Well, here's a pokemon humor fic with pokemon as main characters! This fic involves a little bit of Tracey bashing. By the way, the reason why they'll have a TV and can read magazines and stuff is because I decided to give them human like traits. This stories a little different than how I normally write. Hope you all like this story! Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Ditchin' Kanto
It was early morning in Viridian Forest. The sun had just started to rise as a Spearow, nervously flew on top of a pile of boulders. He took a few glances around him before he noticed Tracey Sketchit, happily sketching a picture of a group of Beedrill. The bugs eventually got annoyed of him repeatedly saying, "I'm gonna sketch it!" and decided to brutally maim him with their needle-like stingers. Ignoring this, and Tracey's cries for help, the Spearow took a deep breath and prepared to do what he did everyday for the past two weeks. Little did he know, he was being watched.
"Good, he's not looking for me today..." The Spearow thought and then began to crow loud enough to make any rooster green with envy.
As soon as the bird started crowing, a yellow figure jumped out of it's hiding place behind the boulders, and immediately began to strangle the bird senseless.
"Why do you keep crowing at FIVE O' CLOCK in the morning! I told you not to come back!" A very angry Pikachu shouted while strangling the bird furiously. One thing that made him different than most pikachu's, was that his fur was a little more wild and his fur had a darker shade of yellow then regular pikachu's, giving him a slightly cooler impression.
"And...I told you...it's my job..." The spearow replied between breaths.
"No it's not! First of all, Spearow's aren't even supposed to crow! And second, your just doing this to annoy me and Nia!"
"Er, no I'm not!" Spearow replied nervously.
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes - you - are!" The mouse shouted, tightening his grasp on the birds neck with each word.
"I watch you two when your alone!" Spearow blurted out of pain.
"Yes you - what?" The pikachu shouted, getting even angrier.
Pikachu turned red with anger and threw the dirty bird off the boulders they were on. Then cursed at himself after remembering birds could fly, as Spearow started flying away.
"Haha! I'll be back tomorrow morning mousey boy! And remember, just when you two think your alone, I'll be watching, with my camcorder! Mwu ha ha!" Spearow called as he laughed hysterically and flew off.
Pikachu got tired of this and launched a Thunderbolt at the perverted bird pokemon. It hit directly and the roasted bird as he fell to the ground.
"Freak." Pikachu mumbled then jumped down the boulders and headed home.
He soon reached a part of the forest with a few bushes with a Oran and Cheri berry trees next to it. Behind the bushes, was a small sized wooden house. Expectin' a hole in the ground or something weren't ya?
"Nia, I'm back!" Pikachu called to an Eevee who was sitting on a blue couch watching Court TV, and looking very bored. He had known her ever since he had saved Nia from an abusive trainer half a year ago.
"Oh, hi Swift!" Nia said excitedly then ran over to him, and they kissed. "Where were you?"
"I got tired off being woke up at five in the morning, so I went to go take care of that pervert of a Spearow who thinks he's a rooster." Swift replied, beginning to get angry by just remembering.
"Pervert?" She questioned wondering why he called Spearow that.
Swift whispered why in Nia's ear.
"WHAT?" She shouted, sounding shocked. Then started to become very angry.
"Don't worry. I got him good with a Thunderbolt."
"But still, you said he records it? That -" She started angrily before she was interrupted by a crashing noise in the kitchen.
"Hey Nia! Where do you keep the ketchup?" A voice asked from the kitchen before they saw a bottle of ketchup fly through the air and splat on the floor. The glass shattered and ketchup went flying everywhere. "Nevermind!"
Swift fell to his knees in front of the ketchup. "Noooo!" Swift yelled, having just as big of an obsession with Ketchup as Ash's Pikachu.
"Heh heh...did I mention Rebel and Psy are here?" Nia asked with a small, nervously laugh, starting to regret letting them in the house. As she tried to ignore the splattered ketchup and obsessive shouting coming from the kitchen.
"Ya think?" Swift added sarcastically before storming into the kitchen angrily. Nia was used to his sarcastic behavior when he got mad and decided to ignore the comment, she actually likes the bit of attitude he shows when he's angry.
"What the hell are you two doing!" Swift shouted at a Meowth and Psyduck as he burst in the kitchen, looking ready to kill.
"Aw, hey dude! Like, when did you get here?" The Psyduck asked happily.
"I live here..." Swift stated getting angrier by the second. "So, one of you mind telling me what happened to my ketchup?" He asked in a threatening tone.
Psy looked down at the ketchup on the floor, then back at Swift. "It splatted dude." Psy said flatly.
