Saint H's Here We Go Again Author's Note: Yo. This is the third time a version of the original fic '3rd Wall? We don't need no 3rd Wall!' has been posted. The first version was deleted due to excessively vulgar language, blatant suggestiveness(for humorous effect), and (this was, honestly, probably what was the killer, as it was when they started cracking down on songfics back in the day) lyrics that were not owned by yours truly. Not but a few months ago I decided to repost it... unfortunately I found it subpar.

Now I've rethought it... and I've finally sorted out all my old files. Now with a new touch and shine on an older story, here it is. The third version ... 'The Third Wall'.

... It's like a Delux Author's Edition... or some shit.

Disclaimer: I own jack shit.

Chapter 1: Liquor and Pizza... Mmmm...

His footfalls sounded as Cyborg plodded down the empty hall of Titans' Tower, humming to himself with a bounce in his step.

Why, you may (or may not if you're lame) be asking yourself?

Simple. The story is rated M…..

Duh, what else?

After a few more moments of excited humming, he broke out in to full fledged rap, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEasterEgg225OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! Shit, shit, shit, shit, damn, damn, damn, damn, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, sex, sex, sex, seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxa!

"I love being able to cuss, yea I do!

"I love being able to shout 'Yo, FUCK YOU!'

"It makes me feel good n' just a lil' horny,

"Being inside an M rated story!"

Cy finished his rap by jumping into the air and clicking his heels together. "Leprechaun maneuver!"

He entered the main room thru a pair of doors, that gave him a swish as they opened.

"Yo Cyborg!" Robin shouted from the couch, in a white tee and jeans, "How's it going man?"

"Yo Robin, you don't look like you! Where'd the pansy green tights go?" Cyborg asked, looking him over.

"Oh, they're still on underneath the jeans... but anyway it's an M rated story so I can do whatever the hell I want to!" Robin explained, "For example… Hey Star!"

Starfire came flying into the room, "Yes friend Robi-!" She couldn't finish her sentence because Robin had glomped her and the two were now in the process of making out on the floor. Cyborg watched in amazement.

"Wow! This rocks hard… huh. Wonder where BB is?" Cyborg pondered, wanting to cause M rated mayhem with his cohort.

"Check… outsi- mmm" Starfire said pulling away from Robin for a split second.

Cyborg stared wide-eyed at the two, "Y-yea, I'll do that…"

Cyborg unzipped his metal fly while watching his two friends freak…


thud, thud, thud, thud,







"Hmm, well if I had just been looking at this in type I might have thought the two were having sex." Cyborg said, watching the two fight. They were fighting dirty, pulling hair, biting and such. However as the half human watched he grew surprised as the two soon turned from violent to passionate, right out in front of Titans Tower.



"Well, it's about time for me to be heading on back inside." Cyborg said, eyes shifting back and forth nervously as he started walking away slowly.

Cyborg looked back…

Cyborg unzipped his metal fly while watching his two friends freak…


thud, thud, thud, thud,



By the time he got back Robin and Star had already vacated to a more sensual location. Leaving the poor robo-man with nothing to do.

"Alright, violent bloody video game time! Boo yah, son!"

Erm… right.

Anyway, the Cyborg threw out the pansy little racing games that were all he used to be able to play and put in some GTA. After killing some cops, humping a prostitute then killing her to get his money back, robbing a bank, fighting some gangsters, disturbing the piece, blowing up a nunnery, pissing off all the soccer moms in America, and stealing some candy from a baby, Cyborg got bored.

Poor Cyborg.

(insert sad frowning face here)

"Well," the robodude said, "I think I'll do something I've always wanted to do." and with that, he sprinted to the T-Car and took off into the City.

45 minutes later…

Cyborg made his way to the main room carrying the precious cargo he had picked up while he was out. He arrived to find his four companions carrying out life long desires that they never could do unless the story was rated M, lets watch now shall we?

Robin and Beast Boy where looking up porn on the big screen, masturbating furiously.

Raven and Starfire? They were doing their nails and gossiping about who was getting fat… being great big bitches. But anyway… back to the first scenario.

Beast Boy was on the couch with a blanket over himself, while Robin was sitting in the computer chair up close.

Suddenly, something hit Robin in the back of the head.

He turned on Beast Boy angrily, "Dude, what was that? Did you just throw something at m-"

Beast Boy grinned evilly at him… "What Robin? It's just hair gel. Hehehe."

"… I hate you."

Cyborg looked on angrily, "YO!" he yelled, as to get their attention. "You two." He said pointing at Robin and Beast Boy.

"Us?" they said meekly, pointing at themselves as they grew smaller in the shadow of their large companion.

"Yea… got something to ask you… Why would you beat your meat when you have these two lovely ladies?"

