AN: I have no idea if this is possible in the ninja world and I don't care xD Just IMAGINE it is!
So... yah... don't have much else to say actually. You know, it's weird how most author's can talk on and on about random things in their author notes. I honestly don't have a clue on what to write here, except 'enjoy!'. So... yeah xD.
Erm... enjoy! o.o
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, unfortunately.
Ninja For Hire
By SmexLemur (worship her!)
Chapter 1: Fate Is Not So Kind
Sasuke was not having a good day.
Yes, it's quite the cliché to begin a story with that sentence, but I can't help it—Sasuke really wasn't having a good day. So sue me for using that sentence, go ahead, but once I'll explain the situation to you, you will agree with me that said sentence is necessary.
First of all, Sasuke overslept himself. Normal and simple people would just ignore this and shrug their shoulders, but Sasuke wasn't normal nor was he simple—he was a genius and a hard worker. People like him did not oversleep.
Not only was he late for his meeting with Tsunade, who had summoned him the day before, but he also missed his daily morning exercise. He would always—always—do thirty laps around the village and one thousand push ups and another hour of training with weapons. Sasuke liked routines and schedules and oversleeping was not in his schedule.
Secondly, he bumped into the dobe today, which was not good. He had been trying to avoid the dobe at all cost (because of The Incident. But I will tell you about that later), but said dobe decided to invite him to go grab some ramen (at eleven o' clock in the morning. Don't ask.) and dragged him along without giving Sasuke a chance to reply to his invite. Not that it would've mattered, but let's keep Sasuke in dreamland, hm?
"Come on Sasuke-bastard, I haven't seen you in ages!" the blonde-haired Jounin said as he jumped up and down excitedly. Sasuke rolled his eyes, trying to keep the amusement off his face.
"Dobe, you've seen me yesterday while we were having lunch," he responded. Naruto narrowed his eyes at him.
"Bastard, don't call me that!" he yelled.
"You call me bastard, why shouldn't I call you dobe?" Naruto shook his head.
"I dunno, it suits you. It's like a nickname!" Sasuke again had to do his best to hide his amusement. He smirked slightly at the blonde dobe, who sat down eagerly at Icharuka's (AN: did I spell that right?) and ordered some miso ramen.
"Then dobe is my nickname for you."
That's part of how his lunch with the dobe went, but of course, a much more had happened. Like Naruto yelling at him, yelling some more, eating some more and… yelling. Well, all of that was from Naruto's side, of course.
Thirdly, after he finally managed to get out of the dobe's grasp, he stood in front of Tsunade, who was looking at him smugly.
"Excuse me?" he said, a very fresh and scary scowl on his face.
"You heard me, Uchiha. You're going on vacation," she replied, totally unfazed. As if she didn't even notice his glare. Damnit, he had worked so hard on it, to perfect it and to make it the scariest one ever, but it had zero effect on her!
"I fail to see why, Tsunade-sama," he managed to say, masking his anger by making his voice as unemotional as possible. He gritted his teeth when Tsunade started to bite on a pencil, swirling it around with her tongue smugly. He noticed there were faint marks of ink on her left cheek, as if she had fallen asleep while doing paperwork. Sasuke rolled his eyes—he still failed to see why this woman had been chosen to be the Godaime.
"You've been working non-stop ever since you returned from Orochimaru, which was five," she held up five fingers to emphasize this, "years ago. Several Jounin have warned me about your instability, you collapsed last week due to overexertion and you look like shit. You won't be doing any missions again for two weeks, whether you like it or not Uchiha." Sasuke gritted his teeth. She sighed as she leaned back in her chair, pulling the pencil out of her mouth. "Look, I don't like losing one a top Jounin, but you need to take better care of your body. There aren't a lot of missions at the moment anyway, so we can spare you for the moment."
"But what am I going to do in those two weeks?" Sasuke asked impatiently. Honestly, what was the Hokage thinking?
