Hi there, everyone! This is my first Gilmore Girls fic so I hope its okay. I hope no one is to OOC or anything like that. I tried my hardest, anyway. It is set at the end of "You Jump I Jump, Jack" in the fifth season and is AU from there but I'm still going to incorporate some of the events of the other episodes into it. It's also defiantly a Rogan so if you don't like them this isn't the story for you. But anyway, enjoy! Please review and tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls so please don't sue me.
Twice in a Lifetime Experience
For a brief moment in time, life was moving in slow motion. As she gazed down beneath her she could see the swarm of people collected on the ground, dressed in their finest, clinking their champagne glasses, their mouths were wide open and their arms were flailing in celebration but, to Rory, it seemed as if no sound was coming out. The only thing that seemed real was the feel of a hand clenched tightly in hers. Her heart was pounding in exhilaration, keeping time to the slow beat of the world around her, but the jump alone wasn't the only factor contributing to her pulse rate. She looked over at Logan whose face was lit up with excitement and he pulled her closer to him in the air, just before their feet made contact with the solid ground.
Suddenly a roar emitted from the previously slow moving, silent, crowd, and Rory was brought back to reality. She could feel the beat of her heart rise rapidly, explaining the feeling of complete breathlessness. Glasses of champagne were being passed around as everyone continued to scream and whistle in excitement. The only thing that still existed from universe that she had escaped to moments before was Logan's hand, still firmly holding onto hers. And, for some reason, she wanted to keep it there as long as humanly possible.
"You did good, Ace!" Logan cried while wobbling on his feet in order to regain his composure.
"Once in a life time experience!" she exclaimed in reply.
"Only if you want it to be." Logan replied locking his eyes with hers. As Rory gazed into familiar brown orbs she saw something in them that she had never seen before. All traces of pretense and levity were gone and for the first time she could see Logan for real. He was standing before her, baring his soul without even uttering a single word. She could see the drive and the passion emanating off of him and realized, as his hand squeezed hers tighter, that the jump hadn't been what caused it. And then something strange happened.
For the second time that day and, ultimately, the second time in her life, she escaped into another universe. She realized that right here, right now was her chance to make sure that she could add yet one more minute to her tally of "really living". The boisterous crowd around them faded into the background and all sound that was being emitted from their mouths was muffled. Again, the only thing that seemed real to her was the feeling of Logan's hand clamped firmly in hers drawing her closer and closer to him and before she could even form a rational thought his lips were on hers.
He removed his hand from hers and placed it behind her head, threading his fingers between her hair and pulling her closer to him. He deepened the kiss and traced his tongue along her bottom lip. She opened her mouth, letting him in, and threw his arms around his neck. She was lost in the moment, unable to focus on anything but the feel of his tongue and the taste of his lips, chocolate and champagne. It was glorious; she hadn't been kissed like this in so long, not since Jess. Dean was a nice guy but he couldn't—
Oh no! Dean!
Reality came crashing back and the groaned into his mouth. Logan, taking this as encouragement only tried to intensify the exchange even more. "Logan…"
"Rory." He moaned in response before resuming his activities. It took everything she had not to push him away. She was relishing in the feeling of his arms wrapped around her…
"No…no!" She said as she finally gained the strength to push him away and he stood there bewildered and breathless. "I can't…we can't…this is wrong. I can't do this." She said. His face fell and her heart shattered into a million pieces.
"What? Did I do something wrong?" he asked. It took everything she had not to break into tears right there. But she didn't want him to see her cry. It would only make things worse.
"No…no…you didn't so anything. It's me. I'm sorry." She said before turning around and running back to her tent. Logan blinked in surprise trying to comprehend what had just happened. He thought he had done a good thing by bringing her here. He thought she liked him. Lord knew how he felt about her.
"Rory!" Logan yelled before taking off after her.
"No, Logan. It was a mistake okay." She exclaimed as she speed up faster to escape him. At the word mistake Logan felt as if someone had just swung at his heart with a sledge hammer, but he wasn't going to let her go without a fight. For the first time in his life he actually cared about a girl. He wanted her more than anything and was willing to do anything to make sure that she knew that. He grabbed her elbow and turned her around to face him.
"No! It wasn't a mistake. There are no such things as mistakes, Ace. Everything happens for a reason. Don't stand there and tell me that that kiss meant nothing to you! Look…I know I've never done the commitment thing before and I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me but…I don't know, Ace, there's something about you that…I can't…I haven't stopped thinking about you since you yelled at me that day outside your dorm room and frankly, I don't want to. Rory, please just give me a chance…"
"I have a boyfriend!"
