This is just a little bit of fun, inspired by Thud!

I don't own anything at all, except the Sam Vimes books, which have been welded to my hands.

Enjoy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'Bugrit! Millenium hand and shrimp.'

It is Foul Old Ron

That's not my daddy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'All is provided by the grace of Om.'

It is Constable Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets.

That's not my daddy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'Ho there, good citizen!'

It is Captain Carrot.

That's not my daddy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'Pass the Wow-Wow sauce.'

It is Archchancellor Ridcully.

That's not my daddy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'Interesting.'

It is Lord Vetinari.

That's not my daddy!

Where's my daddy?

Is that my daddy?

It goes 'I arrest you in the name of the law.'

It is Commander Sir Samuel Vimes

That's my daddy!

Hooray! It is a wonderful day for I have found my daddy!

This is the first one. I plan to do a series. Coming up next… Where's my mommy?