Title: Moment's Indecision
Chapter: Oneshot/Ficlet
Type: Fanfiction
Fandom: Tokyo Babylon (by CLAMP)
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 3,035
Notes: For jjblue1 (J.J. Blue). It's 2 A.M., and I just wrote a fic rather quickly. Forgive.
Summary: Seishirou is not as comfortable being alone with Subaru as he likes to pretend.


Moment's Indecision


The pillows were arranged in a half-haphazard manner, very unlike when Hokuto was in charge of organizing the living room for a tea party. The pallet on the floor consisted of cushions and a few blankets, and further down, a pair of discarded clover-motif house shoes and pink-striped socks. Seishirou paused before entering, eyes flicking to the darkened sky beyond the open window and back to the strangely at ease boy settled comfortably on one of the cushions. It seemed almost a sin to disturb him, settled there so placidly.

"Has Hokuto-chan called today?" he asked pleasantly, announcing his presence. His voice echoed loudly in the room. Jarring.

Subaru looked up from his book, eyes calm and content.

"Yes, she called not long ago," he said softly, thumbing a page in his book, and placing his bookmark in the crevice where two new pages met. "She says she's doing well, and she's going to be coming home this Thursday." A quick smile – crinkling corners of eyes.

Seishirou had expected more melancholy at the girl's absence, or at least more fidgeting on the boy's part. Especially since there was a storm blowing in. Subaru always twitched at the sound of thunder. And they were alone – that had to add to his discomfort. He made his way across the floor, feeling oddly as if his loud footsteps disturbed the tranquility Subaru had created in this room, despite its state of disorder. Ridiculous, that notion. Seishirou was a trained assassin, and his movements could be as quiet as he needed.

He eased himself down onto a cushion adjacent Subaru, carefully setting the tray holding the teapot and teacups on the floor in front of them. Subaru put down his book and lifted his clear green eyes shyly. Then, he pushed a school notebook with squiggles and equations in the margin to the side, also removing his pencil from behind his ear and setting it in the small, newly made pile. Afterward, he refocused his attention on Seishirou, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. He didn't say "thank you" outright for the tea, but there was a gentle gratitude in the depths of his eyes.

Seishirou stared for a long, drawn out moment, finding amusement in the bashful staring contest, before seeing to the tea. He poured it slowly, demonstrating his skill at doing so by managing to keep eye contact with the boy for the majority of the time he was doing it. The tea was steaming and hot, with a hint of wafting mint in its scent. Carefully, he transferred a cup to Subaru's hands, making sure to prolong the touch of their fingers and seeking to ignite the comfortable routine of flustering the poor boy.

But Subaru only smiled serenely, taking the cup with an unhurried grace. Subaru nodded at him, sipping it demurely and sighing softly in pleasure at the taste. Seishirou watched as the heat colored his lips just a tad darker. Despite himself, he ran his tongue over his own lips, searching for a nonexistent taste that had nothing at all to do with tea.

"I've nearly caught up," Subaru murmured shyly, at odds with being the one to begin a conversation.

"Hm?" Seishirou hummed, tilting his head just slightly to the side. "With work?" he asked politely, taking a sip of his own tea.

"No, Seishirou-san," Subaru said breathlessly, tone giddy with unsuppressed pride, "with my schoolwork!"

Seishirou's eyebrows rose slightly in surprise before he made a show of being impressed.

"That's wonderful, Subaru-kun!" he gushed, eyes squinting into twin arches of glee. "But you haven't been working too hard, have you?" he added as a serious afterthought, setting his cup down. "You haven't been forgetting to sleep or eat while focusing on this schoolwork?"

Subaru blushed and fidgeted a bit – the first real sign of the awkward teenage boy Seishirou was used to seeing. He twisted the fabric of his gloves with his fingers and shook his head.

"A-actually, I haven't had nearly as much real work to do this week, and I've been able to go to school three times, and my teachers have been really helpful in letting me make up my work. Now, I'm almost caught up enough to do the regular assignments."