Logan dropped her arm and she ran away before she could look at his face. She left him standing there, speechless, watching her walk away, and knowing there wasn't a thing he could do about it. If she would have stayed for a moment she would have seen the look of sheer devastation cross over his face. He had just been rejected. Logan Huntzberger, the man who had never wanted for anything in his life, was left standing in a field, alone, watching the first girl he had ever wanted walk away from him. A strange feeling descended upon him, one that he had never felt before. His heart was broken.
The party continued to rave around him but all he cared about was watching Rory as she retreated back to the tents bringing her hands up to her face every once and a while to wipe away the tears that had inevitably clouded her vision. His it wasn't until he sighed in frustration that he realized he hadn't been breathing since he'd let her go and he shakily inhaled a deep breath before turning around to face the party.
He took a cautious steep forward and was met by Colin who was clutching onto a drunken Stephanie. The couple had been on and off since high school, neither one of them willing to admit their true feelings for one another. It was a routine that went on for years. Colin would ask someone else to an event, come up with an outrageous excuse to dump her before the party even got started, spend the whole night trying to find someone else to go home with to no avail, and then finally end up with Stephanie on his arm by the time it was over. By the time the cycle was complete, however, both of them were completely thrashed and had no idea what was going on. They'd spend the night together and wake up the next morning freaked out, promising that it would never happen again, knowing very well who they would be sharing a bed with when the next party rolled around.
"Logan! Logan! That was amazing, man. I don't know how you did it. I never would have thought you'd get Gilmore to go up there with you!" He said trying to remain on his own to feet and support the girl at his side as well.
"Who's Gilmore? Oh! Reporter girl…yes…yes…very good job Logan." She interrupted her self with a hiccup "Didn't think she had it in her." Stephanie continued before tripping over herself and leaning further into Colin. Suddenly for no reason what-so-ever Stephanie broke out into a fit of giggles and buried her head into Colin's chest. Logan rolled his eyes in annoyance, not in the mood to deal with his inebriated friends. "…In fact…I saw her doing a lot of things I didn't think she had in her…" Logan glared as Colin too submitted into the giggle fit that Stephanie started.
"Out of all the people I thought you'd hook up with here today, Huntz, she was the last on my list. But I get it man. She's hot. If I was in your position I would have her in bed faster than…"
"Shut up Colin!" Logan exclaimed, coming threateningly close to his friend.
"Whoa man…sorry…just pointing out a fact. Don't you think Gilmore's hot?" Colin asked backing up and gesturing wilding with his arms. Instead of answering his friend Logan whipped his head around to Stephanie who was examining the buttons on Colin's jacket.
"Does it bother you to know that your boyfriend here is one of the biggest asses at this event?" Logan asked icily.
"…Ha…hm…nooo…" Stephanie drawled out.
"I'm not her boyfriend!" Colin defended adamantly.
Logan scoffed and rolled his eyes harshly. "Yea…you keep telling yourself that." He said, trying to get around them. Colin grabbed his arm before he could get away and forced his friend to face him.
"Hey, what the hell is your problem, man? I'm fuckin' sorry for talking about Gilmore, but I don't think that's it. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that she just ran away from you and for once in your pathetic life a girl rejected you and you can't live with that. Well I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you've been reduced to level of an actual human being and you had your heart stomped on but you know what? It's a bout frickin' time. Get over it. Not everyone is waiting for the almighty Logan Huntzberger to come knock on their door. Some people are perfectly happy without you." He said. Stephanie suddenly sobered up slightly during that little speech and backed slightly away from the two men.
"Colin…" she said warningly. She was, however, ignored.
"Alright, fine. But you know what? At least I know when I want someone and at least I'm willing to fight for her, which is a hell of a lot more than you can say. Don't stand there and preach to me like your so perfect Colin. I'm sick and tired of playing doctor to the two of you when you guys decide that you're bored with each other. I'm tired of you sitting around getting drunk when she goes out with some other guy and pretending like you don't give a shit and I'm fucking tired of going over to her place and watching her cry her eyes out after you leave in the middle of the night because it was a "mistake". It's always a fuckin mistake with you two and fucking sick of it! Get over yourselves and make up your fuckin' minds because I'm done being your one man support system!" Logan screamed before turning around and making his way back to the tent grounds.
"And by the way…thanks for rubbing in the fact that I almost got exactly what I wanted when you knew the whole time that she walked away. You're a great friend, man." Logan said, chocking on his words. Colin looked to his feet in shame as he saw his best friend's eyes brimmed with tears.
