Author's Notes: This story is semi co-written with Kenpachi (the author, not the character, obviously, who is my friend, muse, and co-conspirator) and the plot was inspired by an insanely amazing camping trip we went on with some friends. AkuRoku developed into an ongoing theme of the trip, and as a result we spent an entire day or so coming up with the idea for this fic as we ran around in the woods. So the whole thing is plotted out, it's just a matter of getting it all typed up and beta'd and all that.
The disclaimer! Obviously I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any of it's affiliated characters. If I did, this would not be a FANfiction, you see? (And if I did own it, you'd know. There'd be a lot less fighting Heartless happening, and a lot more kinky boy on boy action.) I also do not own any of the songs referenced in later chapters, or Pikachu, and I did not make up the "Ten Fingers' game or "I Spy". In fact, I essentially own NOTHING contained in this story except for the plot. So please don't sue me.
Pairing(s): AkuRoku main, Sora/Riku side (there's barely any development for it, it's just kinda hinted at.)
Summary: Who would have thought so much could go wrong on what started out as a simple camping trip?! Includes rainbow rafts, marshmallow sucking, skinnydipping, boybands, and skidoos… also known as jet skis. AkuRoku AU Semi Crack-Fic.
Warnings: A whole lot of insanity, scattered profanity, lame music, and lots and lots of slashy goodness. So if that is not your thing…well… you have been warned. Flames will be used to torch marshmallows.
Other Stuff: Read and enjoy! Reviewers get ((insert an exciting, camping-related thing that you might promise to someone as an incentive to do something here XD))!
ON WITH THE STORY! 8D
Suggested food: Birthday cake
Suggested beverage: Soda pop
Suggested listening: "Aaron's Party (Come Get It)" – Aaron Carter
Where the Hell is Magic Lake?!
Chapter 01: It's Party Time!
Roxas plopped out a scoop of blueish ice cream onto a cone, handing it to the mother of a screaming child.
"Here you are, ma'am," he drawled in a bored voice, face conveying absolutely no enjoyment at delivering the icy treat, "That'll be $2.75." Roxas took the money as the woman dolled it out, watching as her child smeared the melting ice cream all over its face before promptly dropping the cone and letting out an earsplitting wail. Honestly, he didn't get paid enough to do this.
The little bell above the door of the shop let out a cheery ring, alerting Roxas to the arrival of another customer in search of ice cream on this hot, summer day. Please don't let it be anyone accompanied by a small, shrieking kid Roxas prayed, hardly daring to look up.
The blonde glanced up only to be greeted by an energetic brunette, the kid looking as if he was harbouring some barely contained, very explosive bomb that was about to go off right there in the ice cream store with all of the pent-up energy he had in him. Roxas almost wasn't sure if he would mind that happening at the rate his day was going. "Hey Sora."
Sora bounded right up to Roxas, bouncing in place on the balls of his feet and leaning forward so that his arms were resting on the counter. His grin was nearly blinding, and personally Roxas found it to be a little disconcerting. Actually, a lot disconcerting. In fact, judging by the fact that Sora wasn't even paying any attention to the ice cream display and instead just grinning freakishly at him, Roxas was quickly moving past 'disconcerted' and heading straight into 'flat-out disturbed'. Sora seemed to be waiting for the other boy to do something, though, so Roxas decided to initiate interaction.
"…What do you want?"
"Sooooo… Roxas. What are you doing for the next week or two?" Sora countered. Now in Roxas's experience, when someone answered a question with a question of their own they were either trying to avoid answering directly because they knew you weren't going to like what they had to say, or they were trying to hide something. Or possibly both. Roxas wasn't in the mood to find out which one it was, so he decided to simply end the conversation.
A pout graced Sora's bottom lip at this answer, followed a second later by an expression of utmost hope and determination.
"But you can take off work, right?"
"Are you sure?"
"But… I mean… you've gotta have some sort of a break coming up here pretty soon, right? I mean… it's summer vacation!"
"Well I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"So… there's no way you could get off work for say… the next week and a half?"
