Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or the characters, fox does.
Dedication: this story goes to all the woman who don't have kids, for medical purposes or just because you never want one.
A child's life is precious and motherhood is a gift,
And I know I'm not any less of a woman because I didn't have one.
Tempe stood in her apartment looking around her living room, she moved her laptop and tossed it on the couch then moved through a few papers she had on her coffee table. She got on her hands and knees and searched under her couch, moving things out of her way as she searched.
"Where the hell is it?" she asked herself getting to her feet, grabbing her laptop, and walking into the second room her three-roomed apartment had.
Upon entering she placed the laptop on her desk then sat in her chair to search through her drawers. Shuffling papers and throwing things as she looked, carefully placing a few delicate things on her desk.
A sudden vibration in her pocket went off causing her to pull out her cell phone, pulling her away from her search.
"Brennan." She said sternly into the phone.
"Bones?" a voice on the other end asked.
"What do you want Booth?" she asked rudely.
"Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"Yeah, sort of." She said moving out of the room into another, leaving a mess behind her.
"What are you doing?" he asked as she unlocked the door to a room at the end of the hall.
"Nothing, just searching for something, why?" she asked standing in the doorway as she starred at the room. She hadn't been in there in a few month's she had tried to avoid it, but what she was looking for couldn't allow no room unturned.
"What are you searching for?" he asked.
"Booth, did you call for a reason?" she asked moving past a bed that sat in the corner. 'What was I thinking when I had this room decorated?' she asked herself opening the closet door.
"Well, yes I did. I was wondering if you would like to come with Angela, Zach, Hodgins and me to Sid's for some dinner?"
"Yeah sure I could use something to eat. I've just got to find this thing of mine." She mumbled looking to a bookshelf that sat across from the small bed in the room.
"What are you looking for?" he asked.
"Nothing, look when are we going?" she asked throwing a few stuff animals behind her.
"Well they're already heading there. I was coming to get you."
"What time is it?"
"Don't come here, I'll just meet you there in a half hour. I got to go bye." She said hanging up the phone and shoving it back into her pocket.
'What the hell?' she questioned looking over to a chair that sat in the middle of the room. 'Why is that in here?' she moved towards it, and moved it out of the way as she searched a big box that was full of toys.
Booth starred once the beep went off, letting him know she'd hung up on him. He didn't know what was wrong with her, but he knew he better find out. Seeing as how he was only five minutes from her, he got there quickly and ran up to her apartment knocking on the door as he reached it.
When no one answered he tried the handle and opened the door. She had left the door unlocked and Booth walked in, entering her living room he began to look around for her when he heard a shriek and a few things being thrown around.
Booth pulled out his gun and held it at his side, thinking she may be in danger. He followed the sound of a distant bumping and found himself inches from a door he never knew Tempe had. The door was painted white, but from where he stood he could tell inside many bright colors were painted on the walls.
He had never noticed the door before, but then again he really hadn't paid much attention. He walked closer towards it and began to wonder what was in it.
Tempe sat on her knees, hunched over the box of toys. She reached in and had been throwing things out behind her, listening to them as they hit the wall and fell to the floor. She finally found what she had been looking for and reached in to grab a key that sat on the bottom.
Pulling it out she held it and walked back over to the closet, moving a few of the clothes out of the way so she could bring out a small safe. She inserted the key and opened it, before she looked inside she noticed somebody in her doorway starring at the room.
"GET OUT!" she yelled getting up from her seat on the floor and quickly walking over to Booth. "I SAID 'GET OUT!'" she yelled again noticing he just stood there looking around.
Booth finally reached his destination and starred in the room to find Tempe hunched over a toy box throwing toys and stuffed animals out. He looked around the room in amazement, not being able to believe what he saw.
The room was painted blue with a few clouds and trees and flowers, a small child-like bed rested in a corner and a crib in the other, stuffed animals lay on the floor, but looked as if they had been carefully placed to the side. Near the closet, across from the bed, stood a bookshelf and in the middle of the room sat a rocking chair that was painted baby blue and a soft shade of pink.
Looking to the closet he noticed Tempe had moved and was pushing a few clothes out of the way, clothes he noticed to belong to a baby. He let his gaze travel to the bottom half of the closet and noticed a few pairs of baby shoes sat in a nice row in front of a few clear boxes of toys.
He stood there frozen and began to wonder whose house he was in, it was almost as if he was in the home of a family that had just had or was expecting a child, not the house of Temperance Brennan, but soon his thought of being in Tempe's house was confirmed as he heard her yell.
"I SAID 'GET OUT!'" she shouted, pulling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to walk backwards as he saw her walking towards him.
Tempe quickly walked towards Booth and slammed the door shut, locking it behind her and shoving the key in her pocket. She looked up at Booth in complete anger and a hint of embarrassment, but one had to look to see it.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" she asked forcing him out of the hallway and into the living room.
"Bones, what the hell was that?" he asked still stunned by what he saw.
"That was nothing." She said lowering her voice, but bringing the anger up more. "You didn't see anything."
"I saw a baby's room…in your house. What the hell was up with that?" he asked looking her in the eyes. "I thought you didn't want kids?"
