Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Warnings: Violence, character deaths, shounen-ai/boy love
A/N: I wanted to try my hand at something besides humor and such… So here it is. o.o
Deceiver of Fools
It was the day of mine and Edward's anniversary. Surprisingly, I actually kept track of something so trivial, but I knew, no, thought that Ed would care, that the day would matter. We had been together for a whole year; a shocker, I know. We had our fair share of arguments and fights, some more violent than the others, but we always got back together in the end and had great make-up sex afterwards. Everyone thought we wouldn't last too long, and before I would have rolled my eyes at them, scoffing them for thinking such a thing. Ed loved me. He told me, showed me even. But I guess the people who thought we wouldn't last were right. We didn't. Maybe it was my fault for being so blind, or maybe it was Edward's fault for doing what he did, fooling me and everyone else into believing something that wasn't true. I like to think that it was his fault though, not mine.
As I said before, it was our anniversary. I was supposed to be in Dublith, checking in with my 'master' so to speak. I had told Ed that I would be gone for a week, only because I wanted to come back and surprise him, to make-up for all the times I would remain silent when he told me three mind-blowing words. I could never actually get up the nerve to return those words… Maybe if I had, things wouldn't have turned out this way.
After spending only three days in the town of Dublith, I left for Central again with one of Dante's precious bottles of wines. I have no idea how old it was, but it was old enough and good quality wine, the best if it belonged to Dante. I knew that Ed never drank, but it was a special occasion, after all. I was sure he could make an exception this once. Wine was the only thing I could bring myself to get. Flowers? Don't think so. Chocolates? Hell no. So wine would have to do. I never gave gifts anyway, so he would appreciate it.
It was late, past eleven o'clock at least. I wished I had come sooner, but my train ride to Central City had been a little delayed. Although, little is definitely a bit of an under exaggeration. The train had been at least two hours late and the ride from Dublith to Central was a few hours long. And so I got there late, but just in time to show him that I cared and actually remembered.
He would smile and tell me it was okay, I thought. I had still come, albeit late, and that was all that mattered. I used to hate that smile of his, but now I can openly say that I love it, especially when my little chibi's smiling at me. I wish I could remember when my thoughts and feelings changed for him.
Feelings? Hah. Yes, I learned because of him that I was capable of feelings, and not just the typical hate and loathing ones.
I paused at the door to our little apartment. Would Ed still be up? Of course, a voice cheerfully told me inside my head. Just like me, Ed stayed up all night and slept in late in the morning. My reasons for staying up were different than his. When he was at his desk in our bedroom, scribbling and groaning about his work and that damned Colonel, I would simply watch him. Or bug him. The latter was always much more preferable since it either wound up in an adorably flustered Edward or sex.
I loved it when it ended in sex. But an angry chibi was always a good thing too!
When I grasped the cold doorknob and opened the door, I was surprised to find that the place was dark. It was like Ed wasn't even at home. I chided myself for thinking that, though. Ed always had work and he always saved it for the last minute. He had to be home. So I shut the door softly behind myself and padded into the living room, making my way to the closed bedroom door.
Just as I was about to open it, ready to surprise my chibi and lunge at him, I heard something, something that I was used to causing not hearing.
Bedsprings. The groaning and creaking of bedsprings. I was at first a little confused, but thought nothing of it until I listened again.
A moan and a growl, whispered words I couldn't quite make out… I bit the inside of my bottom lip as I grabbed the doorknob to the room and quietly opened the door a crack and peeked inside.
The sight gave me a strange feeling inside, one I had never felt before. Coldness, emptiness… Like something froze and shattered inside of my chest. My heart was throbbing and my eyes were wide in disbelief. I even had the absurd notion that my eyes weren't working right, just like a human would.
There were two bodies tangled up in the sheets of the bed, moving and touching whatever they could of their partner. One of them is my partner…, I thought bitterly as I swallowed a lump back in my throat.
I wasn't stupid. I knew who was in that bed with Edward, my chibi. Colonel Roy Mustang. Why hadn't I seen this before? Ed would sometimes spend long nights at the military's HQ… But I never would have thought he stayed there because of a fling with this bastard. Ed always prattled on about how much he hated Mustang. So why would he be in our bed with the man he supposedly hated…?
I took a deep breath, ready to go into that room and murder the Colonel bastard.
Colonel bastard… That was always Ed's favorite insult for the man…
Shaking my head, I rid thoughts of Ed out of my mind. I had to do something; I couldn't just stand here and watch!
But before I could make a move of any sort, Edward's small moans and growls grew louder as the man on top of him continued to ram into my chibi's small frame. He whimpered and whined, begging- no, demanding more, for it to be harder and faster. His low moans grew closer together until they were a staccato of noises as his body thrashed and writhed beneath the bastard.
"R-Roy!" he cried sharply as he held onto the man tightly, clawing at his back. Even from where I stood, I could make out the blonde boy's expression, one wrenched in pleasure and lust as he moved his small body in tune with the bastard's own movement. His golden hair was free from it's rubber band, and his sweat-slicked bangs clung to his forehead as he panted and uttered his pleasure-filled noises.
