Warning: The quality of the first two sections is probably much lower than the rest of this will be. There is a lot of "rambling" by various people, but I guess people in horror movies ramble about things nobody cares about and this is a crossover with many horror movies. Most of the first two sections of this fanfic were written when I was half-asleep. The main premise doesn't actually start until the third section.
Zoids – Dimension Crisis
On a random street where everybody was trying to move out of the way, there was a green lion Zoid running down the street. This was a Slash Liger. Attached right in front of the Slash Liger's cockpit was the reason the pilot found it so urgent to run. This was only a peace of paper, but it had brought sleepless nights and untold terrors to those unlucky enough to receive one. To those few people brave enough to speak its name, it was called a parking ticket.
'This is the worst thing that's ever happened in my life!' The pilot, who was known as James, who was possibly one of the most skilled pilots of the Crusade Team, thought, 'The amount of money needed to pay for this, this thing, will be far more than I had ever imagined! This is worse than that time I got stuck on that time with Zoids that were blatantly, by far, inferior to my Liger!'
"Could you try to think more quietly?" A telepathic person demanded as the Slash Liger ran past him, almost trampling him to death.
'What the Hell was that?' James thought. Suddenly he heard other noises. A Gojulas Giga and two regular Gojulas were chasing him; they had police sirens attached to their backs, their noses, their tails, and one of the regular Gojulas had bulldozer blades attached to its feet. As people watched in pity it tripped over its own feet and crashed to the ground, landing on the tail of the second Gojulas, causing it to roar in agony and collapse. However, the Gojulas Giga wouldn't stop and kept chasing the Slash Liger.
"I don't know why you won't sign that, that thing, but you'll never escape from the police and the fact that we all use Gojulases or variants of them, for absolutely no reason when there's no reason not to use any other kind of Zoid!" The police officer in the Gojulas Giga shouted.
"Wait, does that mean that even police officers are scared of naming that thing?" James demanded, "And, why can't you use other kinds of Zoids that are not only cheaper and would decrease taxes, but would actually make it easier to catch criminals!"
"Maybe that's what you would think, Jervis, but from what some woman claimed that she heard that Jervis was the name of this criminal we're trying to find." The police officer stated.
"Well, given that my name is James I don't need to be concerned!" James shouted back.
"I still think it was you, you and your blue Zoid!" The police officer continued, "That woman saw a blue Zoid watching her house."
"Well, my Zoid is green!" James shouted back.
"The colour of your Zoid is not important, Jervis!" The police officer shouted, "Based on this evidence, I think you're Herbert!"
"Don't you mean, you think I'm the pervert that was outside that house?" James asked.
"Oh yeah, thanks." The officer replied, "Based on the evidence, I think you're the pervert!" James's brain tried to come up with a response…
"Don't worry brain, I'll handle this." James said to himself, before turning to the officer, "Yes… well... based on the evidence, I think you're the pervert!"
'Oh sure, that's going to work.' James thought to himself, when the Gojulas Giga stopped suddenly and turned back.
"Everyone, this crime has been solved; I've found that I am the pervert!" The police officer shouted, not realising what had happened.
"Good thing Jervis found that out!" The officer added.
"My name is James!" James responded angrily as his Liger sped out of sight. James then thought, 'Maybe when he realises that he isn't the criminal, he might actually find the pervert… whoever that is. Then again, he doesn't even know the colour of a Zoid that's right in from of him."
"James, what has happened?" The voice of Jake, who piloted the Crusade Team's Hover Cargo, asked through the radio systems.
"For some reason, a squadron of mental police officers believed that I was responsible for something that I can't remember what it was now." James replied, "Fortunately, they have left."
"I'm guessing it was related to that time when someone found a hole in their gigantic fence which was exactly the same size and shape as a Slash Liger." Jake replied, "Although, I'm surprised that hasn't been resolved by now."
"Actually, it was exactly the same size and shape of a Blade Liger." James pointed out, "It was that moron from the Decalto Team, Colin, I think his name is. Because we know nobody else in this city has a Blade Liger… except seventy other people."
"There can't be exactly seventy other people who have Blade Ligers." Jake said through the radio, "I've barely seen any Blade Ligers in this city and I don't think everyone with a Blade Liger would attempt to hide them."
"Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating and there's really about seven other people who have Blade Ligers." James said, "But, everywhere I go, there seem to be Blade Ligers… okay, actually I've only seen one outside of a battle twice."
"Somehow, I get the idea you're determined to exaggerate everything." Jake said, "But I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, that hole in the fence was exactly the same shape and size of a Slash Liger."
"Yes, but a Slash Liger couldn't have caused that hole because I have the only Slash Liger in the city." James replied, "And it was obvious that it was a Blade Liger that made that hole!"
"It must have been a Slash Liger." Jake tried to reason, "The hole in the fence was in the shape of something that had parts that Blade Ligers don't have, hence, it must have been a Slash Liger."
