Tonight I Want to Cry

By GoddessGirl123

Full Summary: Lily leaves James after 3 years of dating because she thinks he doesn't care about her. They had been renting out an apartment together when Lily left. One night she discovers she left something at the apartment. When she gets there she hears something...

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It was Tuesday evening in muggle London as Lily Evans slowly filled in some more forms for work. Not too long ago, Lily would have been enjoying a fire whiskey with James Potter but tonight was different. Lily shook her head. She couldn't think about him, he always brought tears to her eyes when thoughts of him invaded her mind and she had work to do, these Auror forms needed to be filled in and handed in tomorrow. Lily worked as the secretary in the Auror Department of the Ministry of Magic.

Though Lily doubt she would work there much longer. James worked as an Auror, a dangerous job, in the Auror Department so it was very tense when ever they passed or saw each other. She hadn't seen a single tear on his face; just a hard could expression that didn't seem to change. Surely this meant he didn't care that she had left?

Lily continued to fill in the papers, McLaggon hasn't turned in his paper work yet, Shelters hasn't been in office for a few days, and I'll have to go and pick up Smith's mail tomorrow and deliver it to Moody...Suddenly she noticed she needed to go through Derrick Lexonburg's records because he had been suspected of being controlled by the Imperius Curse. She slid out of her chair and moved away from the tiny kitchen table and into her home office. Filing cabinets lined the walls, each labeled with what names were in it. Lily moved through the room until she found the L-O cabinet. It was completely empty.

"Damn, I must have forgotten to unpack those records..." Lily muttered in frustration as she moved into the living room which was filled with boxes. She moved in between the piles of boxes, reading and rereading each label. None of them were the correct one.

"Oh, shit, I must have left at James'..." She sighed and quickly apparated into James' house. She would have normally apparated outside and knocked on the door, but she wanted to avoid James and there was a better chance of doing this if she simply apparated inside and hoped he was either out or in a different room. It had been only a week since she stood in this room, and it looked completely different.

She looked around the living room. The muggle TV that she had bought James for Christmas was on, though the sound was down to about 10. There were wine bottles all over the place and so where bits of parchment with scribbles on them, broken quills, and empty cracked ink bottles. Lily shook her head and quickly and quietly moved up stairs where she heard a piano being played from behind a door. James loved to play the piano, he wrote his own songs, composed his own music, and sang all of his own lyrics.

She quickly moved past the door and into the room next to it, the office. It barely had anything in it now since Lily was the one who really used the office not James. A few empty shelves, a bare desk, and a few boxes stood in the corner labeled 'File L, File M, File N, and File O'. She quickly shrunk the boxes and placed them in her purse. She turned off the light with a flick of her wand and then quickly moved outside. She was about to leave when she heard James singing. She always liked to hear James sing. He had such a lovely voice, it comforted her in her most troubled times. She pressed her ear on the door and listened carefully.

"Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away.."

Lily slowly pushed open the door, glad to see James hadn't noticed. He had his back to her and was playing the piano and reading the lyrics as he went. The Music room were filled with shelves of boxes which contained different lyrics and things. There was a couch in the corner and a table which James sat at and wrought music. The piano was on the far wall and was black and well polished.

"I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry"

Lily moved into the room and closed the door quietly and watched as James continued to play.

"Would it help if I turned a sad song on
would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way"

Lily was close to tears now as she watched James. He did care for her, he did care that she had left him...

"I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with my pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry"

Lily was crying now. How could she have left the man that loved her and missed her so much?

"I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To Hell with this pride let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry!"

"Tonight I wanna cry..." Lily sang along at the end. James quickly turned around, his face was covered with tear stains and so was the parchment he had been reading from.

"Lily," He said as he wiped the tears away quickly. "What are you doing here?" Lily moved forward and grabbed his hand to stop him from wiping away more of his tears. Lily shook her head and then flung her arms around him and began to cry.

"I'm so sorry James." Lily cried as James hugged her back. "Will you ever forgive me?"

"Will you take me back?" James asked as Lily pulled away. She nodded and then they both smiled. "Then I forgive you." With that he pulled her down so she was sitting on the long bench next to him and gave her a long firm kiss.