Yes, you did read the summary correctly. This is ReiBALCOV, as in Boris Balcov, as in creepyoldsexyrexyman Balcov.

Now that's out of the way. A few months ago I was dared by Braeca to write a ReBa just 'cause. I believe this is a case of be careful what you wish for. Because I, being the wonderfully community minded person that I am decided that everyone needed to share in the beautiful vision that was painted for me. That of Rei and SexyOldManLove.

In other words, I was bored and found the concept just too hilarious to give up.


Warnings: ReBa. Read Entirely Bathe Afterwards.

Balcov grimaced as the alcohol burned its way down his throat.

"Have I seen you here before?"

The purple-haired man smirked into his now-empty glass. "That has to be the worst pick-up line I've ever heard." He said mildly as he placed his glass firmly down on the bar. He looked boredly over his shoulder at the Chinese man beside him. "What are you doing here?"

Rai rolled his eyes and seated himself beside the elder. "What do you think I'm doing here?" He asked.

"Well, it's not to pick me up" Balcov said glumly, raising his hand to signal the barman for another drink.

Rai gently placed his hand on Balcov's and forced the other to lower it. He shook his head at the hovering barman. "I think you've had enough." He told Balcov firmly.

The Russian sighed and stared at the bar miserably. "You're probably right." He said finally."

"Go home."

The elder of the two looked at the younger with a raised eyebrow. "Since when do you want me to go home? I thought you would have been happy with this."

"But Rei isn't. He hasn't been able to string a full sentence together since you left. It's disturbing me."

Balcov smirked down at the bar, not wanting to actually look at Rai. "You know that he'll be fine. He'll be better than fine- give him some time and he'll forget all about me."

"Stop lying." Rai said, a hint of anger in his voice. "I don't appreciate people lying to me. You haven't seen him, I have. He needs you right now."

Balcov rolled his eyes and signalled the bartender for another drink, not giving Rai a chance to stop him. "I'm the last person he needs. What he needs is a tub of ice cream and for his best friend to stop trying to do the impossible. I'm not going back, Rai."

"Why not?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Balcov asked, raising his full glass to his lips. "The same reasons you've been telling both Rei and I since I moved in." He took a short swig of his drink and exhaled loudly, placing his cup back on the bar.

Balcov raised his now glass-free hand and began counting off the arguments Rai had used throughout the duration of his and Rei's relationship. "I'm a bad influence on him, I have a less than agreeable past that seems to keep on biting Rei in the arse, You don't like me and that keeps on biting Rei in the arse." He paused to take another quick sip of his drink. "Not to mention that when I was having my 21st birthday Rei's mother was still changing his nappies."

"That doesn't change how Rei feels about you."

Balcov finished his drink with one final gulp and began to dig around in his pockets, eventually pulling out a high denomination note. He held it up for the barman to see and placed it carefully on the bar, avoiding putting the money in any spilt alcohol. "He'll get over it." Balcov told Rai flatly as he stood up from his seat at the bar. "Go back to him and give him mint chocolate chip ice-cream." The purple-haired man smiled sadly. "It's his favourite."

"Ice-cream isn't going to fix anything." Rai said, frowning.

Balcov shrugged and walked away from both the bar and Rai. "It'll help." He said simply as he left the building.

Rai sat in the bar for another ten minutes, not ordering anything before he left to go and buy a tub of mint choc-chip.


Rai opened the door of Rei's apartment cautiously. "Rei?" He called. "I come bearing ice-cream."

Upon not getting an answer, Rai went in search of Rei, finding him in the same position that he'd left the Chinese man in, curled up and leaning against the wall in his bedroom. "Rei?" He asked again, quietly. He moved to crouch in front of the desolate man.

"What type?"


"What type of ice-cream." Rei elaborated.

Rai showed Rei the carton and was surprised to see Rei smiled sadly at he read the label. Rai raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation.

Rei didn't disappoint. "Balcov had this weird belief that all ice-cream flavours had a meaning."