"This idiot here dropped it!" Rebel, who's the Meowth by the way, said angrily, referring to Psy with a Hot Dog in his hand.
"No way dude! You're the one who dropped it!" Psy said defensively.
"Liar!" Rebel shouted back. Even though Swift had already given up on it and walked out of the kitchen.
"You're the liar dude!"
"That's it! This cats had enough!" Rebel snapped as he dropped the Hot Dog and began to pummel his Psyduck friend.
"There complete idiots...I give..." Swift sighed as he noticed a familiar looking Vulpix walk right past him towards the kitchen.
"No problem Swift, I got it." The Vulpix said calmly.
Then, she burst into the kitchen and torched both, Rebel and Psy with a Flamethrower.
"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOTS!" She yelled loudly at the top of her lungs.
Rebel and Psy stopped immediately and froze in place, or else they'd probably get torched and yelled at again. Too bad for them, Psy didn't stay quiet long enough.
"But -" Psy started then, she torched them both again. This time, they stayed quiet.
"Good, now stay that way! This isn't your house so quit destroying it!" She shouted and then walked out of the kitchen.
They stayed there for a minute before Rebel broke the silence. "Well she didn't say how long for us to stay like this." He said as he started to search for the another bottle of ketchup to use. While searching, they both noticed at the same time, a bag of their favorite chips, Lay's Salt and Vinegar flavored potato chips.
"Dibs!" They both shouted at the same time as another fight broke out. This time, over the chips. They fight a lot but they're really best friends from somewhere near Cerulean.
"There ya go, Swift." The Vulpix said as she sat down on the couch and picked up the latest issue of, Pokemon Monthly, and started to read it.
"Thanks Val." Swift replied. Her full names Valerie but they call her Val for short. She got separated from her trainer and ended up living in Viridian Forest too.
"Swift..." Nia called. "I'm bored. Wanna go do something?" She asked him
"Like what?" He replied, eating an Oran berry.
"You know what..." She said playfully then winked at him while smiling.
Swift nearly choked on the berry. "Not with everyone here!"
"Fine..." She sighed then walked over to the sofa to watch TV.
"Swift, you're an idiot..." He thought as he cursed at himself mentally for saying that. "How 'bout later?" He called.
"Swift, dude!" Psy called excitedly while running out of the kitchen with a bag of half eaten potato chips.
"What..." He asked sounding sort of depressed, still regretting what he had just said.
"I totally forgot to tell you, me and Rebel here, found these awesome plane tickets at some store in Cerulean!" He said flashing five airline tickets.
"How did you get these?" Swift asked as he stared at the tickets, wide-eyed in shock.
"We'd rather not go into the details." Rebel butted in. "So, how about a vacation?"
"A vacation? Love to!" Nia agreed excitedly.
"Why not?" Valerie agreed as well.
"Ok, but where to?" Swift asked.
"Well, it says on the tickets you get five different flights around the world, and the return trip home." Rebel explained reading the tickets.
"Five different trips! How much did those things cost?" Swift asked, even more shocked than the first time.
"We kinda don't know the price man. Some sort of airline special." Psy explained.
Swift shot them a suspicious stare. "How did you two get these?" He asked suspiciously.
"Forget about that!" Rebel insisted. "Where are we going, we can go five different places, so where to?"
"Florida!" Nia suggested happily.
"Far from Kanto, but the airline's got it covered." Psy assured.
"We'll be flying first class?" She asked hopefully.
"Middle class. Sorry dudette." Came the reply from Psy.
"Where's the airport?" Valerie asked.
"They just built one in Cerulean City a few weeks ago." Rebel answered.
"Ok then, let's go!" Nia cheered.
"I'll go pack the bags." Swift said as he went into a the bedroom to pack. The suitcase was filled with, ketchup, beach clothes, swimsuits, ketchup, and...ketchup.
"Ok, so where off to Florida!" Valerie cheered happily.
"Alright, out the front door and onto Flor -" Rebel was cut off by loud banging on the door as he walked up to the door.
"Open up! This is the Cerulean City police! We have reason to believe there are stolen plane tickets here!" An officer shouted from outside.
Everyone glared at Rebel and Psy.
"Uh, Reb, 'The Man' found us dude..." Psy whispered to Rebel.
"Heh heh..got a back door?" Rebel asked nervously while smiling.
"We have the house surrounded! Give yourself up!" Another officer ordered from the back.
"Crap..." Rebel murmured.
"Wait a minute, I have an idea..." Swift grinned. Then he started whispering his plan to the group.