"No." Maybe if he just kept giving direct, one-word responses Sora would go away.
Or maybe he wouldn't.
"Sora, seriously, what do you want?" Roxas was getting a little tired of this game of word-tag that they seemed to have going on.
"Oh… you know." Sora began with a fake casual sigh, pretending like he didn't really have anything in mind and was just making it up as he went along. Roxas glared at him. That sneaky little liar. "I was just thiiiiinking… My birthday's coming up pretty soon here, and I was kiiiiinda wanting to go on a trip with some friends. And you know, since you and I are such good friends and all…" Sora trailed off, seeming to be implying that since he and Roxas were 'such good friends' that it meant the blonde was obligated to be dragged along with whatever Sora was wanting to plan. Pffft, that little liar. Sure, he and Sora were childhood friends and had grown up together and all, but it wasn't like they were that close anymore. Certainly not close enough for Roxas to just agree to whatever Sora was wanting for the sake of their friendship or whatever.
But then again, Roxas had not been counting on the puppy-dog-face. Caught off guard, Roxas was hit with it full force as Sora resorted to switching from the annoying, nagging approach to the "Oh-I'm-just-so-cute-you-just-KNOW-you-want-to-say-yes" approach. Darn him.
"Sora, seriously, would you just tell me exactly what you have planned that you are wanting to drag me along on?" Roxas wasn't ready to give in quite yet, but he wasn't sure how long he could hold up against the puppy face. He was only so strong.
"Weeeeell…" Sora began, drawing out the word, most likely to make Roxas interested or something. It didn't really work. "You know, nothing big… Just kinda a trip with some friends."
Dear God, why was Sora being so vague? Roxas was starting to get extremely irritated, and that was never a good thing. Whenever Roxas got irritated he had the unfortunate habit of making rash decisions to just make it all go away, that usually ended making things even more complicated and irritating than they were to begin with. And so help him, if Sora kept up his vague nagging for ONE MORE MINUTE –
"So, please Roxas, would you come? I promise it'll be a lot of fun and –"
"FINE!" Roxas snapped, rather loudly, and a few customers looked up from their ice cream to stare at him. "I'll go to your birthday thing, whatever it is."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Sora shouted joyfully, not caring that most of the people in the room were staring at them by now as he threw his upper body over the counter to grab Roxas into a huge hug. Roxas quickly discovered that it was really quite uncomfortable having your stomach crushed up against a counter while your lungs were being constricted by your friend's death-hug, not to mention having a spike of said friend's hair poking your face. "Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" Sora chanted, pulling back. "Here's a list of when it is and what you need to bring and everything, okay? I'm so glad you're coming!" A crumpled piece of paper was pulled out of Sora's pocket and shoved into Roxas's hand. Roxas cringed. He didn't like crumpled things. Sora flashed Roxas another blinding grin before turning to leave. "I'll see you later, okay? Bye!"
And with that, Sora happily skipped out of the ice cream store, singing some annoying song as he went. Roxas felt his eye twitch. Glancing down at the piece of paper in his hand he un-crumpled it, reading it over.
"You're invited to Sora's birthday adventure! YAAAAAAY! Come by my house this Saturday at 5:00p.m. for a game and movie night before we leave the next morning – that's when the REAL party begins!
Things you need to bring!!!
· sleeping bag and extra blankets
· bathing suit
· beach towel
· sun block
· water shoes
· warm sleeping gear
· extra clothes
· tennis shoes
· stuffed animals MANDITORY!!! (just kidding!!)
I can't wait to see you there! Bye!
Roxas frowned at Sora's scribbled, childlike writing on the paper. What on earth had he just let himself get dragged into? Shoving it back into his pants pocket, Roxas went back into 'professional, kid-with-a-job' mode as a customer made their way to the counter, having judged Sora's departure as a sign that it was once again safe to approach. With a sigh, Roxas took the order, not even paying much attention to what he was doing. Not that he normally did anyways, but now he did so even less, wondering what on earth Sora had planned, and if he should be prepared to fake his own death or at least a major injury if necessary in order to get out of it once he found out what it was.