"Well, that is true." James agreed, "However, it was a Blade Liger with cardboard blades attached to its face. It's obvious because if you compared the hole in that wall to a Slash Liger, the blades on the head would be bent."
"I was wondering why a Slash Liger's blades would bend." Jake replied, "Anyway, we're supposed to be travelling to the bases of two other teams. We're supposed to transport them to…"
"I know." James said. James pressed a button and the communications were cut off. Immediately, James wondered why he cut the communications, since he was returning to the Hover Cargo anyway.
"Well, at least now I don't have to listen to any conversations about that time when I accidentally made my Slash Liger run through a giant fence." James said to himself, as the Slash Liger began to run again.
Not surprisingly, James was expecting to return to the Hover Cargo without anything happening in the process. However, the Slash Liger suddenly began to fall. Seconds later, James realised that he still seemed to be falling.
A random place that may or may not be near a forest-
Several people were standing around a tar pit. The reason they were standing around it was unknown, because it was a regular tar pit and nothing had fallen into it and sunk in decades.
Near that tar pit, a much smaller group of people stood, staring at another tar pit, which the Slash Liger had fallen into. By the time they had arrived, James was standing several meters away from the tar pit, so exactly how he escaped was unknown. But if he jumped off the top of the Slash Liger's head, then he probably would have still fallen into the tar pit and would have sunk by now, because nearly half of the Slash Liger was submerged.
"I don't understand. There's nothing here." One of the people standing around the first tar pit announced, "I know there's supposed to be something happening, but I don't know what it is."
"It's almost as if something is happening right now, and we can't quite understand what it is." Another of the people standing around the first tar pit said, "I don't know if we'll ever find out what happened."
"It's very strange, but we'll find out what's going on eventually." A third person standing around the tar pit realised, "We can't stand here forever and not find out what it is."
"I think the people over there are mental." One of the people standing around the second tar pit said, "They don't even realise that they're standing at the wrong tar pit even though that should be obvious."
"I think that Slash Liger isn't going to escape." Someone else standing near the second tar pit stated, "Once someone drove 10,000 Gojulases into the same tar pit and never found any of them."
"They drove 10,000 Gojulases into the same tar pit and never found any of them?" The first person asked, "Well, to be completely honest, I find that surprising. Were they the richest and most insane person on the planet?"
"Well, the fact is that they actually didn't drive them, they threw them. And they were action figures of Gojulases. And the person who threw them didn't throw ten thousand, they actually threw ten." The second person explained.
"I still don't understand why that would happen." The first person said, "I also don't know why they tried to find those Gojulases when there was essentially no chance of ever finding them."
"Well, it's because that person was me! And I'm going to find those action figures if it costs me my life!" The second person shouted, before diving into the tar pit. Several minutes passed and nobody surfaced.
"I don't think he was thinking clearly." James said, mostly to himself. James was trying to think of a way to prevent the Slash Liger from sinking without anyone realising that it was his Zoid.
"Well, now nobody can save the action figures." A random person said, "Not that anyone cares. But how is that Slash Liger going to avoid sinking into the tar pit? If it sinks, then it's possible that nobody could remove it."
"Yes, but if it sinks, then anything that sinks into that tar pit in the future won't be able to sink as deep, and some part of it may be left above the surface." The voice of the person who dived into the tar pit said.
"It's weird, we can hear someone's voice, but that person probably didn't have an air tank when they leapt into that tar pit and they've been there for too long to still be alive." James said.
"While you may think someone who just jumped into a tar pit probably didn't have an air tank when they leapt into that tar pit and they've been there for too long to still be alive, this is only a recording!" A tape recorder said.
"Why would anyone make a recording of themselves saying things and then jump into a tar pit and kill themselves?" One of the people staring at the first tar pit asked, surprised.
"Well, I can't really be sure." Another of the people at the first tar pit said, "But since I didn't actually see anything happening, I'll just imagine that they didn't kill themselves."
"That is a good idea." Yet another of the people staring at the wrong tar pit said, "But now that we know we're assuming they didn't kill themselves, what will happen now?"
"I think those people are crazy." James said, "Although, whoever the pilot of that Slash Liger is, I don't know why he's leaving his Slash Liger to sink into the tar pit and never be found."
"Yes, that is very strange." The tape recording said, "But unless someone kicks over this tape recorder, which is never going to happen, I will continue to talk as if I'm alive and not just a tape recorder."
"Whoever recorded that must have been able to see into the future." James stated, "But then he would know that he was going to kill himself and not dive into a tar pit. This situation doesn't make sense."
"I understand what's going on." One of the people near James said, "Well actually that's a lie, I have no idea… wait, aren't you the only person in this city who has a Slash Liger?"
"I think it's obvious that I'm not." James said, "I wouldn't just leave my Slash Liger to sink into a tar pit, leaving only its head submerged above the top of the tar pit, like it is now."
