Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all the characters, trademarks etc. belong to Rumiko Takahashi and to their other rightful owners. To sum it up: I don't own Ranma



Birthday Panic

The aftermath

Ranma-chan was sitting on top of a stone lantern and watching as D-chan scampered about the yard on his nightly 'toilet' trip. It had been two days since the birthday and D-chan had quickly adjusted to the daily life at the Tendo dojo. He was in overall good mood despite the sudden Nerima rain that had triggered his curse as he listened Akane giggling at the antics of her new pet. The only argument they had had over the two days was about taking the dog out as Akane had refused to let Ranma just grab the puppy from her room for its nightly outing session stating that "He's my dog and I should be the one to take him out!" to which Ranma had replied with a grunt and stated that he would be more than happy to remind her about those words on the coming fall and accompanying rains and all that. His fiancée had then pulled a low blow and batted her eyelashes before saying in a sugary voice. "Well… it's so good that I have a strong and manly fiancé who will do anything to spare me from such ordeals." Ranma had then grumbled something about uncute tomboys and the unfairness of life in general before quickly fleeing the scene with the said tomboy in hot pursuit.

The other thing was that they were generally left alone during these nightly sessions in the yard. During the day when they were walking D-chan there would be the usual pests, forcing them to practically toss the poor dog from one person to another so that the puppy would not get into the line of fire, but, as it was they were mostly left alone during the night. Somehow being unobserved also brought out a odd feeling of shyness as neither really spoke much, and if they did they stuck to safe subjects like martial arts tournaments, school and possible competitions they could participate with D-chan.

After a few weeks Akane finally asked a question that had been bugging her for some time. "Ranma… why did you get me two presents? I mean D-chan was enough so why the coupon for the clothing store?"

Ranma, again perched on the stone lantern, thought about it a moment before answering. "Well… I really didn't pay for D-chan myself so… And I mean I'll benefit more from him than you do anyway as he'll keep c-cats away when he grows up."

Akane blushed at this before she managed to ask. "Um… does that mean that you'll be staying around? I mean your parents house is all fixed up now and I…" Her voice faded away as Ranma came tumbling down from his high seat, eliciting a small giggle from her.

Ranma on the other hand was far from amused, he was, to say the least, shocked. Finally, gathering his wits he managed to stutter out something that resembled "Maybe… if you don't mind." causing the girl gasp slightly before nodding demurely.

Slamming a silent high-five two figures retreated back from the window they had been pressed against. The other figure whispered "Finally" while the other nodded. Then it continued "So maybe now I can sleep whole night again… seriously sis I don't think you should be so concerned about those two doing anything indecent even if they sneak out every night." The other figure, Kasumi, frowned slightly making the other, Nabiki, grin. "Come on… they've been engaged for almost a year and at the rate they are going I'll be lucky if I can catch them sharing their first kiss at the prom… the earliest. Anyway if you want to chaperone them then feel free but can I please go back to bed already, besides now you can get auntie to drag uncle Saotome away so we have one less bottomless pit at the table every day."


Few days later Genma was indeed dragged away by Nodoka who simply informed the Tendos and Ranma that she would be taking her husband home. She also informed Ranma that he could stay with the Tendo's if he wished, that he should think it over and if he chose to stay that wouldn't bring around another forced wedding. Both Ranma and Akane simultaneously blinked at this, looked at each other and then busied themselves looking everywhere else except each other. Genma's loud proclamation of "Of course he will stay with his fiancée, won't you boy?" was only responded by a partial unsheathing of a certain katana that quickly shut the bald man up.

D-chan grew quickly and its housetraining had proceeded to the point where Ranma almost never had to clean up after the dog. There were other issues such as teething that caused several small mishaps, especially when Nabiki's new dress shoes were found viciously masticated. Of course a quick check actually confirmed that they were Akane's dress shoes that had been 'borrowed' by the elder sister.

It was a rather glum day when Ryoga finally found Nerima after a month of wandering around. He still held a wilted bouquet of flowers and a rather banged up gift box in his arms while cursing Ranma out loud, even louder when the martial artist in question hopped from the fence he'd been walking on and squatted on the lost boy's head. This drove him mad and a fight ensued during which Ryoga got his ass handed to him by a grinning Ranma who, at the end of the battle, said "You know P-chan… I've had a good month. I only had trouble with the amazons twice, Kuno only once outside of school and his batty sister didn't show up at all because she is somewhere in a tournament or something. I'd like to keep it that way so P-chan better not show up… there might be nasty consequences."

The lost boy didn't quite heed this warning and managed to find his way to the Tendo home only two days later… and Akane's room only several hours after midnight. He was cold, tired and very hungry since he'd been wandering around the compound since before lunch and as such was in a very irritable mood. Still it didn't quite explain why he let out a furious "BWEEE!" which could have been translated as "Ranma! I'll kill you for this…" before launching himself at the bundle of fur that had invaded his private space in Akane's bed.

