Title: Ten Things That Haven't Happened…
Author: Silence
Fandom: Superman Returns and Ohmygod! A Mary-Sue!
Rating: Brought to you by the letters M, or as I used to remember, R. (Mostly for language, and I don't think I was that bad this time.)
Pairing: It's certainly not Clois. Which is funny, because I'm a Clois shipper for all other versions of Superman. Huh. Go figure.
Spoilers: Of course there are spoilers for the movie. There are hints and nods toward previous fics too, but nothing really informative.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.
Summary: Ten moments in the life of a bitter Mary-Sue trapped in a reality she doesn't want to be in. Things happen.
Notes: First of all, the only reason I wrote this was because I had these nagging plot bunnies in my head that would not shut the hell up. I had to write them all down just to get some peace of mind. If you're actually sitting here reading this? I totally apologize for this. Really. This is the product of two days worth of random scenes popping in my head for no reason.
This fic may not make sense. I wrote it and I'm not sure if I understand it. It merely is what it is.
While it helps to have read the previous fics to understand Lacey, it's not really necessary. All you need to really know is that she is a very bitter Mary-Sue who gets thrown into these situations involving fandoms that she likes, without warning, for cryptic reasons, and she hates it all.

Previous Fics to this: (All can be found here)
Confessions of a Mary Sue (Finished)
The Goddess Must Be Crazy (Unfinished.. oops.)
The State of Denial & Delusions (WiP)

Oh, she hated this place. Lacey Voorhees, the Bitter Mary-Sue, had found herself stranded in Metropolis for the past three months and working as a secretary for Perry White. It was worse than her old job at Pizza Hut.

"Um, sorry." Thud. "Sorry!" Wham. "Sorry."

And she now knew that her life had just gotten worse. Clark Kent was making his clumsy return to the universe. That meant only one thing.

Another freakishly tall person in her personal space. Fuck.

As she silently poured her coffee, she watched as Clark spoke to Jimmy. Perry White chose that moment to make his presence known.

"Hey, Chief! Thanks for giving me my job back." Clark said with a grateful and a somewhat adorable yet geeky smile. Of course, that was after Perry asked Jimmy for photos about a homicidal clown thing.

"Don't thank me." Perry shouted back as he headed for his office. "Thank Norm Palmer for dying."

Lacey rolled her eyes as she headed back toward her desk. She was going to have to walk by Clark and Jimmy to get there. Joy. She noticed the stunned look on Clark's face as he glanced at Jimmy.

Jimmy tried to fix the awkward moment, but his comment didn't really help any. "Uh.. It was his time."

Moments like this could not be passed up on. Lacey was right next to them at this point, so she spoke up with a snort. "Only if you consider driving down the highway and being hit by a crashing helicopter 'his time'."

The pair turned to her with wide eyes. She could understand Clark's surprise; he didn't know her, but Jimmy? Poor wide eyed Jimmy. Three months should have taught him the rules of Lacey by now. Lacey sipped her coffee and kept her gaze on them. "Oh, and don't forget the mack truck that slammed into him afterward. They still haven't scraped all of him off the pavement."

Clark's big blue eyes were confused, as if he couldn't tell if she were joking or just being mean. "Um, isn't that a little harsh?"

"I wasn't the one flying the helicopter." Lacey said before resuming the trek to her desk.

Clark turned to Jimmy and swallowed. "Who was that?"

"That's the chief's secretary. She takes a bit of getting used to."