Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.
(Sequel to 'Haruka versus the Lawnmower.')
Welcome to Room 101
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
The next thing I realise is that I'm falling… Maybe the monsters in my dreams – i.e. my coach etc. – have knocked me down a deep, dark ravine with no end to it. Then I hit something: OK, no deep, dark ravine for me then… unless I've reached the end of endlessness. Hang on a minute I think I just heard something…
There is is again; why is someone calling me… and why's something crawling on top of me… have the demons come to kill me. I open my eyes and realise what's happened; I've just fallen out of bed, or rather been pushed, and the 'demon' on top of me is none other than Michiru, who does actually look rather demonic this morning. Hang on a minute, demonic Michiru? Oh shit, that means only one thing…
"Ruka, you know I love you, right?" Why does the tone in her voice sound so familiar? Oh no, I'm not mowing the lawn again, especially not if I'm gonna end up with a youmafied/Hotaru-and-Chibi-Usa-fied lawnmower. Seriously, the only thing worse than housework is when you have to do housework with possessed appliances!
"Well seeing as you love me so much," Michiru smiles, "I'm sure you won't mind painting one of the spare rooms for me: will you?"
Of course the way she says the 'will you' at the end makes me completely certain that it's not a request; it's a command. Why is it that I know this is going to end in complete and utter disaster?
Forget what I said earlier about this probably ending up as a complete and utter disaster; it's total chaos right now and I haven't even started painting yet. Why oh why do we have to paint this room anyway? I mean it's not like we ever have important enough guests to have them stay in this room anyway, is it? And god knows they must be pretty important; she's acting as though we've invited the president over to tea or something, jeesh.
Of course she never gives me any warning about this sort of thing, does she? Clean out the guest-room, Haruka, mow the lawn Haruka, do so much housework that you feel like you're gonna die, Haruka, etc. etc.
Right now I'm dragging a bookcase down the corridor into the study; right, done. Now all I have to do is move the bed… and how am I going to do that? Gods this if annoying, and pretty painful too: I think I've wrenched my arms out of their sockets. Why do we have to re-decorate the guest room anyway? Why, why, why? It'd be easier if I had someone here to help out, but of course that's not going to happen, is it?
"Haruka!" I jump out of my skin as someone yells in my ear. I turn around and see Michiru.
"Hey, Michi," I say, wondering whether she's either come up to give me a hand or give me a break from my oh-so-strenuous duties.
"Haruka, Minako is coming over later," Michiru says; well that definitely wasn't what I was expecting her her to say.
"Why?" I ask.
"She's decided she's going to give you a hand with the re-decorating," Michiru explains.
"Oh… right." And that's when I knew things were going to take a turn from bad to really, really bad.
Soon after giving me the shock of my life – i.e telling me that Minako was coming to help with the decorating – Michiru decided I could finally have a break. That break, however, was on one condition, that I didn't go anywhere near the sink: I think Michiru's finally gotten tired of my accidental habbit of breaking her precious dishes, mugs, teacups, hair-curlers, whatever. Seriously, she had a pair of curlers lying on the side of the sink, though god knows what for, and I ended up knocking them in there: she had a complete fit. I still reckon that that wasn't my fault; after all, why did she leave her bloody curlers lying next to the sink? I mean come on…
Anyway my break was soon cut short when Minako arrived, and boy does that girl know how to make an entrance. She flounced into the kitchen in a freaking designer skirt and shirt like she was going on a date or something, then managed to trip over the table-leg somehow, though how she managed to do that in the first place is about as much of a mystery to me as why Michiru would leave a pair of curlers by the sink. But back to the outfit: even Michiru was giving her this look, like 'what on earth are you doing, planning to do D.I.Y in that outfit?' You know if Michiru wasn't such a genius I wouldn't expect her to even know what D.I.Y stands for… though I expect that today it'll be closer to 'Destroy It Yourself' than anything else, especially considering that my only 'helper' is Minako, who's more of a domestic disaster than even Setsuna, which is saying a heck of a lot, believe me.
"Minako, I think you may want to change out of that outfit," Michiru kindly points out to the blonde girl in front of us. "I have some clothes you can borrow if you want."
Read: I have some of Haruka's old clothes you can borrow if you want, because I wouldn't dare dirty my own by doing anything like, hmmm, housework?
"Thanks, Michiru-chan," Minako beams at her. "Oh this is going to be so much fun, right, Haruka?"
And that's when I realise: things can always get worse.
Just ignore eveything I've said so far about how much of a disaster today is going to be, just completely rid your minds of it, okay? You see today wasn't a disaster; it was as though Chaos has returned and decided to reak havoc on our house and our house alone, and the focused efforts of Choas to reek destruction were intensifying with every passing moment. In other words having Minako 'helping' me was just about the biggest hinderence that I could have had, ever. Gods I'd almost rather sleep on the couch than I would be doing this… actually no, I take that back, I refuse to sleep on the couch; do you realise how much it hurts your neck and back when you do that? Jeez…
Well we've finally moved everything out of the room, finally, and we're ready to begin painting. Minako looks chuffed to bits already and is practically jumping up on down like a… a… like a kangaroo on speed is the only way I can describe it, I guess. She's already scuttled up the stepladder and I've only just got it up: well at least someone's enthusiastic about this hellish task. Okay, maybe enthusiastic isn't good, especially when said enthusiastic person manages to flick a paintbrush in the air and get white paint in my goddamn hair before we've even started on the walls. Oh how fun this is, how fun indeed: if I didn't know better I'd swear the guest-room was room 101 or something; it sure is jinxed enough…
She won't stop fucking singing: this is really pissing me off, incase you can't already tell! Seriously, that is the one flaw Minako has, and that's that she doesn't know when to shut up. She's been singing bloody 'c'est la vie' and the like for the past hour or millennia or however long we've been working, though it feels more like the latter of the two.
"Hey, Haruka, guess what?" she chirps up when she's finally stopped singing.
"What?" I ask, almost rolling my eyes at this.
"I'm like Farinelli."
"What?" okay, does Minako even know who Farinelli was? It sure doesn't seem like it judging by that statement.
"You know, I'm like Farinelli because I'm painting on the ceiling," she says.
Painting on the ceiling? Ah, I think she might have just somehow got Farinelli confused with Michelangelo… How on Earth did she manage that one? Maybe she left her brain on Venus… or Mars, yes that's probably it.
"Painting on the ceiling is fu…" Minako begins to say as she swings her paintbrush around wildly. Then it slips out of her hand… and hits me in the face. Oh how I love thee, white paint, for making me look like a bloody ghost.
"What on Earth are you two doing in here?" Michiru asks as she appears in the doorway.
"Erm, Michi, we were just…"
"I'm like Farinelli because I'm painting on the ceiling, right, Haruka?"
Michiru sweatdrops at this, "Minako, I don't think that was Farinelli," she says.
We finished painting the room a few hours ago, but Minako's only just gone so Michiru and I have only now got time to ourselves.
"You did a nice job on that room today, Ruka," Michiru smiles.
"Thanks, Michi," I reply.
"I mean it, it looks a lot better now. Just in time too."
I blink: just in time for what? Then it hits me: oh god, please, tell me it's not so… "Why did we have to do up that room anyway, Michiru?" I ask her.
"Because my parents are coming to visit in a few days time."
"Oh, right, your parents…" I shrug. Then it hits me; I was right: "What!" And there I was thinking that things couldn't get any worse…