It might be that Ryoga thought Ranma had gotten himself splashed from the spring of the drowned puppy, or that he had some instant powder for the same thing. But it was clear in his mind that this certainly was Ranma's doing… unfortunately he didn't quite evaluate the consequences of his actions far enough, after all Ranma always got the blame when he bit him, why wouldn't the mutt do the same.

The yelp from D-chan as his predecessor bit him on the butt was enough to wake even Ranma and it certainly woke up Akane who instantly noticed P-chan trying to get another bite from the wailing puppy and quickly slapped the pig before cradling the small dog and trying to sooth its pain. Soon enough Ranma barrelled through the door, prepared to fight whatever it was that had attacked Akane. He quickly took stock of the situation and pointed at the pig that was now chomping his arm before saying. "So… widdle and so nice P-chan showed his true colours huh? How many times do I have to tell you I only hit it after the damn pork bites me! And now it even bites poor D-chan."

Ryoga suddenly stopped fighting when several things clicked, Akane had a dog, he'd just bitten the dog and Ranma was obviously at fault here. Still it didn't mean that he couldn't worm his way back into the bed, after all he was the adorable P-chan. He nodded enthusiastically as Akane was trying to defend her previous pet saying that he probably had just been jealous and surely P-chan would understand. Yes… he would understand and after all he didn't mind sharing the bed with a dumb animal, as long as Ranma stayed the hell away from the room.

Problem was that D-chan wasn't quite as willing on the sharing and he let it show by growling angrily at P-chan who quickly forgot to behave and growled back. Ranma smirked at the dog and said. "Well looks like I'll have to take D-chan for the night, I don't think he could sleep too well if the pork is in the same room."

P-chan almost squealed in delight only to let out an outraged "Bwee!" when Akane sternly said "No… It's P-chan's fault that he bit poor D-chan… and he has to learn his lesson. Maybe I've been too lax in disciplining him in the past. Maybe he is a bit aggressive and I've just let it slip." The bandanna adorned piglet tried to look innocent, which was hard as he was busy gnawing Ranma's leg because he was again obviously playing the sweet and innocent Akane and sabotaging their love.

Ranma shook the piglet off his leg, grabbed it by the bandanna and said. "You know Akane, I read that gelding overly aggressive animals sometimes helps to calm them down." He smiled sadistically, although that was an inward smile, as the piglet went rigid in his hands. "Maybe we should ask the vet about it when we take D-chan to get his vaccination." Ryoga was now sweating bullets, and nearly had a heart attack when Akane didn't outright yell at his rival for trying to get him under a surgeon's knife. So shocked he was that he didn't even register them leaving Akane's room or the foot that punted him to the skies… he only came to in time to let out a terrified "BWEEE!" before landing face first in a trashcan that was located in a park, somewhere in Nerima.

It took him another three days to find his way out of the park and back to the Tendo's. He stopped to survey the situation from the top of the fence and seeing Ranma playing on the yard with the dog decided to hop in, beat Ranma and prove to Akane that he was better with dogs anyway. He had a dog of his own after all. Problem was that D-chan had gotten a good sniff off him that night and hadn't quite forgotten the smell of his assailant and as such backed away from Ryoga and between Ranma's legs. The pigtailed boy smiled evilly at Ryoga before saying. "My Ryoga… from way D-chan here acts one might even think that you bit him or something."

Ryoga saw red and bellowed. "How dare you force Akane to sleep with something like that and throw me out from her room… and then you even dared to suggest that she have me neutered. You stepped over the line Ranma and I'm going to kill you once and for all."

Ranma just shrugged, scratched D-chan soothingly and pointed behind Ryoga and said. "I think P-chan… that if you are only neutered you will be lucky." There, behind the lost boy, were all three Tendo sisters who all stared at Ryoga in equal shock… shock that quickly turned into rather seething anger as they, almost simultaneously, came to the same conclusion… Kasumi then stomped to the kitchen only to quickly return armed with a glass of water and a teakettle. After several splashes of water she quietly handed Akane a sturdy wooden mallet.

Ranma watched the brutal beating that followed calmly, while holding the puppy close. He knew that his turn was next but still took some contentment in the knowledge that Ryoga was finished and probably wouldn't be welcomed back. After the unfortunate lost boy was punted over the horizon there was a moment of silence during which Akane got a better grip from her mallet and the elder sisters calmed themselves slightly. A silent "You knew?" was directed towards him.

