Drum roll please. And now, the much awaited chapter that promises to spell doom to Yami, its:
101 Ways To Annoy Yami Yugi
Yugi ran down the interweaving passages until he came to the huge, golden door. Gasping for breath, he grabbed the pupil of the Eye of Horus and rotated it clockwise.
"Ask him why he didn't have a nose in the volume of Yugioh!"
"Tell him that sadly the dubbers have quit using the name Yami and changed it into Billy Bob Bo Bo. Than have fun watching his eye twitch!"
"Stick ice down his pants while he's sleeping."
And there was silence. Then the door swung open in the most unceremonious way possible. Yugi realized he'd been holding his breath, and after a psychic nudge from the author released it, before he turned blue.
What did you expect? A grand fanfare and a red carpet? I mean, come on, this is the Pharaoh we're talking about!
Yugi grumbled as he slipped through the gateway.
Now you have to watch out, this next bit is VERY dangerous, there are lots of traps and-
Yugi snapped open the book to shut the voices in his head up.
"Take him to meet your favourite Egyptian High Priest pal- no, not Seto Kaiba, although that would be interesting, we are talking about Imhotep from the Mummy!
Bury him in the sand.
Give him an unlabelled can. After he's drank the contents, tell him that is was Red Bull, and tell him that he is going to grow wings.
Sing the classic- 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves…'
Try this: dye his hair white and comb it and then say "Hey Bakura? What are you doing here??'"
Yugi ignored the book screaming at him as he miraculously sidestepped a bottomless pit that had spikes at the bottom. A blade swished through the air- Yugi carried on walking, nose in book.
Nononono! You're gonna get yourself dead-i-fied! The voice chided frantically.
"Play Knock-A-Door-Run on his Soul Door.
Pretend that his Puzzle is one of those Christmas globes that you shake to make a snowstorm, and shake the Puzzle really hard."
Watch out for that sword!
Where Yugi had just been a sword lay sticking into the ground with a twang, point down. Another few thudded down.
"Buy him a Swear Jar, only call it a Heart Of The Cards jar. Every time he says that phrase, he has to put ten thousand bucks in.
Dress up identical to him, and demand that you are his long lost twin brother who he hasn't seen for five thousand years. Then demand to know where your presents are."
The chamber of water and snakes and piranhas! Not even I can cross this!
There was a splash. Yugi's body gradually disappeared from view, as he was slowly submerged. Soon all that could be seen was a multicoloured triangle, moving steadily towards the other side. A few bubbles escaped to the surface.
(Note: Doesn't this remind you of the Simpsons episode where Skinner is chasing Bart? Skinner just walks through the river without a change of expression and keeps on coming.)
What are you doing?!?! Gah! I can't breathe! Must…have…air…
Yugi's form slowly emerged from the other side. There was no change in expression, it seemed as if he'd been reading underwater.
"Give his number to a dating agency.
Give his number to a group of mad fangirls.
In fact, give his number out to anyone and everyone."
"Ow!" Yugi cried, suddenly aroused from whatever force that had been holding him.
Yes Yugi, you have just walked into the wall.
Yugi looked around. He was in the dankest and darkest part of the Dimensional Dungeons, although points along the walls were dotted with flaming torches, in an effort to cheer the place up. It hadn't worked. Besides, who would be there to see them?
OK, my cell is the second one past the one with the Bohemian Werewolf, he's a bit of a nightmare, oh, it's opposite the Scandinavian Man-Eating Snapdragon plant, the pink one, mind, not the purple one. That one has an attitude problem. The keys should be in the cupboard right next to you.
Yugi grabbed the keys and after a process of trial and error, found the right door. With a feeling of anticipation, he unlocked the door and pushed it open.
He peered in.
A tired looking girl with strands of wispy brown hair gazed up. There were dark patches under her eyes, and she was as thin as a skeleton.
"You c-came!" She burst into tears of joy, and flung her arms around Yugi. A few seconds later she withdrew them and looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm not usually this emotional, but when you've been stuck here for as long as I have…nothing seems to matter anymore."
Woah, this was a whole new personality! Smack!
"What took you so long?!" She demanded.
"Ow!" Yugi rubbed the side of his face mournfully. "What was that for?"
"That was for being related to Mister I'm-The-Pharaoh-I-must-keep-my-reputation-intact-at-all-costs-even-if-it-means-imprisoning-one-luckless-authoress-who-just-happened-to-find-out-the-truth!"
"What truth?" Yugi's eyes widened. "And what is your name?"
Don't go away folks; Part Two of The Rescue will be on after the break!