Putting the Puff in Hufflepuff

By LovesRickman

Warning: Drug use, sexual activities.

Disclaimer: JKR owns all you recognize, except the illegal stuff! I don't own any of the illegal stuff either, nor do I condone the use of it. I only own Morgana and I'm just having fun while dealing with the" It is 3am and I can't sleep 'cause the Muse wants to play" attack! Thanks to my sweet baby cousin Aeryun for the beta'ing! Please read and review!Pixie Kisses!

Severus Snape was doing his nightly stalking of the halls. As ever on the lookout to take House Points from any House but his own, not to mention the sheer cheap thrill of terrorizing students! As he passed the Astronomy Tower, he noted the door was ever so slightly cracked open and naturally he had to investigate.

Hoping he had beat Filch to the punch he crept up the stone stairs. The closer he got a sweetish pungent scent filled his nostrils. "Oh my, someone has just lost enough House Points to put them in last place for the next century" he smirked to himself. Smoking of any type could get a student into trouble, but smoking grass was enough to have a person turned over to Filch for detention until they were old and gray!

"1000 points from …" Severus burst out before he could even see the miscreant.

An amused laugh brought him up short. "Sorry Severus, can't take points from a colleague!" Leaning against a battlement and smirking at him was Morgana the witch who had recently replaced Professor Sinistra. Taking another hit on the spliff, she sighed and laid her head against the rough stone, gazing contentedly at the stars above.

"Really Morgana! What has gotten into you and where did you get that noxious weed you are puffing on?"

"'Noxious weed'? Oh, please Severus; I know damn good and well you were a teen in the '70's! Don't give me that 'noxious weed' bullshite!"

"When I grew up has nothing to do with this!" he replied heatedly. "Now answer my questions if you don't mind!"

"Let's just say that there is a Hufflepuff who shall not be named, that will be doing detention with our dear not-so-sweet Filch for quite sometime to come. I caught him brandishing his stash like a idiot and as a teacher I immediately confiscated it and assigned detention for the rest of the term."

"Any House Points from Hufflepuff?"

"Don't be daft Severus, I am just as biased towards my own House as you are with yours!"

"I would have docked points regardless!"

"Well, yes you would have, but I am not quite the sadistic wanker you are, now am I?" came the rude reply as she took another hit.

"'Sadistic wanker'? Pity you aren't the Head Girl for Hufflepuff anymore or I'd show you just what happens to little smart ass stoners when I catch them!"

"Woo…I'm scared now!" she mocked.

"Really… such behavior from a member of the Hogwarts House of Duffers! I'm surprised that any of you know what marijuana is! I could have sworn a halo was required to be Sorted into that House!" he sneered as he surveyed the witch who currently had her head leaning over the side of the battlement and was happily tracing the constellations with a rather silly grin on her face.

"Just putting the 'puff' in Hufflepuff Sev old boy! Besides you know perfectly well that Professor Sprout is our Head Of House. If anyone knows plants, it's our Pomona!"

"Are you trying to tell me that Pomona regularly teaches her house illicit plant usage?"

"No. But she does share with certain co-workers! I saved the unrolled stuff for her to see if she wants to use it for 'research'. She may well want to, this is some pretty good stuff here, not as good as her 'Pomonaian Green', but damn good all the same! Want a hit?"

"Indeed. She never offered any to me!" Severus glared at Morgana. Glancing around to make sure that no one was about, he shrugged his shoulders and took the proffered spliff and took several hits before handing it back.

"Hah! She probably figured you would go howling to Dumbledore. That's the only reason I figure she hasn't offered. Merlin knows if there is anyone who needs to loosen up a bit it's you Severus Snape!"

"Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn't have gone to Dumbledore. At any rate, I don't 'howl' to anyone." He snarked as he held his hand out for another hit.

"Wouldn't have done you much good anyway. He's Pomona's biggest consumer. Why do you think he eats all that ungodly candy? Munchies, Baby, munchies! Give me that back you greedy bugger!"

"You have had way more than I have so don't call ME greedy you insufferable wench. I just assumed that the man had an outrageous sugar high to keep up with. "

"Lover, you don't get all those twinkly eyes from lemon drops!"

