Title: Escape

Author: "teh great" M.F.

Disclaimer: all disclaimer rules apply. here and now.

Warnings: Shounan-ai/Yaoi, OOC (more than likely)

Before Notes: Yes, I've noticed. Kanda and Allen are a popular yaoi coupling… but I'm just more into Rabi and Allen. Maybe it's because I haven't given KxA a chance. But Kanda hasn't been in the manga so much lately, I hope he shows up some more, then maybe I'll give him a chance. But for now, its Rabi 'n Allen all the way baby!

Chapter 01: Luncheon

I'm in love with someone...

"Oi! Bean sprout! Wait up!" The voice echoed throughout the courtyard. Most of the people walking through didn't even look up. But the greeting definitely caught the attention of one young exorcist. White hair, light blue eyes, and a little on the short side... No wonder someone would come up with the nickname "bean sprout".

He turned around, fire burning in his eyes. "I told you not to call me that Rabi!" He glared up at his senior exorcist.

"Oh, c'mon! Nicknames are fun 'Allen'..." Rabi looked at Allen playfully. "And what's with the hair today? Ponytail...What's the occasion?" He asked as he roughed up the top of Allen's head.

"It's suppose to get a little hot later, and plus I was cleaning out some stuff this morning." Allen tried to fix the damage done to his hair, but it was to no avail...he looked up at Rabi. "What is it that you wanted anyways?" He waited for the obvious answer...

"Oh." Rabi paused and ran a hand through his messy red hair. "Oh! That's right! How about we go out and get us some luncheon?" Rabi smiled. Lucky for him, Allen always had some cash on him.

This was a daily routine for the two of them by now. When they weren't off on missions and back at home base Rabi would usually go off and find Allen to mooch a meal out of him. The thing is, Allen would never refuse Rabi's generous offer. This, Rabi knew all too well. Why didn't he refuse? Because, Allen was just a kind person at heart, in other words... a pushover.

"Of course lunch... Did you forget to eat breakfast again?" He gave Rabi a sideways glance and sighed. "What am I? Your mother? Do I always have to be around for you to be able to eat something? For Pete's sake, you're three years older than me!"

Rabi smiled as he enjoyed the exasperated look on Allen's face. "Hey! Get it right. It's two and a half years older. As for the whole mother thing, I might believe it if you had the boobs!" Rabi joked. Allen's usual pale face went red as he blew Rabi off and quickened his pace.

"Hey, wait up!" Rabi fell in step with Allen and sighed. "So where are we goin?"

"Where else?" Allen answered. "The usual place of course."

"You know Allen, how about we go check out a new place? Huh?" Rabi pointed down an alley as they passed by it. "I know about this new place. I hear they have really good desserts!" Rabi blushed. "Mmm. Desserts…"

Allen paused. That alley didn't look too friendly. And when he thought of good desserts, he usually thought of those cutesy little bishoujo coffee houses. There was no way one of those coffee houses was going to be in a deep, dark alley like that one…

"I dunno Rabi…" Allen looked down the street to the warm, welcoming building that was their usual pit stop.

"Oh come on!" Rabi smiled mischievously. "Ya aren't scared of dark lookin' alleys like this now are ya?"

"What? Are you kidding me?" Allen had faced akuma ten times scarier than this alley, and Rabi knew it. Who was this guy trying to fool? "Fine, but it better be good."

"You won't be disappointed!" Rabi beamed as he grabbed Allen's hand and led them down the alleyway.

I love him very much...

Well, it seemed safe. Allen couldn't sense any akuma nearby so they didn't have to be on guard at the moment. It would be a peaceful luncheon today, something that happened only on rare occasions. Allen looked around at the creepy, suspicious looking stalls until one finally caught his attention.

"TADA! Here we are!" Rabi gestured grandly as they stood in front of a bright pink and white building that seemed misplaced in the dark alley. Allen just gaped at it. Not only did he question how people would find this sort of place, but also how Rabi knew about it.

"They have great advertising!" Rabi answered, as if he had read Allen's mind. "Now let's go inside!" He excitedly went on ahead.

"Welcome to the Bishojo Teahouse!"

He was right. Allen was right from the very beginning.

Allen gaped at all the waitresses. They were all dressed as maids in frilly, ribbony, pink, white and black outfits that exposed a good amount of skin… but of course, not too far ahead was Rabi, who seemed to be speechless at the moment as he drooled over the maids.

What would appeal more to Rabi? Maids Or Desserts? Allen glared at Rabi for dragging him to a place like this.

"Maids." He answered for himself. That's the REAL reason we came here… for the cosplaying…

"Right this way sir!" A waitress came over and led Allen into the shop.

"W-Wait a minute, I'm with that guy…" Allen pointed over his shoulder at Rabi who was too busy gawking to be dragged away.

"Oh, of course! Someone will bring him over momentarily."

