Title: Conversations with a Scourge

AN: Okay, so this whole little series thing is sort of my idea of an ode to witty banter, cause...that's all it is. The whole thing is between Buffy and Angelus (mostly) and is set in my own little world where Buffy lives with the Auralias Clan and dates Angelus and everyone's pretty cool about it...kay, so it's not meant to be realistic. It's just whimsy and fun, so don't take it seriously. If you're looking for something angsty and dramatic, this ain't your cuppa tea.

Timeline: Let's say the middle-ish of season three. Buffy's been accepted to collage; the gang is on iffy terms with Faith (who Angelus is buddies with; it fits for me. just go with it)

Course Selection



"I was looking through the class selection brochure for UC Sunnydale."

"Mm hmm."

"--And I came across a really interesting class that's open to freshmen."


"And I guess I just wanted to…run it by you?"

"Very good. Let's see."

"Okay, here you go. Right there."


"Now before you go and say anything final--"


"I think I could really learn a lot."


"And it would probably make the whole slaying thing much easier."

"No, Buffy!"

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."


"Buffy, I've heard of these 'vampire' courses. All they do is fill your head with idiotic, made-up vampires that sprout from idiotic human brains."


"If you want to know more about those you fight, you have a Watcher to tell you all you want to know. Better yet, you live with the most infamous vampire family in history. Ask Spike. Ask me!"


"But nothing, Buffy. No is no."

"But, Angelus, look!"


"Yeah, 'oh.' The whole thing is about you guys."

"The Order of Auralias."

"Exactly. Darla's the first marking period; you are the second."

"Still doesn't change a thing. You can ask us for this information. You'll take a different class."

"What different class? Listen, you want me to ace a course? This…is a course I can ace."

"You are going to ace any class you take. I demand perfection from my women."

"Right, well, slaying vampires is pretty much the only thing, besides giving head, that I do well. So, unless you find me Blow Jobs 101 in there, I'm taking the damn class."

"…Well, listen to you."

"I'm serious, Angelus."

"Oh, I love it when you're all outspoken. It's so cute."


"C'mere, you little liberated lady."

"Angelus, stop…oh…Angelus, I mean it!"

"Shut up and lay the hell back."

"But I--oh! Oh! Okay, I'll shut up."

"Good girl."