Motoko Aoyama: Hi everyone! I'm new to this category, but I really like Bleach so I decided to write something for it. Please be so kind as to read this story and give me so feedback afterwards! This is a chronological collection of post-series stories featuring the Kuchiki siblings, so hopefully you'll enjoy the humor involved. Because it is somewhat a parody, the characters may not be exactly like they are in the anime/manga. I apologize if this causes concern to you. Before reading, here is some Japanese vocabulary that I've used.
Shouji – the type of doors used in traditional Japanese buildings
Reiatsu – spirit power
Shinigami – I think everyone knows this one. It means Death God.
Nii-sama – respectful way of calling one's elder brother
Washi – the type of paper used in shouji doors
Kenseikan – the headdress that Byakuya wears
Fukutaichou – vice captain
Taichou – captain
Mochi – Japanese sticky rice cake. It is really good!
Hope that helps. Please enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: I don't own the anime/manga Bleach but I admit I have bleach at home, blah!
Chapter 1: Bubble Tea
It was a typical night at the Kuchiki mansion. The gentle night breeze blew the leaves back and forth on their perches to cast moving shadows on the undergrowth. As usual, Kuchiki Byakuya sat silently at his table, looking at the spotless wooden surface beneath his hands under the dim light of his table lamp. He made sure that the shouji doors of the room were semi-open. It would seem that he was waiting for something, for someone, but he thought that was not his intention. He was merely enjoying the calmness of the night.
As the night deepened, Byakuya shifted in his seat. He figured that his empty desk wasn't all that enjoyable to look at. However, he still refused to leave for his bedroom.
The moon soon climbed to its peak, shining, in its radiance, upon the tranquil earth. Even the previously singing birds had retired to their nests. Byakuya closed his eyes and sighed, slight displeasure forming on his countenance. Just when he was about to stand up and leave, he felt a familiar reiatsu signature appear in the near distance. Immediately, the sixth division captain stumbled back to his seat and adjusted his robes in a tidy manner.
As Byakuya had expected, his adopted sister soon appeared at the doorway, still dressed in the shinigami uniform she had worn for her mission in the human world. She stood there silently, her hands folded in front of her lap while she bowed deeply.
"You may have a seat, Rukia," Byakuya mentioned in his remote tone, all the while facing the newcomer with his back. The petite shinigami dexterously bent her knees to kneel down on the floor without a sound. Pleased by his sister's manners, Byakuya continued, "Was there a reason for your delayed arrival?"
Shit! Rukia mentally swore. Of course it was mentally. There was no way she could use such profanity towards her honorable adopted brother, even in normal situations, not to mention the fact that she was currently in horrible trouble trying to explain why she didn't come back to Soul Society upon killing the hollow. It was obvious that Byakuya had already known that the hollow was killed within minutes of her arrival at the human world.
"I – I had some business with Urahara-san…I – I was running out of Soul Candy," Rukia stuttered. She mentally kicked herself for her nervousness, but maybe nii-sama would not notice since she was always nervous when talking to him anyway.
"Is that so?" Byakuya's cold voice asked with a hint of doubt, but he did not delve further into the matter, "It would've been more convenient to acquire your supplies prior to your mission next time."
"Hai, nii-sama," Rukia said, almost sighing in relief that her brother had gotten off the subject. However, she was still desperately trying to find an excuse to leave when Byakuya spoke again.
"Did you make any new discoveries in the human world?" Byakuya asked, still indifferent as usual. It seemed that he was an even better actor than Rukia when it came to hiding his curiosity.
Why is he asking me that? What am I to say? There is no way I can tell him about going to Ichigo's house to watch Chappy the Rabbit cartoon on his tele…something, and I couldn't use that remo…something to turn on the tele…something, so he taunted me with that…bubble tea? Nii-sama would so scold me if he knows that I made a stupid bet with Ichigo that I can drink that bubble…tea thingy!
"Erm…" Rukia muttered, fiddling uncomfortably under the silhouette of Byakuya's unmoving back, "I – I apologize for my incompetence, but I – I have not made any discoveries in the human world…"
There was a long pause, and Rukia would've sworn that her heart had stopped during the silence.
"Very well," Byakuya finally broke the tension, "you may take your leave."
Rukia couldn't have been happier to go back to bed.
When the sunlight shone through the translucent washi paper of the chamber doors to wake her from her slumber, Rukia was still troubling over how to drink the bubble tea that she had brought with her back to Soul Society. She tried using the straws that came with juice packets, but she soon found out that they were too short for the job, not to mention that it was too small for the black circular thingies called "bubbles" to pass through the tube. She definitely needed a much longer, larger straw for such a task. The problem was where can she find a tool of such description in Soul Society? She hadn't even seen a regular straw in her whole life before her encounters with Ichigo!
With that last thought lingering in her head, Rukia changed into her shinigami robes and walked to the dining room for breakfast.
As always, the Kuchiki head of house was already finishing up his breakfast when his little sister entered the room. It wasn't unfortunate for the young female shinigami though, because whenever she ate together with her brother, she would lose her appetite. If she made the slightest noise chewing her food, or drinking her soup, or even moving her utensils on the plates, she would be met with a pair of staring eyes. Sure, Byakuya never did anything but stare at those occasions, but his stares were enough to cause anyone to lose their sense of taste no matter how delicious the food was.
"Sit down, Rukia," Byakuya stated when he saw Rukia enter the room. She did as she was told and sat down at her usual seat, the seat farthest away from Byakuya on the table.
Rukia carefully lifted her chopsticks and picked up a single grain of rice to put in her mouth as she took a quick glance at Byakuya's food. Only 1/3 of his miso soup left. He should leave in a minute! Suppressing her smile at the rate Byakuya was finishing his food, Rukia picked up a second grain of rice and cautiously placed it in her mouth without a sound.