"Logan I…" Stephanie started. He shook his head and walked away waving his hand in the air behind him and bowing his head.
"Forget it Steph."
Rory threw back the curtain of her tent and flopped down on her cot. Her eyes were overflowing with tears. What was she going to do? She had just kissed Logan. She had a boyfriend, a wonderful, caring, sweet, boyfriend who loved her and who was dependant and safe. Dean, how was she going to explain this to Dean? She felt horrible. She felt horrible for kissing him, but not for the reasons that she should.
She felt horrible for kissing him and liking it. She felt horrible for kissing him and wishing that she didn't have to push him away. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms right now, out there, with everyone else, enjoying the party on the arm of the man that she wanted to be with.
She should feel guilty. She should be remorseful. She should want nothing more than to leave this place right this minute and run back to Stars Hollow and tell Dean that she loved him and that she was sorry and that she would never doubt him again. But…she didn't. For some reason, the only person she wanted to run to was Logan.
Why did she want Logan? He was an arrogant jerk most of the time, although, once you got to know him you realized it was really more of a show. He didn't take anything seriously. He took way to many risks. Everything was a game to him. Not like Dean, with Dean she knew she was always safe. He was practical, serious, and straight laced. Logan was just to wild and fun-loving. He didn't have a care in the world.
Although, looking into his eyes after that jump she saw something. He did have a care in the world. What really scared her was the fact that the one thing that he might actually bring himself to care about could be her.
She shook her head hoping to shake out all thoughts of Logan and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed Dean's number and brought it to her ear, praying that he would pick up, however doubtful that may be. "Hi, you've reached Dean Forrester. I can't come to the phone right now…" Rory rolled her eyes and snapped her phone shut.
She should have known he wasn't going to answer. She hadn't talked to him in days. He was constantly working and between his jobs, her school work, and the distance between them seeing each other was practically impossible. They hadn't even had a conversation in days, just a seemingly endless game of phone tag. It wasn't fair. After all that they had been through this summer life was keeping them apart and it seemed as if there was nothing she could do about it. And now this thing with Logan…
"Everything happens for a reason. Don't stand there and tell me that that kiss meant nothing to you!"
That kiss did mean something to her and it was pointless to try and deny it. Maybe Dean not answering him phone was a sign, a sign that it just wasn't going to work between them. They were in two different worlds. They were two different people now. They had grown up and changed. Neither one of them was the same person from years ago. She had fallen in love with a sweet, charming, teenaged, guy sixteen years ago and no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise he wasn't the same guy anymore. Life had hardened Dean. His failed marriage had left him jaded and the pressure of three jobs and made him irritable. Frankly, she was tired of him taking it out on her. Maybe it was time for them to move on.
Pulling her compact out of her purse she checked her face to make sure she didn't look like a raccoon, satisfied, she took a deep breath and walked back out side. She spotted Logan walking back to his tent with his hand in his pockets and his head hanging. She took a step toward him breaking a twig in the process. He looked up slowly and gave her a weak smile which she returned.
"Hey" she said. He nodded but didn't meet her eyes. "I'm sorry about…before...I…"
"You have a boyfriend. Enough said. Don't worry. I won't get in your way." Logan said before turning around.
"Wait!" Logan turned back to her and raised his eyebrow. "Yes…I have a boyfriend but…I just…we…It's not working between us. He's in Stars Hollow and I'm at Yale. We haven't seen each other in weeks and…I don't know…I mean you didn't even know that I had a boyfriend, you know. I mean I know we're not really that close or anything but…we talk…every once and a while. I mean… I would consider us friends and…I've never even mentioned him to you…how screwed up is that?"
"Yea…right…" Logan said to his feet.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…I'm…I'm breaking up with him so…um…If you wanted to uh…I mean…What I'm trying to say is…I like you, Logan. I don't know why I like you but I do. You said before that you gave me no reason to trust you and that you've never been in a relationship before but…that's okay with me. I'm willing to give you a chance. Because…I do trust you. Again, I don't know why…but I do. So…are you still willing to…you know…"
For the first time during their whole conversation Logan looked into her eyes his lips quirked up into a genuine smile, not the smirk that she had become so accustomed to but a real smile. She realized that she was probably one of the only people who had ever seen this and she smiled back. He brought his hand up to her face and stroked his thumb along her check lovingly. His lips inched closer to hers but she pulled away suddenly and Logan groaned resting his forehead against hers.
"I just want to actually break up with him before we do anything, you know. I wouldn't feel right…" She began. Logan nodded, understanding.
"I get it." He said backing away. "You know where to find me when you're ready. I'll be waiting, Ace."