"Don't know, don't care," she waved a hand dismissively. "Get yourself a social life or something, or go on vacation to a nice sunny country and get yourself a tan. God knows you need both of them," Sasuke shot her another glare. Was there a jutsu that made you able to shoot daggers out of your eyes? If there was, Sasuke wanted to know which one and where he could learn it.
Sasuke was about to open his mouth, when someone stormed in. That someone changed his day from the Worst Day Ever, to the Best Day Ever. He made a mental note to thank her later.
"Hokage-sama!" a high-pitched voice shrieked. Sasuke looked at the plump woman who had just entered Tsunade's office, a determined look on her face. She took out a fat stack of bills and smacked them on Tsunade's desk, not once sparing a glance at Sasuke. "Fluffy has disappeared again, I want your best Jounin looking for my little schnuckums!" The Hokage rubbed her temples, as if she had seen this happening before.
"Mrs. Lhiu, are you sure you want a Jounin on the job? A Genin can easily find your cat," she said, eyeing the stack of bills.
"That is not an option, I want to hire a Jounin!" she declared. Tsunade took the bills eagerly, mentally cackling in glee. Oh, how she loved money! She scribbled something on a note and handed it to the woman.
"Take this to the next room and give it to Umino Iruka—he'll notify a Jounin," she told her. The plump woman nodded, before waddling out of the office and into the next room. Tsunade shot her an amused glance, before focusing her eyes on Sasuke. "Lucy Lhiu, comes in here once a week with a ton of money. She's loaded and hires Jounin to search for her cat, which runs away whenever it can."
Sasuke wasn't really listening, for inside his mind, the little gears were working as if their life depended on it. His eyes shifted from the talking Tsunade, to the window, to the pen in Tsunade's hands. Yes, it was perfect! And brilliant and amusing… after all, if he was to go on a vacation for two weeks, he needed some form of entertainment, right?
And he could keep him close…
If he had been anybody else, he would've grinned and cackled and laughed and jumped around—but he was Uchiha Sasuke. Uchiha's did not express excitement. He coughed to interrupt Tsunade in her one-sided conversation.
"Tsunade-sama, anyone can hire a Jounin? Even Jounin themselves?" The Hokage raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Yes, as long as they have money for it. Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"What if I wanted to hire a Jounin to do some chores around my house? Like… a butler for two weeks? Would that be possible?"
"It would cost you a lot of—"
"Money doesn't really matter," Sasuke interrupted.
"Well, in that case, it is possible, yes," she answered.
"And when the Jounin isn't willing?" Tsunade shrugged.
"Genin usually aren't willing to do D-ranked missions either, but they have to do it anyway. Mind telling me what you're planning?" Sasuke answered her question with a smirk as he reached inside his pocket to get out some bills.
"Tsunade-sama, I'd like to hire Uzumaki Naruto for two weeks."
Tsunade could only feel sorry for Naruto.
Naruto was having a good day.
He was able to get out of bed late, since he didn't have any missions for the day.
He trained in the forest for a couple of hours and had even found a sparring partner—Kiba—whom he had beaten once again (which wasn't entirely odd, since Kiba still was a Chuunin).
And he got treated to ramen by Sasuke-bastard! Well, that was okay, he guessed. Anybody who treated him to ramen, definitely was his best friend.
However, his good day fell apart when Konohamaru told him to go see Tsunade, since she had a special mission for him. Normally, he would be ecstatic about something like this, but it was the look in Konohamaru's eyes that made him suspicious. He looked as if something really funny was about to happen—as if it was some sort of prank. Naruto wouldn't be surprised if Konohamary really was planning something for him… well, whatever it was, Naruto would find out.
When he entered Tsunade's office, he immediately noticed the very amused look on her face. Her lips were twitching upwards and she had a mad glint in her eyes.
The second thing he noticed, was Sasuke standing inside the office with a very, very, very wide smirk plastered on his face. If Naruto didn't know any better, he would think Sasuke was laughing in the typical Orochimaru way: 'Kukukukuuu…'.
It really made his insides churn and he wanted to spin around and run as fast as he could.
"Hello there, brat," Tsunade said smugly. Naruto gulped. "I got a mission for ya."