Here it is, the very last chapter.

"You're WHAT?" gaped Edward.

"I'm gay," Harriet repeated.

"But what about the time we-"

"That was high school. I was confused and unmedicated," she sighed. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

He took a step backward, shaking. "Damn you, stupid d**e! How could you? How could you lead me on like that?"

"I was confused! I'm sorry, Ed. I only love women."

"Please, I don't-"

"You can live without me, Edward. Find Winry. Propose to her. You two are perfect together."

The corner of Ed's mouth raised a little. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, good luck with the lizards and the women, then."

"You too, Ed."

"Ed, let's go! We have to go before the portal closes! Get Harriet and come on!" shouted Al over the sound of the barn being pulled apart.

"She isn't coming!" Ed shouted back.

"What? Why?"

"She's a lesbian!"

"Called it," Riza whispered to Roy. "You owe me a date."

The end. 3

In case you were wondering about him, Jay has since become my artistic muse. We are no longer intimate, and he has some interesting ideas to share.

I may come back to some day to write other fanfictions, but don't expect it to be soon.

Oh yeah, and I'm 18 now so it won't be as weird/slightly illegal if I ever write more lemons.

Thank you everyone for the support I've received during the making of these fanfics! It means a lot to me!

This is ObeyTheSnarf, signing off. So long, everyone! ;)