SUMMARY: Axel/Roxas. Yaoi. M/M. Before they were friends, they couldn't stand each other, and quickly that changed to friendship to lust. Crackfic. (the author's humble opinion, read at own risk)

Author's apologizes: I wrote this out in two hours, at 4 in the morning. The best stories comefrom total lack of sleep I say. My friends liked it, I'm not so sure...but what the heck? What do I have to lose? I hope it at least amuses you and you don't come out of it regretting you read. I hate how everybody seems to write how Axel and Roxas instantly became is my personal take off.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Don't sue, I'm not worth anything but a slow computer.

Rating: Rated M for language and eventually boylove. :D Don't like the idea? Click out. Now.

Axel's POV
Number VIII, The Flurry of Dancing Flames. I don't recall how I received this title, but it seemed to stick since day one, the moment I appeared in the World That Never Was. I have the ability to manipulate and create fire, along with my choice of weapons--Chakrams.

Joining the Organization wasn't much of a choice; it was about the only logical choice. There isn't much to this pathetic world; joining the Organization was the only way a Nobody could survive in a world that was always dark.

Where are my manners? The name is Axel. A-X-E-L. Got is memorized?

Most people have other fond pet names for me. Asshole, prick, Ax, and my most favorite--8. Xemnas is the only one who calls us by our numbers. Figures. In case you don't know, Xemnas is the leader, the one that started the Organization. I personally don't like the man, but he's the leader and whatever he wants--goes. No questions asked, unless you want to cease to exist.

I'm currently on patrol duty; it was Xemnas' favorite way of punishing me for arguing with him. We argue quite a bit, but Xemnas always has the upperhand, much to my annoyance. How much I would love to ram one of my chakram up his--

Ahem. I'm getting ahead of myself. Onward--patrol duty basically sucks and is pointless. There is nothing in this world but buildings and intersecting streets. Never light, always eternal night. I never actually 'patrolled' before; I usually find an empty alley and entertain myself by polishing my chakrams.

But tonight was different, in mid-stride of running a rag through one of my precious chakrams, I notice little dark figure popping out of the ground, with bright small yellow eyes, coming towards me. Heartless. Scowling, I summon my other chakram in my hand. Heartless don't belong in this world, and I'm puzzled how the fuck they are here in this world. I easily ram my weapons through their defenseless little bodies and walk out of the alley, only to be surrounded by...hundreds of them, slinking towards me as if I were their roadkill. Where the fuck are these bastards coming from? I wonder as I throw tidals of flames towards them, killing quite an impressive amount of them off.

After a couple more minutes of this, I notice I'm growing fatigue. Ugh, I'm not to die because of little black...things. My chakrams return to my hands and I frown, noticing their increasing amount. By the time I killed off enough of them, more will come. Fuck.

I hear clashing of metal suddenly behind me, and I turn, unsurprised to see another dark cloaked figure, wielding two keyblades and slashing at the Heartless. I scowl. Roxas, always showing off.

"I was perfectly fine, thank you," I say rudely, walking towards the teen. I did not need help from a child.

I can see the curve of a smile from the boy from under his hood. "Really? From up there, it looked like you needed help."

I huffed. "Your eyes deceive you."

"Shut up," he snapped, kicking at a nearby Heartless attempting to crawl up his cloak.

I roll my eyes and watch as the kid swirled and jumped through the air, giving an impressive showing of using both his keyblades with equal ease and talent. Number XIII. The Key of Destiny. Roxas.

My favorite pet name for him has to be brat. The kid had the biggest head out of all of us, thinking his stupid little Keyblade gives him seniority over Xemnas himself. But Xemnas never punished him; he just smiled as if he were highly amused. Which really ticked me off, if I even ATTEMPTED to speak to Xemnas that way, I would be on patrol duty for the rest of my stupid Nobody life, but Roxas? Roxas was SPECIAL and received better treatment than the rest of us, even though he had only been here for a few months. Brat.

It was insulting; he was just a kid. The rest of us were...well...I'm twenty-one. And before this brat, the youngest member was eighteen. But fifteen? It's laughable. He's so short and ...tiny. Not to mention he looks like a girl, with his beautiful sapphire eyes of his (I can't help but notice, they sorta just jump at you; his eyes) and his blonde wisps of hair that seemed to stick up in natural spikes. The kid still has his baby fat, for crying out loud. Xemnas must be missing a few marbles to allow this kid into the Organization.

I took one side of the street, and Roxas took the other side, and together we did more damage and killed quite a bit of the Heartless. Alright, I had to give the kid props--he knew how to fight pretty damn well.

Then something magnificent happened--I twirled my chakram into the air, and the kid jumped on it, slashing through the Heartless as he rode on the chakram as if it were a fucking surfboard, and the charkram swirled back towards me, and Roxas did a back flip, landing behind me, my chakram back in my hand. I stared at the kid. Roxas smirked. "Got it memorized?"

I glared at the kid for using my signature saying, but I noticed the lack of Heartless.

"My chakrams isn't a skateboard," I hissed, examining my weapons for footprints, I just fucking polished them.

"And the blood on them makes it any better?" he said in teasing tone.

His sapphire eyes glinted up at me in amusement; I whacked him on the head, causing his hood to fall down to reveal his blonde hair. He scowled, I smirked.

Personally, I think the only reason Xemnas holds meetings is to amuse himself. The meetings are pointless. I think he just likes to make sure we're not plotting against him or some shit like that. He snapped at Demyx for dozing off, and I glance at Roxas, who is examining his fingernails, seemingly bored. Grr.