"Have my kenseikan been washed, Mika," Byakuya said as he placed his bowl down after he had finished his food. Rukia was inwardly grateful that his last comment was not directed to her.
"Yes, it has been washed and dried, Kuchiki-sama," the servant said as she stepped forth slightly with her head lowered.
"Good," was all Byakuya said before he got up to leave the room. Everyone relaxed when they felt his reiatsu leave the mansion's grounds.
Did Mika just say kenseikan? How come I've never thought of that! Kenseikan is a series of long, large tubes, right?
It was definitely not a good idea.
It was definitely a horrible idea when the thirteenth division vice-captain decided to skip the last part of her paperwork to go home early.
"Could you please finish up this last bit for me, Kiyone?" Rukia asked as she pointed at the few sheets of paper left on her desk.
"Of course, Kuchiki-fukutaichou! I'm honored to be able to do such a thing for you! It is something that you can not trust Kotsubaki to do, you know!" Kiyone blurted out in happiness as she sat down at the vice-captain's table.
"You must not do that, Kuchiki-fukutaichou! Kiyone would be too stupid to do the job!"
"Who are you calling stupid?"
"Are you too stupid to know I was calling you stupid?"
"You are the one who is too stupid to tell a smart person as myself from stupid people like you!"
Rukia sighed as the two argued. She could care less who finished up the paperwork as long as they were finished in the end. At times like this, Rukia would wonder if the reason for her promotion to the place of vice-captain was because the two third seats would rather anyone but each other advance to that rank despite that the two were probably best friends.
Anyhow, what was most important at that moment was for her to get home before Byakuya.
Get home…get to the kenseikan…
Rukia couldn't help but chuckle evilly at the thought as she left the thirteenth division headquarters. Byakuya sneezed.
"Taichou! People say that if you sneeze for no reason, it's because somebody is doing something behind your back!" Abarai Renji said as he pointed his finger at Byakuya's nose.
"Nonsense," Byakuya replied sharply, slapping away Renji's finger. When his vice-captain was out of sight, though, he shivered.
Maybe what he said was true…
Rukia walked calmly down the corridors of the Kuchiki mansion, her head held high as the servants bowed before her when they encountered. Upon reaching the corner, the petite shinigami pushed herself onto the wall and risked a peek down the hall that led to Byakuya's room. All clear. Ready to go! She stuck her head out a bit more to take one last look. Seeing nobody in sight, she quickly used her shunpo to sneak into the room.
The female shinigami crept her way towards the dark corner where the cabinets were located. Opening drawer after drawer in search of the headpiece of nobility, she grunted in frustration without having found it. Damn it! He must've placed it on the uppermost drawer! Going on her tip-toes, she managed to reach the tubes that lay there in the darkness.
"Found it! The special rubber kenseikan that nii-sama wears on rainy days! Guaranteed stiffness even in the wettest conditions!" Rukia exclaimed as she eagerly took out the bubble tea and scissors she had obtained from Ichigo in the human world. Excitement overwhelming her common sense, Rukia took the scissors and cut out a tube of the rubber kenseikan and stuck it into the hole of the bubble tea container. This is it! I'll taste bubble tea!
At that very moment, a very nervous Byakuya (nervous because of what Renji had said about sneezing) opened the shouji doors to retire to his room. Upon hearing the sound, Rukia quickly slammed the drawer shut and stuffed the wrecked kenseikan into her robes. Byakuya stared at her, completely not expecting her presence, and she gave a forced smile in return.
"N-n-nii-sama…" Rukia stuttered.
"Is there a reason for your presence in my bedchamber?" Byakuya inquired, narrowing his eyes.
"I-I-I was…was…trying to find you," Rukia blurted out without much thought.
"And for what reason would that be?" Byakuya continued his inquiry. Rukia could feel the cold drops of sweat trickle down her spine.
"Um…" she began, unsure of what to say until she saw the bubble tea lying on the ground in front of her, "I just recalled a discovery that I made in the human world. It slipped out of my mind because…er…well…it isn't all that important…but I thought it might be interesting to show you, nii-sama…"
"Is that so?" Byakuya asked, lowering himself to sit in front of Rukia and the bubble tea. He stared at the reddish liquid in the plastic container, mixed with ice and black spheres that lay at the bottom of the drink. "What is this?"
"Th-they call it watermelon bubble tea…" Rukia answered.
"Ah…" Byakuya muttered, picking up the container to examine how to drink it. Recalling his past conversations with Rukia regarding juice packets, he placed his lips on the special straw (without the slightest idea that it is a part of his kenseikan) and took a sip.
"I-Is it good?" Rukia asked, interested.
"It tastes like watermelon…and water…and ice…and mochi…" Byakuya answered dreamily.
"I guess it isn't that good then…damn that Ichigo…" Rukia muttered under her breath, but Byakuya was too obsessed with his drink to notice.
"The best part about it is the taste of red pepper," Byakuya said to nobody in particular.
What part of watermelon bubble tea would contain red pepper? Shit! It must be nii-sama's red pepper flavored shampoo!
"Is it just me, or is this scent a bit too familiar?" Byakuya asked. Rukia sweatdropped.
End of Chapter
Motoko Aoyama: Yeah, I made Rukia the vice captain of the thirteenth division, but seeing that the Sode no Shirayuki looks much more useful than that spiked ball of the second division vice, I really think that she deserves that rank. So, how was it? Good? Bad? Please give me some feedback, positive or negative, it is all fine with me as long as you don't flame. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, and just a note saying that you've read this is good too. Thanks for reading! Have fun with Bleach!