Cries Of A Raven
Summary: Naruto discovers Sasuke is emotionally unstable and has been cutting himself.
Warnings: Shounen ai, self abuse, thoughts and attempts of suicide
Disclaimer: I do not own the show naruto, nor any of the characters in this fanfiction.
Author's Notes: I do realize Sasuke is not suicidal in the actual series. But you would think he would be after all that's happened to him. So, I'm swapping the idea a bit. What if Sasuke hadn't been strong and decided he wanted revenge? What if he broke instead?
Chapter One: House Of Broken Memories
He walked slowly through the halls, each step making the worn ground creek a sound of emptiness. It echoed throughout his way, telling him no matter how far he walked, that giant house would forever be empty. His footsteps slowed and his breathing became jagged as he walked up on his room. He'd always just ran by its. Never looked at it. Never went near it. But for some reason, he felt compelled to enter it today. So he stopped in front of the door ... and opened it, letting all the memories flood back to him. Both the good and the bad ...
He stepped over the threshold. A huge wave of emotion washed over him as he looked around. Exactly the way he had left it the day he ... departed. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Despite the passing of time, it still smelled like him. The scent of dumplings and pocky. He always did eat a lot of sweets. No wonder he always smelt like them ...
He walked in further, coming to the bed he had once slept in. The bed they both had shared on those occasions when he was too scared to sleep by himself. He always told him the same thing every night he had wondered into his room with puffy, tear filled eyes. You are a Uchiha who posses the strongest power. You should not fear something as trivial as the night. Though the words were meant to be scolding, he always said them with a smile in his voice, opening his arms out to him to guard him through the night. He bit his bottom lip.
"Onii-chan ..." he sobbed. There was no sense in trying to hold back his tears. Nobody was there to tell him he was too old to cry. Nobody there to tell him that stupid lie of everything being all right. He fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself. "Onii-chan ... onii-chan ..." he whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. He let his numb body fall to the wood floor. And that was when he saw it. The well sharpened kunai hidden under the bed ... His eyes focused on it. All he wanted was to make the pain go away. Forget the emotional pain he was feeling overwhelm him. Slowly, his trembling pale hands reached out for the shinny kunai knife ...
He cradled it gently in between his fingers. It glittered in the soft light of the sun radiating from the window. It looked so attractive ... a weapon to cause pain. Had he once used it for that very reason ..? Slowly, he brought it closer to him. He laid out on his back and held it up over him, staring at it.
He was the only one he wouldn't cut ...
The knife came closer to his otherwise motionless body. It touched against his pale, soft skin. He bit his lip, hands shaking.
He was the only one he didn't kill ...
In one swift motion, he sliced across his wrist. At first, it was incredibly painful. It felt like his arm had been set a fire. But slowly, the fire cooled and he found himself content with his new self inflected injury. He sat up and looked down at his arm. Blood seeped out of the long slit, dripping onto the wooden floor. The way it dropped ... was almost hypnotic. One at a time, like a small early morning rain shower. So, why not make a midnight storm ...? He smiled a distant smile as he lifted the kunai once more ... and mad another ... and another ... one for every year he had left him alive. After all ...
He was the only one Itachi would not cut ...
"Aren't you hot in all that, Sasuke?"
Naruto looked his partner, Uchiha Sasuke, up and down as Kakashi asked the question. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt, black pants with buckles and chains every which way you looked, and a black sleeveless jacket that matched the pants. Now, Naruto wasn't the smartest cookie, but he knew that a large variety of black clothing in this hot weather could only equal to a scorching ninja. In contrary to Naruto's physics, Sasuke didn't look hot at all.
"I'm fine," he mumbled simply, head on hands and hands on knees. Kakashi sighed and shrugged.
"Don't blame me when you set on fire," he chuckled as he walked off.
"What kind of thing is that to say, sensei?" Sakura asked, rolling her eyes. She pointed her attention at Sasuke. "He's right though, Sasuke-kun. You're gonna faint in all those clothes."
Sasuke made a sort of grunt. Naruto snorted.