This operation Kingdom Hearts had been in development for quite some time, but so far, we are exactly where we were two years ago--absolutely nowhere.

I heard my number.

"Number eight and number thirteen will handle this mission," said Xemnas in a monotone voice, not glancing at either one of us.

WHAT! I wearily stole a glance at the kid, who didn't look happy at this news either. Didn't Xemnas know how much I wanted to KILL the kid? Seriously, I've debated of stealing his own keyblade and killing him in his sleep...

Roxas opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it and nodded. Xemnas turned to me and I gave a fake smile and thumbs up.

Fucking fabulous. I'm fucking singing with uncontained joy. Wipee.

Roxas' POV
If there is one thing I hate, it's people telling me what to do. Just because I'm fifteen, doesn't make me a moron. Axel is the only moron who doesn't understand that. I seriously wondered if Xemnas was bonkers for matching Axel and me in a mission together. We would probably kill each other off before we accomplished our mission.

The only compliment I can give the older Nobody is he is a good partner to have in a battle. Not to mention I do particularly enjoy watching him set things on fire with a flick of a wrist. But his attitude and personality is a complete different story.

Bossy. Ignorant. Bastard. Asshole. Doesn't LISTEN worth shit, and just an overall pain in the rear. Can't talk to him without receiving some sarcastic reply. Prick didn't even show me any gratitude when I fucking helped save his worthless ass from those copious amounts of Heartless the other day.

But then again, none of the other members have manners either. Manners didn't exist here. Other than the occasional--"I'll spare your life. . .for now." That was about as merciful a Nobody got.

The fucker (new pet name) and I were currently debating over the choice of travel, not debating, more like screaming at each other.

"WE ARE NOT TAKING A FUCKING GUMMI SHIP!" he bellowed, sounding like an immature child than the twenty-one year old Nobody he actually was.

"Xemnas said we had to keep a low profile, sudden appearing portals in the middle of a town is going to look suspicious, you dumbfuck!" I shrieked back, and my keyblades appeared in my hands. I can't control it, my Keyblades always appear in my hands when there is danger or when I'm angry. And right now, I'm pretty pissed off.

He huffed. "Fine. But I'm not driving the piece of shit. Why take something that will take a whole day to get to, when we could just use a portal--"

He was quickly getting on my nerves. I growled. "Shut up and use your head, or whatever brain cells you have left."

"No offense, but I really don't want to spent a whole day stuck in a cramped ship with you," he leered, crossing his arms angrily, a dark scowl on his features.

"Does it at least have warp speed?" he asked, sounding desperate.

I sighed. "No."

"Well fuck," he said, bowing his head in defeat.

"Well, Merry fucking Christmas," I responded smartly. "Consider this as coal, reward for being on the Naughty list."

"In that case, I'll ask Santa to sent me a bomb," he said. "Death is better than this hell."

I couldn't agree more.

We managed not to kill each other on the first 12 hours, shocking as this was. Most of the time he ignored me, or polished his idiotic chakrams. I had to admit, there was beautifully impressive weapons, but was it really necessary to polish them that much? They were just going to get dirty all over again the next time we fought. Moron.

"Are we there yet?" he asked for the hundredth time.

I slammed on the brakes, causing him to fall on his ass.

"Is it physically impossible for you NOT to shut the hell up?" I asked him, glancing at my shoulder to glare at him.

He sent me a nice hand gesture, which I returned.

So childish. How the fuck he got into the Organization, I only assumed he must've had to fuck Xemnas or something...

I must've been so lost in my thoughts; I didn't notice the large meteor coming towards us. Axel roughly pushed me aside and took control of the ship, jerking the wheel to the right, missing the meteor by an inch. He turned to me, glaring darkly into my eyes. His green eyes glittered madness.

"Fucking moron," he muttered, picking up his dropped chakram and taking out a rag. "You nearly fucking killed me with a dumbass oversize, ROCK."

"What a shame," I said lividly. "The world was nearly a better place."

Axel's POV
This world was nearly as pathetic as the World That Never Was itself. Only the sunlight was a nice change from the dark. But other than that, this world was pretty darn depressing. Hollow Bastion. And a pathetic name to go with it, also. Not surprising.

"What possibly could someone offer us in this world?" I muttered.

Roxas blinked, his face unreadable. "Well, obviously something if Xemnas sent us here."

"Maybe as punishment," I thought airily. "He does hate my guts."

"Who doesn't?" the kid asked, a serious expression on his features.

I sent him my favorite hand gesture. "I'm FLATTERED."

"Erm, Xemnas said someting about a office," said Roxas, gripping my attention from the foxy young brunette that walked by. Scorching HOT.

Shame it wouldn't work out, me being a Nobody. She would've matched my redhair perfectly.

Ahem. Anyway--onto the mission of hell. After aimlessly walking through this town, we bumped into quite a few strange looking people. And a weird teddy bear that... talked. With a red ball on its head...

"KUPO!" it squealed. I kicked it, and laughed. Roxas glared and helped it back up.

The teddy bear glared and made odd beeping sounds. I snickered and Roxas whispered something to it. The bear kicked me the shin, making me fall to the ground.


It screamed, "Kupo!" and ran off. Coward!

Roxas howled with laughter. If only I could ram my chakram in his throat, but too many witnesses.

"Let's move on," I hissed, dusting myself off.

Roxas snickered the whole way there.


AN: Next chapter things heat up, in more ways than one. Axel and Roxas battle, this time not the Heartless, but some FF characters.Axel gets punished. And a game begins. Reviews make the author update faster. :D