A few days later Roxas found himself making his way towards Sora's house, still wondering if he had time to back out of the whole thing. He was pretty sure whatever it was the boy had planned, it wouldn't be anything Roxas himself liked to do. Obviously since they were going to be gone for more than a week they were going on some kind of a long-distance trip, but Roxas was lost as to where they could be going. He didn't go on many trips, especially not the kind he imagined Sora putting together.
Knocking on the door, Roxas shifted his bag of stuff he was told to bring, along with the boxed present in his arms. He hadn't really known what to get Sora, but eventually settled on a stuffed animal and a gift certificate for the ice cream store he worked at. Sora seemed to enjoy cute things and food, so it had seemed an appropriate gift.
"ROXAS! You're here!!"
The door was flung open, and Roxas was immediately jumped upon by Sora, who wrestled the present out of his grip while ushering him inside. Looking around, Roxas could see that a giant "Happy Birthday, Sora!" banner had been hung up in the living room, along with massive amounts of streamers and balloons. Some of Sora's insanely lame music was playing in the background and Roxas already felt a headache coming on. Inwardly he wondered if Sora knew how old was actually turning, because the party decorations wouldn't have seemed out of place for a five year old. At least there was no clown. Thank God.
"Everyone's in the living room!" Sora happily (and rather pointlessly, seeing as Roxas had a full view of the mentioned room) informed Roxas as they made their way into the designated party area. 'Everyone' seemed to include some of Roxas's friends, and for that the blonde was glad. He immediately detached himself from Sora with a vague 'happy birthday', heading over to the far end of the room.
"Hey guys." He greeted, nodding to his three friends. Olette smiled and said hello back, Pence waved happily, not saying anything through a mouthful of cupcake, and Hayner instantly pounced, grabbing Roxas and pulling him into a headlock. Roxas idly wondered why his blonde friend always had to be so assertively and dominatingly physical.
"Yo, Rox!" Hayner greeted as he ruffed Roxas's hair. "So you finally decided to show. You must be like… the last person here! Sora's been all antsy waiting for everyone to get here so he can announce the big secret surprise he's planning or whatever."
The word 'secret' triggered something in Roxas's brain, and he suddenly realized that maybe he should have been more worried about what Sora was planning to spring on them than he had been. Knowing Sora, it could be anything. Roxas suddenly became uncomfortably aware of how stupid he had been in agreeing to come without making Sora tell him what it was first.
"So… none of you guys know what exactly it is that Sora has planned?" Roxas hesitantly asked, not quite sure if he was more worried that none of them knew (because then it could still be ANYTHING), or if one of them did know and he was about to find out Sora had tricked him into some sort of rabid coatimundi wrestling adventure. Or something equally ridiculous, unenjoyable, and possibly life-threatening.
"No." Olette replied. "Sora hasn't told anyone yet, but he sure seems excited."
"Yeah, it's too bad none of us can go." Pence put in, having finished his cupcake. "Sora was really bummed when we told him. But hey, at least you'll be there to hang out with him, right?"
Roxas suddenly found himself in a complete panic. "Wait, what do you mean none of you can go?! I am so not getting dragged off into some unknown 'Sora adventure' alone!"
"Oh come on, it's his birthday!" Pence insisted, always one to be nice, and Roxas fought back the urge to point out that if they were all supposed to be so 'nice', Pence could be the one sacrificing himself to Sora's insane ideas of a 'fun' trip. "I'd go, but I've already had plans to visit my grandparents for over a month."
"I couldn't get off work." Olette explained with a shrug. Roxas glared at her. He had had to gripe to his boss for about an hour, making up lame excuses about how he was a kid and therefore needed to run free with his own kind during this sacred time of year reserved for frolicking about in the sun with friends. Not that he would ever actually do that, he'd just needed a sappy enough excuse to get his boss to give him a week off.
"Yeah, and Hayner has summer school – " Pence added as the final explanation.
"Fuck that!" Hayner put in, voicing his opinion on the matter.
" – so as much as he may want to go, he can't afford to."