"Lover? You are stoned aren't you?"

"Just getting ahead of myself a bit, maybe."

"Well, well, having a interesting reaction to the grass are you Morgie?"

"Morgie? Whatever. What kind of reaction are YOU having Sir Snarky Butt?"

"Now that was seriously rude Morgana! 'Sir Snarky Butt' indeed!"

"You called me 'Morgie'!"

"Well that sounds cute at least. Not insulting."

"I'm sorry Severus, you have not got a snarky butt. You have a very nice butt actually now that I look at it."

"Stop staring at my bottom!"

"Can't help it. It's such a cute little bum."

"You are clearly under the influence woman!"

"And you aren't? You haven't quit trying to look down my shirt for the last 10 minutes!"

"At least I'm not talking about it! Besides, you wear a low cut little thing like that and any straight male is going to take a look!"

"If you got it, flaunt it!"

"As well you are. I certainly don't remember you acting like this when you were Head Girl young lady!"

"Couldn't. Had to be a 'good influence' on my fellow Hufflepuffs. Once I graduated, I could be myself."

"Don't you think you should be concerned about being a 'good influence' on the little dunderheads in our charge?"

"Of course, why else would I be smoking up here instead of in my rooms where it is much more comfortable! Besides, I don't do this stuff all the time. Just once in awhile. Can't help the fact that someone was stupid enough to get himself busted!"

"And here we stand destroying the evidence. Give me another hit will you?"

"Here. Hey there is nothing in the rulebook that says we have to state exactly how much of a contraband item was confiscated nor does it say what exactly we have to do with said contraband. Only that we dispose of it in a way that students will not be harmed. We aren't harming anyone are we?"

"Might shock the shit out of a few!"

"Merlin! You said something funny AND vulgar!"

"Shut up. You act like I never make jokes."

"Well, you don't do it all that often. Maybe I should give you a couple of the spliffs left, see if we can get you loosened up some more!"

"If I'm not robbing you of all the 'evidence', I'll be glad to 'confiscate' them from you."

"Hah Hah. Wow. Another funny! I like you like this!"

"You are such a brat. Do you know what I do with brats Miss Morgana?"

"Kiss them and take them to your chambers for dirty sexual activities?"

"Well, normally no. But since you aren't a student, I will make an exception! Here, you want the last hit?"

"Nope, you enjoy. I would much rather get to the dirty sexual stuff in your rooms!"

Crushing out the last bit, he waved his wand at it to disintegrate it in a puff of smoke. Turning to the woman beside him, he cupped her chin in his palm and stole her breath away in a smoky kiss.

"Damn, I do like the way you kiss Severus Snape."

"You aren't so bad yourself enchantress." He replied before kissing her again and entwining his tongue around hers. With a heated sigh his hands roamed over her body.

"Mmm. I always wanted to find out just what was meant by 'Head Girl'" he smirked.

"Take me to your chambers and it will be my pleasure to show you all the background meanings of that title, Professor Snape." Morgana gave a low, wicked laugh before pulling his head down to hers so she could sway his senses further with more hot kisses.

Breaking the kiss, he looked down and laughed at her shiny eyes before picking her up and nimbly tossing her over his shoulder.

:swat:

"Hey, what's the deal?"

:swat:

"Told you were a brat!" he laughed as he carried her down to his chambers.

"Save the kink for later! I'm hungry. Do you think we could get the house-elves to send in something to eat to your chambers?"

"Anything you like Love, as long as it isn't lemon drops!"

"Pr-Professors?" stammered a scandalized Filch as Snape walked past him in the dungeon hallways, a red faced Morgana still draped over his shoulder was giggling wildly as she clung to the back of Snape's robes as she fought to keep her balance.

"Goodnight Filch!" they chorused as they passed the shocked caretaker.

"Um. Goodnight Professors." Argus stood there in shock listening to the faint echo of laughter behind the now closed door and sniffed at the faint aroma lingering in their wake. Surely not. He HAD to be mistaken. These were Professors. Shaking his head, he gestured to the sneezing Mrs. Norris and made his way to the kitchens for a reviving cup of tea.