I Hired You Because!


House told me that he hired me because he needed someone around here with 'street smarts', can you believe that! Oh yeah and that I should know how to con or when I'm being coned, what an ass!" Forman ranted while he sad in the conference room. There were no cases at the moment so things were beginning to get a little slow.

"That's nothing! He told me he hired me because I was pretty. That's it, pretty. Not because of what I worked for but just because I shouldn't be here, because I went against the norm!" Cameron replied in an angry tone, Chase looked up at this and laughed at the two of them.

"And why are you laughing, he hired you because your dad phone up, probably saying how great you are" Forman snorted "More like his dad was begging House to hire him, get him off his back!"

Chase looked confused, "My dad didn't phone, did House tell you that…" Chase laughed, Cameron and Forman looked at Chase confused, "I don't get it, why you laughing?" asked Cameron

Chase smiled and looked at them both, "Everybody lies, House hired me because… actually you know what, I think I'll let you work it out yourself" and with that Chase went back to his crossword.

"Chase! Come on… tell us. You can't keep us in the dark here!" Forman practically begged. "I beg to differ, if the wombat wants to toy with you all to ease his boredom then he should carry on" replied House as he walked into the room and made his way to a chair.

"O come on House, I know why you hired me and YOU know why you hired me… so it is slightly amusing that they don't!" Chase smiled and looked at House who smiled in return, "Yeah okay, it is slightly amusing" House laughed, "Okay actually it's practically hysterical" with that House patted Chase on the back then smirked and walked to his office.

Cameron and Forman looked at each other and gaped, both thinking 'what the heck was that about?' Cameron was the first to ask Chase.

"Come on, you have to tell us. If anything it'll keep us entertained for a while. It's been a slow week Chase, share?" Cameron fluttered her eyelids and stuck out her lip trying but failing to look cute.

Forman sighed, "Come on Chase, what's so good that you can't tell us?"

Chase shifted in his chair and put down his crossword, "I don't think I should tell you, in fact, the only way your going to find out is if House decides hell has indeed frozen over" Chase laughed as Forman and Cameron practically ran to House to find out.


House looked up from his Gameboy as Forman and Cameron burst into his office. "Well what do we have here?"

"House please where bored out of our minds and Chase said the only way we'll find out about why you hired him is through YOU! So would you please just tell us?" Forman rambled off in one breath.

Cameron wasn't much better, "Please House, don't be an ass this time, just tell us" House looked between the two before looking through the glass to where Chase was smugly sitting laughing quietly at him.

"You two sit. Chase! Get in here!" House waited until Chase walked in before pushing the chair where his legs were resting, at his knees. "Sit!" When Chase did House continued, "So… you told those two that I would tell them about… why I… hired you?" Chase smirked, "Yep!"

Forman and Cameron looked at each other; they hadn't ever seen Chase like this. It was… strange.

"You mean I can tell them about all the naughty things you did. The lap dance, the kink… everything?"

Chase raised an eyebrow, "If you wish"

House smiled "Oh goody!"

Cameron and Forman looked at each other and groaned, "Would someone please just tell us!" Forman practically yelled.

House did three swings on his chair before looking back at Cameron and Forman, they really did seem desperate.

"Okay then… where to start lets see, I was at a night club, this great one called M2 or was it ManO I really can't remember, anyway while I was there I was watching this great singer dancer, he really was hot as well, totally into me I might add. He was dancing up on the tables and…"

"HOUSE!" shouted Cameron, "Please get to the point!"

Chase snorted, "Yeah, although gay clubs are great and all, they really want to know why you hired me"

Forman coughed, "Gay club?"

"Yes, I find them a great way to relax" House suggestively leered at Forman, who backed off. Chase laughed out loud and House looked at him, "You find something amusing Chase?"

"Yeah, the rest of the story!" House smiled at that and nodded.

"So anyway while I was there the really hot lap dancer made his sweet ass over to me and gave me such a show. Wow you should have seen him, his ass was so tight that when I grabbed it…" The groan from Chase made House laugh, "Okay anyway I decided to try my luck with this dancer so I asked him when he got off…"


Several years earlier House sat at a corner table in ManO while a male lapdancer gave him a night he would remember for a while. "So.." asked House trying to spark up a conversation, "When do you get off?"

The lapdancer looked at him and slid closer to whisper into his ear, "All the time… although most people tend to ask me my name first… seems interesting, you remind me of a friend"

"Is your friend here right now or are you just crazy?"

"I get off at 2" and with that said, he walked to the bar.

House smirked; he was definitely getting some tonight, even if he did have to wait around for another hour and 45 minutes.


It was 2am so House went looking for his booby prize, he found him pretty quick and wondered over to him.

"Your place or mine?"


House nodded and pulled him close before heading out to get a taxi, while waiting he looked at his 'date' and decided to ask the question he'd been thinking about all night.

"So, what's a guy like you doing working in a place like this?"

The guy in question laughed, "Me and my friend are both just waiting for a job to come along, were looking around you know… but we have to pay the bills while were waiting"

House nodded, "What kind of job? Admin? Computing? Astronaut?"

"No, doctors"

House narrowed his eyes and gave him the once over, "You don't look like a doctor"

"O like you'd know!"


When they got to the apartment House had the time of his life, if this guy really was a doctor he was certainly in the wrong field, he should be a hooker! Which is exactly what he told him later.

"A hooker!"

"Yeah, you'd be great!"

"Whatever. So what's your name anyway?"

"Aww, now that just ruins it! Why do you want that?" House looked over at the delectable sight, "Fine, it's Greg, what's yours?"

"Well according to you a few minutes ago it was 'God, oh God!' but I suppose you could call me…


"I can't remember Chase, what did you tell me your name was?" Chase laughed.

"Wait! Your telling me that CHASE was a lap dancer! You have got to be kidding me!" Cameron gasped in shock.

"What! You can't see Chase as a lap dancer? With that body?" House shuddered, and looked to Chase who grinned before licking his lips making House bite back a groan.

Chase finally spoke when everyone was looking at him, mostly in shock by Cameron, Forman was looking at him interested, and House well House was looking at him like he knew every inch of his body, which he did.

"What's wrong House? Want another?" Chase stood up and leaned over House who gulped. "Or is it the other things we did. The way I licked…" Chase smirked and leaned in closer "everything" Chase whispered.

House actually did groan out loud at that which caused Cameron and Forman to gasp. Chase looked across his shoulder at them, "What? It honestly surprises you" Chase slowly walked over to them and leisurely sunk to his knees in front of them, "When I do something… I do it good!" With that Chase rubbed both their legs and stood back up.

"Chase!" House grabbed his arm, so Chase looked at him, "You two shoo!" House waved the other two out, who after a few minutes finally got the idea.


"I was wondering, if you'd like to join me for a little roll in the metaphorical hay stack?"

Chase leered at House, "We'll see"

House watched Chase walk out of his office before turning right down the corridor, Chase was looking hotter than ever, and he couldn't wait to grab his ass again.