"Well… what about everyone else?" Roxas asked, looking around the room. So help him, he was NOT going somewhere alone with Sora.
"Well, Namine is a little sick, so I think she just came here tonight to give Sora his present. And I don't think Kairi is going…" Olette told him, before lowering her voice to a whisper. "Apparently she has some bad experiences with a previous birthday trip. She didn't really want to talk about it."
"Yeah, and Tidus and Wakka are off at some sports camp, the bastards." Hayner mumbled in a dark, envious tone.
"I think Selphie had some sort of kids camp to volunteer at…" Pence put in thoughtfully.
"Well who is going?" Roxas asked, on the verge of panic.
"HEY EVERYONE!" Sora suddenly shouted out, cutting off any possible response Roxas's friends were going to supply him with. "Come over here! It's time for me to tell you about my amazing, super fun trip!"
Everyone kind of made their way over to Sora, who was standing on a couch, looking important. A semi-circle was formed around him, everyone waiting for him to just spill already.
"So." Sora began, puffing out his scrawny little boyish chest. "As you all know, I've invited you all to my birthday this year and told you we're going on a super fun trip! And I know a lot of you can't come, but I just thought I'd make the announcement now, anyways. So this is the moment you've all been waiting for… For my birthday… we're… going on a camping trip! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! Tomorrow morning we're leaving bright and early for the Hundred Acre Wood National Forest camping area!"
The response from the gathered crown was probably not the one Sora was going for. A few people looked at eachother, not really knowing what to say. Pence turned to Roxas, nudging him conspiratorially. "Um… isn't that place for like… Kids and stuff? It's not real camping… they've got like… marked sites and playgrounds and showers and electricity outlets and stuff."
Roxas suddenly felt very relieved. He really didn't like camping at all, but at least it sounded like he'd be able to survive the kind that Sora had in mind, however lame the name was. Pffft. 'Hundred Acre Wood'. Roxas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. This was gonna be a cakewalk.
Sora must have overheard Pence, however, because a moment later he was further clarifying the details of the trip. "But that's not even the best part! We're only staying there for a little while, because our real destination iiiis… MAGIC LAKE!"
Oh yeah. Roxas thought. Cause that name makes me feel sooo much better.
Silence reined once again at Sora's announcement. No one really knew what to say. What was there to say? 'Wow, Sora, you sure do pick places with lame names'? Hayner was the first to find words and speak up.
"Dude, I'm not even going, but… where the hell is 'Magic Lake'?"
Sora suddenly looked very, very sad. Roxas felt like a terrible person, and he hadn't even been the one to make the comment. Obviously Sora loved the stupid, embarrassingly lamely named lake, and was personally hurt that someone had said something rather mean about it. A sad Sora was a sight that made even the most pure of conscience feel like offing themselves for being such terrible, horrible people for living in a world that included Sora's sad face and for possibly having contributed to it's appearance. Tension filled the room as people shifted uncomfortably, not knowing how to amend the situation.
"I think it sounds great." Riku said from his spot where he was sitting on the couch.
"It's only the best place ever!" Sora passionately replied, punching his fist in the air, enthusiasm back full force. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "It's a little lake out in the middle of the woods way far away from civilization! I mean, there's no one around for miles and miles! No people, no houses, no electricity, no bathrooms or showers, no –"
As Sora continued his description of the place, Roxas marveled at Sora's idea of 'the best place ever'. Personally, it sounded like his idea of a punishment – somewhere you might be sent if your parents wanted to disown you, or you had been accused of murder or something.
"…and so we're gonna have to bring all our own stuff, of course." Sora was continuing. "I've got some pup tents and food and stuff all ready to go in the van we rented. We'll be leaving first thing in the morning!"
Suddenly another terror-inducing thought materialized in Roxas's brain. They had rented a van. Parents weren't going to be driving. Dear God… did Sora think he was going to be driving them out into the wilderness on winding dirt roads up towering mountains, careening out of control in his desperation to get to random places with lame names? Was Sora even allowed to drive?! Roxas was pretty sure he was going to pass out, but he took a deep breath and collected himself.
