Because I found some Cock Flavoured Noodles at the grocery store and couldn't help myself. Like, at all.
Title: Don't Forget To Swallow
Author: desolate butterfly
Genre: yaoi, smut, crack fic
Summary: In which Sasuke is hungry and Naruto is a pervert.
"Right so, this is the kitchen, that's the living room, and through there is my bedroom," Naruto said, pointing carelessly off to the side.
Sasuke nodded and eyed the messy dishes in the kitchen. He set the box he was carrying down on the floor and resisted the urge to run screaming out into the street. Already the small space seemed to be closing in on him.
"Where do I sleep?" he asked.
"Couch," Naruto replied. "Unless you want me to help you with removing that stick from your ass."
Sasuke scowled and turned to face the other boy, but Naruto was already ignoring him in favour of tossing his bed roll onto to faded grey sofa.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Naruto said, grinning slightly at him, "that if you ever decide you want to follow up on that little confession you made at the hospital—"
"I didn't say anything to you at the hospital!"
"—about how I was your closest friend and you wished we had more time—"
"Fuck you, that never happened."
"—and then you kissed me," Naruto finished, triumphant.
Sasuke flushed and he headed into the kitchen, out of Naruto's line of sight, and started rustling through the cabinets. Instant ramen, a few bullion cubes, and a box of cereal. Did the moron have nothing edible?
"I didn't kiss you," Sasuke said empathetically to the box of cereal. Then under his breath, "You were supposed to be unconscious, asshole."
Naruto made a rude noise with his lips and came over to stand behind Sasuke, hooking his chin over the Uchiha's shoulder.
"Not that unconscious, Sasuke," he whispered in Sasuke's ear, and he felt the flush creeping up his neck until the tips of his earlobes began to burn.
Sasuke slammed an elbow into Naruto's gut and smirked in satisfaction as the dobe immediately stumbled back clutched his stomach, gagging and coughing.
"Bas…tard," Naruto wheezed as he collapsed back against the counter, nearly knocking over the potted plant there. "You trying to send me back to the hospital?"
"Will it get you to shut up?" Sasuke retorted, slamming the cupboard door shut and opening another one. A lonely bag of flour was all he found. He slammed that door too.
"Little testy today, Sasu-chan?"
Sasuke glared a warning that would probably go unheeded. Naruto only smiled back, the grin just a bit dangerous, just a bit feral. It reminded Sasuke that no matter how normal everything looked, it was really only two days since Naruto had almost lost control of the demon in his body, since overwhelming chakra nearly destroyed his body by burning him from the inside out.
It had been close.
It was part of the reason Sasuke was moving in. He was the only one in Konoha with enough power to put down the kyuubi if it ever became a problem (again). Of course, the other reason Sasuke was moving in had to do with his "on-notice" status. He supposed the idea was that by putting the two greatest threats to the village together, they would hopefully eliminate each other and leave the rest of Konoha alone.
Personally, Sasuke thought the idea was stupid, but he was getting cheap rent and less Anbu monitoring, so he didn't complain. Much.
"Where is your food, moron?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest sulkily. "I missed breakfast."
Naruto rolled his eyes and walked over to one of the cabinets Sasuke already checked, pulling a small carton out of it. He tossed it to Sasuke carelessly and said, "Enjoy."
"Instant noodles aren't food," Sasuke sneered, holding the carton up to dangle between his fingers. But then the label on it caught his eye. He almost dropped the box.
"Somethin' wrong, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, eyes wide, the very picture of innocence.
A strangled noise emerged from Sasuke's throat and he tossed the carton down onto the counter, where it bounced once and tipped over on its side. Clearly visible on its front was a picture of a smiling rooster and bright red characters proudly displaying the words Cock Flavoured Noodles.
Naruto calmly picked up the carton and ripped the top open. "Careful," he said, taking a kettle from the counter and placing it on the stove. "You'll break it and get noodles everywhere and I'm not cleaning up your messes, got that?"
"What the fuck is that?" Sasuke hissed, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks once again.
"Lunch," Naruto declared, pouring the now boiling water into the carton and swirling it around with a pair of chopsticks. He offered the carton to Sasuke, who immediately backed away, a look of disgust on his face.
"You can't seriously expect me to eat that," the Uchiha said, eyeing Naruto warily as the boy shrugged and lifted some noodles to his lips, blowing the steam off them before slurping them noisily into his mouth.
He smiled happily and fished around in the carton for another mouthful, ignoring Sasuke's twitching eyes.
"It's good," the blond finally replied, licking a bit of broth from his lips. "You should try it. I bet you'd like it."
"…Is this your idea of a joke?"
The innocence in Naruto's eyes disappeared to be replaced with leering mischief and Sasuke tensed, knowing that look. That look meant trouble, and most likely a headache in Sasuke's near future.
"What's to joke about?" the boy drawled, indolently. Another mouthful of noodle was slurped up, this time more theatrically and with much appreciative moaning. Sasuke turned his head but his eyes kept glancing over against his will, nervously tracking the movement of Naruto's lips.
"It's tasty," Naruto said, sucking the broth from the end of the chopsticks a little, and Sasuke found himself swallowing along with the other boy, reflexively. "Maybe a little salty…but once you get used to that flavour, there's nothing else like it."
"Sh…Shut up, stupid!"
Mortified beyond measure, Sasuke began to back up until his spine pressed against the cupboards opposite Naruto. Naruto, who was now crooning to his carton of ramen in a disturbing show of affection, only stalked closer.