Ranma nodded and said. "Of course, I did drop all those hints you know. I just happened to swear a warriors oath not to reveal his curse to anyone. Then he became your pet… and well he did follow me to Jusenkyo after he missed the fight and said that he'd been knocked into the pool by a redhead girl who was chasing a panda so I suppose I felt like I owed him something. I really tried to stop him from doing anything indecent though… that's one of the reasons I got you the dog. In hopes that it would drive him mad enough to do something stupid." He gave D-chan a last pat and put the puppy aside, stood up and said. "Well I'm ready for my beating now, then I'll just pack my bags and leav…"

He didn't quite get to finish as the wooden mallet flattened him to the ground. Akane then picked him up from his pigtail and all but screamed at the swirly eyed boy. "Saotome Ranma don't you dare to try and run away. I'm going to the dojo to break a ton of bricks… then I'm going to beat you to an inch of your life, then we're going to have a long talk in where you explain how, when, where and who. Then I'm going to beat the living crap out of you again and then you can start thinking for a way to make this up for me." She then shook the boy some more. "And if you even try to run away then I'll make sure you'd wish I'd kill you. Do understand me?" She shook him again, harder. "DO YOU?"

When Ranma finally managed to groan out "Yes." he was unceremoniously dumped on the ground as Akane left to change for her gi. The problem was that there were two more Tendo sisters who didn't vent their frustration by breaking things and as such he was accosted by two very scary looking girls who loomed over him and demanded the whole story.


In the end Ranma got off easy, Nabiki glared at him for a month but that was mostly because she had no clue as to Ryoga's double personality. Akane, luckily, forgave Ranma rather quickly after she'd beaten the explanation out of him and made him swear and oath that he'd never keep anything like this from her again… And as for Kasumi, she was a forgiving person although the tongue lashing Ranma got from her was far more scathing than any beating from Akane had ever been. Still, most of the anger was directed elsewhere… Ryoga bore the brunt of it as he was actually slapped by Kasumi when he showed up the next time and told to get lost. When he tried to blame Ranma the lost boy found himself splashed and subjected to eerily demonic looking Kasumi who swore that he'd lose something very valuable next time he came over to pick a fight with her sister's fiancée.

Even more disappointing to the Tendo's was the fact that their father, along with Genma, had known. Ranma had an excuse for not telling, as foolish as it was, but their fathers were completely different story. They were both tossed out from their respective homes and told not to come back until they had realized the error of their ways and were prepared to make amends.

D-chan grew up rapidly and only three weeks after succeeding his predecessor as the official household pet he had his first skirmish with Shampoo-neko. Ranma had trained the puppy well as he had played on its hunting instincts with a strip of cat fur that he'd acquired and as he had tried to make sure D-chan would chase off any cats from the premises. Shampoo was quickly driven into a nearby tree as she tried to sneak into the house to demand that Ranma date her…

She then tried to befriend the dog, thinking that it would help her standing with Ranma, which had taken a severe blow in the aftermath of the failed wedding. Her problem was the same that Ryoga had faced, her scent didn't change even if her form did and as such she had little luck trying to befriend the animal. And when she got frustrated and handled the poor thing rather harshly she was told to leave by the very boy she was there to see.


Year went by, Nabiki began preparations to attend university, Akane and Ranma began to prepare for their final year in high school and D-chan grew up, chewed up a few more shoes while growing and all that.

There were other incidents such as Amazon plots, insanity cooked up by the Kunos and occasionally Ukyo who didn't quite want to give up on her 'Ran-chan' just yet. All in all the arrival of D-chan hadn't much disrupted the normal life of Nerima… with the exception that occasionally an early morning riser could see a brown and white dog running on the street followed by two figures in matching Chinese style outfits running on fences and other odd surfaces. Or occasionally someone would see the same two figures walking with the same brown and white dog in the darkness of the late evenings, sometimes even hand in hand.

Also the Anything-Goes Dojo had been opened and proved to be a great success among Furinkan high school students, who saw more weird martial arts action than most, and proved to be a reliable source of pocket money for the two teenagers who gave classes on evenings and weekends. In Akane's case the money went mostly to dog food as it had became a running joke that D-chan probably had Saotome genes… he could eat almost as much, and as fast, as Ranma. And in the boy's case… where the money went only he knew but there was definitely something smug about him the whole year.

It was Akane's birthday again when Ranma rose from the breakfast table and tossed a small box at his fiancée saying "Happy birthday, I know it's tacky and all but still… maybe if you behave I'll give you something else. And hey we're old enough now right?" before grabbing her head, planting a quick kiss on her lips and racing out of the room before a chorus of voices yelled out.

"Oh my."

"Hey! No fair I didn't get a picture of that."

"Oh joy! The houses will be joined!"

"Oh my manly son."

Followed by a loud. "RANMAAAAAAAHH! Get back here and put this damn thing in my finger! After him D-chan…!"

And finally an equally loud "WOOOF!"


Well, there you have it. Something crazy I just cooked up. Seriously if you lived in a place that has apparently plenty of strays, have Nekophobia then a dog would be the best possible pet for you… if you are not allergic that is.

The story was probably inspired by the brown and white dog that is currently snoring on my pillow and err… drooling it seems. Oh joy :P

Anyway… if you read this far then thank you and please do put up a review, if for nothing else then just so that it will boost (or deflate) my Stardestroyer sized ego!