"I think he is the pilot of the only Slash Liger in this city!" Yet another person staring at the wrong tar pit said, "But isn't it strange that the Slash Liger I'm not looking at isn't sinking anymore?"
"By the time I reach this point, the Slash Liger will have fallen on the remains of the person who made this tape, which happen to be exactly big enough to prevent the Slash Liger's head from submerging." The tape recording said.
"There's something very strange happening." One of the other people staring at the second tar pit realised, "Why couldn't he just contact the Slash Liger's pilot if he knew this would happen?"
"It's true that if he contacted me, none of this would have happened. I could have just not run into a tar pit." James said, accidentally admitting that he was the Slash Liger's pilot.
"There is a very good reason for this series of events!" The voice on the tape recording said, "See, there's a reason I killed myself, and that reason is…" The recorder ran out of tape.
"That's definitely very random." James stated. "But, I think someone should probably inform the police of the strange events that happened here, or that Slash Liger will stay in the tar pit forever."
A random place that may or may not be near a forest, later-
After several minutes, two Gordos and a Geno Saurer had arrived. These had been sent to retrieve the Slash Liger that had fallen into the tar pit, but there was no mention of anything else.
"Wait, you're only here to get a kind of weird metal lion thing out of the tar pit?" One of the people who had been watching the wrong tar pit asked, 2But what about the action figures?"
"Well see, that's part of the problem, the police aren't supposed to look for action figures, and to be honest, even if we were, we still wouldn't, because action figures are badly-made." The first Gordos pilot said.
"Aside from which, action figures are kind of pointless. Well they are made of plastic, which is something of a disadvantage but to make things worse for them they're also rubbish." The second Gordos pilot said.
"Although I want my Slash Liger taken out of that tar pit, don't you think that's harsh considering someone died trying to find those action figures?" James asked, 2At least you could locate his body."
"Well, I'm very sorry that you think we're wasting our time, but if you suggest we're wasting our time again, maybe we won't even bother to rescue that Slash Liger!" The first Gordos pilot shouted.
"These two are the worst new officers we've ever had." The Geno Saurer pilot announced, "I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused by their arrogant stupidity but…"
"We're stupidly arrogant? But you look down on us!" The first Gordos pilot shouted, "Maybe we're not good enough for the police force and we should just leave and stop irritating people!"
"Yes, maybe we should just leave in the middle of an assignment!" The second Gordos pilot shouted, "I bet that would really strike you as stupid and arrogant. Then what will happen?"
"Well, firstly, you would be fired." The Geno Saurer pilot said, "And not in the normal way either. I mean I would set you on fire, fire you out of a cannon, and fire my Geno Saur's cannons at you."
"I think you're trying too hard to be threatening." The second Gordos pilot said, "I mean, I know you're our commanding officer, but why are you always giving us commands?"
"Could you move the Slash Liger now?" James asked, "I know you're eagerly talking about nothing, but if the corpse of that dead guy is crushed nobody will be able to save my Slash Liger!"
"Well, I guess you have a point there." The commanding officer said, "Okay everyone, how exactly are we supposed to move a Slash Liger out of that tar pit? I can't reach it."
"Well, we haven't had a situation like this before, but maybe our Gordos could pull the Geno Saurer back while it uses its extending claws to hold onto the Slash Liger. It works well because we were planning to trip your Geno Saurer over, so our Zoids' tails are already wrapped around the Geno Saurer's feet."
"That might actually work, assuming we leave out the tripping over part." The commanding officer said.
A random place that may or may not be near a forest, later-
After several minutes, the Slash Liger had, unsurprisingly, been removed from the tar pit. Most of the people had left, including many people who had been staring at the wrong tar pit the whole time.
"I still think that person shouldn't have jumped into a tar pit." One of the few people standing around the tar pit said, "Just because he lost some action figures, wasn't a good reason for killing himself."
"I don't think he should have killed himself at all." The pilot of the second Gordos said, "But can we move on from this. It's just insane and we'll never know why he killed himself."
"I know, the tape ran out of tape." The pilot of the first Gordos said, "If this continues, we'll be the worst cops in history. Honestly, this is the first thing we've done right."
"I don't think we're doing things right at all." The pilot of the second Gordos said, "There's a guy who just killed himself… or herself... this thing, I think it's called a "script", doesn't specify."
"Well that's an interesting thing. It looks like a bunch of pieces of paper stapled together. But since I'm too lazy to exit this cockpit I won't be able to see it more clearly." The pilot of the first Gordos said.
"Well, that may be a problem, but I think you should see this thing at some time. It's almost as if it's predicting the future or something. We should have this thing analyzed." The pilot of the second Gordos said.
"Maybe it's possessed by the ghost of something, like a penguin or a poodle. We have to find the answer!" The pilot of the first Gordos shouted. Two Gordos turned around and ran away.
"Those have to be the stupidest cops I've ever seen." The one person who was still staring at the wrong tar pit announced, "I don't know what's going on, but there's a lot of stupidity about."
