A/N: Hey! I'm back! Lol. You might be thinking, yay, is this a storystory? But I'm here to tell you folks that its simply a oneshot. Don't get too disappointed, though. It's from James point of view, which I can't remember ever doing and if I have, I haven't done it for a while. It's kinda quirky in some ways but I just came up with the plot the other day while I was bored at the airport. I apologize if I insult any guys. I tried really hard to get into the mind of a guy. Lol.
Some might say James is a little OOC, but I'm taking a little different angle here. More innocent. Remember guys, James does not see himself as arrogant or a womanizer, so I'm not going to write in first person that way.
Disclaimer: Gah. Nothing.
It was one of those things that started out innocently enough and then ended up as wrong as humanly possible. Morally I mean. You were probably imaging this vicious attack in which Moony accidentally bit Sirius in human form, or where I slipped the Avada Kedavra curse on Peter while under the influence of Padfoot's tongue-tied charm. That didn't happen exactly, although in Lily's eyes it pretty much amounts to the same.
The four of us were grouped in the common room after hours and, yes, there was some alcohol present. But we had barely even opened any before it happened, not nearly enough to get shitfaced. So it started out normal, just us guys in front of the fire with some booze.
And then it happened.
Sirius, the prick, said he found a present for us and pulled this lacey thing from within his robes. We're all thinking we scored, I mean this thong is ing godly, when Sirius shoves it into my hands. I don't exactly complain; it is a thong.
So while I'm standing there admiring the flimsy material with all the guys surrounding me like worshippers, Lily Evans opens the common room door.
I know. It can't get any worse, right?
She stands there for a second, drinking in the extreme grossness of this situation before she releases her Lilyesque rage. Only she can't find any words to describe her anger. That's a really, really bad sign. "You… you pervert!"
Now, I know caressing ladies underwear is bad but really she was blowing this way out of proportion. Or so I thought.
It ended up that she had every right to call me a pervert and much, much more.
The next thing I know Lily's storming up to me, her face all bend up and contorted, and she grabs the thong from me and she's so mad, I think she is going to spit on me.
And she runs off, not to her dormitory (she's been having a fight with Emmeline lately, maybe that's why she was out so late) but right back out the common room and I could tell she was sobbing.
I don't even think to yell at Sirius, even though he probably knew it was Lily's thong the whole time. Instead I just run right out after her.
"Lily, shit," I mumble as I run head first into a wall. I can't see a bloody thing at this hour.
Luckily the painting I ran into was empty, as its portrait was probably out for a few drinks. Oh what I would give to be sitting in the common room guzzling down more beers without having to run down the Hogwarts corridors like a blind maniac because I must apologize to the woman I love for caressing her thong.
Oh, the things that I do for this woman.
Stumbling around, I could hear her crying but I couldn't tell where she was so I just sort of felt with my feet and arms and kept calling for her. She still didn't answer.
After a while, I found my way into a corner and by the scuttling noises I heard, it sounded like she was there too.
"I suppose," she hiccupped. "You think this was funny?"
I hated myself more than I ever have in my entire life. This was not Lily, crying on the floor like a weak animal. Lily was headstrong and would never sound this vulnerable in my presence. And I had caused her to act this way…
"I didn't know, really." This sounded absolutely ridiculous and I knew it, but it was the truth and what else could I say?
"What is there not to know?" She asked sourly, becoming more herself. "Ow," she hissed, "you stepped on my foot."
"Sorry love but I can't see worth a damn."
It was not a request or a question. It was an order.
"Never, ever, steal my underwear again, do you understand me?"
"James, you were stroking it in front of your friends while they were chanting 'lick it'. How can you possibly defend yourself against that?"
Okay, when she put it that way everything sounded terrible. "I really didn't know whose thong it was, Lily."
"But you still were acting repulsive."
I paused a moment, not believing my ears. "So, you believe me?"
"What!" She practically shouted it, as though accusing her of believing me was insulting in some way.
"You believe that I didn't know that the…" I suddenly flushed. Holy shit. I just held Lily's thong. And thongs cover up women's-
"I guess I believe you."
She sounded a bit defeated. I hated that her admitting I was right was so hard for her.
"So, you're not mad at me?" Okay, maybe I was jumping a step too far but wasn't that what you were supposed to say when an argument had reached its awkward conclusion?
"Whatever. I still think you guys are awful."
I couldn't really tell by her voice if she was completely serious or only half serious. In the dark, without any body language to read, it is sometimes very difficult to understand a person.
"But can you stop assuming that I am this sex obsessed machine?"
"I never said that-"
"Yes, you did."
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!"
"No, I didn't!"
"See," Okay, I knew what do now. I had her on a string. She was trying very hard not to oggle at my dreamy silhouette in the moonlight (or lack thereof). I could feel it. Even if she was yelling at me. "Sex isn't everything. I like kissing too."
It came out so perfectly, the exact way I had imagined it in my head. Not or pushy sounding, but seductive. I could feel her push back her smile and cock her head a bit to the side. "Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Potter?"
My whole body was buzzing. The way she said Mr. Potter…
"Only if you want me to..."
And not two minutes later did this light blind us so Lily shrieked, falling off of me and Filch, that stupid , showed up at the other end of the light.
Which is how we got landed in detention.
And that's why Lily won't speak to me, unless the word of choice is of the type that causes movies to have restricted ratings or is a variation of the word 'dickhead'. It's looking pretty hopeless guys. In fact, it's so hopeless that Sirius has repeatedly suggested I give up and become asexual.
But I know she's got something for me. You may think I'm crazy for thinking it, but why else would she have slipped me her thong while we were kissing? Don't start assuming things though, I'm being good. The guys don't know anything about it and I sort of hid it beneath my trunk and I haven't seen it since that day. But it is accessible because I know that someday, Lily Evans will want me to she her in it.
A/N: My computer blocks out curse words and other words including sexy words for underwear, if you know what I mean, and I don't know if as I updated my computer blocked those words out. As you might notice, this story includes quite a few of those types of words (hence the T rating). If you all see blanks or single letters, they are probably standing in for curse words etc which were not acceptable to my computer. Once again, I don't even know if it'll be a problem, I'm just warning you.
On a more "story context" note, I really liked how the ending left the reader hanging. This is why, if I ever finish my LJ story and choose to post, I might possibly use this as my prologue or something and incorporate the underwear into the story again later. I just like this a lot.
Thank you for reading and review!