Suikoden I-II, Suikogaiden, Suikoden Card Stories (c)Konami 1995-2001. I don't gain any profit from this, and please don't steal the plot. Spoiler: Suikoden II, Suikogaiden.

It was a sunny day in former North Window, now was known as the Headquarters of the State-Alliance. The small city, better than reffering to *castle*, was crowded as usual. People were walking here and there, talking here and there, and occupying themselves with whatever they could do. Yeah, typical *cheerful* atmosphere.

The same thing was not happening 2 floors above the basement, where the *normal* ones did their daily activities. Or you could say, with the difference of 2 floors, the contrary thing was happened...

The people, known as the 108 stars, the important members of the State Alliance were gathered.... not for the preparation of invasion to Rockaxe or any other *usual* things. This was a sudden meeting, held by the leader and the advisor of State Alliance themselves.

The 108 stars, were in a *silent* atmosphere, thanks to Shu's few screams to silence, and the leader's summoned thunderstrokes, now they were pressed in a *uncheerful* air, without knowing anything.

"Report," Shu said. But, this one word made the rest of the stars more confused than before, it was not giving them any clue why they were gathered there at the first place. "of Accusations."

"What?" The whole hall was surprised, then another riot followed, thankfully, calmed down by a thunder summoned by the leader, who was prepared before by attaching a thunder rune to one of his hands.

"Hhh." Shu released his breath like releasing something heavy from his back. "First is Nanami."

"WHAT?" Nanami shouted, shocked. "What's going on here!!!?" She then glared at her brother who was standing next to the advisor, the leader who was redened in his face, and pretending to whistle and seemed very distracted by the clouds outside the window

"For disturbing the safety and life of whole castle." There were some voices of relief came from the people there, saying *thank god* and *she deserves that*.

"I WHAT!!?" Nanami yelled, not believing any single thing she heard.

"Frequently, there're some misterious death happened to the fish in the pond and some porks at the farm, reported from some people." Chaco suddenly coughed out loud, and Yuzu was running away from the front row, both receiving threats from Nanami. "I'LL KILL YOU! I PROMISE I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!" She then turned her head quickly to Shu and her brother, "I didn't kill them! How could you accuse me for such things!!??"

"Well," Shu harrumphed. "It looks like they have been ehm---" Shu peeked the leader with the corner of his eyes, and saw a nod from his superordinate. "Poisoned."


"Eh-hem," Shu cleared his throat and continue. "By some food... which were definitely given by..."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY FOOD!?" Nanami shrieked.

"I'm sorry, Nanami." Her brother then told her. "I've been thinking for it, and maybe it's good for all of us if you don't make any experiments on food... because... ehm, you know how many animals we killed by forcing them to eat your food when we were children? Do you remember the guy in Muse who passed out after eating your... ehm, soup? What is his name again? I think it's Nash, hope he's alright now. And remember Jowy's dog? You're crying because it was dead pois---, I mean, umm... We don't what that thing to happen again, right?"

There's a silence in the room... then, a voice broke it.

"Okay, I think I'll give it up." The sentence from Nanami was continued by a joyful chorus from the crowd.

"BUT!" The room suddenly went silence again. "You have to taste my recipes when this was is over!"

The son of Genkaku gulped, and this time, he recieved worried and pity glances from his subordinates, including pleading ones to recieve Nanami's offer. "... O, okay."

The room cheered again, they didn't hear Shu said, "So it's settled."


"Next are Miklotov and Camus." Shu continued. His voice made all stars surprised and they turned their eyes to both of the knights they all knew, had the most perfect clean records of their lives, and giving them a questioning glance.

"Excuse me?" Miklotov asked, raising his hand. "But what have we done so our names have to be brought to this..." He was looking for a word.

"court." Answered the leader, smiling slightly.

Miklotov wrinkled his eyebrows. "Right, court..." and he repeated the word under his breath.

Camus gave his childhood friend an assuring grip to his hand. He was also confused to the accustion the advisor gave to them.

Shu harrumphed again. "That is the problem." His eyes pointing to their intertwining hands, then all eyes in the hall followed Shu's. Embarrassed, and felt that they were watched by the whole hall, Camus quickly released Miklotov's hand from his.

"What?" Then Miklotov asked innocently.

"Your ehm, your homosexual partnership have bothered the people in men's dormitory."

"I can't believe it!" There was a voice from the girls and women section, continued with. "They're gay!?" "Eww, I don't believe I've a crush on a fagot!" "Oh my god!" "Like, they are such a gentlemen!" "A *gentle*man it is!" Which were all calmed by another thunderstroke from the leader.

"Your nightly homosexual activities bothered some---"

"Stop! Stop! Stop that right now!" Miklotov nervously cut the advisor's words. "I think, we better discuss it *privately*, *after* the... *court*."

"Eh-hem." Camus added. "I agree with Miklotov. This problem here is too private to be discussed in a... *court*."

Shu then switched glances with the leader, who nodded. "Alright, we will talk about it then."



"What?" The 500 years old vampire girl smiled innocently. "What do you accuse me with, Sir Shu?"

"I'm sorry lady Sierra, but this charge is rather heavy for you and all of us."