"Well, I don't see this happening often, or at least, not once I find some competent people to be police officers." The sheriff, who was the pilot of the Geno Saurer, tried to explain.
"Well, I guess I shouldn't stand here, if I hadn't made this Slash Liger run into a tar pit then none of this would have happened. Not that very much actually happened." James said.
"Although there has been a lot of chaos caused by this weirdness, I think we should probably forget this, well, once we recover that person who leapt into the tar pit and is hopefully still alive." The sheriff replied.
"Well, I guess nothing much happens around here, but we've already recovered seven of those ten action figures of Gojulases. Whatever they're supposed to be worth." One of the people in the shrinking crowd said.
"They could be the answer to finding out why that person leapt into a tar pit." James said, "But, as I said before, I should probably leave here now, before something stupidly insane happens!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, because I haven't seen anything happening!" The one remaining person staring at the wrong tar pit shouted. The Slash Liger ran away from the area, but as it ran a snail overtook it.
A random base-
"We have an urgently important mission." The leader of a squadron of ZBC pilots announced, "It seems that this mysterious bunker, is in reality something that has an unknown purpose."
"Is it really that important?" Gordon, the pilot of a Mad Thunder, asked, "Is it a bunker that contains dynamite? Because if we blew that up, it wouldn't remain mysterious for very long."
"Why would I send someone to blow up that bunker if there was dynamite in it?" The Sergeant demanded, "At any rate, it contains something vitally important… well, something it's vitally important that we blow up."
"Is it something that causes Tomy, Hasbro and other companies to release recolours of Zoids at the start of every production line?" Gordon asked, "Then if we blew it up, we won't have to face a million Shield Liger and Konig Wolf recolours."
"That would be very useful, but no." The Sergeant said, "Anyway, since you're too eager to blow up Command wolves and Blade Ligers-"
"It was Konig Wolves and Shield Ligers." Gordon interrupted.
"Well anyway, it's stupid." The Sergeant replied.
"Did that even make sense?" A soldier known as Karl asked.
"No, but anyway, we need to prepare to attack the bunker with everything we have. Carl, prepare to attack!" The Sergeant said.
"At once." Karl replied.
"Not you, someone called Carl!" The Sergeant shouted!
"But I am Karl!" Karl said.
"I think he means me!" A soldier called Carl stated.
"Why couldn't we attach dynamite to it and blast it apart?" Gordon asked, wondering why they couldn't just destroy the bunker already.
"We tried that once." Carl stated, "But then a few Cannon Tortoises chased us. Well, the kind of staggered towards us. We weren't sure if they were doing it to be intimidating or because it was the fastest they could move. Anyway, thinking that their purpose was to guard the bunker, we had to leave it at once, in order to save our own lives. I don't even remember if we left the dynamite attached to it or not, it's so confusing. Everything happened in a rush, well actually, rather slowly."
"I'm not surprised." Karl said, "Well anyway, I don't see why we have to get chased by Cannon Tortoises."
"Right. This is going nowhere. There are two people called Carl... well, Carl and Karl, and I need to…" The Sergeant said.
"Why can't we be on this mission?" Carl asked.
"There's no chance we'd fail!" Karl shouted.
"Because it confuses me too much. Anyway, we need to find a way to blow it up before the CBZ." The Sergeant announced, "For one thing, if the CBZ destroys the bunker, then they'll have destroyed the dark secrets it holds, which, it's rumoured, involves an Arosaurer in some way. Well, an Arosaurer and a Death Stinger, if that makes any sense."
"It doesn't." Gordon announced, "Anyway, why am I a rank-and-file soldier? We all know that my Mad Thunder could destroy an army of Godos and Iguans and even a flying army of Pteras."
"Well, for one, that overconfidence." The sergeant announced, "But since I'm gradually eliminating everyone here from having any chance of destroying the bunker, I'll just ask if one of the elite soldiers can blast it instead."
"Good-" Carl began.
"If you say, 'Good idea, sir; you're fired!" The Sergeant shouted.
"I understand." Karl said.
The Crusade Team's Hover Cargo-
James and his Slash Liger had finally entered the hover Cargo, despite the Slash Liger moving exceptionally slowly. The rest of the Crusade Team consisted of Jake, the pilot of the Crusade Team's transport, Deirdre, the flight expert on the Crusade team, Nick, who was a field medic, Lauren, who was an engineering expert, Cheryl, who was a weapons expert for the Crusade Team, Ted, who was a strategist, and Randy, who… well, they had heard it was possible to transport seven Zoids on a Hover Cargo, and in order to find out if it was really true, they had had to get another pilot to join their team. Not surprisingly, they had ended up with possibly the worst Zoid pilot in history.
