Breathe in….

Breathe out….

Ignore the urge to cough, just breathe….

God, this is pathetic. Always, always, I thought that I would die fighting. That I would get my name put on the hero stone.

Guess not. Who would have thought that the great Copy Nin would be done in by an illness?

Breathe in….

Is dieing always this lonely? I've been lying here for at least a day. You'd think that someone would have tried to check up on me.

Breathe out….

Who are you kidding? You've pushed them away, ignored them. Now they're just returning the favor.

My book has been taunting me. It's sitting on the other side of the room, on my nightstand. It loves that fact that I can't move to go get it. I don't know if I can even focus my eyes enough to read it, but it would have been nice to hold.

Heh. Maybe they'd think I died of a massive nosebleed.

Breathe in….

God, that hurts so much. Who would have thought that breathing required conscious effort?

Breathe out….

It's getting harder to draw a full breath. My lungs are starting to gurgle.

I wonder how Tsunande would react to my death. She might blame herself for not seeing the signs. It's not like I just got sick suddenly.

I remember when I first got diagnosed. It seemed so impossible to me, so unreal. I didn't want to train for a long time afterwards. There didn't seem to be a point. It took me a year to drag myself out of it.

I couldn't tell Obito that I didn't live while I was alive.

Breathe in….

I wish someone were here with me. Is that too corny? To have someone hold my hand, lie and tell me it'd all be okay?

Breathe out….

One of my dogs would do at this point. But I don't have enough chakra to summon Pak-kun.

I wish I was on the bed at least. The floor isn't very comfortable for extended visits.

I wonder where I'll go when I die? Not with Sensei, Rin and Obito. They all died in battle, for the good of the people around them. Maybe with my father? But I'm not choosing this, and there's no one to truly mourn my absence. I'm such a failure; maybe I will end up with my father.

My lungs are burning. I can't breathe at all now. There are lights everywhere, red and green ones. It looks like Christmas. It'd be pretty, if not for the blackness under it. I wish the noise would stop. Someone's yelling.

Don't be mad. Don't be upset. I'm sorry, just don't be mad…

Awyr here. No, I don't own any Naruto characters. Wish I did.