"What could this be?" Sierra asked, again with a guiltless tone.

"Assasination." This time, all people were really surprised, you could hear it with the painful heave they took, and some comments, like *what!?*, *lady sierra???*, *killed!?* And the leader himself didn't bother himself to call the thunder, because the riot suddenly died... they were all waiting to Sierra's answer.

"Assasination... oh," Sierra giggled, like nothing such happened. "Well, I don't think I've killed mortals for the past..." She counted with her fingers, "few weeks maybe, no, Neclord's not mortal... umm, maybe... yes, I'm sure it's past 450 years since the last time I killed a mortal human."

"Lady Sierra, please understand this..." Shu sighed. "It was one of our troopers, killed with bloddsucking 3 days ago, no signs of weapon or poison, assured by Dr. Huan himself." Huan nodded. "And signs of 2 fangs at the back of his neck..." Shu stopped a while, no one commented, they were all know it was a mark of Vampire's bloodsucking. "The body was found in the cemetery area."

"Why, I didn't know anything about that..." Sierra tapped her fingers, confused.

"It has been kept secret. We don't want any *corrupted* minds in our army, thinking about a vampire mistress killed her own ally. Well, we want to as soon as possible, but we didn't find you that day, where are you, what are your alibi?"

Silence (again) filled the atmosphere.

"Well, you couldn't find me, I understand. But you don't have to know where I am, right?"

"But it's important, lady Sierra."

Sierra ducked her head for a while. "------- Umm..." Her hum was long, too long, while the others waited for her answer, their patience would end in any moment.

"She was with me!" A voice shouted, answered the question Shu had given for her.

"Klaus!" Kiba, former Leader of 3rd (is it?) Company of Highland, yelled, shocked because his son's words. "What are you saying!?"


"Sierra, we can't have this hidden much longer..." Klaus took Sierra's hand, and held it tightly. All people were staring at them, eventhough they had an idea of what was going on, they still wanted to hear it from Klaus' own lips, and not long after the glances they took, Klaus mouthed, "We're lovers! That time, I asked my permission to Shu to go to my mother's grave, the truth is, I went with Sierra to Coronet, there, no one could recognize our faces, and we kept ourselves' company! And I swear she was there all along! I didn't leave her more than a minute! She even slept in my arms!"

"Klaus, you!" Kiba was shaking when he said this, his fingers were clenched into fists. "You're in love with a vampire!!!! Don't you know it's a disgrace for the family!?"

Klaus closed his eyes (who he kept shut always) tightly as if the anger of his father would be disappeared if he did that. "I'm sorry father, but I truly love Sierra!"

"Klaus, please." Sierra held her arms around Klaus' waist. "Stop."

Everyone stopped talking, they even stopped moving for a while, seeing Sierra and Klaus cuddled each other, while angry Kiba at one side ready to eat them if he could.

"Your alibi is proven enough." Shu voiced, "As long as Klaus said it not to protect Sierra's---"

"No! He really went to Coronet with me!" Klaus defended.

"We better talk about it later, Klaus." Kiba said with threat in his voice. "Seriously."

"Yes, father." Klaus gulped, Sierra tightened her grip to Klaus, trying to share the pain Klaus was in.


"Mazus." Shu announced.

"huh?" The old magician widened his eyes, like someone had his hair burned or something like that. Now, the crowd once more threw him questioning glances. "I'm sorry, Sir Shu... but, is it my name that I've just heard?"

"Yes, definitely."

Mazus straightened himself, preparing for the worst he had in mind, but he seemed not yet succeed in finding his sin which was *sin* enough to be brought to the court. "And may I know what my accustion is?"

"Yes... well, there are some protests from few sources that don't want to be named, some girls actually." Now, the girls section gasped, recieving some suspicious stares from the boys, and Mazus suddenly opened his eyes, realized what Shu was going to say. "I don't believe it myself, but did I read *Love potion* from a few letters?"

The men were all shocked, and threw some curses under their breaths, pointing at the girls.

Mazus stood still for a while, and everybody seemed to wait for his answer. Some worried looks from the girls... and questioning ones from the men, who didn't have any idea about this *Love potion*.

"Well, I had some requests from some people here in the castle, who are..." Mazus stopped for a while. "desperate to get the one they loved?"

"No, MAZUS! DON'T TELL THEM!" Nina suddenly shouted and then, with the same people, all people in the room looked at her with mistrust. "Oops---"

"I didn't believe I drank that thing she offered!" Flik's voice crakced the silence. "Thank god I'm still sane!!!!"

"Well, maybe there's some exception, it couldn't work to a love whose bond is so strong, so it possibly couldn't break of true love." Mazus concluded, his fingers scratching his chin. "Yes, it might be." He suddenly summon a quill and a paper to his hand, and write that down. "I can research this."

"Originally Love Potion secrets have been missing from the world for long, how could you have them?" Luc querried the older man, while Viki cut him, before Mazus could answer. "They have?" And Flik said with half his breath, "my love for Odessa is true..."

"Well, you might discuss it later." Shu halted before the conversation ended with meaningless words for the others. "So, Mazus?"

