I Finally Found Someone
Chapter 15: Final Decision
The morning appeared from the midst of the Academy grounds. The birds began to sway their wings and shake their tiny body, as it was a preparation for the new day that had started. It was an ordinary day though for everyone in the Academy, to be exact.
Natsume, the black cat, made his way to a place where Persona had instructed him to go. It was their meeting place in the midst of the forbidden forest—a place where only he and the bastard Persona only knew.
At the right, he noticed various trees standing restlessly and the grass that bloomed in its purest green. He concluded how great was the beauty of nature. And then wished that someday he would be one of those wonders which beauty was admirable and not scary.
As soon as he reached the place, Natsume gestured towards another tree and rested his back on its bark. He closed his eyes. It was odd not to find Persona around. He always came earlier than Natsume, as the matter of fact.
Natsume found his eyes glancing around the forest again the exact moment he thought about Mikan. And as he realized that he was being drowned in the same thoughts of her, he then shook his head to get the thought out of his mind, but found it hard and impossible. He sighed and decided to rest his head as he sat on the grass still leaning on the wood.
The thought about this ridiculous competition he and Ruka had started then appeared somewhere inside his mind. He can't believe that he was now experiencing this competition over a girl who he think was the dumbest and sweetest girl he have ever met. He and the other one were after her, the only Mikan Sakura, who had succeeded in winning their hearts. It's crazy to think that the girl had this power to make his mind upside down yet she wasn't the most ideal girl a perfect man should dream of.
But how can a strong, cold, and hard like himself became so weak over a simple girl like Mikan? Natsume smiled to himself. He was just a human—and humans have many weaknesses in which hard to overcome. Though he was built strongly as a weapon, he wasn't perfect because he had such qualities of a human.
His thoughts were disturbed as soon as footsteps came. Natsume lifted his head to the left. "You're late."
Persona smiled. "You're early."
Natsume stood up, placing his hand on his pockets, and looked at Persona irritably. "What is it that you want this time?"
"I called you to discuss some important things."
"What are those things?"
Persona turned his head over his shoulders before answering, "why didn't you listen?"
Natsume gave a groan. "Get to the point."
"About that kitten. You think you could kept all of this from me, didn't you?"
Natsume was shocked a little. How come that he forgot about Persona's orders?
"Alright," said Natsume, "I'll stop this nonsense." Natsume turned around and was about to leave.
"I'm not saying that you should stop flirting with that girl."
Natsume stopped. "What are you talking about? This is what you want, right? You want me to stop caring about that girl and focus more on the missions."
"That's what I wanted to happen," said Persona. He gestured toward Natsume and went in front of him. "But I am not god to stop your feelings though I wanted it to disappear."
Natsume clenched his fist. "The command you told me when we were outside the dormitory, if what I thought was wrong, what is it then?"
Persona heaved an evil laugh. "That wasn't actually a total command. It was more of a suggestion."
He walked three steps on the right with his hands tightly together on his back. "We, in the academy, hold you as the famous 'black cat'," he started, "but as a Natsume Hyuuga, you hold yourself." He smiled evilly. "So anything that goes in your life depends on your decisions. Your decision to love this girl is not our concern anymore. Don't get me wrong Natsume. That's our rule in this academy."
"I don't care about your rules. What I want to know is why the hell did you do that to me?"
"I told you already. That's a suggestion."
"Why would you give me a suggestion?"
Persona rubbed his palm. "Let's say that I'm a little concern; concern that you might end up so badly and that might affect your actions towards missions."
"How come you had those nonsense conclusions?"
"That wasn't a nonsense."
"Then stop making suggestions. I don't need your opinions." Natsume started to walk again in attempt to get away from him.
"Do you think she will love you?"
Natsume stopped. "Even if she wouldn't love me back, I would still continue loving her." His eyes softened. "Loving her is the only thing I knew to continue this cruel life."
"If she did love you someday, do you think she will stay on such feelings? How can she love someone like you? You're dangerous."
Natsume fell silent. "That's none of your business."
"Do you think I didn't know? You made a deal with Ruka Nogi and promised to win the girl's heart. Have you gone mad? I thought you were smart enough."
Natsume's tempered went ill. He was angry. "And what was that suppose to mean?"
Persona became serious as he looked at him. "You weren't thinking. All you think about is yourself not knowing the possible consequences that girl might face some day. She can't love you. Why? Because even if she have the feelings, it wouldn't last long once she finds out how dangerous you are. Instead of loving you even more, she will be frightened of you."
Persona sighed. "Besides, once your enemies find out that you have a special someone, they might use that opportunity to beat you. That will only put her life at stake."
Natsume's eyes opened wider and were now looking at Persone. He was right, he thought. How come he became so dumb and selfish? He will only make her life more miserably. He can't continue loving her. More importantly, he shouldn't make her fall in love with him. He can't… he must not…
"See?" Persona walked and stopped a few inches behind Natsume. "Think about the things I told you. It's also for her sake. More importantly, it's for the academy. We can't afford to have problems just because of that girl. She must not know about our works, Natsume."
Persona left Natsume at the forest. A smile crept on his face.
Ruka happily watched the birds outside his window. "The birds are happy today," said Ruka. Then his bunny went to him. "Hi there."
There came a knock. Ruka turned around. "Coming!"
He opened the door only to find Natsume in his uniform and tired feature.
They stared at each other for a moment. Ruka guessed that something happened to his friend. He can see it right through his eyes. "Hey."
"Hey." Natsume let himself inside Ruka's room.
Ruka closed the door before turning to Natsume who was now steadily standing. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing special," Natsume answered. "I just need to tell some important things."
"What is it?" Ruka offered Natsume a seat. Natsume sat down over a comfy sofa and stared on the ground before lifting his head to face Ruka. "I don't want to continue."
Ruka was puzzled. "Continue?"
"I don't want to do this anymore. I give up Mikan."
Ruka stared in surprise. He didn't expect to hear this from Natsume. All was so sudden that he failed to speak for half an hour.
Natsume simply stared at him as he waited for Ruka. He needed to know his approval over this. Besides, he knew his friend has questions that must be answered.
"What are you saying? Why so sudden?"
"I simply give up. Nothing really spe-"
"You're lying again!" Ruka stood up and walked in front of Natsume. "What happened?"
"It isn't your concern!"
"It is! You love her!"
"That's right. That's why I have to give up."
"Why are you doing this?" Natsume said, "You should be happy. Now that I give up on her, you should be celebrating now."
"That wouldn't make me happy. You know that."
"That. How can you be so sure?"
Ruka opened his mouth but failed to say something. He found it hard to give reasons. He looked down and cursed his self. Somehow, he was happy to know that Natsume wouldn't be a problem anymore. But he knew, Natsume knew, that he's not that type of person who will be happy in this kind of situation. He felt like he was betraying Natsume. And that didn't feel good in his part.
"Several things. I wouldn't lie to you. I simply choose the right path for my life; your life; and Mikan's life."
"That doesn't make sense."
"It doesn't matter now. You don't have to understand."
"But I have to. I need to know."
"Let's stop this." Natsume stood up and stared at his friend. "Take care of her… for me."
Natsume left the room leaving a confused and sad Ruka.