A/N- This is the story Chihiro and I wrote together. Random events may occur below. Insanity may follow. Please read it anyway. It might be funny.

Disclaimer: We don't own Full Metal Panic or Harry Potter. Love them, though. I will buy all the DVDs, though. Someday.

Coincidences, Dirty Dishes, and Lost Dogs

"I have a new mission for you, Sergeant Sousuke Sagara." Kalinin announced.

Sousuke saluted. "Yes, Sir?"

Kalinin proceeded to explain the mission. "Several hundred school age children are disappearing yearly in England and many other countries. We're sending you, Kurtz and Melissa in to find out what's going on."

"How, Sir?" Melissa Mao questioned respectfully.

"We're sending you to watch every movement of one of the boys who has disappeared: Harry Potter."

"Couldn't it have been a girl?" Kurtz Webber complained.

Melissa rolled her eyes and kicked Kurtz in the shins.

Sousuke looked at Kalinin. "Requesting details of the mission, sir?"

Kalinin nodded. "All the children who have been disappearing off the radar have been doing so at the train station, in London, on the same day. Other than that, we only know which children are disappearing. They also reappear at the train station on the same day as each other, at the end of the school year. So our best bet is to follow one child."

"How do you want me to do this, Sir?" Sousuke asked.

"Follow Harry Potter. Try to make friends with him, if you can, but make sure you follow him either way. It doesn't matter otherwise. Mithril has purchased the house across the street for your usage."

"Yes, Sir." The three saluted.

"You're dismissed."


A black-haired boy, of about sixteen years of age, gazed curiously out his bedroom window. The day before, a real estate agent had come by and removed the "For Sale" sign from in front of the blue house across the street. And today Harry had seen a jeep drive up the driveway and a handful of people emerge, obviously the new residents of the house.

The boy was trying to figure out if they were a family. The woman looked too young to be a mother. There was also dark-brown-haired boy- about his age- and a blonde guy who kept whooping and hollering (and being promptly quieted by kicks from the woman.)

"HARRY!" came a shrill shout. "Come downstairs at once! HARRY!"

The boy sighed and pulled himself away from the window. His Aunt Petunia was calling him. He plodded gloomily down the stairs and poked his head in the kitchen.

"Harry!" his pinch-faced aunt scolded, waving a dirty spoon at him. "These dishes have been waiting for you since lunchtime! Clean them, now!"

"Yes, Aunt Petunia," he answered resignedly, as was his fashion.

His aunt disappeared and for ten minutes Harry was engrossed in washing the gunk off a skillet. Suddenly the doorbell rang obnoxiously.

"I'll get it," Harry volunteered when it rang again, eager to get away from the dishes. He wiped his sudsy hands on a dish towel and scurried to the door.

Upon opening it, he beheld his new neighbors, minus the boy with the long blonde hair (hair so long, I might mention, that his Aunt Petunia was sure to abhor it.)

"Hello!" the woman began instantly, smiling, as if she had rehearsed this moment. "We're your new neighbors from across the street. My name's Melissa Mao, and my friend here is Sousuke Sagara. And, we brought cookies!" She cheerfully proffered the plate of chocolate chip cookies that she held.

"Oh," said Harry, surprised. "Thank you." He took a cookie.

"Take the whole plate!" Melissa encouraged, and he did.

"My name's Harry," he said accommodatingly. "Harry Potter. Oh, do come in. I'm sure my aunt would like to meet you."

But his aunt was already there, behind him.

"Hello," she said, looking them up and down. "Who are you?"

"Your new neighbors," Melissa said warmly, smiling hugely, giving Harry's aunt a vigorous handshake. The boy she had called Sousuke remained unsmiling and alert. Harry thought it might be his imagination, but he seemed to be looking at him a great deal. His scalp prickled. Did Sousuke know anything about wizards or Hogwarts or even Voldemort? It seemed unreal that anyone living on Privet Drive could be involved in the wizarding world.

While Harry was lost in his thoughts, his aunt had offered their guests a tour of the house. She was always eager to show it off. Melissa's eyes seemed to gleam as his aunt said the words, but Harry blinked and the unearthly shine was gone.