I used to love that expression, those noises… They were supposed to be specially reserved for me and me alone.
I pulled back. I couldn't stand to watch any longer. Something ached inside of me… It hurt; I couldn't understand why though. I should be angry, furious, but instead I wanted to curl up into a small ball and wither away.
Three small quiet words brought me back to reality.
"I love you…"
I couldn't help it; my head snapped back to the scene in front of me so quickly it hurt.
Their two sweaty bodies were still entwined together, but all movements had stopped. They were holding onto each other, content with their moment of bliss together.
My fist clenched so tightly I felt blood in the palm of my hand, and my hold on the bottle of wine was so tight, it's a wonder the glass didn't shatter.
This was another moment meant for us, meaning me and Ed. Not Mustang and Ed. Me and Ed.
And there were those three words again except with someone else's name tagged onto the end.
"I love you, Roy…"
I thought those three words were meant for me too. Ed wouldn't say them often, but when he did there was a shy, bashful way to how he said it. Or sometimes it would be quick and sudden, as if he wasn't embarrassed about it. But he would never look me in the eyes when he said it like that… And he would always have a light blush on the crests of his cheeks.
The strange feeling inside of myself made itself known again, except worse. Instead of simply shattering, it felt like something was being ripped clear out of my chest. It was more painful than before… And I always deny this to myself, but this time, I'll admit it. My eyes had grown watery, but that might have been because something had gotten into my eye…
This time I pulled back and set the bottle of wine on the table in the living room, but my ears were still focused on what the two were saying in our bedroom…
"Why do you have to go…?"
"I've told you before, Ed. I have work early in the morning, earlier than you. And my things are still at my house." There was a pause and a creaking of the bed, a shuffling of footsteps and the fluttering of clothing.
"No buts, Ed. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Oh, and Ed?" Another pause for Ed's reply of 'Yeah?', "Be careful. I still don't like you living with that monster."
Monster…? My ears perked up slightly and I glanced back over at the door, confused. They weren't talking about me now, were they? Why would Mustang even know that I was living with Ed…?
"I know, Roy. But I…I have no choice..."
No choice? my thoughts echoed. Of course he had a choice…
"I wish you would let me take care of him." The voice sighed. "I know how you don't want him dead, but could you at least consider allowing the military to take him in? The labs have gotten better. It wouldn't be that bad for him."
That feeling inside grew worse as I listened for Ed's answer, dreading what it would be.
"I'll…think about it. But I…I'm…you know, a little afraid. I've told you these things before."
"I won't let him hurt you, Ed."
"He has before though…"
I gritted my teeth and glared at the door. I've never hurt him before! Or…at least not badly… And even when I did, I would be there for him! I did everything I could to help him during those moments… I even apologized to him, told him that I didn't mean to hurt him. But when we get into fights, he always knew the right things to set my horrible temper off… Yet, no matter what he said, I would always come crawling back to him, begging for forgiveness.
And he gave it. He allowed me back into his life.
I tuned out and didn't hear what they said after that. Almost on there own, my feet began moving to the chair in the corner of the room.
What should I do…? Ed didn't love me. He had lied… He didn't even want to be with me.
The bedroom door opened all the way and I saw a dark figure leave the room then leave the apartment. I didn't even have to think; my body reacted on its own. I got to my feet and went after him.
I don't remember much of Mustang's death. My head was awhirl of so many things I could hardly see straight. All I knew was that I would make the bastard pay for stealing my Edward away. Also…I wanted to make sure that no one could have Ed again if I couldn't. I wouldn't allow it. The thought of someone else being with my Ed… It hurt. I didn't want that to happen. Ed was mine, damnit! Mine!
There was cursing, shouts, accusations… But I didn't listen to anything the man said when I had backed him into an alley. I did what I did best. I killed. It's the only thing I know how to do, obviously, if I'm not a good lover. I always thought that I was. But…Ed must have thought differently.
Before I could comprehend what was happening, I was on my way back up the stairs and headed to our apartment. I still had blood on me, I knew. It had splattered back on me after I slew the bastard. I was probably the spitting image of a monster now. It was fitting. Ed saw me as a monster, after all. I also had the bastard's gloves clenched in one hand; bloody gloves to show as proof that I had killed the man whom Ed loved.
The bastard also had a gun on him… I took that as well.
I was in our room within minutes, staring down at the naked teen dozing in our bed. I took a long moment to simply study him, trying to get this picture engraved into my head. His golden hair splayed out on the pillow, glinting in the moonlight. An expression of pure contentment on his face…
I used to love it, and I still do. That's why I took the moment to memorize it… I doubted I'd ever see it again.
I cleared my throat loud enough for him to hear. His eyelids fluttered open and he looked up, surprised to see me.
"Envy…? What are you doing back so--" His eyes went wide as he sat up in bed, looking over me. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice filed with concern as he looked up into my eyes. But I knew better. He didn't care about me; he just wanted to know who I had killed.
"No. I'm not," I said bluntly as my eyes narrowed. A look of confusion crossed his pretty face… "But I'm at least better off than Mustang. I'm alive. He's not."