The Slash Liger had entered a transportation section in the Hover Cargo's head. Next to the Slash Liger was the Giga Gojulas, which was piloted by Lauren. At the back of the Hover Cargo was another transportation area, where Deirdre's Jet Falcon, Randy's Killer Dome, Nick's Gylvader and Cheryl's Snipe Liger were transported. Ted and his Dark Spiner had left some time ago, but because the Hover Cargo didn't have the ability to transport seven Zoids, one Zoid would have to stand on the launch ramp at all times. Not surprisingly, this was something that annoyed most of the Crusade Team. If Jake had never tried to find a way to transport seven Zoids this would never have happened.
James again climbed out of the Slash Liger cockpit. Although he wasn't entirely certain why he had to return to the Hover Cargo, he was certain he would find out once he entered one of the room not used for transportation.
James opened a door and left the transportation room, after which he found himself on the Hover Cargo's neck. Despite using the head to transport the Slash Liger since the Crusade Team formed, James knew he was unlikely to ever think of this as 'normal'.
Shortly afterwards, James entered the main section of the Hover Cargo. Eventually, he reached what was generally considered to be the 'command room', which was not the Hover Cargo's cockpit, because the cockpit was too small to transport eight people. Despite various events that had happened since the Crusade Team formed, nobody had ever been able to convince Jake to replace his Hover Cargo with something designed to transport more people.
"James has finally returned." Nick said immediately, "Now we have to explain everything again. I don't know why, but Jake couldn't wait for everyone to return to the Hover Cargo."
"I don't have to wait for everyone to arrive." Jake said, "Considering that over half of our team leave the Hover Cargo as often as possible, I don't have a problem with explaining everything repeatedly."
"Which wouldn't be a problem, except that you decided everyone needs to stay here until you've finished explaining, which won't actually happen since not everyone has returned." Lauren replied.
"Well, there's one problem." Jake announced, "Before I explain what's going on, I think I should show you something very strange that happened in a recent battle." James then turned on a TV set.
Three Gun Snipers shot at a Lightning Saix until it toppled over, considering that it was missing the legs on the right side. At this point, a Shield Liger was in sight, and was slowly trying to advanced out of sight. Not that it mattered, because another shot struck the Shield Liger's rear end, taking it out of action.
"Well, at least my Slash Liger didn't ever get taken out in a humiliating way like that." James said confidently.
"What about that time when you tried to run and a Red Horn shoved impaled your Liger's rear end with its horn?" Lauren asked. James couldn't think of an answer.
"I guess the Gun Sniper team are almost unstoppable when they focus on something." Cheryl pointed out, as a Gun Sniper blasted a Dibison, which crashed onto its side, also out of the battle.
"And they still haven't won yet?" Jake asked, "They took out the Lightning Saix, Shield Liger and Dibison without taking any damage."
"Apparently not." Randy replied, trying to remember the other two Zoids "There's two of the opposing Zoids left, some Brachio… thing… and…"
"I think the other was called Missile Tortoise or something." Deirdre said, "It's not that easy to remember when they're losing this badly."
Suddenly, the two Zoids came into sight. The Missile Tortoise launched itself into the air, retracting into its shell in the process, before connecting to the back of the other Zoid, Brachiozilla. The huge shell sat on the Zoid's back, but the large centrally-placed missile launcher on the Missile Tortoise was still visible, along with other weapons. A Gun Sniper had already deployed its giant sniper rifle, and fired. The shot hit the side of the Brachiozilla, only knocking the Zoid to the side. The Missile Tortoise fired everything it had as it flew through the air, blasted the Gun Sniper and it collapsed, with pieces of itself lying several meters away.
"I think something's wrong here." Jake said, as the Missile Tortoise continued to be sent flying through the air and began to somehow roll in midair. The huge shell on its back hit the Brachiozilla's head and it collapsed. A second later another shot tore through the Missile Tortoise's butt. Then a fake and obviously cardboard Death Saurer jumped up and down on the two Zoids. A Raynos flew over the battlefield, a giant megaphone attached next to the cockpit
"This battle has ended…the loser is the Brachio-" The person onboard the Raynos began.
"We're not the Brachio Team, we're the-" The Shield Liger pilot interrupted.
"The losers are the Brachio Team!" The man on the Raynos shouted sternly. Then Lauren turned off the screen.
"What happened to announcing the winners instead of the losers?" Jake asked.
"Does it occur to you, that if we could combine our Zoids, we could actually win instead of getting beaten by mediocre teams with pilots nobody can remember the names of?" Lauren asked, "I'm not an expert on fusing Zoids, but the Killer Dome and the Jet Falcon-".
"We don't get beaten that often, we have almost a 50/50 record against mediocre teams with pilots nobody can remember the names of." James replied, "Anyway, our efforts would end up the same way as that other team."
Elsewhere in the city-
While Jake wasn't informing James of something that was supposed to be happening, and some military people weren't blowing up a bunker that was only guarded by cannon tortoises, Ted, the strategist and Dark Spiner pilot for the Crusade Team was using the Dark Spiner to speed up and down a road for no reason, except for possibly the fact that there were already too many people in the Hover Cargo. However, nobody else had noticed this.