Beast Boy hopped of the couch, flexing his nonexistent green muscles proudly, "I was about to turn Raven's brains into stew with my massive wang so I had to stop after she had her ninth orgasm."

Raven just looked up from her conversation with Starfire and nodded, humming in a satisfied fashion.

"Starfire said I was too small… WAAAHH!" Robin said, lip quivering, before he started bawling.

Starfire just looked up from her conversation with Raven and nodded, humming in a disappointed fashion.

"Ok, well, in that case, don't get anything on the floor. Now get ready to party, cuz Cy's got the kegs."

"WOOHOO! the four screamed in excitement.



"Guys, don't ever say 'woohoo' like that again or I will murder you both in cold blood." Cyborg said honestly.

"Shut up and open 'em!" Beast Boy yelled dumbassily.

"BB, I doubt you've ever even drank before." Cyborg countered, to which Beast Boy shut up due to ownage.

"Please friends, I know I was excited and screamed the 'weee' with you all but, what is a keg?" Starfire asked, curious.

"It's something, very, very good Star. Especially when you drink it with this." Robin said, holding up a roofie.


4 f3w h0ur5 l4t3r (b3h0ld m4h 1337 sk1ll5)

"SIT WITH ELDERS OF A GENTLE RACE! THIS WORLD HAS SELDOM SEEN- they talk… um, what the hell was I doin'?" Beast Boy asked in confusion as he forgot the song he was singing.

"Shut up and take me you green bastard!" Raven said throwing herself at him.

"So then the glifbob said to the glibernilk, zornzvabarg!" Starfire said giggling madly at her own joke. Cyborg and Robin had no clue what the alien was talking about, but they were laughing too. Mostly because they were drunk like hell, and would have been laughing if someone had said the word 'toe' in a funny voice. So it didn't take much. Plus they were both transfixed by the way her boobs bounced up and down when she laughed. Cyborg, the most sober one in the tower (well he is the biggest, and half robot, so why not) soon got up and stared at the empty kegs, he glanced over at the clock.

" 1:24" he said to himself, he then noticed his stomach rumbling, "Hey Yaaaall!" he said in a sing song voice, "Lets go get some pizza!"

"Yea!" shouted a naked Beast Boy, "AND SOME MORE BEER!"

"Shut up and get back to business!" Raven yelled menacingly, shoving his face… somewhere.

"Great, where are my keys." Cyborg said, looking around.


Later at the pizza place…

"CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG! CHUGGA LUG!" Everyone yelled as Robin attempted to down a liquor and pizza smoothie. Mmmm, now that's the breakfast of champions! He finished it and wiped his mouth with his glove,

"That wasn't so b-LAH!" as he threw up all over the table.

"Hah! Lightweight." Cyborg said, guzzling down his fifth liquor and pizza smoothie.

"Yes, the drinks made of keg and the pizza are most glorio-hic! Glori-hic! Glori-hic! Oooooh... to poo with it."

Over at another table…

"Ladies, ladies, there's enough Beast Boy for all!" he said as a slew of girls surrounded him, tearing his clothes off. This pissed Raven off of course.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY KOOL-AID YOU WHORES!" she screeched, blasting 12 of them into oblivion with her dark energy. The rest ran away.

"Hey Raven…" Beast Boy said drunkenly, sounding like a dying cow.

Raven almost jizzed herself anyway, "Come here you sexy piece of man green meat!" she said throwing herself at him.


Later that nig- er, rather morning…

It was the dawn of the morning and all through the Tower,

All the Titans had been passed out for more than one hour,

Robin opened his eyes, "FUCK! MY HEAD!" He writhed on the floor, grasping his cranium. He had an intense headache the likes of which he had never experienced. Around the Tower three similar yells could be heard, not knowing what was going on the Titans converged to the main room where Robin had been sleeping on the floor. The door slid open.

"I feel like a got a glubertop shoved in my rijepvol!" Starfire said, clasping her head while walking in.

"BRAIN! BLEEDING! KILL ME… NOW!" Robin said, still writhing on the floor.

"Dude, stop yelling, it feels like I have needles on the inside of my skull and your making it worse!" Beast Boy moaned. He got a little greener than usual for a second and then grabbed his butt cheeks. "I think I got the runs!"

A dark portal appeared in the room and Raven appeared out of it, rubbing her temples furiously, "You idiot, you don't get the runs from a hangover!"

"Tell that to my ass!" the changeling said, running to the bathroom.

"Please, my head hurts and I feel horrible. Why is this?" the red head asked Raven as she poured herself some coffee.

"CRAINIUM…HURTS! PAAAAIIIIIIIIN!" Robin said, writhing a little more furiously now, having spasms every once in a while.

"We're hungover Star, it happens when you get drink." Raven said, getting the Aspirin from the cupboard.

