Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. Although I wish I owned PD's anatomy.

There is more to come, but this is my first fic. Please review! Thanks...

CHAPTER ONE

Looking. Just looking at her. This was too much and she felt as if her heart was going to shatter. As she looked from one to the other Meredith did what she does best. She ran. Not saying a single word. Ran down the stairs and out into the cool night air. Breathe Grey. Just Breathe. And she went home to help someone who was in deeper than she was.

Derek Shepherd didn't know what to do. But that seemed to be happening a lot lately. Seattle was supposed to be a fresh start for him. He loved it here. The fresh air. His land. The ferryboats. How had everything become such a mess? Well he knew the answer to that. His own inabilities to do what he knew that he must. It should have been simple. Addison was the only woman Derek had ever loved, or at least used to be. Until Meredith. Meredith. He could still smell her on his skin. Feel the texture of her hair in his hands. As he felt the little scrap of black silk in his pocket, reality set in.

"Ready to go home Derek?"

Ah, and there she was. Hoping to hide his feelings, which were plainly visible on his handsome, yet tired face, he tightly smiled and left with his wife. He glanced back at the poor man still standing quietly behind him and gave him a sad smile. If only you knew. Derek knew what it felt like to watch Meredith Grey run away from you.

Addison pulled the car over halfway home. She parked on an empty side street. "I think there are some things that we need to talk about Derek,"said Addison. "Not now Addie, I just want to go home. Tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day."Addison sighed and shook her head, tired of running into brick walls when all she wanted was the truth to be out in the open. She was not a stupid woman. But for some reason when it came to the man sitting across from her, all of her intellect and strength flew out the window. "Okay Derek, but make some time for me tomorrow. We have to talk." And they drove home to the tiny trailer and just let it be.

The hospital was buzzing with all that had happened the day before. There was still clean up from the prom going on, and Bailey's interns were swamped, since they were one person short. Meredith had barely had a moment to herself all day, and her body felt as if it was falling apart. But in a way she was glad for the distraction of work. It kept her from thinking. Derek kept looking at her with questioning eyes, and she had told Finn that she needed some time to take care of Izzie. And wonderful man that he was he simply said okay. He understood more than anyone what Izzie was dealing with. Meredith knew in her heart what she wanted. But what you want isn't always the right plan of action. And she was done running to Derek Shepherd. She was done blindly trusting him. The one thing she had decided last night while she was supposed to be sleeping was that if he wanted her, he would have to come to her. Period. No more sad eyes, longing glances or whispered questions about what they were supposed to do now. He was the one who was married. He was the one with the decision to make. As nice and kind as Finn was, there was no comparison in her heart. No contest. It was Derek. Always Derek. But she was done being the whipping dog. Derek was a grown man, and if he wanted her, by god he was going to have to prove it.

And at that moment Addison Shepherd walked up and handed Meredith her black panties.

"I think these belong to you," said Addison slipping them into Meredith's hand.