The Marauders and the Fortune Telling Doll

Summary: One Shot The doll Tom Riddle took forever to get rid of returns, only to haunt the Marauders. Includes Snape tripping over Unconscious!Sirius, and Hyperactive!James scaring people.

Note: This is the sequel to Tom Riddle and the Fortune Telling Doll. I suggest you read that one first to explain why the doll came back the way it did.

Note About Allergies and Chocolate: Look, I kinda know what happens when you are allergic and come in contact with certain things, but I'm not so sure if someone would go unconscious, so yeah. In this fic, people can get knocked out XD -spins around in chair- Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Disclaimer: The day I own Harry Potter is the day JKR sells it to me.

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James Potter yawned loudly in a… very rude manner. It was then Sirius Black followed. And afterwards, Remus Lupin shook his head sadly, and turned the page in his book. Peter Pettigrew just blinked, and continued to feed his rat.

"I just don't know, you guys…" James blinked lazily before looking out the window. "…why doesn't anything really… exciting happen?"

"You know, Prongs," Remus looked up from the book he was reading. "you know you should watch what you wish for."

"C'mon, Moony!" Sirius jumped to his side like a hyperactive dog. "you're no fun at all!" the werewolf raised an eyebrow at him.

"Haven't we enough adventures to last us years?" the brunette eyed his book.

"No!" James and Sirius cried in unison. Remus rolled his eyes and Peter just chuckled. The shortest of the four looked out the window.

"Hey… there's something laying out there by the lake…"

"Meh, it's probably just a rock or something…" Sirius said, looking out the window himself. Both his eyebrows were raised. "hey… just what is that?"

"You guys can't even look far enough to see what's laying out ther--- you're right! Just what is that?" James peeked out the glass. Remus shut his book and let out a sigh.

"You guys are just delusional." he said, standing.

"No, really!" Peter spoke. "there's something just laying there and… it's just… so curious!"

"You've got to come see this, Moony!" said James. The werewolf let out another sigh, and walked over to the window.

"It is quite suspicious looking…" he said. "but I don't see why-- hey! Where are you guys--!" He held out a hand to stop his friends from racing out the dorms to go get the mysterious whatever-it-is.

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"It's a doll." Remus said simply. The Marauders stood around the soaking object. "a very, very wet doll."

"Do you think it belonged to the giant squid?" Peter asked innocently. "do you think it'll miss it?"

"Don't be silly, Wormtail." Sirius raised an eyebrow at said soaking doll. "it was probably dumped here."

"I think it's quite suspicious…" Remus crossed his arms. "…there's something up with this doll…"

"You think too much, Moony," James let out a laugh. "there is simply nothing, I repeat, nothing--" the messy haired young man picked up the doll. "--wrong with this--"

"You will get painful rejections a numerous amount of times before you marry."

There was a silence.

And a scream.

And the sound of a body falling to the ground.

And more silence.

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"I told you! But do any of you ever listen? No!" Remus ranted on, as James fanned an unconscious Peter, who was sitting up against a tree.

"Moony, Moony, calm down…" spoke Sirius.

"Calm dow-- CALM DOWN?" the werewolf bore his teeth at his friend, who quickly backed away. "you three (though mainly Padfoot and Prongs) just never listen to me! And what is the result of all that? Something really bad happening to us! Oh, Merlin! Why… why…"

"It's ok, Remus!" Sirius pat his friend reassuringly on the arm. "I swear, this time, there is nothing really wrong with that doll, and if there is, I'll… I'll…" the brunette looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'll dance naked in front of the entire Great Hall!"

"You're really that sure there's nothing wrong with this--" Remus held up the doll. "--…thing?"

"Positive."

There was a silence.

"You will receive a doggy treat for Christmas this year."

"…"

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Remus was forced to carry the doll around with him. There was no use leaving it in the dormitories, it'd just follow the four around anyway.

Very creepy.

So, they all took votes.

3 - Against Remus

0 - Against James

1 - Against Sirius

0 - Against Peter

Oh, how the world must hate him. Remus felt like curling up in his bed and going to sleep.