"We know you're pointlessly sitting in the cockpit of the Dark Spiner!" The voice of one of the ZBC commanding officers shouted, "There's a bunker that has to be destroyed, so leave immediately!"
"Well, I am in the cockpit of a Dark Spiner, but I think you're contacting the wrong Dark Spiner." Ted replied, "This is some idiot with a Dark Spiner, not someone who uses a Dark Spiner to blast bunkers into oblivion."
"We can't possibly have contacted the wrong Dark Spiner!" The officer shouted, "It only requires you to walk in a more-or-less straight line until you find the bunker and destroy it with the Charged Particle Gun."
"I think he's trying to contact me." Another voice said through the radio system, "Although, I wasn't expecting this, because once anyone becomes a veteran officer of the ZBC, they are mostly left alone, because people just assume that they are an awesome Zoid pilot and usually that's it. Unfortunately, occasionally the highest-ranking members of the ZBC would send veteran soldiers on missions. I'm only really a veteran soldier because some time ago, my Spinosapper began to evolve. Understandably, most people who are in the same ZBC unit as me are angry that I was promoted for something I didn't have any real connection to. When my Spinosapper began to evolve, a Shield Liger had been able to escape from it and attack other ZBC Zoids. The reason it had been attacking ZBC Zoids was because it was part of the CBZ, which has been trying to become the authority on Zoid battles for years. They never gave up, even though they never succeeded."
'Amazing, these crazy people are somehow having a conversation through my Dark Spiner's communications system.' Ted thought. Before anything else could happen, the communication system turned off.
'At least there won't be any idiots trying to communicate through my radio systems now. The ZBC seems to be getting more incompetent every year.' Ted thought, although he thought the radio could still activate again.
"Something that's supposed to be remotely important is happening." Randy suddenly reported through the radio system, "But Jake is insisting that everyone needs to be at the Hover Cargo."
"Why is Jake insisting that everyone needs to be there, when James is in command of the Crusade Team?" Ted asked, "The Dark Spiner has communications systems, so it's not really necessary."
"Yes, but for some reason, apparently everyone must return to the Hover Cargo." Randy announced, "Not that I really understand why. Now that I think of it, there should be an actual reason."
"I already know what's supposed to be happening. Everyone except Jake has known about this for weeks now." Ted stated, "The Dark Spiner is closer to the location now that it would be if it returned to the Hover Cargo."
Crusade Team Hover Cargo-
"The Dark Spiner is already positioned closer to the first location than the Hover Cargo." Randy reported, "There's no reason for Ted to return to the Hover Cargo now."
"Well anyway, the most important thing, well, that's happening soon anyway, is a series of battles, but they're different from the regular battles. Firstly, this only actually happens-"
"Every four years." Deirdre finished, "Anyway, we've already known about this for some time. James actually found a way to enter the Crusade Team in that one event where there's five teams."
"It would probably be more convenient for the ZBC if fewer teams were in more battles, but, for some reason thy decided to give many teams that opportunity to be involved in the… er, weird thing." Nick pointed out.
"Maybe the ZBC are getting more incompetent constantly." Lauren suggested, "But since we all already knew why we've been called back to the Hover Cargo, what is the point in calling everyone back to the Hover Cargo?"
"Well, it's not just the fact that we're part of some random battle in this weird event thing. Even though we should be leaving the city soon, there's something else that's important." Jake said.
"Is it that the ZBC have become completely idiotic and decided that the battles will be held inside an active volcano?" Randy asked, "From what's happened so far, I wouldn't be surprised."
Suddenly, a strange device began glowing. This machine was larger than four fridges, and Nick had for some reason ordered this device from a company, but he didn't tell anyone what the purpose of the device was. Nick suddenly ran out of the room. Everyone followed him to a window.
"Interesting, it turns out to be this day that they finally arrive." Nick stated, seeing a giant box outside the Hover Cargo.
"It turns out to be this day that what arrives?" Randy asked, before noticing the giant box. It suddenly fell apart, and inside the box, was the less-than-amazing sight of three large crates.
"Don't you remember? These were ordered somewhere between six and eight weeks ago." Nick explained, "The Evo Flyer, the Dimetroptera and the Leogator. But since these just happened to arrive on this day, we can win."
"I think I must have been asleep at that point." Jake replied, "Did we even order these or did some random person decide he had too many Zoids?"
"Do we even have the money for these?" Lauren asked.
"Honestly, I don't remember." Nick replied, "But that isn't important. These also have additional control systems that can be used with our Zoids, allowing us to control these and out regular Zoids."
"I really think it's important to know if we actually have enough money for these." James said, "Incidentally, since we probably don't, how could you have order those things?"
"More importantly, what good is it if there's three Zoids in large crates?" Jake asked, "Aside from putting them in that room where a Matrix Dragon is also in a crate, there doesn't seem to be any point."