"Um… Sora? Who's going to be driving?" He just couldn't help it. He had to know. It was a matter of life and death.
"Riku, of course!" Sora answered brightly, hopping down and plopping onto the lap of the silver haired teen. Riku petted him.
Thank you, any and all higher powers that may be. Roxas silently prayed, thanking the gods for Riku.
"So! Now that we're all clear on that, let's play a game, huh?" Roxas looked at Sora like he was crazy….er than usual. Everyone else, however, seemed to think this was a fun idea. "Okay, so I was thinking we'd start with a round of –"
"I'LL GET IT!!!" Sora yelled, jumping up and joyfully running to the door as if it was some sort of a race and everyone else was just dying to beat him to the door. In reality, no one else even moved to get up. Idle conversation broke out with Sora's absence and Roxas was just delving into how physically (and most likely emotionally …possibly even psychologically) scarred he was going to be by the end of this trip when Sora's voice called out to him from the entryway. "Hey Roxas, come here a minute!"
Roxas got up, making his way to the door, hardly concerned for what may await him there. It couldn't possibly be any worse for what Sora had in store for him starting the following morning.
When he got to the door the first thing Roxas noticed was that Sora wasn't alone. He had been joined by a tall, lanky male with impossibly spiky red hair and a large duffle bag. Apparently this new arrival was going to be joining them on their camping adventure. Oh joy.
"Roxas, this is Axel. He goes to our school and he's gonna be coming camping with us – isn't that fun!" Roxas, for his part, wasn't sure if 'fun' was exactly the right word to be using, seeing as he was going to be dragged out into the wilderness with a crazy Sora, a quiet (although thankfully sane) Riku, and now some random kid he didn't even know who, frankly, looked a little bizarre. The kid had tattoos on his face for crying out lout! Who does that?! Roxas took a moment to marvel at Sora's impossibly wide range of friends.
Suddenly a snicker caught his ear, and Roxas looked back to the redhead, furrowing his brow. What did this guy think was so amusing? "What?"
Oh no you don't! Roxas thought When people say "nothing" it always means "something"!
"No, seriously. What?"
"Nothing." Axel insisted once again. "It's just that…" The redhead found himself unable to continue due to a snicker-fit.
"It's just what?" Roxas asked, starting to get seriously irritated.
"Well…" Axel smirked, leaning down to look right into Roxas's face. Roxas's irritation gave way to discomfort with the nearly nose-to-nose contact. "It's just that… your name is… Roxas."
"…" Roxas didn't quite know how to respond to this. "Um… so?"
Axel grinned freakily, still waaaaay to close for Roxas's comfort. Suddenly he gave a sort of freaky puppy growl and for a split second Roxas was equally torn between completely confused and totally freaked out, before both disappeared to be replaced with livid indignation. The freak was saying his name! "RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOXAS!"
"Hey, shut up!" Roxas snapped, frowning. "There's nothing wrong with my name, Axel. What, are you named after a car part or something?" Axel just continued to grin, seeming to be secure in the belief that Roxas's name was much more ridiculous than his. "God, whatever you freak." Roxas's mind was made up – he already hated this kid.
"Well! Uh… let's head back to the living room, shall we?" Sora cut in, in a moment of rare insight and perception. Grumbling, Roxas followed after him, trying to ignore Axel's continued snickering and mutterings of "Rrrrrrrrroxas".
Once back in the living room, it seemed as though Axel vaguely knew Riku and Namine, but no one else. Roxas wondered why Sora even invited him. That jerk. There was no way Roxas was going to be anywhere near him for the rest of this trip. Not even within ten feet of him. No – twenty feet. Starting now.
"SO!" Sora announced, holding up a game box. "Who's up for a game of TWISTER?"
Roxas groaned, burying his face in his hands. It was going to be a looong trip.
So there you go, you wonderful people, you! Chapter one of many more to come! I'm a little weird about this chapter, just because of the setting and interaction or something, but after this it really picks up! I hope everyone liked it so far! I'm really excited to get this story going!