Long time no update.
My bad. And 'pologies
"So..." began James, "you're telling me there's a chance that Lily will go out with me?"
"No," snorted Sirius, "we're telling you that there was a chance that Lily would've - not of her own volition, mind -gone out with you, but you ruined it by finding out about me and the Moonster."
"Can't we just act like I'm still in the dark about your torrid affair?" pleaded James.
"And who would believe you?" said Remus, amused, "I mean yes you're pretty oblivious, obviously but nobody, especially someone as smart as Lily, is going to believe that you're that oblivious."
"Then again," interjected Sirius, "she does think he's a right dolt."
"Exactly!" exclaimed James.
"And," continued Sirius, "he is our very bestest mate and people know he'd trust our word over Great Hall gossip anyways."
"Lily would never believe that."
"Shut up Remus!" said James, vehemently, "let the man talk."
"My gratitude's, Prongs," related Sirius inclining his head towards James and directing a mock glare to Remus at the interruption. "As I was saying, people are liable to believe that James here, is perfectly willing to bask in ignorance when it comes to his two bestest chums intentions towards each other. Ergo, we take advantage of that fact, admittedly yes, there are a few flaws, chiefly, everyone will think James is a plonker – even if we are is bestest buds, but on the bright side, he will get his date."
"Firstly, stop saying bestest, secondly, Lily will either not believe us or think of James as an even bigger idiot then before and as someone who is certainly isn't worth her time."
"That's not what matters!" exclaimed James.
"I digress," stated Remus, "perhaps he is already idiot enough for this to work."
"It's not what matters," continued James, ignoring Remus, "Lily's what matters. Lily on a date, with me, is what matters."
"So it doesn't matter what she thinks of you?" uttered Remus, sardonically.
"No!" bellowed James, "well, yes. But not originally. I mean it will, after a while, after the date and in the future but not right now. What matters now is getting her on that date with me and giving me the opportunity to change what she thinks of me."
"Fine," sighed Remus, in surrender, "then go find Pete, be an oblivious dolt, threaten people for spreading rumours about your friends, be nonchalant, whatever but make sure people don't think you know or believe that there's something between us. But don't come off homophobic, Lily won't like that. Ensure everyone knows that you wouldn't mind if we were together, but we're not so it makes no odds to you or well, something anyways."
"Yes, sir!" stated James, enthusiastically giving Remus a sharp salute.
The boys sat quietly together for a while then before Sirius ventured, "James?"
"Yeah?" was the smiled reply from the blissed-up boy.
"I believe when Remus said 'go find Peter' he meant go find Peter, now, while we stay here. Alone."
"Oh," said James, "you two, want to, ummm, you know, you want to uhhh."
"Yes," said Remus, simply.
"Precisely" said Sirius, "and unless you want to join in our canoodling, form a threesome and abandon this Lily folly of yours..."
"I'll just be off then," drawled James as he got up to leave.
"Pity," said Sirius, his voice heavy with sarcasm. And with that James exited the dorm, leaving the other two to their own devices.
"The sooner those two get together, the better," said Sirius, earnestly, "Honestly, if only Lily would give up teasing him and give in."
"If only James would give up his redundant ways to try and impress her."
"If only Lily wasn't such a stiff"
"If only James would be more mature."
"If only Lily would have a little fun for once!"
"If only James would stop having such an excess of fun."
"If only Lily wasn't so hopelessly in love with you."
"If only James wasn't so hopelessly in love with you."
"If only Peter wasn't so hopelessly in love with James."
"What does Peter have to do with any of this?"
"Nothing. Ah," said Sirius before sighing wistfully and then continuing, "young love."
I'm a bad person. Not only are my stories idle and heavily bad ramblings from an unorganised mind but I also tend to neglect updating them. Oh well. Anyways, I know in the previous chapter I said this was the final chapter, but the original version of it that I wrote, I happened to misplace so this is Chapter 11 Mark II and evidently not the final chapter. I am most apologetic and I'll do my darnedest not to wait an absolute eternity before remembering to update again. If however, you are a rather peculiar person who likes the not-quite cavalier and highly ridiculous drivel I spew forth, do of course feel free to go read&&review the two new one-shots I'm also uploading this evening. Wink. ;D