A Deity of Crimson and Emeralds

By: kremesch

Content: Runo: RenoXRufus

How would the coldest, most powerful man in Midgar feel and react if he lost something that meant everything to him? Here, he reminisces over a loss he can't get over.

POV: Rufus

Disclaimer: All FFVII characters, places, references, etc belong to Square.

Gah! I made a silly mistake at the beginning. I hope nobody noticed it before it was fixed insert blush here.

I picked this rose today, on my visit to Kalm. The crimson colour reminded me of you. When I broke its stem, I pricked my finger on its thorn, and again, I was reminded of how deceptive you were. Never deceptive in a way that threatened or was hurtful. Deceptive only by the wounds that were left by your absence.

There was a time I probably never would have compared you to such a thing. Now, holding it in my hands, I see the similarity, right down to the colour of your eyes.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine you standing in my embrace. I imagined your lips and the rapture of your kiss. I half-hoped maybe you'd materialize in front of me, that all was a dream, and not the nightmare that remains.

Did you know I bought a ring of emeralds and peridots? The way they sat together, reminded me of your eyes. I know you'd only laugh if you could see what I've been reduced to, and I'd only be more than appreciative if I could hear your laugh once again.

This morning I laid in my bed for over an hour, I laid there staring at the place you used to sleep. I held my hand in the air as if to place it on your shoulder; somewhat hoping that maybe I just couldn't see you.

My empire has crumbled to the ground along with you. My strength has been reduced to nothing. I'd gladly give up more just to steal another glimpse of you, but I fear you are lost to me forever.

There are things I never told you that I know I should have told you. Things I never said that I regret never saying.

To be honest with you, I don't think I knew how much I needed you, until the day you were torn from my existence. I know now what I felt then, and I know I never said it. Could you hear me now if I told you, even though it's too late?

At dinner, I set a place for you, I even poured you a glass of red wine. The colours helped me deal with your absence. I sat across from you and had a conversation with myself, imagining the sound of your voice in my imaginary you. You said things I never heard you say before, and then I wondered, no, hoped it was really you.

If only you could see me now, the shell of the man that I've become. My only purpose is to be with you again. I've been to the hospital every day since you were stolen from my side, and I just stare at the place where I last saw you.

You completed me in a way that no one ever completed me. You cried for me, making it easier for me to join with your tears. You'd go wild like a flame that was burning out of control, allowing me to lose control along with you. You were my thread that was holding me together.

I know what you'd say to me if you saw me like this, and I did try to do what I knew would have been best. But everyday that passes, I die more inside. My obsession becomes more severe.

So here I am, standing at the foot of your grave, offering you this rose and begging for some kind of sign.

I brought this vial so I could fall to rest by your side, and if you don't want me to do this, I pray that you'll appear before me to convince me so. One way or another, I'm going to see you again before this night is over.

I died when you died, and have been dying since; There is nothing left for me to lose.

Please, let me hold you again, and tell you…

I'll always love you