The brunette sighed to himself. He blinked. He had been sighing a lot lately. He'd blame the writer…

But the young man laughed to himself. There was no writer in control of his life, so he figured he was sighing because… he just could.

Another sigh.

Mental slap.

"You will be out of chocolate in a few hours until your next visit to Hogsmeade."

Ooh, Remus was going to have a very serious talk with Sirius and James when he went back to the dorms.

Placing their paws/hoof-things on his chocolate…

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"You will get locked up in Azkaban for twelve years…"

Sirius glared at the enchanted item.

"I wouldn't do anything stupid, then, if I were you, Padfoot." Remus smirked.

"Like I would!" the dark haired man sat back on the couch in the Common Room. "the thing's probably busted."

"Doubt it."

The doll spoke again, this time to James. "The man who had me before will kill you in several years."

The messy haired man gulped. "Y-yeah… the thing probably is busted."

"We need to find a way to get rid of this thing!" Sirius rested his chin on his hands. "it won't leave us alone!"

"We should turn it into a professor…" Remus said in thought.

"Pfft, as if." the Black narrowed his eyes at the item. "it'll just get loose and follow us around even more."

"Haven't you even thought about destroying it?" asked Peter, eyeing the object worriedly.

"It would probably take some really strong magic to destroy it…" Remus let out another… sigh. The doll seemed to turn to Pettigrew.

"You will gain unsightly buck teeth."

Peter fainted.

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"No! We'll figure this out ourselves! We don't need the help of no professor!" Sirius clenched his hands angrily. "and you--" he pointed to Remus. "--you go to the library and see if there's anything up with a charmed doll."

"What?" the werewolf furrowed his eyebrows. "why don't you do it?"

"Because I would miss out important details, and would probably get sidetracked." Sirius answered with a nod.

"…" both turned to look at the doll.

"In fandom, you two will be a couple."

The two stared uneasily at it.

"I'll get right on it!" Remus said, turning to the library.

"Yeah… and leave me alone with this thing…"

"Peter and I are here, you know!" James glared. "you saying that we're nobody?"

"No… I just meant… I completely forgot you two were even here!"

"Riight…" James started to sob fakely. "I thought you were our friend…" Sirius believed it was his turn to sigh.

"You're really something, Prongs…" the man propped himself down onto the chair.

"I know! Ain't it great?"

"I'd sigh again, but I feel everyone's been sighing to much already…"

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Remus paused shortly while looking through a book at the library, and raised an eyebrow.

Everyone forgot that he was supposed to take care of the doll…. Maybe it was best he didn't remind them.

Heehee.

The werewolf shook his head quickly and got back to researching.

It had been a while, but he came across a picture, very much like that of the doll.

'Hmmm…' he read the passages.

'This enchanted doll was created in Japan around 1836, where it was shipped to Europe and kept there. No one knows how to get rid of the doll and it's haunting yet, but some ways to temporarily get rid of it include rain dancing around it and tossing it into a body of water; break dancing around it and throwing it into an open fire; or talking about the most random things to it until it disappears.

No one knows where this doll is as of now.'

Remus finished the passage, and let out a long breath, in very deep thought. He didn't want anyone else in the future to get a hold of the charmed item, so it may take a while for him to think of something that may permanently get rid of it.

It was then James raced into the library, ignoring the glare of the evil librarian. The messy haired man looked as if someone broke wind a numerous amount of times in the Great Hall.

"Oh Merlin! Moony, you have got to see this!"

Remus blinked, and stood, putting the book back where he found it. He walked out with his friend.

"What are you laughing about?" the werewolf asked.

"Oh… oh good… oh good God… Sirius… Sirius… Padfoot… he… he… found your chocolate--"

"He WHAT?"

"Let me continue, please…. And well… he… he… I don't know, it must be the dog in him or something, and he's probably really sick or something, but he ate about all of it, and now… he's laying unconscious on the floor!"

"Where?"

"In the Potions classroom." James wiped a tear from his eye. "it was quite hilarious really, he was going on about how women like his body, and before he finished the word 'body' he just fell flat on his face!"

