(To the tune of "Remains of the Day" from Corpse Birde)

Ezra: Hey! Here at the mansion, we have origins

Tales of woe or all our sins

But of all the ghosts here who haunt the inside

One who has the most stories is our bride

Phineas and Gus: Yeah, yeah, our bride needs a plot

Seems like everyone has gave one a shot

Some are decent, but others really rot

And we just can't tell what's real and what's not

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah

Ezra: Well, the tale starts out when a guy proposes

After the big wedding, it all comes up roses

Too bad our little bride don't know what she's in for

'Cause her groom is really a pirate named Gore

And when she found out, he killed her, she's dead

And was dumped in a well where the water turned red

Phineas and Gus: Yeah, yeah, our bride needs a plot

Seems like everyone has gave one a shot

Some are decent, but others really rot

And we just can't tell what's real and what's not

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeah

Ezra: In Phantom Manor, her ride's devoted

And as for Hatbox Ghost, he got the demoted

But both of those things don't relate to this soul

Another version of how death took its' toll

Was a different wedding with our host

Naturally, they were both live and not ghosts

A wedding game of hide and seek was played

And the attic was where the bride's old chest stayed

So she inside and there she laid

Phineas: And then?

Ezra: She waited

Gus: And then?

Ezra: There in the shadows, was it her man?

Phineas and Gus: And then?

Ezra: Het little heart beat sooooooo loud

Phineas and Gus: AND THEN?

Ezra: And then Leota shut and locked the trunk

Now the Imagineers couldn't straighten the facts

Because in a rehab they just tossed her an axe

The movie had her looking like some kids' mom

I guess it's good that the thing was a bomb

It's depressing that the poor girl's so confused

Because of all the stories that have been used

Yes, we all agree that we'd be satisfied

That they'd get a true plot for...the...bride!

All: Yeah, yeah, our bride needs a plot

Seems like everyone has gave one a shot

Some are decent, but others really rot

And we just can't tell what's real and what's not!