A Musical by C. Winnifred
(The scene is set in a shabby dressing room at the backstage of an abandoned theater. Our charaters: Glinda, Leo Bloom, Angel, The Phantom, and Annie Oakley are sitting on various chairs, tables, crates and makeup trunks in a small circle as if they were in a Life Support Meeting.)
Opening Song: There's Only Us (Sung to the tune of Life Support from Rent)
Angel: Hi, I'm Angel.
Phantom: Phantom…. of the opera.
All: There's only us
In this dressing room
or even scripts.
No door to get out
Or door to get in
No way to escape.
There is no way.
Glinda- Hello, my dear fictional characters. I would use my magical powers to get us out but I'm afraid I do not have my wand. I'm sure that we will all be able to use our best qualities to defeat the mysterious evil that trapped us in this very dressing room.
Angel- You go honey!
Glinda- My best quality is of course being popular! Since determining each of our best qualities will help us to escape let's go around the circle and tell everyone what your best quality is.
Leo- (While fidgeting with his blue blanket and rubbing it all over his face)- Umm… wellI guess I'm pretty good at math and accounting things. But I feel rather uncomfortable sharing my p-p-personal information in front of a group of questionable looking strangers.
Glinda- Well that's ok. We'll go on to the next person. What is your most swankified quality?
Angel- (While flipping his/her hair) Well honey, I guess you can say I'm Wonder Woman! I can play one heck of a pickle jar, I have outstanding taste in clothing and I have AIDS!
Glinda- Well, silly everyone has AIDS! How about you?
Annie- I'm a champeen shooter. I can shoot the blond right out of yer hair if only I had my gun, why I could shoot the mask right off this here man's face!
Phantom- No! (A clap of thunder is heard and a flash of lightening appears as the Phantom of the Opera theme song plays in the background.) No one can ever see below this mask!
Leo- Why must you be so angry? It's making me very uncomfortable.
Angel- It's ok honey, you know you can take off your mask and we'll all support you and help you through everything.
Phantom- You will never understand. (Swishes cape and marches away from the group into the corner of the room.)
Glinda- Well now that Mr. Grumpy-wumpy is out of the circle let's celebrate!
End of Scene 1
Scene 2 starts with Angel approaching the Phantom in the corner of the room while Glinda attempts to have an intelligent conversation with Annie but is failing. Leo is watching the two girls talk while clutching on to his blue blankie and sweating uncontrollably.
Makeup- (Sung to the tune of "Popular" from Wicked)
Angel: Now that we've talked I've decided to make you my new friend.
Phantom: You really don't have to do that.
Angel: Oh honey, but I do. (grins)
Whenever I see someone less beautiful than me.
And let's face it.
Phantom: Who is it?
Less beautiful than me
My transsexual heart
Is full of glee
And when someone needs some cheering up
There is no way to shut me up
I know, I know exactly what you need.
And in this suitcase
I have everything to fix your face
Won't need plastic surgery
I've achieved mastery
For it's my specialty…
I'll do your makeup
I'll fix your face
You won't be a disgrace
Little blush for your cheeks.
No need to do your hair
Who cares what you wear
Everyone will be looking at your makeup.
It's all about the makeup
And with some help from I
Kiss that mask good-bye
For it's very plain to the eye
You're makeup's really really, really really really fly!
(Angel hands the Phantom a mirror)
You look gorgeous darling!
(Blows a kiss)
Phantom: Why thank you Angel.
Angel of Make-Up (Sung to the tune of Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera)
Phantom: Where in the world have you been hiding?
Really you are stylish
I really wish I knew your secret
My skin is glowing
I used to dream of good skin
I never thought it'd be real
Now I know that my dream
Was not a fairytale!
Here in this room is my dear Angel
She is the best
Somehow I know things will get better
Oh and I love your vest.
Angel: Phantom you must realize
Dreams can really come true
I really like singing
And I like you!
Phantom: Angel of makeup
You are brilliant
And you look good in lace
Angel of Makeup
I no longer have to hide my face!
(Angel and Phantom hug and then start conversing about the Phantom's new makeover when Glinda comes and taps The Phantom on the shoulder. When he turns around Glinda shrieks.)
Glinda: (With a horrified face) You look (an awkward pause followed by a sudden outburst and gleaming face.) FABULOUS! Let's celebrate!
End of Scene 2