Allen sat down at a frilly and pink table for two. Everything had a doily, the salt, the pepper, the ketchup… it was too much cute for him to handle. Allen looked up at the waitress as she waited for Rabi to be dragged over to the table. If he had known any better he would have thought that all the maids here had suspiciously oversized breasts. But of course he didn't, so he didn't pay much attention.

"Today's specials are listed on the first page." The waitress smiled as Rabi finally took his seat. "And since today is Monday, it's 'Couples Day!' So that means, that if you're here with your lover, you'll get a thirty percent discount on your meal! We like to call it the Monday Special!" She smiled.

Allen looked down at the menu. You can't be serious… With a shaky hand he looked back up at the maid. "T-thanks, w-we might take a while, so we'll call you when we're ready…"

"Alright then!" and with that, she bouncifully skipped away.

As soon as she was out of earshot Allen shot daggers over at Rabi. "Rabi!" he whispered. "Are you crazy? Bringing us to a place like this! We can't afford any of these things on the menu!"

Rabi snapped out of his trans. "What do you mean 'can't afford'…?" Snatching the menu out of Allen's hands Rabi looked over the prices, but the further down the page he went, the paler he got. "What kind of restaurant is this?" he asked, horrified. "Fifty bucks for a drink?"

Allen's head hit the table. "I don't know, but we can't just leave, now that they're pampered us so much…" Allen looked down at the fuzzy pink slippers they had given him to walk around the restaurant in.

Frantically, Rabi looked around the entire shop. Now that he wasn't drooling over the maids he noticed that they were the only 'common' looking folk in the store. Everyone else in the store looked like your average bazillionaire. Rabi turned to Allen.

"Allen, now let's calm down here for a second…"

"I am calm." Allen mumbled miserably as he looked up at Rabi.

Rabi ignored him and continued. "We've got to think about the pros and cons! Pros: we can eat delicious food made by these gorgeous beauties… all the while having them wait on us hand and foot... Cons: we won't be able to pay, so they might end up making us wear those weird costumes and serve the customers…"

The two exchanged looks of disgust.

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?" Rabi yelled at the top of his lungs, panicking.

"SHHH!" Allen grabbed Rabi and covered his mouth before he could yell anymore. "I've got a plan Rabi." Rabi perked up and looked at Allen intensely. Allen swallowed hard then spoke. "All we have to do is tell them that we're a couple."

Rabi's eyes widened. Allen braced himself for Rabi's deaf defying remark--

"Do you think they'll fall for it?"

Allen paused. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" was the type of remark Allen was expecting from his best friend. But this was good too in a way! He was keeping his cool and not blowing their cover, anymore than he already had.

"I don't know if they'll accept it or not, but it's the only chance we've got." Allen said as he let go of Rabi and sat back, regaining his composure. Rabi did the same, and when they looked clean and casual enough Allen unceremoniously raised his arm, and a maid came skipping over.

"What would you like sir?" She asked--extra spunk in her voice.

"We'd like to have your…" Allen whispered. "…'Monday special'…"

"Our what sir?" She leaned in closer, "You've got to speak up sir."

"We'd like your…" Allen gulped. "M-M-Monday…"

"We want the Monday Special!" Rabi announced, loud and clear, his face turning almost as scarlet as his hair.

The waitress just stared at the two of them, dropping both the pen and her paper pad to the ground with a resounding thud. All the other waitresses stopped what they were doing and turned their heads towards Rabi and Allen.

Rabi and Allen glanced at each other as the silence intensified, both thinking the exact same thought: Crap.

"Great going Allen! Let's say we're a couple Allen! Now we're gonna get kicked out ALLEN!" Rabi whispered at Allen tears streaming down his face all while he maids/waitresses all crept closer and closer towards them.

"Oh, shut up Rabi! You're the one who went along with it!" Allen flustered as the maids/waitresses all squeezed closer and closer till Allen started feeling short of breath. This was supposed to have been a regular day out to town for lunch… how did it end up like this?

They all opened their mouths as they reached towards the two of them. Allen closed his eyes tightly as he waited for the sweet embrace of the cold hard concrete outside--


Allen felt as though his eardrums would explode. The next few moments flashed past Allen in a blur, and the next thing he knew there was a table filled with sparkling appetizers, tantalizing entrees and delicious looking desserts all for him and Rabi.

"Great idea Allen!" Rabi said as he finished his last piece of cake and leaned back in his chair. "We gotta come here more often!" Rabi laughed.

Allen had to admit, the food was the best he'd had in a long time, but…

"Hey, I'm the one paying for this Rabi…" Allen handed the maid the cash. "It'll take me months to earn back all the money that I used today." Allen stood up and stretched. "You owe me big time…"

"Yeah, yeah squirt." Rabi sighed as he patted his lean stomach. Even after eating all that food you'd think his stomach would pop out or something. Allen just rolled his eyes as they both made their quick escape to the front door.