"I didn't and I still don't. Look Booth I think its best you leave." She said her face falling as she turned away and started to walk into her own room, but was topped as Booth spoke.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on." He said bravely moving towards her.
"Get out Booth and don't ever mention this unless you want to loose a few teeth." She threatened and turned to watch him leave.
"I'll leave, but you have to come with, everybody's waiting for you down at Sid's." he said looking at her.
"I'm not hungry any more, just leave."
Booth wanted to argue and tell her she had to come, but he knew she was upset, so he turned and left closing the door behind him and walked back down the hall. Tempe waited until the door closed to rush over there and lock it.
After doing so she walked back to the room to reorganize the stuff animals and open her safe. Looking around past a few belongings she jumped up from her seat on the floor and ran into her bedroom, the only room she hadn't checked.
Opening a drawer to her night stand she found what she had been looking for…a picture of her mother, father, brother and herself. They all stood happily and smiling at the camera.
'I thought I left it here.' She told herself rushing back to the room to put it in her safe. Looking around the room and began to cry, knowing her mother was dead, her dad was missing and her brother was trying as hard as he could to stay close to her.
She shoved the picture back in the safe along with her mother's earrings, the belt buckle and a few of the other things she had kept of her parents. She wiped her tears away and placed the safe back in the closet, and threw the key back in the toy box and began to put the toys back in there.
Once she finished she left the room and locked the door behind her, knowing it'd be another long time before she stepped foot in there again.
Monday came and Booth noticed Tempe seemed normal, back to her old self. He had tried as hard as he could to forget what he saw, but it all stuck out and he wanted to know why she had a room for a baby.
He watched her as she entered her office and he soon walked over to her, knowing she'd be alone. He knew the subject might be a little inappropriate at work, but he had to know and the sooner he knew the quicker he could get back to work.
Upon entering her office, he closed her door and smiled as she looked up and asked what he was doing.
"We need to talk." He said making his way over to a chair that sat across from her desk.
"About what?" she questioned, her face looked confused.
"About that extra room in your house." He said.
"Booth I don't want to walk about this and I want you to never mention that again." She said going back to her file, hoping that was the end of the conversation, but deep down she knew it wasn't.
"I will never mention it again, once you tell me why?"
"I'll tell you why." She said looking to him and throwing the files on the floor. "Because that's my personal business and you should have nothing to do with it.
"Bones, why is there a child room in your house. Especially when you made it clear on national television you didn't want to have kids." He pushed.
"Because at some point in my past I did." She blurted out. "There are you happy? Can you leave now?"
"Can you leave now?" she repeated, not wanting to explain.
"What do you mean at some point in your past you did?"
"It was a long time ago and I purchased the house, I was young and I knew that sometime in my life I would want kids. I was twenty five and I decorated the room for a future child, but as I got older I knew I wouldn't want one." She explained her face had grown soft and she looked to Booth and found him interested in her story.
"What happened in the past seven years that changed your mind?" he asked placing his hand on hers, and was surprised when she didn't pull it away.
"All my life I had somebody, nobody close, but somebody. I had my family, then foster parents and other kids in the orphanages, and then in college I had roommates. Well when I was on my own I realized how much I missed my mom and dad. How much pain I was in. I knew that deep down I didn't want anybody else to feel the way I did.
"I knew that if I had kids and if something pulled me away from them or if I died or never came back, like my parents I wouldn't want my child to feel the way I did. So I locked the room up and never changed it. I don't know why, I just try to stay out of there."
"What makes you think you'll end up putting your child through the pain you went through?"
"I don't know, but I do know I don't want to offer the chance to come up. Now I have work and a lot to do I can't handle a child and if something were to ever happen to me and I were to abandon my kid because of work I knew I could never live with myself. It's just better to never have kids." She said looking him in the eyes, hot tear settled behind her eyes, threatening to fall, but she wouldn't let them.
"It's not like that. The fear is always there with everybody, if something happens to you, what about your friends, how will they feel? It's the same with friends and family."
"No it's not Booth. With a child…they go through life wondering why mom and dad left and why they weren't wanted. If they were loved and if they were why did they leave you behind?"
"Is that how you felt?"
"Yes and I never want to cause anybody that sort of pain."
"If it wasn't for that feeling, if you knew it could never happen would you still want kids?" he asked the bold question.
"No, I don't think I would, I think I would just stay the way I am, happy and safe with my friends and brother. I don't need kids to let me live." She said happily.
"So you don't want kids because you would hate to leave them and cause them pain, but even though if you were promised to never hurt them, you still wouldn't want them?"
"No, I wouldn't I think a child for me would be bad, I don't know how to be a mom. I would raise them wrong or teach them wrong things."
The room went silent for a while as Tempe realized for the first time that it wasn't the fact she didn't want kids, it was that she didn't need them and thus for she wouldn't have any.
"So no kids?" Booth asked breaking the silence.
"No kids." She said smiling. "But I think I'll leave the room the same, I've got files and stuff placed in the closet and under the bed."
"I'm glad we had this talk, Bones." Booth said getting up from his chair.
"Just don't tell anyone, please?"
"I won't your secret is safe with me." he said and closed the door behind him allowing her to get back to work.
Well this was just an idea i hope it didn't stink too much. please review, i'd like to know what you all thought.