Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

Pairing: Sirius/Remus

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Letters to Remus from Sirius.

Author's note: This is something a friend would do to me. It was awfully cute and all my other friends would wonder about us. I wish it had been like this.

Prompt: 'Letters' from Tyleet27

Author: Spirit

DEAR MOONFACE

Dear Remus,

I'd bet my last knut that this letter will reach you while you're buried under piles of books somewhere in the libary. No. Don't tell me. You're studying! RemiRemusMoonFace, really. How many times do I have to tell you that there aren't any good kinda birds hanging about the library? Do you see any cute ones? Nooo! And why is that Moony? Why? Say it with me, "because no self-respecting, good-time loving, shag-me-silly, girls have time for books." Ah Remi, what am I to do with you? Fortunately for you this letter was not written for antagonistic purposes only, and we'll just ignore the bit where you know I know you're indeed exactly where I think you are and doing exactly what I think you're doing. For shame, RemiRemusMoonFace, but shall we move on? Drumroll, if you will. I, Sirius Black, have just secured a date with the hot little Ravenclaw blond that I was watching in the Great Hall this morning. Get that look off your face! Contrary to your belief, I do remember her name. Anyway, she said sure, so I grabbed the first piece of parchment from the hand of the closest Slytherin scum I could find and I wrote this letter while balancing the paper on my knee. On my knee, Remi. So I'll see you in ten minutes for Transfiguration and if you hear me telling James there, try not to roll your eyes. Put down the book Remus! If you've read this far, you've probably only got about five minutes left. And now it's four...

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

My arse bloody hurts and I'm falling asleep. Why the hell did you decide to take Advance Muggle Studies this year? It's to punish me and James, isn't it? Admit it Remi, you might as well. I'll only hit you tonight with my pillow until you growl in that gutteral way that you refuse to indulge me with. I don't know why you think it makes you sound feral. Sure it scares the piss out of Peter, but that can't be helped. I'm scoping out Steven Hingams to slip this to you. The bloke has got to have a bladder problem. He's been excused twice already and I can see that he's setting himself up for a third, so I'll have to hurry and pass this with a note asking him to drop by your classroom and give this to you. 'Course, if you're reading this it means that you've got it good and well and there will be no need to hurt him at dinner. I think I can trust him not to read this, but just in case I'm sealing it inside an envelope. It'll serve you right if you get caught opening it in class. I can't believe it's Sixth Year and you decide to take on another advance course. MoonFace, who the fuck does that? Next you'll be telling us that you think it's a good idea to make Snivellus your Potions partner. Damn it! Hingams is making his move. See you at dinner Moony.

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

Merlin's last surviving nipple! I am never drinking again! Write it down MoonFace. Never! I hope I don't get vomit all over this. You wouldn't like that. Thanks for taking me up to the room last night. I swore that I was going to die on the Common Room carpet. I can't believe you can't get drunk! That's not fair and how the hell didn't I notice before! You know when I feel better that I'm not stopping until I figure out exactly where your 'high tolerance for alcohol' ends, right? So obviously I'm going to lie this headache off. How smart you are for insisting that we wait until the weekend to try and get you drunk. What would I do without you MoonFace? Apart from drown in my own vomit and pass out in a crowded Common Room. My head feels like someone is drilling a hole in it. Where the fuck is a hangover-relief when you need one? Never again, Moony! Never again. By the time you read this I should be asleep as I'm not bloody stepping out of this sodding room until it stops bloody spinning with me! I'm sorry for all the trouble, mate. Shove Prongs onto the floor for me if you come in and hear him snoring. He just came in to ask where you were but now I think he's fallen asleep on my toes. Oh and snuff out the candles?

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

I'm not going to be in Potions. I just got a note from McGonigall to meet her and Dumbledore in the Headmaster's office. I think it has to do with Regulus, but I'm not sure if I even want to hear. Anyway, tell Prongs I'm sorry for leaving him to fend for himself and if he gets Snivellus as his partner I owe him a butterbeer. I'm writing this at the end of my assignment, as you can see. I figured that you spent all that time getting me to do it that I may as well hand it in. Just rip it off before Slughorn sees. I'm sorry MoonFace. Don't miss me too much.

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

It's almost morning and I'm sitting here trying to think of the right thing to say. I'm not sorry for what happened tonight. The git deserved what he got. I'm not going to tell you right off what happened. Ask Prongs. I just want to make sure that when you wake up and read this that you're prepared. Prongs has already spent most of the night tearing me a new hole and as usual, Wormtail is staying out of this. For what it's worth, I only did it because the bugger didn't know when to stop asking questions that are not any of his fucking concern.

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

You haven't looked up at me in nearly an hour so I'm not holding my breath that you'll stop ignoring me when I slip this to you. I don't know what the hell to say. I already told you that I'm sorry for nearly getting you in trouble with Dumbledore over the incident. Wormtail pointed out this morning that I maybe apologized for the wrong thing. Well what the fuck am I to say? Whatever you want to hear, I'm sorry. I miss you Moony. I know that James is my proclaimed best friend but you and I have a good thing with these letters. I've been doing it since First Year and I know you secretly hide them in your drawer and reread them in the morning after your change each month. That's good right? You don't hate all of me. C'mon Moony! He's Snivellus the arse-wipe git! I don't want you to stay angry with me over him. I'll do whatever you want. I'll even walk naked to the Leaving Feast next month. MoonFace...c'mon.

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

Wave if you get this. You look nice tonight. Keep in mind that it's a ball and everyone expects you to get shagged. None of that shyness now.

-- Siri

o

Dear Remus,

We're officially miles away from each other. So, I take it that kiss wasn't as good for you as it was for me? I have it on good authority that I'm a great kisser though. Remus, don't hate me. It was just one kiss and if you don't want it to mean anything then it won't. What I said about you looking so good it made me ache and tasting good was just the stars and the Firewhiskey. You know me Remus. I say shit all the time and I do rubbish all the time. I don't want to bollocks up you and me. Not again. I'll take back the kiss if you want. I didn't even tell James about it.

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

I liked the kiss too. And after not seeing you for two months, can I do it again soon?

-- Sirius

o

Dear Remus,

Is that your hand crawling up my thigh? Subtle. Now stop. No. Keep it there. What's one good fondle for everyone to see in the middle of the library? Certainly nothing to be ashamed of, right? I think Seventh Year is going pretty well so far, don't you? Anyway, I couldn't say this upstairs. I can't say it to you out loud. I want to let you know and so I'm doing it this way. What we did was really good for me. Really good. I'm sorry I was rubbish at first and that I hurt you at first and that I know how to make girls feel really nice but I was so nervous with you, but I'm glad we got it to be so amazing by the end. I liked having you against me. Prongs is going to go mental when he hears that we had sex before he got with Lily. Sucks to be him MoonFace. I think I like you sneaking glances at me like this. Your eyes look like topaz in the candlelight. Shit. Get your hand off my crotch!

-- Siri

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