"Uhm, I certainly don't want to make those Love Potions anymore."

"WHAT!?" The girls screamed in unison. "How could you?" "You're mean?" "Old man, you're---" "It's not fair!" followed by another thunderstroke.

"It certainly make me runs out of magic substances faster, while I can use it for a better experiments." Mazus nodded by himself.

"Okay, it's finished." Shu sighed.



"ME!?" Viktor shouted. The others didn't seem to be surprised themselves, while Viktor himself was.

Then the leader gave Shu a piece of paper, he started to read. "The Accustions are..."

"Wait a minute! Accustions!? With *s* at the end???" Viktor assured himself.

"Yes, true." Shu started to read again while Viktor mumbled some curses he knew. "First, callousness..."

"I what!? Callousness!? What is that?!" Viktor yelled.

"Well, it's a noun, another words for brutalism, or feeling no pity or sympathy." Shu answered with a smile, while Viktor growled, Shu started to grin at his own when he read the next word, "Idiocy." followed by laughs from the crowd, even the leader himself didn't give the warning thunder.

"Okay, go ahead, laugh." Viktor commented.


"HAH! It supposed to be Bankruptcy, noun! Take that, you IDIOTS!"

It happened in a flash, when the thunder stroke over Viktor himself, after that Viktor didn't talk or move even an inch from his place. He stilled until the reading of the list was finished, that was another 10 minutes, when Shu pulled his breath and smiled, "Well?"

"What do you want me to do? Pray for my sin and never do it again."

"That would be nice." The leader gave Viktor a smile.

"This is all your idea, eh, Shu??" Viktor muttered. "I make sure you'll pay for this."

"I'm waiting it."


"Next," Shu studied the papers in he held, his finger moved along with the list of names, and now everyone was nervous... Either one of them would be the new victim of this *court*... "Okay, next ones." Everybody gasped again, this time a crime in a group?

"Well, I don't know I should throw this charge to either Kasumi, Mondo, or Sasuke." Shu's sentence made the three ninjas widened their eyes, and they looked each other with big question marks on their faces. "Came from the girls dormitory again, now it's for... stealing underwears."

"Oh---- that." The girls chorused in unison, while the boys section giggled.

"Well, the girls said that they didn't saw any suspicious persons in their dormitories, and they also said, this accident happens for a long time, and they even ask for fine to the person who stole it. *And*," Shu added before anyone made a comment. "The reason why they send this charge to the ninjas, it's because their *traps* couldn't catch anyone."

"Yes, we made the traps ourselves!" Eillie screamed. "Whoever he or she is, couldn't pass our traps if he/she is not a ninja!" and following nods from several girls followed.

"Wait a minute." Kasumi cut. "How could my name be in the list? I'm a girl myself."

"That's what I wanted to ask." Shu commented. "The reasons?"

The girls said different things at the same time, so it's difficult for Shu to catch anything from the riot. The boys themselves closed their ears, trying to get away from the Chickens' sounds of the girls. Fortunately, it was stopped by a thunderstroke.

"I get it." Kasumi sighed, and she switched confused glances with Mondo, who shook his head, the big question mark was still there in his eyes. And at the same time, all eyes shifted to the 13 years old ninja from Rokkaku Hamlet.

"What?" Sasuke jumped in surprised. "Why are you all looking me like that?"

"Sasuke, did you do that?" Kasumi asked slowly, as if Sasuke didn't hear well.

"!!!!!!" Sasuke shouted, his face redened of embarrassment. "I don't believe you guys are doing this to me! I didn't do anything!"

"Seems like you know something." Kasumi asked again.

Sasuke stole glances from all the people in the *court*, who would ready to set fire on his hair, and one nervous glance from someone he knew. "I'm sorry, I cannot keep your secret," He muttered under his breath. "Okay, I admit."

Everyone gasped, they concluded he admitted that he was the one who stole the underwears.

"I know something," Sasuke added, for erasing the stares they had given him. "I know the real cleptomaniac."

"What?" They were all bewildered, if it's not the ninjas, then who?

"It's it!" Sasuke pointed at the furthest member from the crowd. "The horse, Sigfried!"

The horse jumped. "Hiiiiiiiiieeeeekkkk~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!", he said.

The people dazed, looked at Sasuke again, who nodded. "I caught it one day, but he sa--- no, somehow said to me to keep it in secret, or I... I would be..." Kasumi then hugged the younger ninja, now the women somehow had pity in Sasuke's little body, and giving the angry looks to the horse, that shrieked.

"Badeaux, translate please." The leader asked the Beastmaster.

"What did you said to me, mortal? Do you have any rights to blame me on only mortals would do?"

"Hmph! You could say that! Your obssessions to *maidens* made you lost your mind!" Sasuke countered. "You used that White Saint Rune of yours!"

Sigfried now had all mad cussings from the women.

"Now, calm down, mortals---"

But it couldn't be stopped, the girls already attack it with all specialities they had, and all the males kept a mental note not to make any females lost their tempers, and tears and cute bishounen faces could make women's heart melt.


I don't have any intention to make this a Humor. It's parody from the Original chars (OOC), and it's general.