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A Recognised Gain
The Doctors' heart sunk as he watched his daughter clutching the photo of her mother – her eyes so wide and hopeful. Watching her look at him like this broke his heart – he could see how much she was hurting inside and how much she was missing Rose. He knew he couldn't take her to see Rose but he didn't have the heart not to.
'Vennie – you know that we can't' he began slowly
'Why not?' she asked angrily, her lip trembling but her eyes determined
'Because we can't! We'd be breaking so many rules and setting up numerous paradoxes!' he began to explain but Venetia cut him off – her face watching him knowingly
'But you can. You did it for mum – she told me. You took her to meet her father, why can't you take me to see her?' she asked coldly. The Doctor winced as she said that
'And did she tell you what happened? How we all nearly died and the world nearly imploded? Did she tell you that as well?' he asked angrily trying to defend his actions
'It doesn't matter!' Venetia yelled
'But it does!' he shouted back
Venetia shook her head, adamant that she was right
'Because you fixed it all' she said in a small voice 'you can fix it again' she told him hopefully. The Doctor sighed to himself – all of his anger evaporating. He walked up to Venetia and knelt down so he was eye to eye with her
'The consequences are too much – I shouldn't have let Rose do that in the first place' he told her gently but sternly. Venetia studied him
'But you did. Why?' she asked in a small voice
Because I love her! the Doctor wanted to shout, he would have done anything for Rose – he would have burned planets and destroyed entire universes just to keep her safe. No wasn't a word when Rose was around – he would give his life just to keep her happy.
'Because you loved her' Venetia answered in a small voice – her eyes were hurt and deep.
'But I love you too' the Doctor reassured her softly. Venetia shook her head
'Not in the same way' she whispered as she realised her truth.
'You'd do anything for her just because you loved her. You'd die for her, you'd take her to the stars and watch her smile – you'd fight of evil to save her or make her happy. But it's not like that with me' Venetia's voice began to wobble as she realised the truth
'You were burdened with me. You have to keep me safe, you have to protect me, and you don't have a choice because you promised her. You don't want to make me happy – you want to make her happy by making me happy, you don't really care about me' Venetia accused angrily
'That's not true' the Doctor sharply cut in – his voice angry and his eyes blazing 'Don't you understand what you mean to me?' the Doctor asked his eyes darkening
'Yes – I do' she told him sadly 'I'm all you have left of her – that's why you cling on to me, I'm your last connection to her – that's the only reason you love me' she told him as her tears freely bled down her face
'Vennie – I love you because you're my daughter, because you are clever and beautiful and everything I wish I was – I love you because you're Roses' daughter. I don't love you just because you're her daughter' he told her meaningfully
'Don't call me Vennie!' she screamed angrily at him as she clutched at the photo of herself and her mother. The Doctor stepped back at the force of her anger, he didn't understand
'Only Mummy can call me Vennie' she whispered as she began to shake due to the force of the sobs that tore through her body.
'Oh Venetia' the Doctor whispered feeling the pain she was releasing through her endless stream of tears, he began to walk over to her but she jumped up and stepped back from him
'Leave me alone!' she shouted 'Take me to her or leave me alone!' she begged as she shook – her pale face blotched with tears.
'You know I can't' the Doctor told her – his voice cracking. Venetia glared at him before running down the corridor to her room – her door slammed violently shut behind her.
The Doctor closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair
'What do I do' he whispered to himself as he was rocked by the emotions his daughter had shown – such hate, hate that all seemed to be directed at him.
Venetia flung herself onto her bed as her sobs tore through her soul, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know how to deal with everything she was feeling. So she did the one thing she knew how to do – she cried and cried and cried until she felt like there were no more tears in the universe left to be cried, and when she felt like that she cried some more.
Several hours later the Doctor hesitantly knocked on the door of Venetias' room, he was greeted by silence but proceeded to open the door. He poked his head around the door and saw his daughter curled up into a ball on top of her blankets. Her blonde curls stood eratically out from her head, and her hands were clenched into fists. Around her used tissues lay abandoned – under her chin was her Winnie the Pooh teddy bear, and across her chest lay one of her mums' jumpers. The Doctor walked up to her and sat on the edge of her bed gently brushing the curls away from her face – her eyes flickered
'Daddy?' she asked quietly as her eyes blinked into focus. He smiled gently down at her – she looked up at him unsure of how to behave.
'I'll take you' he told her quietly, she smiled her mothers smile back up at him
'Thank you' she said softly. They didn't say anything else; they just sat in silence together each living in their own memories of Rose.
The Tardis finally came to a shuddering halt – the icy gales from outside the Tardis were already blowing through the doors causing Venetia to shiver. She huddled inside her sky blue coat – the white fluff at the top over flowing and framing her face, she looked so delicate and angelic. The Doctor smiled as she pulled on her gloves – glittering pink threads covered the deep purple bruises and scabs that lay on her wrists from the ropes. She winced as her hands brushed against the bruises but she didn't say a word. The Doctor walked up to Venetia and took her hand – neither of them spoke of her harsh words from earlier, both of them pretended it had never happened.
They opened the doors and stepped out into the Artic landscape – the fresh white snow crunching under their feet, the white specks of snow flattened themselves against their coats as they slowly walked forwards. Venetias' cheeks turned red as did her nose in the cold winds, she shivered and sunk further into her coat but continued to walk forwards with her father. They stopped when they came to the edge of a frozen lake. The lake was miles and miles long, its icy exterior glistening in the morning sun – each layer of snow being covered with another. Around the lake giant mountains stood, they reached up into the sky and their peaks disappeared into the clouds that hugged the sky line. Each mountain was dotted with thousands of pine trees, their emerald green covered by the fresh white of the snow. It was the most beautiful landscape Venetia had ever seen – she gasped in awe as she glanced around, but what she saw next took her breath away.
Dressed in a white jump suit with baby pink strips, Rose danced around on the ice. Her blonde hair was loose over her shoulders and flew back in the wind around her, her cheeks were rosey and her eyes danced with excitement. She moved elegantly and smoothly over the ice jumping and twirling in the most beautiful, alluring way. The Doctor and Venetia both stood silently watching Rose in awe – she looked beautiful in the snow as she glided across the ice, her smile lit up both of their hearts. Roses' laughter danced across the ice reaching into their souls and warming them forever more, the sunlight sparkled down on Rose who threw her head back and relished in its warmth, her eyes lit up and with that they lit up the world.
The Doctor and Venetia held each others hand as they watched Rose – they both knew in that moment that despite whatever happened between them, how much pain they felt and how many tears they cried – they would always be okay. They could always look back on this moment where they were a family again and remember the inner peace they finally felt – they could always rely on the love that radiated out of them whenever they thought of Rose. So together the father and daughter sat in the snow watching the love of their lives dance carelessly and freely with no ideas of her future, and no ideas of the pain and joy she will one day bring to so many lives. The Doctor looked down at Venetia and she looked up at him – they both finally recognised their gains.
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