"We have a Matrix Dragon?" Cheryl asked, surprised, "Don't you realise how that could help us? If we knew we had a Matrix Dragon we could have won against a lot more teams that we really have!"
"Well, it could have helped us, but since there wasn't really any proof that it would help, I thought it was best if we just assumed that it didn't exist to begin with." Jake said.
"Wait, I still don't understand." James said, confused, "Apparently we've had a Matrix Dragon this whole time? When did we get a Matrix Dragon, and why didn't anyone notice?"
"We got a Matrix Dragon at about the time everyone in our team mysteriously realised that they had no money." Jake tried to explain, "Nobody noticed because I put it in a secret storage area."
"A secret storage area? When did we have one of them?" Randy asked, before suddenly realising, "I understand, we didn't know we had one, because it was supposed to be secret."
"Exactly." Jake said, "So now that everyone understands the situation, nobody has any reason to be annoyed by the fact that I secretly used everyone's money to buy that Matrix Dragon."
"Okay, so, random crap about a Matrix Dragon aside, what is this thing we supposedly don't know about?" Deirdre asked, "There's been constant interruptions since you began to explain it."
"Incidentally, I guess there have." Jake said, "Well, basically, we're supposed to be transporting the Artillery Team and the Justice Team to this area, because they're also part of a battle."
"Why are those teams in a battle?" Randy asked, "They're possibly the worst teams in history. Only if I joined one of those teams, would they truly be the worst team ever to exist."
"Wait, why are you calling yourself one of the worst Zoid pilots ever?" Lauren asked, "Well maybe you're not the best Zoid pilot ever, but it's also noticeable that, at least you're trying to…"
"I checked the 'official Zoid pilot rankings'." Randy announced, "It turns out that I'm right at the bottom, even below a bunch of people who have been dead for the last few centuries."
"But those listings are at least seven years old." Lauren said, "The new listings show that… well honestly, they show that nothing has changed at all within the last seven years."
"It's almost as if we're stuck in some kind of cartoon world." Jake realised, "If this continues, nothing remotely surprising will actually happen to anyone on this planet ever in their lives!"
"That would be unfortunate, but at least we would know exactly what was going to happen in the future." Deirdre reasoned, "Then, everyone would always win the lottery until it went out of business."
"Yes, but after it went out of business nobody would be able to gain any money from it." Nick said, "And everyone would have large amounts of money, and everything would be like it is now, but on a bigger scale."
"At any rate, we have to leave now, otherwise people will be wondering why three teams didn't show up during the battles they were supposed to be in." Jake pointed out, as he walked out of the 'command room'.
Justice Team HQ-
The Crusade Team, except for Ted, entered the Justice Team HQ. The Justice Team had, obviously, been expecting them, which was why they could enter the base so quickly. The Justice Team watched one of their previous defeats on a tape.
"Why were you going to fire a Charged Particle Beam with one leg damaged that badly?" Deirdre asked, as she climbed out of the Jet Falcon cockpit, "Didn't you realise what would happen?"
"I thought, if I had to lose anyway, I should try to cause some significant damage to the opposing team." Dennis the leader of the team, said, "The Tyrant Team hasn't lost since… well, since it was formed, since it was formed when I was first given the Storm Tyrant."
"Wait… the Tyrant Team? I thought you were the Justice Team." Randy said, "I know I've made some mistakes before, but there's no way there isn't something strange going on."
"We changed the name of the team once I got this Storm Tyrant." Dennis explained, "That's basically the whole story."
"But why did you get a Storm Tyrant?" Lauren asked, "And why aren't you the Justice Team anymore?"
"We were the Justice Team, and we won very frequently." Dennis explained, "However, although we didn't lose very often, it still happened. But when I was given the Storm Tyrant, we went from winning seven in ten battles to winning every battle... until this battle."
"That seems weird." James asked as he approached, "So you were already some of the best pilots around, but you needed another powerful Zoid to be victorious constantly?"
"I guess eventually we would have been winning almost every battle even without the Storm Tyrant." Dennis replied, "The Storm Tyrant enabled us to reach that point considerably faster."
"And although one team will eventually beat us, that would only happen because we would get bored of fighting hundreds of teams with stupid pilots, and eventually have no choice but to forfeit." Frank, another Tyrant Team member added, as he walked into the room.
"I think they're slightly overconfident." Nick said quietly, hoping nobody from the 'Justice' Team would hear.
"Well they have managed to defeat a lot of teams." James said, while watching a report that showed a list of all the battles the 'Justice' Team had won, "But wait, didn't you just lose in that video?"
"That was our most recent battle." Frank said, "We lost once, but that's no big problem. Soon we'll be crushing all competition, and that will continue when this weird event starts."
"Aren't we supposed to be leaving by now?" Helen, another of the 'Justice' team pilots asked, "Our Zoids are already being transported by a Whale King, although they're transporting many Zoids."