"Eh?" Rai asked intelligently.

"Like, it changes for different people but I like to eat chocolate ice-cream when I'm happy."

"Who doesn't?" Rai interrupted with a half-smile, relieved that Rei was speaking again.

Rei smiled briefly at the comment as he continued to study the ice-cream carton. "Anyway, he noticed that and also that when I'm sad I tend to eat mint. It's weird because normally I'm not that much of a mint fan but when I'm sad I crave it."

Rei held up the carton for Rai to see. "He always used to buy me mint choc-chip when he had done something that hurt me or something happened and he was sorry about it but didn't know how to say it. The mint's there but so is the chocolate. It's kind of like his way of telling me things will get better."

Rei sighed and put the carton back firmly on the floor. "He's not coming back, is he?"

Rai shook his head. "I don't think so." He said quietly. He took a breath before he looked up into his best friend's face. "I'm s-"

"No you're not." Rei interrupted. "This is what you predicted from the start."

Rai bit his lip and looked away from Rei, not wanting to confirm what they both knew anyway. "I should-"


"I was going to say that I should get you a spoon for your ice-cream but I'll go if you want."

Rei smiled sadly and nodded. "Thanks." He said shortly.

Rai sighed and nodded back. "Do you want me to get you that spoon before I go?"

Rei shook his head. "No, thanks, I'm right. Go home."

"I'll be back tomorrow." Rai promised, reaching out to touch Rei's shoulder. "Get some rest."

Rei nodded slightly, letting Rai know he'd heard. "Good Night."

Rai gave his best friend a small smile before reaching up to ruffle Rei's hair affectionately. "Night." He said, grinning as Rei batted his hands away. "See you in the morning."

Rei grunted at Rai, waiting until he heard the sound of the apartment door closing before he moved to find a spoon.

Rei dug into the ice-cream container with relish, ignoring how sloppy it had become on its journey from the supermarket to Rei's apartment.

He chewed on one of the chocolate chips thoughtfully, remembering the way that Balcov had just left without any warning and nothing but a mumbled explanation that Rei would be better off without him.

Rei bit his tongue, the pain pulling him sharply out of his thoughts. He sat back against the wall with a sigh, tasting the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. The Chinese man stared listlessly at his tub of half-melted ice cream

Come home, Borya


Balcov walked the streets of the town unseeingly, turning corners on automatic. People who were foolish enough to get in his way soon got out of it, recognising that the purple-haired man was stopping for no one.

Which would have been all well and good, had Balcov had a clue where he was so determinedly heading.

His eyes refocused on his surroundings in time to notice that he was passing an adult store. He smirked slightly as he remembered the one time he had persuaded Rei to venture inside with him. The blush on the Chinese man's face hadn't faded until they were well clear of the store in question.

Though, Balcov reflected sadly as he recalled the second half of that memory, the smirk fading. Rei's magically disappearing blush had been due to their encounter with Boris, a remnant of Balcov's past.

Boris had been tiny when Balcov had found him, nothing but a waif on the street waiting to die in the Russian winter. Balcov didn't know the boy's true first name. Boris had named himself – taking on Balcov's lesser-known first name as a sign of respect for his idol.

Balcov had screwed with the young boy's mind – whether it was out of boredom or a morbid curiosity he still wasn't sure. What he was sure about was that when he and Rei had encountered Boris the anger that Balcov had instilled in the youth was still very strong in the grown man.

That had been an occasion for mint choc-chip ice cream while Balcov nursed both his own and Rei's injuries.

He hadn't realised that Boris still lived in this town. It had been about ten years since he had left his old life behind. He had left another teen in charge of the group-of-sorts he had formed.


If Yuriy was still in town that was more than enough reason for Balcov's departure from Rei's life. Boris was frightening but Yuriy was dangerous.

Balcov frowned and shook his head, trying to shake the image of the redhead from his mind. He was yet another achievement in the arena of human cruelty that Balcov would sooner forget.

And Yuriy was yet another reason that Balcov couldn't be around Rei any more.