"C'mon, Sakura-chan. He's just dressing so hot so he can get sick and get out of training today. It's a classic trick," he said, grinning. Sakura gave him a dull look.
"No, Naruto, that's something you would do," she mumbled. Naruto gasped. He pointed a accusing finger at Sasuke.
"She's right! You're trying to steal my techniques, aren't you Sasuke!"
Sasuke pointed a look of annoyed confusion at the younger boy. "I wouldn't waste my brain cells trying to copy your stupid tricks, usuratonkachi," he said. Naruto growled. He stumped over to Sasuke, staring him in the face.
"Come on! You and me, right now!" he yelled, grabbing his arm. Sasuke flinched and let out a soft pained cry. Naruto instantly released him, a look of concern washing over him. Sakura ran over to the two.
"Sasuke-kun, are you alright!" she cried.
"I'm fine ..." he said, looking at the ground. Kakashi was now interested. He walked over to the group.
"Did you get hurt? Let me see it ..." he reached for Sasuke's sleeve. Sasuke jerked back, knocking his hand away.
"I said I'm fine!" he yelled. Kakashi stared at him a moment, then slowly lowered his hand. "I don't feel like training today," he whispered before departing.
"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled after him. Naruto watched as he ran out of view. Something wasn't right about him ... he was hiding something ...
"I'm gonna go see what's wrong with him ..." Naruto said to Sakura and Kakashi before taking off in the direction the raven haired boy had gone.
Sasuke cursed mentally. How could he be so stupid as to let Naruto grab his arm like that? What if he had felt the slashes ...? He kept running, not knowing where he was going. Suddenly, he felt Naruto right behind him. Damn it, he was following him. Sasuke made a quick right at the next street, then an immediate left. He jumped a wall separating the village from the forest and kept running.
"That should have thrown him ..." he mumbled as he ran. However, he was wrong ...
"Sasuke! I've got you!"
Sasuke gasped. Suddenly, a blockade of Narutos appeared in his immediate path. He tried to stop, but couldn't gain his footing and slipped right into the blockade, taking out two double gangers. He rolled into a thatch of bushes. Naruto gasped as the other double gangers vanished.
"Sasuke, are you okay!" the blonde haired boy cried, running over to his rival. Sasuke lied in the bushes, shirt torn and groaning. As Naruto approached, he caught a good look at a rather large slash on Sasuke's upper arm. "You're arm ... how did that happen?" he whispered. Sasuke quickly covered his arm with his hand.
" ...I bumped into something at home," he said under his breath, refusing to look Naruto in the eyes. Naruto frowned. He knelt down in front of the older boy.
"And the gothic get up and bad attitude?" he asked.
"I just felt like wearing something different! Is that such a big deal!" he yelled back, pushing himself up. Naruto stood up as well, a surprised look on his face.
"Is everything alright, Sasuke ..." he whispered. Sasuke flinched and turned his head.
"I'm fine ... I just don't feel well, Naruto. I'm going to go home and lie down, okay ...?" he said, trying his best to give Naruto as much of a smile as he could muster. Naruto nodded slowly.
"Alright ... I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Mhm," Sasuke nodded, taking off once more. Naruto watched him leave, eyes full of worry.
"You're not fine ... something's wrong ..."
Home. He had no home. What he had was an empty house of broken memories, never to be inhabited with happiness or joy of any form.
He once again entered the room. That feeling of pain and sadness once again consumed him. Slowly he took off first his jacket, then his long sleeved the wall, allowing himself to slide to the floor. There waiting for him was his new bestfriend, Itachi's old kunai. He picked it up, twirling it between his fingers.
"How many should I do today, Onii-chan ...?" he whispered, black eyes blank. "One for every double ganger Naruto tried to stop me with ... so thats ... ten ..." he laughed bitterly. Slowly he began making the slashes on his right arm, one after another until he reached ten. He dropped the knife and leaned his head back, crying softly.
"Onii-chan ... I hate you ..."
It was painful, very painful. But he felt as much pleasure as he did pain. After all, if Itachi wouldn't cut him with this blade ...
... he'd have to cut himself.
End of chapter one.