"At least the Hover Cargo doesn't have to carry anything else." Cheryl said, "We probably should be leaving now, but we still have to go to the base of the Artillery Team."
Artillery Team HQ-
The Artillery Team, consisting of Claire, Matt, Mark and Mike were waiting for the Hover Cargo to arrive. After several minutes it had arrived, and by this point the Dark Spiner had entered the Hover Cargo's main transportation area.
The Artillery Team's Zoids, which happened to be a Deadborder, a Red Horn, a Dark Horn and a Green Horn, had apparently vanished, as the Artillery Team's Zoids could normally be seen from most windows of the HQ.
"I'm guessing their Zoids are also being transported by that Whale King." Jake realised, as he and most of the other Crusade Team members and Dennis entered the Artillery Team HQ.
"I don't know who whey were, but some random team decided to transport the Zoids of everyone else they could find that was going to that event." Mike announced as he approached the Crusade Team.
"Actually, I think they called themselves the Phoenix Team." Dennis said, "Incidentally, they transported the Zoids from our team. They were transporting the Zoids of other teams."
"For these battles, they don't want people retreating to their transports." Matt explained, "So since we can't use the transport, it's better for one carrier to carry the Zoids of many teams."
"It's strange how Whale Kings are used a lot, but barely anyone is ever going to find a way to use even half of the transportation space on a Whale King." Mike realised, "I guess someone finally is."
"I still don't understand the point of this whole thing." Randy stated, "I know it's supposed to be important and happens every four years, but really, I don't see the point of it."
"Haven't you ever wondered why nobody on this whole planet seems to have much of a life unless it revolves around battles between Zoids?" James asked, "Well, this is supposed to make people more interested."
"So basically it's just to prevent anyone from having a life that doesn't revolve around the ZBC and its pointless events and tournaments?" Randy asked, "I guess it's necessary, otherwise…"
"I don't think I've seen someone fail to finish a sentence before." Lauren said, after everyone waited for two minutes, "But essentially, yes, otherwise nobody would care about these things."
"I was wondering why barely anyone on this planet has a real job." Mark said, "But anyway, despite that we're wasting our lives, shouldn't we be leaving this pointless and badly-maintained HQ now?"
"I guess we probably should." Jake said, "But unfortunately, I found a mysterious book. Well actually it was a few pieces of paper stuck together. It called itself a 'script' and told me to keep rambling on."
"I understand, but we really should be moving by now." Deirdre said, "Well, at any rate, we should soon, after this sentence, not that this sentence serves any real purpose."
"Yes, this is a very strange incident." Mark said, "But at any rate, we should probably be leaving, since I saw one of those 'script' things and it said we should actually be involved in the battles."
Battle arena-type place
The various teams had shortly arrived at the area where the strange battles were supposed to begin. Many other teams had also arrived here, despite the fact that they were only in one battle.
"It's very strange that people travel so far just to appear in one battle." Nick said, "I don't think this is going to happen again… but then, it probably will, since a lot of people get bored easily."
"I don't see how it would help people who get bored easily." Cheryl replied, "It only happens every four years, so therefore those people would still be bored most of the time."
"Yes, but some people are insane." James stated, "They'll continue trying to claim these battles actually help people by giving them entertainment. But I don't think anyone finds these events entertaining."
"It's slightly better than those stupid reality TV shows that are constantly taking up practically the entire TV schedule." Randy added, "But I still don't think these events are that great."
"It might be better if they were actually different than Zoid battles… well more than they actually are, anyway." Deirdre said, "They could have events involving Zoids pilots doing something other than fighting."
"Yes, but that would require the ZBC to actually be able to consider something other than fighting." Cheryl realised, "If the CBZ took over, then they might be better at running things."
"Yes, but the CBZ don't necessarily exist." Randy pointed out, "They could just be something the ZBC "invented" to try to make people think things could be much worse than they are now."
"Unfortunately, if the CBZ do exist, they could be much better at running things." Nick realised, "Although, somehow I get the idea that we'll never know if they really exist."
"Although, the B stands for Battling, while the B in ZBC stands for Battle." Jake reasoned, "So if the CBZ really exist, even if they took over I don't think there would be any 'events' except battles."
"I guess that's true." Lauren stated, "So basically, regardless of what happens, the organisations in charge of this will continue to ensure that everything 'revolves' around battles."
"I don't see why they have to." Nick replied, "So far, there's been many people in history who decided to fight each other. There's enough violence without people punching the crap out of each other."
"I don't remember anyone 'punching the crap out of me' during a Zoid battle." James tried to reason, "But I guess you have the right idea. But we're already here, so there's no point in leaving."
"Well, there may be no point in leaving." Randy said, "But I think, after this tournament, it's probably time for me to find a real job. Hopefully, that shouldn't be a problem."
"Yes, but where are you going to find a real job?" James asked. Randy turned away, depressed because he couldn't think of an answer. Someone ran into a parked car and one of the doors fell off.