Disclaimer: I don't own Yuyu Hakusho, Kurama, Botan, and/or Hiei.
A/N: Hello everyone! This is a little funny story of mine that I hope you folks will like. Well, here's the info!
Summary: When Yusuke and Keiko go on a months vacation they ask Botan, Hiei, and Kurama to watch over the house while they're gone. Nothing can go wrong right? WRONG!
Main Characters: Kurama, Hiei, and Botan. (Tell me if you want Hiei/Botan, or Kurama/Botan, or Kurama/Botan/Hiei.)
Rated: T for Teen.
Hinata Kimazaki: Well, here's "The Caretakers"!
Kurama laid stretched out on his couch relaxing. This was going to be the best day ever for him. His family was out on vacation for a week so that meant the house was his for seven days. He was very happy. But little did Kurama know, he was in for one hell of a week.
"Ah, now this is very relaxing." Kurama said stirring his hot raspberry tea. Suddenly, the phone rang, causing Kurama to drop his hot tea all over him.
"AH!" Kurama shouted running around from the infernal burning that was making its way down to his area. "Holy crap!"
The phone continued to ring and Kurama continued to prance around shouting things like 'it's hot!' and 'mommy! Please help me!'. Kurama finally got hold of himself and went to the phone.
"Hello!" he shouted angrily.
"Kurama?" a familiar voice said. It was Yusuke. "You alright? Why you sound like your pissed about something?"
"I am!" Kurama shouted again.
"Because! I was drinking some very hot tea, and then out of nowhere the phone rings and out of shock, I drop hot tea all down the front of my clothes." Kurama said growling.
"Sorry, well I wanted to ask you a favor. If you'll let me." Yusuke continued.
Kurama sighed. "Fine, what is it you need to ask?"
"Well, Keiko and I are going on a weeks vacation, and we need someone to watch over the house, I wanted to know would you watch the house for us?" Yusuke said.
"You mean…stay at your house?" Kurama asked curiously.
"Yeah, for a whole week, meaning seven days."
"I know that, I'm not stupid." Kurama explained growing annoyed.
"Okay, so will you?" Yusuke asked, Kurama thought for a minute.
"Why don't you ask Kuwabara?"
"Are you nuts? I would never have him watch my house! He'd probably have it destroyed!"
Kurama sighed. "Okay, I'll watch the house for you."
"Great! That means we have three people, that's wonderful." Yusuke said.
"Wait a minute." Kurama began. "three people? So…I'm not the only person watching the house."
"Yeah." Yusuke started. "We invited Botan and Hiei as well, so that way, you'd have some company from Hiei and Botan can make dinner and breakfast for you and of course clean up the house."
"…um…Yusuke…what have you just gotten me into?" Kurama explained, worry in his voice.
"What's wrong with that?" Yusuke questioned.
"Do you have any idea what happens when you leave Botan and Hiei together? There's a big chance only one of us will come out of this alive."
"And who will that be…?"
"Hiei!" Kurama shouted shaking from the thoughts of what Hiei does to his victims.
"Just relax Kurama. Nothing can go wrong. Just please get ready tonight and be over here tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock. Okay?"
Kurama sighed. "Yes, okay, I'll be there."
"Great! Bye fox, see ya' tomorrow!" Yusuke hung up the phone.
Something in Kurama's gut said that he was in for a world of chaos. And happiness…yes…lots and lots of happiness…
The Next Day…
Kurama was in his car on his way to Yusuke's house. He really didn't want to go but he couldn't help but to. He really did owe Yusuke for a lot of things, and they were things that couldn't go unappreciated.
Suddenly, Kurama noticed he wasn't paying attention to the road and accidentally hit a bird, but not just any bird, a giant seagull.
Kurama pulled over and stepped out of the car. "NO!" he shouted when he saw that the bird was stuck in the front of his car grill. He hit his head against his car. "Why me?" he kept repeating.
People that drove by him laughed and shouted thing like 'hey! Nice bird!' and things like that. Kurama was completely embarrassed.
Kurama had no other choice but to get inside his car and continue towards Yusuke's house…well…he was gonna…that was until a car full of guys pulled over next to him.
"Hey there sexy momma!" one shouted. Kurama was humiliated. For Christ's sake he was a man!
"Why don't you give me yo' seven digits?" the guy continued. Kurama shook his head 'no'. "Why not baby?"
Kurama began to shake with anger. "Because I'm a MAN!"
The guy in the car's eye lit up and horror. "Oh my kami!" Then he drove off down the street.
Kurama sighed and got into his car. "Why does every man think I'm a woman at first?"
Because you are one. Came Youko's voice.
"Silence you!" Kurama shouted. "This does not involve you."
Shuichi…are you gay…? Youko asked. Kurama wanted to punch himself so he could silence the infernal noise that was coming from his demon within. Kurama shook off what Youko said to him and continued to drive on the road.
At The House…
Kurama pulled into the driveway of Yusuke's house and saw Botan and Hiei standing on the porch not facing each other. Kurama felt butterflies in his stomach from nervousness. Was hell gonna start already?
He stepped out of the car receiving looks from Hiei and Botan. Botan smiled and waved, while Hiei just stood and glared at him. Kurama could tell, hell had started and was no where near over with.
"Hello Botan, hello Hiei." Kurama greeted. Botan gave him another one of her famous smiles. Hiei gave a 'hn.'