"Hold up lovebirds!"

Both of them turned around just as they were about to put their boots on. Standing before them was a burly looking woman, with golden hair and baby blue eyes. Firmly gripping onto each of their shoulders, she continued, "We can't go around believing everyone who says that their lovers, especially if it looks like two friends who are up to no good…"

Allen and Rabi looked at each other and smiled hesitantly, she was obviously the manager or owner of the place. And she was probably the biggest woman they had ever seen. So it wouldn't be hard to imagine that fear overshadowed them and only one thought came to mind: She's gonna eat us!

They had to act fast or else face the consequences. Rabi glanced over at Allen who seemed to be frozen with fear. He sighed. It was up to him to save their asses…

Rabi laughed and slipped his arms around Allen's slender waist. "What're you talkin' 'bout? Course we're lovers!" Rabi decided to go with his infectious drawl as he turned to Allen and smiled. "Right hun?"

Allen held in a look of disgust, although the feeling of Rabi holding Allen so closely and dearly to himself was something Allen found quite comforting. He blushed unwillingly as Rabi's hot breath tickled his ear. "Play along."

Unfortunately their 'lovey-dovey act' wasn't working on the manager. She looked down at them menacingly. "You sure you're lovers? You don't act close enough to be a genuine couple. You got some sort of proof or something?" She cracked her knuckles.

Rabi once again looked at Allen, who seemed to be totally ignoring the fact that they were about to get beaten up by the frightening woman. Rabi paused. In fact, Allen looked downright content in their snug embrace! Rabi smirked. "What's there to prove?" Rabi asked as he placed a hand on either side of Allen's face.

Without another thought, he pressed their lips together. And, as if they had rehearsed, all the maids in the restaurant squealed in unison, which made all the customers look their way.

Although the two of them had the attention of the entire restaurant, to Rabi, it felt as though it was just him and Allen.

If I love him any more, I'm afraid...

Sure, he'd kissed a couple of girls before now, and then gotten slapped and yelled at afterwards, but this was a life or death situation he had on his hands. Rabi knew he had to put on a show for the manager. So why not add a little groping eh?

Rabi slipped his arm up the side of Allen's shirt as the other arm held Allen's head firmly in place.

All the while, Allen was taken aback; his arms were pinned between their two bodies, so he was completely trapped. The last thing he remembered was Rabi holding him tight. Granted, Rabi was still clinging tightly onto him, but now, there was something sweet to go along with it. Allen didn't know how to react. This was his first kiss after all... Wait… What? Allen's eyes widened as he felt Rabi tongue flick into his mouth for a split second.

Allen could feel his cheeks burning as he tasted the sugar from the sweet desserts still fresh on Rabi's lips and tongue. This is unbelievable, this is crazy, this is wrong! Though Allen's head repeated this over and over, Allen made no attempt to stop this onslaught on his mouth.

The manager still lingered above them as the other maids all gathered around to watch the hot action. Rabi took a quick glance at the burley woman. She still isn't satisfied?! Rabi began to panic as he saw her cross her arms across her chest. How am I suppose to spice things up?

On cue, Allen's knees give way and the two of them tumbled backwards into the counter. Girls squealed overhead with glee. Real fangirls that's for sure...Rabi forehead was resting on the counter above Allen's. "Allen, are you okay?" He whispered.

No answer. Rabi shrugged inwardly. And dove down for another kiss.

The manager had seen enough 'proof' around the time the red head had started molesting the younger boy with him. She should have told them to stop, her bowels were already churning in disgust, but even though she didn't believe in this kind of love, she just couldn't help but stare as the show continued. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, she would admit to herself that she wanted to see something like pictures they'd taken together or a promise ring maybe. Anything tangible would have worked... but this?

She shuddered in disgust, "Alright, alright you two! Get a room, or better yet, get out." She waved over her shoulder as she walked towards the bathrooms, clutching her stomach in attempts to ease the churning.

Rabi pulled away and took a breath of fresh air. "Hot damn! Uh… I mean, you okay Allen?" Allen had gone limp in his arms. "H-hey! Allen! Oi! ALLEN?"

I'll break him...

After Notes:
Wow, its been a long while since i've written a fanfic. i had my doubts about writing this... since when did writing fanfics become so challenging?
Oh, well... Yay, RabiAllen Love!
Anyways, i got a little ruler happy as i was editing this, as for the italicized words that appear like what...? Four times throughout this chapter, they're supposed to be Rabi's thoughts on Allen... pretty confusing huh? hehe, yeah, i decided to put em in last minute. as for the rating, i put it on M, just ta be on the safe side. who knows I'll probably put more explicit stuff later on...maybe. Hehehe... anyway, hope you liked it. tune in next time for more!

Edited 8/1/07