Ten Stupid Men

A TV broadcasting studio. Chisato is reading the news.

Chisato: ...And that's how the monsters ceased to exist! That was the Nede Chronicle At Ten, we'll be back in half an hour with more news. For now, bye.

Skip to advertisements. A man in a bunny suit is bouncing around a field.

Man in bunny suit: Have you always wanted your own bunny? Well, now you can with the 'Come On Bunny' bunny whistle! Buy now and receive a free bunny care guide!

Bunny girls run on and start dancing. The screen eventually fades out to a large ring of fire in the middle of a studio. Dressed like Gogol Bordello and wearing a glove puppet of Vesper on one hand, Decus jumps through it in time to his theme tune.

Decus: OHHH! IT'S HOT! OHHHH!

Sound of cheering children. Stage crew frantically put the fire out

Decus: Hello boys and girls! It's time for the Decus and Vesper show! Unfortunately, Vesper got cancelled for swearing so I've replaced him with this hand puppet!

Hand puppet: Don't you think Decus is VEH-RY strong, boys and girls?

kids cheer

Decus: Now, last week we asked you to send in a report of your favourite firestarting adventures! I'm going to read out the winners of our competition! picks a big piece of cardboard up from the desk Bob from North City wrote "I was put in a young offender's institution for serial arson, but I escaped and burned the place down! Well done Bob! Okay, next up is Bobbie from L' Aqua. She wrote "I'm scared of clowns, so I set fire to McDonalds!". Wasn't that a good thing to do, boys and girls?

kids cheer

Decus: Today on the Decus and Vesper show we have a surprise for you. But you won't see it unless you see the magic word. What's the magic word, children?

Kids: SPICULE!

Decus: That's right! So, here it is! We have a special visitor! Say hello to Filia!

Filia walks on stage.

Kids: HELLO FILIA!

Decus: Now, children, Filia has a special job, don't you Filia?

Filia: I'm Indalecio's power limiter!

Decus: Filia can make our friend Indalecio get STRONGER!

kids cheer

Decus: Of course, Indalecio is still not as strong as me, is he, children?

Kids: NO!

Decus: Because Decus is...

Kids: VERY STRONG!

Filia: whispers Indalecio Limiter Off could kick your ass without trying, you big liar.

Decus: whispers Oh yeah, wanna bet half a million fol on that? out loud So, Filia, show us how to take Indalecio's limiter off!

Filia: Well, I would, but I have this disturbing condition where every second sentence I utter is interrupted by a news...

The screen goes blank and the word 'NEWSFLASH!' appears on the screen. Cut to Chisato standing outside Central City government office.

Chisato: Breaking news! A bunny has just been elected President of Nede! We join the bunny in Central City now to make his inaugural speech! Okay, Mr. Bunny... AAARGH! IT'S ON FIRE! IT'S ALL BURNING! HELLLLLLP!

Decus: Now, kiddies, wasn't that fun?

Kids: YAYYYYYYYYYY!