Well, here's my second fic (Submitted, not written). See if you can figure out the theme before you reach the end. I pity you if you can't.
The doom of Konoha
by Legendary Legacy
Typical Disclaimer: (Insert randomly stupid comment about what I'd do if I owned Naruto, even though I don't.)
Real Disclaimer: Naruto and all the characters and settings therein are the creative and legal property of Masashi Kishimoto. This story is being written without permission and without intent of profit.
It was all over. After what had eventually become years in the making, the war between Konohagakure and Orochimaru and his Sound ninja followers had come to an end.
And Konoha had lost.
Word had spread quickly to the other countries about the inconceivable fall of arguably the most powerful of all the ninja villages. There were disbelievers, even those who sent out spies to see for themselves if it was true.
What they learned shocked them. It wasn't the amount of time it had taken for the village to fall, but rather WHAT had caused the fall of it. According to all the reports that the various spies had dug up, Orochimaru hadn't even taken his army with him.
Somehow, by some act of God, a total of four people had laid waste to Konoha in a matter of hours.
This had sent the rest of the villages into a state of panic. What if they were the next to be attacked? How could they defend themselves against people of such power? Even the respective Kage's were at a loss. Should they pull all of their strengths and resources together and attack Orochimaru as one? Or would they be better off surrendering now?
It was certainly a dark time for everyone in the land.
Orochimaru was a man who was never really known for being cheerful, at least not in the same sense as what other people might be cheerful about. But as he stood on the balcony of the, now former, Hokage's tower, gazing out at the burnt and shattered remains of Konoha, he had to hold in the impulse to start singing.
It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever witnessed. Finally, after so many years and all of the failed attempts, he'd done it. The detestable village was gone, and all of its shinobi along with it. Oh sure, he was certain that a few had slipped away; the fox boy for one had been spotted fleeing from the village with that pink-haired teammate of his unconscious in his arms, and he was fairly certain that his own former teammates were still around somewhere. They always were far too stubborn to die anyway, he surmised.
But it wouldn't matter now anyway. No one would ever be able to stand in his way again. Not with 'Her' now serving him.
The Snake Sannin laughed coldly. How shocked the rest of the world would be if they learned that the village of Konoha had not fallen to four people as the rumors said, but to just one person. And that person hadn't even been him. In truth, he'd done little more than watched the whole thing in amazement. Only once the battling was over and the few remaining had fled did he allow himself to lay his own siege to the village.
What a terror this new prospect of his had been. He'd seen her use jutsu that he hadn't even known existed. Everyone to stand before her had fallen with the barest of resistance. In fact, there were many who, upon seeing her, hadn't even tried to defend themselves: just stood there as though in some sort of trance that she had put them in without even trying.
Turning his back to the destruction around him, Orochimaru casually walked back inside. How sad, he thought to himself, that something as great, as powerful and as prosperous as this could possibly be ruined so easily by just one person.
Once inside, Orochimaru was welcomed to the sight of his two most trusted and loyal subjects: the reclusive and power-hungry Sasuke Uchiha, and the analytical medical nin Kabuto.
"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?" he asked upon seeing the well-hidden look of dissatisfaction on the avenger's face. "I pray you're not having second thoughts about everything now that it's all over."
"Of course not," Sasuke muttered. "The fact that this miserable place is gone makes me ecstatic. It's just...the way it happened. I mean, using...'Her', of all people?"
Orochimaru chuckled. "Don't fret, Sasuke-kun. In times like these, you must take the help that is available. If it makes you feel any better, I promise you can kill Itachi all by yourself."
Sasuke grunted something that was probably a positive affirmation as Orochimaru turned his attention to Kabuto. "I know I don't say this often enough, Kabuto-kun, but you are a true genius."
Kabuto beamed at the praise. "Thank you, Orochimaru-sama. I'm glad that I was finally truly able to assist you in this."
Orochimaru laughed again, he seemed to not be able to quit, as his mood was so extraordinarily high. "Just one thing that I have to know: Where were you able to find 'Her'?"
Kabuto's eyes flashed behind his glasses as a sly grin split across his face. "I trust you remember Tayuya?"
He pondered a moment, and then remembered. "The dead girl who was once part of the Sound Four, right?"
"And what could she possibly have to do with this?"
Kabuto's grin grew wider. "Well, the other day I hacked into her old personal computer, and while searching I found a few interesting files. Turns out she was quite the fangirl of our old friend Kimimaru, and wrote several intricate fantasies about the two of them together. Of course, she exaggerated quite a bit about her own looks, abilities and personality to the point where her 'character' resembled herself in no real way. But having such potent data at my hands, I simply uploaded the 'character' into one of my cadavers, resulting in our invincible ally."
Ignoring an indignant snort from Sasuke, Orochimaru grinned even wider than Kabuto. "And are there more of these types of people that you would be able to use for our future causes if it becomes necessary to destroy anything else?"
"Oh, they're everywhere, Orochimaru-sama," he assured him. "They're everywhere."
"Wonderful," he whispered, once again returning to his cold, dark laughter.
And again, that's all I've got to say about that. As before, if I somehow offended you, grow up. If you liked it, thank you. If you're overly sensitive, flame me. Don't tell me to update, it's a one-shot. And finally, any people who'd like to see more mock/parody fics like the first two, let me know, I've got plenty.
Thank you, and good evening.