He was positively glowing. Unconsciously, Seishirou leaned forward, basking in that light just a bit.

"Is that so?" he murmured, swirling his tea around in his cup. "Won't Hokuto-chan be happy to hear that," he said, secretly wondering if the girl's sudden trip to Kyoto had anything to do with Subaru's lack of appointments this week.

"Ah, I already told her over the phone," Subaru murmured, turning his gaze to his tea. "She was glad for me."

He was dressed notably tame, compared to when Hokuto was around, in basic gray pants that Seishirou guessed were among the loosest of what he owned and a rather large tee shirt that swallowed his willowy frame and exposed his collar bone. The skin there was taut over the bones, and Seishirou memorized it with his eyes, trailing up the skin of a smooth column of neck, until he reached the familiar sight of tufts of hair curling around soft ears.

A boom of thunder exploded out of nowhere, and Subaru nearly dropped the remainder of his hot tea in his haste to get to the window that had been left open on the far wall. Seishirou stared at the pink color of his toes as he rose, and he listened intently to the slap of his bare feet against the wooden floor as he hurried. Subaru fiddled with the window, tugging unsuccessfully in a vain attempt to close it. But the wind made it worse – kicked up and tangled the curtains around his stretched out, lanky form. He raised his forearms to fight with them, teetering dangerously close to the window ledge. Seishirou leapt to his feet then and strode over to assist when the rain started to sprinkle inside, angled sideways by the ferocious wind.

Seishirou's hands were stronger, and his reach was much better, so it shut suddenly with a distinct click. And as the curtains died around them, falling back to place with the featherlike movements of ghosts, Subaru stared up at him, green eyes wavering with emotions that Seishirou had seen before but could not place.

"Thank you," he said, out loud this time. That out of character, tranquil mask was back in place, at odds with the severity of the situation. It was almost as if a mature, older version of the sapling in front of him had decided to visit for the night, and he found it distinctly unsettling. Seishirou couldn't come up with any lighthearted words to say that wouldn't sound horribly out of place. He settled for a name.

"Subaru-kun," he murmured in false exasperation, then: "You ought to be careful when you know a storm is coming, my dear."

Subaru's bangs overshadowed his face, casting shadows on his cheeks, and then his shoulders began to quiver. Seishirou, momentarily confused, reached out his hands to steady the boy, wondering if grief or fear might be the cause of the reaction. But to his bewilderment, Subaru's face resurfaced, squinted eyes angling towards the ceiling as he threw his head back and laughed. He had seen the boy laugh before, but that had always been confined to polite giggles – mere shadows of laughter. Now, Subaru was really laughing, mouth open and cheeks flushed and eyes closed. Seishirou felt the corners of his mouth quirk as he waited for the sound to subside, delighting in the movement of the boy's shoulders under his palms, since one side of the flimsy tee shirt had slipped down to reveal bare skin.

"I-I'm sorry," Subaru breathed, trying to get a hold of himself. "I-it's just – I was – and the curtains – and I was so scared!" It was slightly hysterical, the sound of his laughter.

"It's no problem, Subaru-kun," Seishirou chuckled, adapting smoothly and leading the boy back to the cushions. "It was actually quite funny." But Seishirou didn't really find it so, since the boy had nearly fallen outside, and that would have ruined his meticulous planning thus far. Subaru didn't complain as Seishirou helped him down to a sitting position, his hands drifting over the wet splotches on his shirt as he readjusted it correctly.

Subaru quieted down suddenly, and Seishirou could feel his eyes studying him intently. He met the gaze evenly and leaned back, balancing on his heels. He flashed a spectacular grin at the boy. They were close. Subaru smiled back generously, not at all like the sheepish curve of lips or embarrassed grimace Seishirou was expecting.

"Subaru-kun," he murmured softly, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and smiling in triumph when Subaru leaned backwards in response.

"Seishirou-san," the boy whispered quietly. The green of his eyes was penetrating.

"You seem more at ease with me today," Seishirou said bluntly, observing the boy's face with interest, as if the answers could be extracted from his very green eyes.