"Please Raven, I drink liquids all the time and do not feel like this. And what are we hung above? I feel do not feel suspended above something."

"UGH! Ok Star, listen to me!" Raven said, eyes glowing red, "When you drink alcohol your body has to bitchslap you back because life has to suck! Just drink the coffee and take the painkillers and SHUT THE SUPER-DANDY-FUCK UP!" The girl then sank into a dark portal that likely led to her own room. Her alien friend then poured herself some of the dark liquid called 'coffee' and the odd shaped capsules Raven had swallowed.

The door slid open again, "Oh man," said Beast Boy, now more pale than anything, "I didn't know my body could make that much shit. For a second there I wasn't even sure it would flush." He walked over to the couch and collapsed.

A few moments later the door slid open again, "Hey Y'all! Howzit hangin?" a cheery Cyborg greeted to his friends. The loud proclamation caused them all to grasp their foreheads and moan. "Oh wait that's right, y'all get hangovers."

"Friend Cyborg, could you please be so kind as to, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Yea dude, my head's killing me, and I've got the runs." Beast Boy said pathetically from the couch.

"So that's what that was!" Cyborg said, waving a hand in front of his nose, "Man that stank don't go away! You smelly ass cretin. Do us all a favor and use the air freshener next time you do that man."

"Geeze Cyborg, how come you're not hungover?" Robin asked with absolute lucidity.

"Well, my cybernetic parts drains the alcohol from my systems completely once I go to sleep. It's a natural reason why life rules when you're not natural!" he said, giving two thumbs up and a big smile.

"I hate you." Beast Boy muttered from the couch.

"I second that motion." Robin said plainly.

Cyborg rose a brow at the caped teen, "Weren't you writhing on the floor in pain?"

"Oh yea, damn… AAAUUUUUGGG!" Robin said falling backwards in pain.


A few hours later …

"Well I'm feeling better!" Beast Boy said, returned to his original color.

"My insides have returned to their normal feeling of warmth and fuzziness!" Starfire cheerfully, hugging herself.

"'Bout time, I was getting bored listening to you guys bitch." Cyborg said with relief, putting away his Hustler issue.

"I feel better too, except my vag is sore from Beast Boy's wang attacking it all yesterday." Raven said in her normal monotone.

"That was waaay too much information!" Cyborg said wide-eyed.

"Oh yes, I'm awesome! Go Beast Boy, and your horse cock! Get funkai!" Beast Boy tap-danced around the room.

"Please friends, what is a 'vag' and what is a 'wang' and why did friend Beast Boy harm friend Raven?" Starfire asked curiously.

"Ummm" the three chimed in unison.

Robin was still writhing on the floor in pain, "AAAARRRRRRGGG! INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!"

"INSANE IN THE BRAIN!" The other four Titans followed up, causing Robin's headache to reach such a point that he passed out from the pain.


"Sooooo, what now?" Beast Boy said, bored.

"Well, you and Robin both got laid this chapter and I still haven't!" Cyborg said angrily.

Suddenly and for no apparent reason the door slid open once again, and a tallthin girl with blonde hair came in, "I'm back! (Who didn't see that coming from a mile away? Oh…right) Beast Boy we can fall in love again!"

"Tch, screw that noise. I'm with Raven now, sorry babe." Beast Boy said smugly from the couch while Raven came over and sat on his lap and nibbled his ear while giving Terra a he's-my-Kool-Aid-now-so-you-can-just-back-off-bitch glare.


"Oh, I am most sorry friend Terra, but it is glorious to see you back!" Starfire said embracing the girl.

"Thank you so much Star. You're such a good friend." Terra said hugging her back.

"Murderous slut." Starfire said under her breath.

"What was that?" Terra asked.

"Oh… nothing." Starfire cooed sweetly.

"Welp, that was fun, but as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I still haven't been laid in this story, what a crock of shit!" Cyborg complained.

Terra stood up quickly, "I'll let you screw me! I've always wanted to sleep with a black man!"

"Hmmm, now where would I find someone, damn there are so few places." Cyborg said, deep in thought.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!" Terra said, waving her hand in the air.

"Beside, most women are who aren't scared of the masculine aura I exude are overwhelmed by the idea of doing a robotically enhanced black dude." Cyborg said smugly.

Terra jumped up and down in front of him, "I want you to bang me!"

Cyborg looked down at her slowly, then shrugged, "Hey, a vag is a vag! Plus I've always had a thing for blonde white chicks." he said practically.

"Boo yah! Score one for Terra!" the blonde girl celebrated.


So it begins... again... (A/N: Some of the chapters after this will be edited versions of older chapters and some will be bran' torture spankin' new. Also, the following chapters won't have so many author's notes. If any. So, peace easy, and Good Night.)