They paraded through the house and Melissa oohed and aahed over the spaciousness of the living room, the splendor of the china, the good looks of Dudley, his cousin, whose portrait rested on the mantelpiece, and the make of the four-poster. She seemed unable to resist touching anything in any room. By the end of the tour Harry thought her decidedly odd. Sousuke, on the other hand, never said anything. He did, on occasion, whip around at an odd noise, or put his hand on his belt, as if he expected a gun to be there. Harry also noted an odd scar that was on Sousuke's left jaw line, like an irregular x.

Harry knew it would be rude to ask, but he was decidedly curious of the relationship between Sousuke and Melissa. And when Aunt Petunia ordered him to see them to the door, he took his chance.

"Um…I don't mean to be rude, but how are you related?" He asked as politely as he could manage with the question he asked.

"She's my commanding officer." Sousuke answered without pause.

For a moment, a look of horror rested on Melissa's face, but she quickly whisked it away, replacing it with a smile. "HAAHHAHAA! He's such a basket case!" She whacked Sousuke on the head, and he looked at her as if wondering if she was sane. They quickly scuttled across the street and slammed the door, as Harry stared. Well, he certainly had interesting neighbors. They were peculiar enough to be wizards!


In the next few weeks, he noticed that he was being followed. Whenever he went on a walk, Sousuke was sure to be seen lurking around a corner or looking at him from over a fence. Harry would smile weakly and wave, and Sousuke would disappear from view. He considered turning the matter over to the authorities, but what could he say?

"Hullo, I'm being stalked by my next-door neighbor."

It was true, though odd. He didn't have any evidence, however; and this alone stopped him. He decided to take matters into his own hands and confront his shadow.

He took in a deep breath, strode across the street, and rang the doorbell. The moment his finger left the buzzer the door swung open. There was Sousuke, staring expressionlessly at Harry.

"Uh, hullo," Harry managed, unnerved by this unfriendly reception.

Sousuke nodded. "Harry Potter, isn't it?" Despite the question it was obvious that he knew Harry's name.

"Look," said Harry, mustering up his courage. "You know my name. For goodness' sake, you follow me around!"

"It's just a coincidence," Sousuke assured him.

"No it's not!" Harry cried, eyeing the crazy man. "Why did I see you at the grocery store the other day, looking through the bars of a shopping cart?!?"

"I needed orange juice," Sousuke said emotionlessly.

"Oh yeah? Then why did I notice you poking around the shrubbery last Saturday when I was clipping?"

"I lost… my dog," he said slowly.

"Your dog? You don't have a dog," Harry scorned.

"Not anymore. I lost it," Sousuke said.

"Aargh!" Harry said. "This is pointless. Whatever you say I know you're stalking me. Just stop following me! Or I'll be forced to call the police!" He turned stormily and Sousuke grabbed his arm.

Harry whipped around. "Ow! What are you doing?"

"You can't do that," Sousuke said, now urgent.

"Watch me!" Harry threw back. "Let go, see!"

"NO!" Sousuke exclaimed.

At that moment the blonde-haired guy appeared in the doorway.

"Geez, Sousuke, you really are an army freak."

Sousuke looked back emotionlessly.

"For starters, Sousuke, let go of the boy."

"Why?"

Kurtz sighed. "Sousuke…" He leaned close to Sousuke, and Harry was almost sure he said "You'll jeopardize the mission."

Sousuke immediately let go, Harry eying him strangely.

Kurtz looked at Harry. "Hi, pleased to meet you, I'm Kurtz Webber. Don't let Sousuke bother you, he's a bit of a maniac when it comes to military things. He lives his life that way."

"What are you talking about?" Sousuke asked. "I'm doing as the Captain ordered."

"See what I mean?" Kurtz said. "Don't worry about him, he's totally harmless."

"…Okay…" Harry was by now so confused that he left without a fuss.


A/N- Review please! Chihiro and I will update in two weeks, but if it looks like people are reading and REVIEWING we might update sooner...Shiori Hitohana is disagreeing with Chihiro about what to write...Hmph. Now, onto a preview of the next chapter.

Next time in Panic at Hogwarts... (Random quotes from next chapter)

"Well, Well, Well… looks like a muggle enjoys playing the hero."

"Requesting backup. Sergeant Major Mao, requesting backup."

Melissa shook her head, "The captain ordered this."

"Just put down your Firelegs. No fights are needed here…"

"Shouldn't we be introduced first?"

-End Preview-

See you next time!

Shiori Hitohana and Chihiro