Link goes to college!

By: Shannon

NOTE: I do not own the characters in this fanfic.

Link was bored with ruling the kingdom of Hyrule. So one day, he went down to the admissions office at Hyrule Community College.

"Hello," said Link. "I'd like to apply for the fall semester please?"

"Certainly!" said the clerk. "Just fill out this application and give it to me, okay?"

Link went ahead and filled out every detail of the application. He decided to major in Hylian government, something he needed to brush up on.

"Here ya go," said Link to the clerk. "All finished."

"Okay," said the clerk. "Go over to the bookstore and pick out a catalog of classes you can take for your major, okay?"

"Sure thing!"

Link went to the bookstore and picked out a catalog. "Hmmm," he thought to himself. "What to take, what to take?"

Link went back home and picked out three classes: Hylian Government 101, Early history of Hyrule, and Hylian literature.

Link phoned in his intended classes and went back to the college to pay his tuition.

"That will be 99 rupees please," said the clerk.

"Here ya go," said Link, pulling out his tuition money.

"Thank you sir," said the clerk. "The bookstore is on your right and here is your schedule for the fall."

"Okay, thanks," said Link, looking at his schedule. Hylian Govt. at 8 a.m. Mondays and Wednesdays, Early hist. of Hyrule at 10 a.m. Mondays and Wednesdays, and Hylian literature 12 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays.

"Well, at least I have time to study and run this kingdom," said Link to himself when he entered into the bookstore.

"Let's see here," he thought to himself. "Hylian Govt. Where is the Govt. book section?"

A passing stocker at the bookstore said," Oh, government is under the Political Science section."

"Thanks pal," said Link. "Oookay......let's's the book. Basic Hylian Government by I. M. Aliar." But then he looked at the tag on the book. "Oh great, just great! My book costs 110 rupees!" Link picked up the huge book and placed it in a carrying cart (those little hand-held carts you find at the grocery store). "These textbooks are so expensive....and to think they ran out of the used ones!"

Link then picked up five more books for Early Hylian history...all written by one professor. "I can't believe my professor recommended all these books! I'd better be using these things."

Then Link picked up a used book for his Hylian lit class. and some recommended readings for the class as well such as "The Deku Nuts of Wrath," "The Old Man and the Zoran," "Hamblet, Prince of Termina," "Life on the Zoran River," and "To Kill a Deku Shrub."

Link approached the cashier as he scanned all the books. "Your total comes to.....345 rupees please," said the cashier.

"WHAT?" Link thought to himself as he dished out 345 rupees. "That's more than I paid for tuition!"

Suddenly, the day came to start classes. Link's classmates in his Hylian govt. class were curious as to why their king was going back to school.

"Welcome class," said Professor Moran. "My name's Dr. Marty Moran, Ph.D and I will be your professor for this semeseter. You are in Hylian Government 101, just to let you know. Everything you need to know about the grading system and testing and homework are all on the syllabus I passed out. You may reach me at my email or call my office or stop by my office. Oh, and by the way, you won't be needing the textbook since I made my own and I will pass that out to you at the next class meeting for a low cost of 15 rupees."

Link grumbled to himself. "I spent 110 rupees on ONE textbook that I didn't need?! This thing BETTER be refundable."

After his Hylian govt. class, Link stopped by the bookstore before his Early Hylian history class to refund the textbook.

"I'm sorry," said the cashier. "But this book is not refundable and we can't accept it because there's going to be a new edition printed out."

"But....but," said Link. "I bought this NEW and I paid 110 rupees for it."

"Well," said the cashier. "I'll go call my manager and talk to him about it." After talking with the manager, the cashier said, "Sorry, we cannot accept it, new or used. Looks like you're out 110 rupees, pal."

Link had never been more angrier in his life. He shoved his textbook in his backpack and made his way to his history class.

"Hello class," said the professor. "My name is Dr. Peter Millan Ph.D and I will be your professor for Early Hylian history this semester. My teacher's aid will be passing out a syllabus for you to follow. It has grading guidelines and class guidelines. Please read it and keep it. As for those five books, you don't need them. They're just for reference. I'll be passing out a packet at our next class meeting for 5 rupees a piece."

Link then marched to the bookstore AGAIN, demanding a refund for his books.

"Sorry pal," said the cashier. "These are not refundable. They're all going to be out of print soon."

After pounding his head against the brick wall of the bookstore, Link marched to his literature class, rubbing his forehead.

"Welcome class!" said the professor. "Welcome to Hylian literature. My name is Dr. John Jeebo, Ph.D. and I'm going to be your literature professor for this semester. Just to let you know, while my teacher's aid is passing out the syllabus, you don't need the huge book in the bookstore. It's a book reader and that's for another class that one of my colleagues is teaching but you do need the other books because we will be reading those and using them in essays."

Link AGAIN made another trip to the bookstore to refund the reader.

"Well, good news sir," said the cashier. "This book IS refundable!"

"Thank goodness," said Link. "I paid 40 rupees for it."

"Well, since it is used and it doesn't really matter if it's used or new, you will only get 50% of the selling price."


"Here ya go, pal," said the cashier. "Twenty rupees."

Link walked out of the bookstore. "Of the 345 rupees I spent on those books, I get back a measly 20 rupees." He then marched to his government professor's office and knocked at his door.

"Well, hello Link," said Professor Moran, answering the door. "What can I do for....MMMMPPPPHHHH!"

"I hope you like paper and binding," said Link after he shoved his 110 rupee textbook in his professor's mouth. "Now, where's that history professor of mine," he said, holding an armload of textbooks.