"Why didn't you call the professor?" Remus asked, now in a slight jog.

"Oh, Peter went to do that. I came to get you so I could explain." the black haired man snickered. The brunette rolled his eyes, and continued jogging to the classroom.

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They stared at Sirius' body on the floor. James poked him with his foot.

"Is it alive?"

"Now, don't play games like that, James." scolded Remus.

"Heehee, you rhymed."

"Are you all right?" the werewolf asked, both eyebrows raised.

"Why would you say something like that?"

"You seem more hyper than usual. Are you sure you didn't get into my chocolate or anything?"

"Hmmm… well, there's either that, I'm still laughing about Sirius, Lily gave me coffee, or all three of those." James grinned sheepishly.

"I figure it's all three--" it was then Severus Snape charged into the room with a glare.

"What's going on here? Why's everyone standing around? Where's the professor? Why--" he tripped over Sirius' body. "--is Black laying on the ground?"

"Oh, hey, it's Snivellus!" James smirked.

"Potter." Snape glared. "Lupin." he got up, dusted off his robes, and looked down. "oh? What's this?" he picked up the doll that seemed to have fallen from one of the Marauder's bags. "don't you think you're a little too old to be playing with dolls?" the greasy haired man's eyes trailed over to James, who just grinned.

"Maybe. Maybe not." he paused a moment before adding, "the world may never know…"

"Oh, this is just…" Remus frowned, before bending down to the unconscious Sirius. "Prongs, help me bring him to Madam Pomfrey."

"Fine, fine…" James threw his hands up, and took the doll from Snape's hands. "I shall be taking this, thank you." Remus gave him a look that said 'Are you sure you don't want that doll?' Neither realized that they could have just levitated Sirius to the infirmary, instead of breaking their backs just carrying him over there.

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"Fans will pair you up with people like Severus Snape and even Harry P--"

"Ah, shaddap!" James snapped at the floating doll. "I should have just left you with Snivellus…"

"It would have followed us back anyway-- oh, we're here." Remus turned his head and saw the infirmary. Footsteps ran towards them.

"Oh, thank Merlin! I was looking all over for you two with the professor!" Peter huffed. He walked along side his friends and Madam Pomfrey appeared, seeing the unconscious Sirius, and levitated him over to one of the beds.

"He ate chocolate." James said bluntly. The nurse placed a hand to her forehead.

"Mr. Black is allergic."

"Really?" Remus took note that James sounded even more energetic in this answer.

"Yes, really… Mr. Potter, are you in need of any help?"

"NoI'mfinereallyIevenfeelfinejustlookatmeI'monehotdog!"

"Potter, I think you should really lie dow--"

"NoneedtoMadamPompfreyIfeelfinesononeedtoworrybecauseIamonehotdog!"

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Students backed away from James as he practically skipped through the hallways in his hyper activeness. He even ignored the doll's constant annoying voice, though he heard some words like "son" and "Lily Potter" but didn't exactly pay attention. Really.

"James, I think you really should lay down." said Remus worriedly. Now that he thought back to it, the man never really drank anything high in caffeine… or even ate chocolate all that much.

The doll floated along, still speaking.

"Ugh, just shut up for a minute!" the werewolf snapped. The doll continued to talk. "…UGH! THAT IS IT!" He took hold of the doll and charged up to the Common Room.

"HeywaitaminuteRemusdon'tleavemeaheackwiththis!" James followed his friend.

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Remus barged into the Common Room, and chucked the doll into the fire of the fire place.

It burned.

"…okay…" Remus blinked and watched the doll disappear. "…why hasn't anyone thought of this? Does fate like doing the people? ARRGGHH!" he turned to James. "And YOU!"

"…eep."

"YOU ARE GOING TO GO OUTSIDE AND GET UNHYPER!" the werewolf exploded. James ran out screaming.

Sirius walked into the room, revived and okay.

"Moony… what's up with you? Is it that time of the month again?"

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

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End

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AN I wub Remus. I really do. And then James. And then Sirius. And then Marauder!Peter. Because I do not like the Peter later on.

So, tell me what you think of the fic in a review!