"A-ah! Well…" Subaru flushed a deep red, and Seishirou felt instantly better. "I-I've had more sleep than usual?" he fumbled, trying to come up with a plausible reason for his behavior.

Seishirou hummed, leaned closer and, at the realization that the angle was uncomfortable for his feet, had to go down on his knees. Subaru leaned back even further then, back arching, but he kept his eyes locked with Seishirou's.

"I'm grateful," he admitted finally, chewing his lip, "for that night."

"Which night?" Seishirou pressed, letting a sensual purr roll into his tone.

"The night I stayed over," Subaru clarified, closing his eyes briefly. His chest began to rise up and down at shorter intervals. "You took care of me – talked to me – when I was upset." When he opened his eyes again, they were glittering, as if the memory had sprinkled them with fairy dust.

Ah, Seishirou thought, he's more comfortable due to those shared words. Typical. Predictable. Seishirou schooled his face into a gentlemanly expression.

"Why, it was nothing, Subaru-kun. You can sleep in my bed anytime."

He waited for the words to take their desired effect, but Subaru was too preoccupied to react correctly, staring at his glasses in fascination, and before Seishirou could properly diffuse the interest, Subaru had pulled them from his face with a deft hand, staring hard at the lenses. Then, his eyes flicked up to Seishirou's face, staring intently into his eyes, trying to decipher something Seishirou couldn't see. Disturbing.

"Subaru-ku – " But before he could finish, Subaru had raised his other hand to palm Seishirou's cheek, and in doing so, he had taken away the support his arm had provided. Thus, given the awkward lean of Subaru's almost-backbend, he could no longer keep his balance. He raked a hand through Seishirou's hair in messy panic before falling completely backwards, pulling Seishirou's face with him. They wound up in a tangle, all limbs and hands, and Seishirou's face was buried in the exposed skin near Subaru's collar. He inhaled the scent, feeling Subaru tense up against him.

Subaru gasped deeply, thighs twitching against Seishirou's sides. The boy struggled to get up, but Seishirou let his weight sag, pressing Subaru more firmly into the cushion. There were a precious few moments of silence, and Seishirou became aware of the rhythmic sound of pounding rain against the roof, juxtaposed by the distracting sound of Subaru's inhalation and exhalation of breath, the mechanics of which he could feel against his chest. There was a disturbing voice in his head, telling him he shouldn't move. So, when Subaru surged upward again, Seishirou pressed down with even more force, this time eliciting a cry of astonishment from the boy. He grinned wickedly, hiding it in the skin of Subaru's neck.

"S-Seishirou-san?" Subaru ventured uncertainly, no doubt feeling the curve of Seishirou's lips against his skin.

Seishirou didn't answer, and instead closed his eyes, feigning sleep. He felt Subaru shift again, and he evened out his breathing to make himself more believable. More shifting then, and he could feel Subaru looking at his partially hidden face.

"Wha – ? Seishirou-san!" Laughter again – lighthearted and utterly adorable.

Ah, so Subaru couldn't be fooled today. Disappointing, really, because an afternoon nap sounded like such a lovely idea. But the giggling was adorable, and it made the boy's body bounce with movements that Seishirou rather enjoyed. Subaru pushed at him again, and Seishirou remained as limp as a corpse, a challenging and disobedient action. When Subaru jostled him once more, he nipped at his neck in warning – a quick and light signal to let him be. Subaru stilled, the movements of laughter leaving him, and Seishirou heard him set the stolen glasses carefully on the floor.

"S-S-Seishirou-san," the voice was definitely wobblier now. Surprisingly, two hands came up to find purchase in Seishirou's hair, tugging gently in attempt to make him raise his head. He refused, choosing instead to nip at the boy's neck again – driven by impulse and the electric atmosphere of the storm. He felt Subaru shudder and gasp, sputtering like a broken engine.