"I thought you were hungry Sasuke?" he mocked, lifting the chopsticks again with another bundle of noodles, dripping with broth. He pushed it towards Sasuke who immediately snapped his mouth shut.
Naruto's face moved closer and he winked at Sasuke, whose eyes widened in outrage.
"No, no, not that way," he was saying, waving the noodles in front of Sasuke's closed lips. "First you blow on it." His own lips parted and Naruto blew, sending cool puffs of air to brush irritatingly against Sasuke's mouth. The steam from the noodles moved to fill Sasuke's nostrils and he coughed.
As soon as he opened his mouth, Naruto was thrusting the chopsticks inside, grinning as Sasuke choked on the salty mouthful which he was soon forced to swallow.
His throat feeling raw, Sasuke pulled an arm back for a swift punch, but Naruto caught it before it could hit him, gripping the hand tightly in his own. The chopsticks dropped to the ground and the carton was quickly put on the counter, out of the way.
"You see?" Naruto said, ignoring the death threats Sasuke was sputtering as he twisted against Naruto's hold. "Tasty. Although I generally like the noodles to be a little firmer. They're best when they're just wet and not all soggy-like, right Sasuke?"
"Naruto I'm going to kill you," Sasuke told him seriously, but then Naruto's warm lips were on his, and his tongue was squirming its way into Sasuke's mouth, lapping up the moisture of the broth still on Sasuke's teeth, and flicking teasingly over Sasuke's tongue.
The counter's edge dug painfully into Sasuke's back, but the only way to stop that was to move forward into Naruto's hips and arms and there was just no way that Sasuke was going to do that, so he stayed completely still while the force of Naruto's kiss pushed him back even further and a thigh jammed itself in between his legs, spreading them apart.
Naruto's other hand came up to capture Sasuke's wrist, pulling it up above their heads to pin against the cupboard door. Sasuke fought this reflexively, but the sharpness of nails against the sensitive inner skin of his wrist soon made him still. The way Naruto was grinding his thigh against Sasuke's groin was enough to make him forget everything else anyway. Every slight thrust against his hips made Sasuke's vision cloud and his heart slam noisily against his ribs.
It was a strange feeling, like a sickness that was addictive. Sasuke found himself growing dizzy and he leaned back against the counter, letting Naruto's legs and arms hold him up.
They stayed that way for a few moments, and then Naruto slid his mouth off of Sasuke's to nip playfully at his chin and neck. "Sasuke," he panted against his skin, "you're not pushing me away."
"I-Idiot," Sasuke growled, bucking a little against Naruto's weight. "You're holding onto my arms."
Naruto gave him a long look then, which clearly expressed his disbelief that Sasuke was unable to free himself easily from such a grip, and Sasuke averted his eyes with a frown. He tensed to break away, but then Naruto was back, pressing insistently against him, gently coaxing his way into Sasuke's mouth with small licks and suckles.
"It's fine," he murmured, the words coming out jumbled and almost incomprehensible against Sasuke's skin. "I'll take care of it."
Sasuke did and didn't want to ask what "it" was, but before he could make up his mind, the hands holding his wrists released him and moved to the snaps on his pants which were hastily pushed down around his thighs. And then he was being hoisted up onto the counter and Naruto's mouth was on him, around him, everywhere and Sasuke's head fell back and he clutched at Naruto's shoulders until his nails tore into the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
It took an embarrassingly short amount of time.
A few slow swallows and deep hard sucks and Sasuke was spilling himself into Naruto's mouth with a strangled moan. He opened his eyes (he didn't remember closing them) to find his arms twined tightly around Naruto's head, hands fisting the blond hair and keeping him close against Sasuke's thigh.
Naruto didn't seem to mind that much. He lapped teasingly at the sensitive underside of Sasuke's softening member until Sasuke hissed and pushed him away, scrabbling to pull his pants and underwear back up around his hips.
"I suppose—I suppose you want me to return the favour," he spat, when he could speak again.
Naruto chuckled and straightened from his crouched position on the kitchen floor, and Sasuke saw his hands slip from the waistband of his pants. "Naw," the kyuubi vessel said, wiping the hand on his thigh and leaving a shiny streak of clear fluid there. "I'm good. You're pretty nice to watch, you know."
Sasuke flushed—for the umpteenth time that day—and scowled, pushing Naruto back further so he could move out from the counter he was trapped against. As he moved past the other boy, a twinge in his back made him wince. There would probably be bruises there he'd have to explain to Sakura when she gave him his medical check-up the next day. Great.
He could feel blue eyes watching him lazily as he grabbed the cup of instant noodles that had started the whole thing and tossed it in the trash. The damned rooster winked up at him from a pile of wadded paper towels, laughing at him and Sasuke let the lid fall with a decisive bang.
"So…" A pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and Sasuke's stiffened, hands clenching into fists. Naruto nuzzled possessively at his ear. "Should I move your stuff to the bedroom then?" he asked.
Breaking Naruto's nose with a well placed punch didn't really answer the question, but it made Sasuke feel better.
He didn't even regret it later that night when it was apparent that trauma to the nasal passage made Naruto snore. Because smothering the blond with a pillow and kicking him out of his own bed to go sleep on the couch was a rewarding experience in itself. So rewarding, that Sasuke let the dobe crawl back into bed beside him in the dawn hours and curl around him like a pet without much more than a grumbled insult.
That night and every night since.
Commentray is appreciated.