-1Disclaimer: I don't own Ben or Max or Dark Angel, etc.

Spoilers: Pollo Loco

Setting: Pollo Loco

Characters: Ben, Max (Father Destry mentioned)

Summary: Ben's thoughts through the end of Pollo Loco.

Rating: PG-13

Author: Ty

Archive: Ask me first, me, Father...

I want someone to stop me. Please, stop me.

'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' What a joke. Pathetic, really. Like some puffed-up guy in a robe telling you everything will be alright can really make what you've done better. But I tried. I tried the weak, pathetic way. I tried to stop. And then he had to say it. He had to mention Her. He had to remind that what I was doing was weak and that I was disgracing Her. Reminded me that I still have to prove that I'm worthy of Her protection.

What am I doing? This is horrible. It's wrong.

No, it's right. It's the only thing right in this messed-up world. I'm strong. The strong survive. I have to be strong.

But I'm not strong. I'm weak. If I were stronger, She wouldn't let these bad things happen to me, to the others. She wouldn't have let Jack...

That won't happen again. I'm doing Her work, now. I'll fix it. I'll fix my mistake. I'm sorry I didn't sooner, Jack.

Please, Max. Stop me. Make it end. I want so badly for it to end. But I can't stop.

No, Max. Don't deny what you are. You're just like me, Max. Don't look at me like that! Don't look at me like I'm a Nomaly. I'm not a Nomaly! This is how we were made, Max. This is what we were meant to do. You, too, Max. You're a hunter, a killer. Just like me.

I knew you had it in you. Look, Max. Blood. My blood. You made me bleed, Max. Your own brother. You're just like me.

But you don't believe in Her. Why don't you believe in Her, Max? Are you scared? That's pathetic. You're unworthy of Her. You'll see. I'll show you. I'll kill this man for Her and you'll see.

Don't let me kill him, Max. I'm scared, Max. So scared.

You can't stop me, Max! No one can stop me. I can't even stop me.

Thank you, Max. Thank you for stopping me. Thank you for breaking my leg. Thank you for saving that man.

No, Max. Don't leave me. You can't. You can't let them take me back. They'll put me with them...the Nomalies. You can't. Please, Max. Just one more favor. Please, Maxie, my little sister.

The Good Place? You remember! I miss those days, Maxie. Those days when we were all together and everything made sense and someone took care of us. I miss those days when I used to make you laugh and I told you all stories. Do you think I'll go to The Good Place, Maxie? I tried so hard to be a good soldier. It's all I knew how to do. I never wanted...

Thank you, Maxie...