This time, Subaru succeeded in pulling his head up forcibly, and Seishirou was startled at the look in his eyes – a mix of desire, fear, and uncertainty. Seishirou pressed his fingertips against the boy's side, letting them slide down until they rested on his hip. Subaru shuddered once, twice, and then let out a soft sound of what might have been encouragement. Seishirou laughed deeply, feeling Subaru perk up at the vibration that traveled through his chest.

"So adorable," Seishirou murmured, amused by the boy's innocence. He tapped a finger against his nose. The perfect shade of pink spread across his cheeks, and, combined with the sudden genuine smile that bloomed from his lips, Seishirou felt his breath catch in his throat. "So beautiful," he amended, tracing the smile that he felt was too full and unabashed to be real. He leaned forward, lips hovering a few centimeters short of those lips.

Thunder boomed, shaking the floor and the rattling the teacups. Subaru twitched at the sound, jolting as if shocked back into existence. He made a distressed noise when he noticed just how close Seishirou was.

"S-Seishirou-san!" he cried out, twisting his body in an attempt to get away.

Seishirou pushed himself forward, restraining the boy's wind milling arms and crushing their lips together, silencing Subaru's cries immediately. A few seconds passed, and Seishirou felt Subaru lose power, falling backward against the cushion with a soft thump. Seishirou followed in hot pursuit, pushing their lips together more urgently. Sloppy, wet, and searching, but above all, delicious. He felt one of the boy's hand press against his chest for a moment; then, it curled into a loose fist, moving spasmodically as Seishirou pulled back for air. He didn't give Subaru a chance to express disproval as he dove in again, this time more ferociously. He pushed his tongue forward as he caressed the small of Subaru's back to coax him into submission. There was a muffled moan, and then Seishirou was memorizing the inside of Subaru's mouth – running his tongue up along every available surface. The hand that had been trapped against his chest had slid up to cup the back of his neck, leather fingertips sliding against the hairs at its base.

The kissing was quite enjoyable, Seishirou decided. It went on for a good many minutes, intertwined with innocent and not-so-innocent caressing. But before he could further explore what other courses of action might be open to him, he had to stop, as Subaru's face had taken on a dangerous hue from the lack of oxygen, and the color of his eyes swam with the glossiness that suggested he might pass out any second. Now, the boy leaned his head back on the cushion, and Seishirou snatched one of the loose pillows lying around to add further support and comfort. He lifted his weight from him, moving instead to rest beside him. Grabbing up a blanket, he settled it over the both of them, turning his attention to the plain ceiling and trying to get his sex drive under control.

The rain hadn't let up, but its rhythm was comforting, and he could almost block out the tempting sound of Subaru gasping for air. He wondered, not for the first time that night, if the boy was in his right mind. He wondered why the boundaries had been stretched and why he'd been allowed to go so far. Subaru's smile – had it been as genuine as it seemed, or was it part of some unknown obligation the boy had created in the confines of his mind? Perhaps, this was all the effect of Hokuto's absence – of stress and newborn emptiness. He let out a breath of air, deciding that the matter wasn't particularly worth pondering, so long as Subaru displayed no obvious signs of distress over the matter.

He felt the boy shift beside him, and suddenly a downy head of hair rested against his shoulder. The rest of his body followed, curling into Seishirou dependently. He was warm and surprisingly comfortable against him.

"Are you all right, Subaru-kun?" he asked gently, breath rustling a few strands of the boy's hair.

Subaru blinked sleepily, the lethargic atmosphere catching. He blushed prettily, trying to prevent a shy smile from forming and failing.

"I'm fine," he whispered, air hot and wet as it hit Seishirou's neck. Seishirou could smell chamomile on his breath, and remembered how he had tasted. "Seishirou-san," Subaru whispered again, fidgeting with his arms as if he didn't know quite where to situate them. Seishirou took one and draped it across his chest.

"Yes, Subaru-kun?"

"Thank you for the tea."

Seishirou almost gave the usual prim and proper response, that being "You're quite welcome, my dear," but instead, he dropped a doting kiss on the boy's forehead. A little surprised intake of breath and a contented sigh followed the action.

Above, the rain continued, and Seishirou wondered what it would be like if Hokuto were out of the picture permanently.