Oh Lord, She's drunk.
"Wull, hullo!" she stumbled in, glasses askew, a half-empty wine bottle tipping dangerously in her fist.
"I beg your pardon?" asked a surprised Albus.
"I saaaaaid HULL-O!"
"Excuse me?" he put down his book to examine her closely.
"HULL-o! Albus! You missed the party of a lifetime! 'Twas fer you and you missed half of it! I sure don' agree with that Hooch lady about her quidditch choices, but she shure knows how to make a cocktail!" she tripped over a table leg and fell into his arms, her robes getting tangled in themselves and her hair falling into her face. She blew upwards towards the strands, which flew up then fell back down in her face. She sloppily pushed the hair away from her eyes with her arm, "Jus' keeps falling down don' it?"
Her? Speaking incorrect English? Was it possible? Good Lord, he thought to himself, she's drunk.
"Hair never behaves as it should," she said falling back on a sofa, wine bottle still firmly clenched in her hand, "Tha's why I usually keep it back," she continued. Her head slanted dangerously, "But tonight, everything jus' keeps acting SILLY," she giggled, "Hullo!"
"Yes, you already said that," he said turning away from her as she laughed in his face.
"Did I? I can' remmember," she said looking at him with a frown.
"Minerva, I think you ought to go to bed…"
"Nnnn-O! Why should I do thaT?"
"I think… you are seriously drunk," he said lifting her off the sofa.
"Almus Dumbleore, what on Earth would make you think that?" she said leaning her head on his shoulder.
"In the first place, the name is Albus. The second place, you are carrying a half-empty wine bottle, third… your breath smells it,"
"And fourth place, you're slurring,"
"Tha's nonsense! Inever slerr, people should all-ways spoke, speak good English,"
"I believe it's "speak English well" or "speak proper English"," he corrected.
"Tha's what I said!"
"No, you did not."
"I said, 'no, you did not',"
"Oh, issat what you said,"
"Yes, it is."
"You know… you should try some of thisstuff…" she said swinging up the wine bottle, nearly hitting him in the face.
"What is it?"
"Darned good champagne,"
"Yuuuup!" she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Maybe I will,"
"I like champagne,"
"You –hic- Dooo?"
"Yes, I dooo," he said mocking her slur.
"I've got the –hic- hiccups,"
"Yes, I noticed,"
"Where're we going?"
She frowned, "Why? The night's jus' –hic- begun!"
She frowned again, "Is it?"
"The night's over for you, sweetheart," he put her down on the bed.
"Dowe have classestomorrow?"
"No," he said as he took off her shoes.
"It's summer holiday, Minerva, we don't teach classes in the summer,"
"You know, I've Always wondered… Why not?"
"Because some people would never go home, that's why not,"
"Oh… yes, I suppose that makes sense," she said tapping her nose. She put her hand to the back of her head and began pulling out pins, "I'm awfully tired,"
"You should be, it's been a long day," he said, "You're going to hate me for putting you to bed with your clothes on."
"Then why are you?" she said lying down on her stomach.
"Good heavens, why would you ask me a question like that?"
"I just thought I would. You don't have to you know," she said flicking her wand. Drunk, she was still good with her spells. Her day dress changed into her nightgown, "How has it been a long day?" she asked yawning.
"I came back."
"Thus the champagne," she said thrusting the bottle that was still pasted to her fist.
"Give me that," he said prying it from her hand.
He looked at the bottle. It was still half-full.
"How did you keep it from spilling out?" he asked looking at it curiously.
"'Smagic," she said drowsily smiling.
He took a swig, "Dragons and dingbats, that is good champagne." He looked at the bottle.
He took a deeper swig, "I may very well get drunk too,"
"I'm not drrunk."
"Of course you aren't darling," he kissed her on the forehead.
"Come on, Headmaster, you can do better than that," she said grabbing the lapels of his evening robe.
"Not without another drink," he said placing the bottle to his lips.
"Oh, no you don't tha's mine," she said taking it away from him. She swallowed another gulp.
"You shameless hussy, give that back," he said reaching for the bottle. She pulled it out of his reach.
"A hussy, sir? I –hic- think not. The –hic- hiccups are back,"
"Yes, I noticed,"
"How –hic- how d'you get rid of –hic- hiccups,"
"I can think of a few ways,"
"Give me the bottle first,"
"Oh, you mean hold my –hic- breath and take a drink, -hic- huh? Wait lemme try it," she said putting it up to her lips and holding a finger up to him as he tried again to take the bottle away, "-hic- nope –hic- didn't work."
"I meant something else,"
"What else? –hic- Sc-hic- scare me? Oh, they –hic- they're worse th –hic- this time. Shure, le's call in –hic- in Peeves, he's scary," she said attempting to get up.
He held her down, "That won't be necessary. I was thinking something a little closer to home,"
"What? –hic-," she asked with a silly grin on her intoxicated face.
"Can't you guess?"
"I think you can," he said in a soft seductive voice.
"-Hic- Oh, -hic- stop flirting and –hic- do it already," she said cupping the back of his head and giving him a long hard kiss.
"Mmm, you taste like champagne,"
"I should –hic- I drank half –hic- half a bottle. Drat, it didn't –hic- work. You'll have to do it again,"
"My pleasure," he said as he lowered his head to hers.
"You know, you're right, I think I am drunk,"
"I like you better when you're easy to seduce,"
"I'm usually easy to seduce,"
"Not this easy," he said climbing into bed.
"I'm glad you married me, now you can seduce me any time you like," she said snuggling up to him.
"You'll regret it,"
"You wouldn't remember it,"
"You're far too sleepy,"
"I'm gonna have a heck of a hangover tomorrow,"
"Yes, you are," he said putting a protective arm around her as she swiftly fell asleep and thought of how truly lucky he was.
(I've seen quite a few movies lately where someone gets drunk. It seemed like an interesting idea. I may write a sequel to this. Just because. Well, review and have a nice day!)