"Kurama, how long is it been, perhaps months?" Botan said giving him a quick hug.
"Yes, I agree, it has been a very long time." Kurama said, he returned the hug then he looked at Hiei. "Your not going to raise holy hell, are you?"
"Hn. Baka kitsune…of course I will." Hiei said with a deadly smirk. Botan shivered in fear and Kurama just anime sweat dropped.
"Ah! Kurama, Botan, and Hiei! What's up?" Yusuke said coming from the backyard carrying a bunch of bags and a suitcase.
"Good afternoon, Yusuke." Botan and Kurama chorused. Hiei looked at the former spirit detective and replied with a 'hn'.
"Well, I hope you three are gonna take care of the house very well." Keiko said coming out after him, holding nothing but her purse.
Yusuke looked at his wife. "Why do I have to carry the bags while you just stand there and look pretty?"
Keiko grinned at him. "Because, a real husband would carry all the bags."
Yusuke grunted. "Damn women and there, 'real husband's' thing."
"Um Kurama?" came Botan's voice. Kurama was humiliated at what she was looking at. "Why is there a bird in your car grill?"
Kurama sighed. "I hit it on the way here. Now it's stuck."
"Hey, I could gut that thing and eat it for dinner." Hiei stated walking towards the car.
"Hiei, I wouldn't do that…the alarm is on…" Kurama began, as soon as he said it, the car alarm went off. Hiei jumped back startled.
Hiei began to pull out his sword. "Foul human contraction! Prepare to feel my wrath!"
"Hiei! No!" Kurama shouted. But it was too late, Hiei had shoved the sword inside the hood of his car.
Kurama slapped his forehead. "This is going to be absolute hell…"
After all the hugs and things, Yusuke and Keiko drove off inside there car. Kurama and Botan waved goodbye, while Hiei…was trying to get his sword out of Kurama's car.
"Damn it, kitsune! Your infernal human contraction won't hand over my sword!" Hiei shouted.
Botan sighed. "Would you like me to help, Hiei-san?" Hiei frowned.
Botan shivered. "I take that as a 'no' then."
Kurama put a hand on the deity's shoulder. "Come on, you and I will go inside." Botan nodded.
"KITSUNE! MY SWORD IS STILL STUCK!" Hiei shouted filled with rage.
Kurama had another anime sweat drop. "Hiei, we'll worry about that later, right now, we need to go inside and get settled in."
Hiei grunted. Baka fox! He doesn't know how bad I want to kill him sometimes. Hiei thought.
Kurama felt Botan jumping up and down with glee while hanging onto his arm. Her turned to look at her, she looked extra excited.
"Open the door! Please Kurama-kun!" she said. Kurama smiled and took the keys out of his pocket, opening the door. Botan raced in.
Kurama looked to Hiei. "Come on, Hiei."
Hiei frowned but walked over and went inside. Suddenly, as soon as the deity and the fire demon got inside, the door slammed shut behind them. They turned quickly to see Kurama breathing roughly and staring at the two.
"Now listen up!" Kurama started. "I'm going to lay down some rules ! Number 1! NO ARGUING! Number 2: NO ACTING OUT! Number 3! NO VIOLENCE! AND THAT GOES TO YOU HIEI!" Kurama looked to Hiei. Hiei just said 'hn'.
"And number 4! DO NOT BOTHER ME! I will be happy to assist you with something, but do not continuously aggravated me!"
Botan nodded her head slowly. Hiei didn't reply. Kurama stopped panting hard and went back to his normal calm self.
"That's all I have to say." He said with a smile.
Botan swallowed hard. "Well, um, that's a side to you Kurama-kun I hope to never see again." Kurama just gave her a innocent smile. "Okay, let's get settled in." Botan reached into her pocket and brought out a sheet of paper.
"Keiko-chan wants me to have her room, as Yusuke-san says Kurama-kun can have his room. And they say Hiei, you can sleep wherever you please."
"I want the attic." Hiei answered. Kurama and Botan's widened in confusion.
"Um, the attic?" Botan repeated. "Why up there, Hiei-san?"
"Because I want the attic baka onna. Don't ask me questions." Hiei answered.
Kurama sighed. "Botan-chan, just let the guy have the attic."
Botan was still confused but she accepted. "Okay, if you say so, Kurama-kun."
"Read the rest of the stuff on the list if you would please, Botan-chan." Kurama said.
"Okay, Keiko-chan says for me to cook dinner and breakfast, Kurama-kun is to help me clean up the house and Hiei-san…well…again, you can do as you please." Botan said folding up the paper again and put it back into her pocket.
"Well, now that that's done, let's go check out our rooms and things." Kurama said. Botan nodded as well as Hiei.
As soon as Kurama and Botan walked upstairs to their rooms, Hiei went to the attic and looked around. "Hm..." He began. "Anything I want…I like the sound of that…"
Author's Note: Hello everybody! That's the first chapter to "The Caretakers"! I hope you liked it! This chapter wasn't really supposed to be funny, so I hope you won't flame saying, 'THAT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY!' Remember to tell me if you want any pairing!
What will Hiei do with the attic?
What will happen to Kurama and Botan?
And…why the HELL would Yusuke and Keiko let Hiei do whatever he pleases?
All the questions will be answered in the next chapter to "The Caretakers"!