Balcov stopped dead in his tracks, realising where he had walked. He looked up at the tall building that housed Rei's apartment. Balcov caught himself trying to discern which one actually was Rei's apartment and looked down at the ground, ashamed of himself.

I didn't mean to come here. He assured himself, forcing his feet to begin walking away from the place he had called home for the past year. I'm leaving town in the morning anyway- that way I'll never intrude on his life again.

He ignored the empty feeling that he got in the pit of his stomach thinking about the prospect of never seeing Rei again. What he felt wasn't important. Rei needed him to leave.

Balcov growled in frustration as he realised that while he was musing he'd walked around the block to end up in front of the building again. He glared down at his feet, silently blaming them.

"Fuck this." He mumbled to himself, turning away and determinedly marching from the building. Even being this close to Rei could endanger him.

Balcov lasted all of five steps before the cold Russian wind whipped up, making him shiver despite being used to colder temperatures without the thick jacket he wore. He turned around again, the wind giving him an excuse to say his final goodbyes.

Just for a few minutes, he promised himself as he jammed his key into the front door of the apartment building. And I won't go inside- or knock on the door or anything. He continued to vow to whoever was listening.


A few hours later, Rei stared at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. He had been lying in the bed that was now solely his for the past what felt like days.

He sighed and closed his eyes again, trying to ignore the pre-dawn light that was filtering underneath the curtains covering his windows. Thankfully he didn't have anywhere to be that day. He was free to lie in bed.

And with that thought came the irresistible urge to get up. Rei frowned with his eyes still closed and rolled on to his side, trying to get comfortable in his suddenly hard and lumpy bed.

Eventually he gave up the struggle and sat up, dully surveying his room, noting the empty ice-cream tub and the dirty clothes he had simply left on the floor before crawling into bed.

Rei swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood, swaying slightly as the full brunt of his exhausted yet forcibly conscious state hit him.

He shook his head, ignoring the way that the room spun at the motion. He looked at the ever-increasing glow filter from beneath his curtains and walked over to his chest of drawers, deciding to go for a walk. Maybe that would clear his head.

Rei searched for his oldest, baggiest clothes and threw them on, noting how the dull shades of grey seemed to suit his mood of the moment. He zombie-walked into the bathroom and quickly neatened his hair, tying it into a long ponytail.

He looked at himself in the mirror and raised an eyebrow, noting the large bags under his eyes and his overall 'I haven't slept at all' demeanour.

Deciding that no one would be looking at him anyway, Rei shrugged and reached for his keys, mentally deciding what route he was going to take.

He opened the door and stopped, shocked.

Across the hallway sat the huddled form of Balcov. Rei took a step backwards, trying to figure out what to make of the situation before a soft snore reached his ears. Rei smiled fondly at the small noise.

Rei shut the door of his apartment quietly before walking slowly towards Balcov's sleeping form, half afraid that the elder would disappear again.

You didn't leave. He thought, wonderingly as he crouched beside the purple-haired man. He reached out to smooth back Balcov's hair gently, his smile softening as the elder didn't stir.

Thank you


Rai ran a hand over his face, mind pondering what he could do to get Rei out of the house. He listened to the elevator 'ding' still no closer to a solution.

Damn you, Balcov. He thought venomously, waiting patiently for the elevator doors to fully open. When they did Rai stepped into the hallway Rei's apartment was on and stopped short.

Outside the door of Rei's apartment lay two peacefully sleeping figures wrapped tightly around each other. Rai walked quietly over to them to confirm his suspicions. He nodded when he saw the black tuft marking the top of Rei's head snuggled comfortably into the side of Balcov's neck.

Rai sighed and turned away from the sleeping couple, walking slowly back to the elevator. He wasn't going to disturb them now.

Rai smirked as he walked back into the elevator. Maybe there's something in Balcov's ice cream theory. He pondered as he pressed the button to take him down to the ground floor.

"The mint's there but so is the chocolate. It's kind of like his way of telling me things will get better"

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