TOW the Freeze Tag
Summary: Chandler breaks his leg.
A/N: Yet another break from my novel. I think the next time I need a break I'm going to update TOW the Body Switching. It really is too bad I started working on something else – I was only two chapters away from finishing that.
Anyways, this one-shot is sort of "based on real life" fanfic. For the past six or seven weeks I've been stuck in a cast for my knee. A while ago I thought about putting Chandler in a cast for some reason (he's my favorite, hehe) and now I'm getting around to writing it…thanks to the wonder that is my shiny new laptop
This takes place anytime season 7.
"Dude! Watch my arm!"
"I'm sorry, I was trying not to get attacked by your foot! Will you be careful, Joey?"
"You're the one who told me to pick it up!"
"I meant slowly!"
"How was I supposed to know that?"
The guys were in front of Central Perk, but that was only after several blocks of painful maneuvering. Ross and Joey were helping a mortified Chandler into the coffee shop after an embarrassing incident at the park. The first statement had been Chandler's, who was now bruised in numerous other areas thanks to his friends.
They drew stares as Chandler hobbled over to the couch. Fed up with the other two, he had shrugged them off and began to hop on his good leg to the couch.
He didn't get very far. The girls, who had been in their usual spot, got up and rushed over to Chandler. Monica gave him a kiss, then hugged him while she took hold of his arm. "Oh my God! Sweetie, what happened?" She asked, casting a murderous look at her brother.
"It's nothing!" Chandler insisted. He then picked up his left leg to prove his point. Or tried to, anyway. His heel wouldn't leave the ground. "Well, it is nothing…my heel's just very attached to the rug. I took my shoes off in here the other day, it planted itself on the carpet and refused to move for like an hour."
Monica smiled at him. "Honey, I love you, and I'm worried about you…but shut up and sit down."
"What happened?" Phoebe sat next to him, and started massaging his leg. She reached one particular spot, and he screamed in pain. "Oh, sorry, did that hurt?"
"No, I hear shrieking like a girl releases stress," Chandler deadpanned.
"Really?" Phoebe did so, then grinned. "You're right! I feel much better."
Shaking her head, Rachel turned to Joey and Ross. "What happened?"
"Uh…" Ross stuttered, then blurted, "It was Joey's fault!"
"Hey! How was it my fault?" Joey argued.
"You were the one who said, 'hey, let's play freeze tag'!" Ross exclaimed.
"Who knew that a kids' game can be so dangerous?"
"Yeah, about that," Monica interjected, "Why were you playing freeze tag?"
The guys shared glances, the shrugged simultaneously. "There was nothing' better to do," Chandler explained.
"Yeah, and plus there was this really hot chic," Joey added, "and I wanted her to see how Ross runs like a senior citizen."
"I do not!"
"Ross, I have to agree with Joey on that one," Chandler remarked. "There were snails going faster than you."
"I…I…" Ross tried to think of a comeback, but muttered, "I'm gonna go call a cab for the hospital," and went outside.
"Will one of you tell us what happened now?" Rachel demanded.
The men looked at each other, then Chandler sighed. "Okay, it was like this…"
We were jogging past Central Park this morning, on the way to meet you for breakfast. I was thinking about how I was getting winded, and that I really should use my wasted gym membership when I noticed Joey was slowing down with me. He was staring at woman who was sitting on a bench reading a paperback. Now she was really hot…I mean, Joey must have thought so, because he stopped running all together.
Ross had been about a mile behind us and caught up. Seeing the woman, Ross stopped too. "Wow, she's pretty."
He hadn't been particularly articulate at that moment.
Joey nodded, and I could tell that he was already running pick up lines through his mind, deciding which ones he hadn't used too much lately. "Yeah! You guys wait here."
"Whoa, hold it there, my friend." Ross put a hand on Joey's shoulder.
Joey hadn't understood yet that he had competition. Or, maybe he had and didn't consider Ross to be any. "Ross, you mind? I'm about to work some Joey magic here."
"Why should you get her?" Ross challenged.
"Uh, because I saw her first?" Joey retorted, throwing off Ross' hands.
"That's not fair!"
"Dude, I was trying to give you an excuse here. The truth is, if she sees both of us standing together…you don't stand a chance."