"Whispering will get you twenty years hard time!" The first officer shouted.
"No it won't!" Officer number two replied.
"...Shut up, Paul!"
"Agreed?" Swift said as he stopped whispering. Everyone agreed.
"Wait, wait! How about we add this in too.." Psy said as he whispered something to them as well. Nia and Valerie slapped him.
"You must be nuts to think we would agree to that!" Val snapped.
"Hey, but you two doing the Hula in these awesome Hawaiian Hula dresses I bought yesterday, would be an awesome idea!" Psy said holding up two Hawaiian hula dresses.
A vain throbbed on Swift's forehead as he was about to rip Psy to pieces.
"How about we just stick with Swifts plan?" Rebel suggested, trying to save his friend from three angry pokemon.
"That's it! I'm going in!" A police officer named Jerry yelled.
"No man, they got, 'powers'. Use this." The police officer named Paul said pulling out a pokeball. Jerry took the ball then threw it at Paul's head. Sure enough, the ball opened up and in a flash, Paul was absorbed into the it. "Help! It's dark in here!"
"I'll do this my way!" He said while loading his rifle as the ammunition clicked, then he turned his attention to the front door.
Just then, Rebel and Swift burst through the door and started hurling doughnuts at the officers. The officers immediately dropped their weapons and started devouring the delectable spheres of dough. All except one.
"I'm a vegetarian." A very old officer said, ignoring the food.
"Doughnuts ain't meat!" Rebel pointed out angrily.
"Who are you?" Swift asked.
"I'm Prof. Oak, you little bastards..." The pokemon professor said slowly, taking aim with his rifle.
Psy quickly threw a bowl of salad at the old man's head, knocking him unconscious.
"Hey Paul, wanna go to Taco Bell?" Jerry asked, forgetting about the plane tickets completely.
"Sure Jerry! Then we can go to the Dunkin' Doughnuts in Celadon!" All the officers cheered and took off at full speed towards Pewter City's Taco Bell.
They didn't bother to ask any questions, so the group of five fled the scene.
It didn't take long before they got out to Pewter City, ignoring the large group of drunken Police officers eating and drinking at Taco Bell. Afterwards, they found themselves at Mt. Moon. Since they're pokemon, they took a shortcut through certain parts of the mountain. Soon enough, they finally reached Cerulean City and the Airport.
"Well that didn't take long." Rebel said ignoring the fact that it was a four hour walk.
"Yeah, it went by real fast!" Swift replied, showing his sarcastic side again. "My feet are killing me..." He murmured as he sat down and rubbed his feet.
"Not our problem dude." Psy said. Then Swift threw the suitcase at his head. It bounced off harmlessly as the duck pokemon pulled his favorite surfboard from out of nowhere, and smacked Swift with it on the head. It didn't take long before Nia ran up to Psy and growled deeply as the duck started to run for his life.
"Damn...where'd he get that board from anyway?" Swift asked angrily while rubbing his head.
Rebel and Valerie shrugged, ignoring the ducks ongoing pleas for help as he ran by them.
"Anyway, what about the airport?" Valerie asked.
"What about the airport..." Rebel said as his voice trailed off as he noticed it was guarded by at least fifty armed soldiers, two drunk Machops with blue police hats, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the Navy.
"Doesn't the Navy deal with ocean related problems?" Swift asked, sounding confused.
"Forget them, what are The Turtles doing here!" Rebel exclaimed before a light bulb appeared above his head. Swift grabbed the bulb out of the air and shattered it on Psy's head as he ran by, still being chased by Nia.
"That's for the surfboard thing!" Swift said angrily as the duck fell to the ground.
"Anyway, this cat's got an idea..." Rebel said, grinning evilly at Swift.
"What?" He asked.
"After all, it worked so nicely at your fourth birthday party..."
Swift looked shocked all of a sudden. "That all happened while I was only four! You wouldn't dare!"
"Oh, I dare..." Rebel answered.
Just like that, in a sudden burst of rage, Swift jumped up and gave Rebel a swift kick to the crotch. The Meowth shouted plenty a bad word after that from his new spot on the floor.
Just what happened at Swift's fourth birthday party? Why are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at Cerulean's brand new Airport? And why am I asking all these questions? I'm the author! Well anyway, about why Swift like's ketchup like Ash's Pikachu, it's because...there related!...Well, no there not. I just thought it would be funny! Hope you all liked the start of this story! Oh yeah, and one more thing, don't forget to you know what. It starts with a 'Re' and ends with a 'view'! Thanks for reading!