You ever say you're going to write a long story and a silly little one-shot wormed its way in? That's what happened here. I'm trying to write a mystery/supernatural story and BOOM! Wrong epiphany. Oy. I hope it's not too "parthetic" to borrow livinglife's word. That's from her story "Seeing Double." It's pretty good; definitely worth looking into. I love that word. But anyway, enough of my talk. On with the show!

Disclaimer: Not mine, so don't sue if you break a gut laughing, or hurt yourself trying to hurt me. Depends on your sense of humor, I guess. I only own the characters I created to make this story funny.

Summery: Vlad is going though an old photograph album when, duh, he makes a startling discovery. Pure humor, not real (thank God; you'll see why.)

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Vlad hummed to himself happily. His latest plan to get Maddie was going according to plan. Now all he had to do was wait. He decided to visit his library. The only times he had seemed to visit it were to go to his lab. But now, he just wanted to lean back and relax with a good book, maybe Romance for Rich, Creepy Dimwits. If he could find it, that is. Ever since Maddie's visit when he had shorted out Daniel's powers, he could not find that book.

He sighed. Daniel probably took it with him to destroy. Or get a kick out of it. Or both. He entered his library and started to look around. An old, leather-bound book on a rather high shelf got his attention. He floated up to it, retrieved it, and sat down in one of the many soft chairs that dotted the library. He opened it up to the first page, and in tiny, dulled writing, it said, The Masters Family Tree.

Vlad was surprised. He had never had any inclination before to read it, but now he felt like he needed to. He carefully turned the page. Jim and Dora Masters, the first known Masters read the caption. The picture was dated 1796. Vlad noticed that Jim Masters looked a lot like him. Matter of fact, Vlad probably could have replaced the man and no one would know the difference.

He read through the book for the next hour. Everything was fine until he reached a page labeled Jasmine's Wedding Day, May 1, 1873. He looked closer and saw something strange. It said she was marrying a Christopher Fenton.

Fenton? he thought. Now why on earth–? He froze suddenly and turned another page.

Jasmine's First Baby, June 10, 1875, it read. If Vlad squinted, then she looked a whole lot like the Jasmine Fenton he knew today.

The baby was named David Christopher Fenton. A flashback suddenly occurred to Vlad.

- Flashback -

"Now, Jack, be careful with that recipe. You could hurt someone if it blew up," said a twenty-year-old Vlad.

"Naw, V-man! My Great-Grandpa David made this up. Came in real handy in the Old West," said Jack, dumping in several different ingredients for the stew he was making.

- End Flashback –

Vlad flipped though the next few pages furiously. His mother had evidentially been quite keen on keeping the tree up to date. He managed to make out his mother's scribble.

Brent David Fenton, Born 8/13/1911

By now Vlad was nearing a particularly interesting shade of white. He read the next date.

Donald Brent Fenton, Born 5/06/1943

This was not good. If it were possible, Vlad would've been so white he was blinding. He prayed to God the next entry wouldn't be true. He dared to look.

Jack Donald Fenton, Born 3/21/1969

Vlad stared in shock at the book. That date. That's Jack's birthday. He felt sick to his stomach. That was the last entry into the book on the Fenton side of the family. His mother had died in 1977, and Vlad had not bothered to carry on the family tradition.

But that meant Jack was his… He counted on his fingers to make sure he was right. Fifth cousin. And young Daniel was… He wasn't sure on this one. His fifth cousin once removed?

He couldn't help it. He screamed. And then he fainted.

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In Amity Park, a certain ghost-powered teenager was just capping the lid on his Fenton thermos when he heard a faint scream. His two friends looked at each other.

"Did you guys hear that?" Danny asked.

They nodded. Sam said, "It was probably just the wind going through the trees."

"Could've fooled me," muttered Tucker.

"Come on, guys, let's get home before it gets any later." And they left.

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Me: Okay, that was really weird, but then again, so am I.

Mariyh: If you liked it and you know it, press the button. (claps hands) If you liked and you know it, press the button. (claps hands) If you liked it and you know it, then your face will surely show it…

Cassi: Oh, somebody shut her up now; she's on a caffeine high.

Me: Uh, R&R whether you liked it or hated it, please. I always welcome feedback, but no cussing on flames. Oh, and does anyone know how you post a story in a new section? There are no Cat Crimes fanfics in the books section, and I'm wondering how I'll post it. Help? (Looks for earplugs.) See you around.