This went on for several minutes. I stood there, and when I started dreaming about a nice cup of coffee I knew I had to intervene. "Guys, will you let her go? The girls are waiting! There'll be plenty of other damsels in distress you two knights can joust over!"
"No, I want to go over there!" Ross argued.
"Why should you get to over me?" Joey asked.
Ross gestured to the woman, who thankfully was still oblivious to our conversation. "She's reading a book! She obviously has more in common with me!"
Joey focused on the cover. "It's porn, hah! She has more in common with me!"
"How do you know that?"
"I can spot porn from a mile away!"
"All right, that's enough!" Monica interrupted, her tone implying that her limited supply of patience was running thin.
Rachel put a steadying hand on Monica's arm. "What she means is, how did this end up in you and Ross agreeing to play freeze tag?"
Chandler glared at Joey. "I was getting to that."
"Hey, I got an idea," Ross exclaimed. "How about a game of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'?"
Joey let out an exasperated breath. "Not now, Ross! Can't you see I'm trying to convince you that I should get the girl?"
I rolled my eyes. "Joey…"
"What…oh, well that is a good idea," Joey began, but I could tell he had been struck with inspiration. I should know – it doesn't happen for him very often. "I mean, the playing a game part. But let's make it something harder, like…freeze tag?"
"Joey, why would I agree to that?" Ross questioned.
Wanting this to be over with, I pressed, "Come on, Joey, just play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors. Best two out of three."
"No, you come on!" Joey exclaimed, checking his watch. "We still got a few minutes before the girls said they'd be there!"
I got that he was trying to make Ross look like a sissy, but at that point I didn't really care. I needed caffeine. "You know what, just play Ross. I'll play too 'cause, well, only two people playing freeze tag is pretty much impossible."
"Okay fine," Ross agreed. "Why don't we make Chandler it. The guy who gets tagged the least amount of times in five minutes wins."
Phoebe was leaning towards him eagerly on the couch. "So who won?"
Chandler glanced down at his torn jeans, through which he could see his swollen, probably dislocated knee. "Well, we're still trying to figure that out."
"No way!" Silent through the whole story up 'til now, Joey jumped up from his seat on the couch's arm. "What's to decide? I won, Ross lost, and if it hadn't been for you and your leg, that girl and I would be having sex tonight!"
Chandler ignored him. "Like I said, we're still trying to figure that out…"
Three minutes into the game, I had tagged Joey and Ross each once. I was getting a little tired by then. I was sorta trying to tag Joey more since I felt bad for Ross…sorry, dude, but if I were really trying to tag Ross he'd never be able to recover his dignity… Anyway, I was chasing after Joey, right, but Ross realized that I wasn't going after him and was a little insulted by it. He kept coming up to me, and then "dashing" the other way. Finally I decided, "screw sympathy, Ross is going down."
So, I'm running after Ross now. He can speed up when he puts his mind to it. We're running around the pond. Ross was right in front of me, then he made a sharp right. This kid comes flying past on his bike…though, he doesn't pass completely…
"Oh my God," Monica exclaimed, while Rachel and Phoebe made similar noises. "What…how…?"
"The guy whipped by so fast and so close that…I stumbled backwards, did a back flip over the edge and…well, I've never been too athletic," Chandler finished, hanging his head in shame.
"Dude, don' worry about it," Joey assured him. "I doesn't look too bad."
"Thank you Dr. Tribbiani," Chandler quipped.
Monica hesitantly tapped his leg "Although…can you move it now?"
"Let me check." Chandler tried with all his might, tightening his muscles, willing his leg to move. After a few seconds all he got was a lot of pain. "Nope."
"Then I think it might be broken," Monica observed. She shifted his knee one way. "Does that hurt?"
Another way. "That?"
Another way. This time Monica gave his knee a hard shove. "Th –"
Phoebe gripped Monica's arm. "Stop, you're hurting him!"
"All right, that's it." Rachel pulled Monica away. "You are not allowed to touch Chandler."
Chandler's face whitened. "Ever?"
Ross came back in and waved them over. "Guys, I got two cabs."
"Okay, be there in…" Chandler picked his butt off the couch, but couldn't get his leg down from the coffee table. "…an hour."