Those golden eyes shot wide open once again as they filled with horror. "No… You… You weren't supposed to be back so soon."
"I'm not sure if you remember, but one year ago today could be considered the first day we got together. I thought you would have known. I didn't expect to see you in our bed with another man."
He bit his bottom lip, trembling slightly. His golden eyes dropped to stare down at the bed sheets, the sheets he and that bastard had sullied. "I-I'm so-sorry, Envy…," he said quietly, but no matter how quietly he said it, I could hear the fear that laced his words and caused his stutter.
It was such a turn of events. Usually it was I who would apologize. I found that being with Ed involved having to apologize a lot. Sometimes just for teasing him and angering him. Other times because I hurt him… But I always meant it when I said I was sorry. Ed didn't. He was a filthy liar.
I tossed the gloves to Ed and he looked up just in time to catch them, surprised. "What's…" He gasped and saw the blood that was still fresh and wet on the gloves. "You r-really d-did kill him…"
I hated the tears that sprang to his eyes. I hated the look he gave me. At that moment, I hated everything about him. I should have known better then to fall for the son of that bastard. I should have known he'd find a way to hurt me in the end.
I once thought it was impossible for anything to hurt me. But on that day, I found that I had been wrong a lot.
"I brought wine," I said with a smile, one lacking any sort of warmth or humor. It was like my smiles before I had gotten together with Ed. Cold, malignant, one of hurt…
Once again, I had confused the poor blonde. Tears fell from his eyes but he made no noises. He was strong like that. He didn't like to show his pain. Even with me, he would try to hide it when something did hurt him… But maybe it was because I was always the one who hurt him. He was afraid of being hurt again…
"I thought it was appropriate. A year is a long time after all…"
I had never been with anyone for as long as I had been with Ed. Now that I think about it, I can't recall being with anyone besides him. I may have experimented a few times in the past, but I didn't care for sex as much as I did during my relationship with Ed. I didn't care for love either, though. I didn't even know what love was.
"I'm s-sorry…," he said again, this time a little less shaky. Even now, he was trying to remain strong.
"Are you really?" I asked coldly, my smile dropping.
"Of c-course! I…I love you, Envy… I can explain! I didn't…I don't know why I…"
"Why you what? Fell for someone else?"
His face contorted into a grimace of what seemed to be pain. Was he actually hurting for what he did? Did he regret it? Did he actually love that bastard or had it been an act just like the one he put on for me?
"Why did you lie to me for so long?"
There was a long pause as Ed tried to stop his tears. He failed. "I d-didn't lie… I love you, Envy. I always will. I just…made a mistake. I'm sorry…"
"How long had you two been seeing each other?"
"How long Ed?"
So I was right. He had been deceiving me for a while now. I was a fool not to see it sooner… Or maybe I just didn't want to see it… It's funny, in a way. People always thought that I'd be the one to cheat.
"I'm sorry, Ed."
"Sorry…? No, I'm the one that's sorry! I….I really am, Envy! Please…believe me…" The tears came harder and he pushed the blankets off of himself as he tried to get out of bed, no doubt to come to me. "Please forgive me, Envy…"
"I'm sorry," I said again as I raised the bastard's loaded gun and pointed it at him. If it had been anyone else, I would have loved to tear them apart with my bare hands. But this was Ed… I wanted to make sure that no one ever took him away again, but I wanted him to feel as little pain as possible, for his death to be as quick as it could. So a well aimed bullet was needed.
I watched as Ed's eyes widened again, this time nearing golden saucers. He began sobbing now, crying hard as he shook his head. "Pl-please, Envy… D-don't do this… I'm so-sorry! I re…re-really am…"
Throughout his pleading, his eyes remained fixed on my own. My head began clearing the fog away from my mind, showing me what I was really going to do…
Could I really kill Ed? The one person who I could say that I loved?
He began trembling more violently. I could almost read his thoughts, I knew him so well… He was hoping for a way out… But instead of trying or looking around, his gaze wouldn't leave me. Did that mean he still wanted me? If he didn't love me, wouldn't he have left by now?
"I l-love you… pl-please…," he kept repeating over and over again as if it were a chant.
I almost lowered the gun. But then the image of Ed and Mustang's bodies entwined together flashed before my eyes and I pulled the trigger before I could give it a second thought.
His life ended in mere moments as the bullet entered his chest, throwing his body backwards and onto the bed from the impact.
I stood there and stared, my tears finally falling as I dropped the gun to the floor.
I was waiting for him to just…get up. I swallowed back another lump in my throat as tears stung and fell down my cheeks.
He would forgive me, right? He always forgave me. He could forgive me for this too, right? Right…?
But I would never know if he would or not. I left when dawn came.
Even now, I can never be sure. Did Ed really love me? And if I had known for sure that he had, would I have killed him…?
A/N: I was trying for a tear-jerker, did I succeed? It was originally supposed to be short and simple, but I just kept writing… I know it's not that original, but it was either this one or another death/song fic I had in mind. Meh… Please review. Oh, and a cookie to whoever knows what band the song title 'Deceiver of Fools' came from.