If you're only given one life to live, shouldn't you be the one who decides how to live it?
I've given this question a lot of thought and I realized that there are just some people who are fated to accept their destiny. I didn't learn this fact from simply observing others. I know because I've experienced it myself. I know because I'm standing in the middle of the flower fields, towering over my family's gravestones. They did not perish from illness or natural disasters and I am so grateful for that. It was simply their time to go and move on to a greater existence that the minds in the present still cannot comprehend.
What used to be endless love, laughter, and joy is nothing more than mere memories now. These memories are all I have to keep me from succumbing to the darkness that I used to fight against…back when I was 17. It is said that a sorceress without her knight guarding her spirit could easily surrender to corruption due to the overwhelming amount of power and stress infused into the body. Even though my knight isn't with me anymore…I still hold on to his memories and maybe that's why my powers had remained dormant for the one hundred years.
Isn't it funny that some people fear death but others, like me, pray for it? I have nothing to live for in the world anymore. New friends could never replace my old ones and a new love could never compare to what I had with Squall. More than a century has gone by, but I still cannot let go of the anger and bitterness that opened my eyes to the cruel world I once fought to save. Squall, the legendary commander and headmaster of Balamb Garden was ridiculed and reduced to a joke because of me. The younger generation was neither familiar with his background nor my true identity. We received no sympathy from the world that we risked our lives to save. Appearance wise, Squall looked three times as old as me even though we were the same age. This was because sorceresses tend to age significantly slower than humans and this factor put Squall and me through a hell that was far worse than Time Compression.
But we made it through together.
I didn't care about the other people's remarks because I loved him…and that was all that mattered. I continued to share his bed until the day he was taken by Hyne. Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, Zell…they all left after him. I was upset but I didn't fight it. There comes a time when we all have to let go…and that's what I did. I wanted to leave so badly so I could be with all of them again, but it was not my time yet.
Some days I would feel their memories were not enough to keep my emotions under control. It was those days that I wanted to discover my true powers sleeping inside of me…and maybe even use them to compress time, although I wasn't even sure where to start or if it was even possible for me to accomplish. Sometimes I would even feel sorry for Ultimecia. A part of me felt as if her motive was much more than destroying our world and creating her own. Her purpose on achieving Time Compression was never stated and that only made me question her true intent. Maybe she was like me. Maybe she wanted Time to take her back to a place where there was no past or future, just the still present with the people she loved. I know I would give almost anything to go back to that fateful day when I first met Squall, and we would eventually establish a story of hope, fate, and love that could never be understood by others. Yes, I would almost give anything to see them all again…but I wouldn't sacrifice the entire world to do so. Squall and the others would never forgive me for destroying their home and the meaning of SeeDs.
They say that no one can tell the future, but I could. I would eventually find a sorceress that I would feel connected to and pass my powers on to her. The one guarantee in the future is death and I would embrace it. Ultimecia would eventually receive my powers in the future and try to compress time, but I don't have to worry. Squall told me he already gave Edea the idea to create Garden and SeeDs to stop the sorceresses.
Heh…Squall was never one to break his promises.
Even though I can't see him, I know he's standing here, waiting for me in the flower fields. In a way, I feel as if Time has taken me back to the day when we made our first promise to each other…and I didn't need to lift a single finger.
Author's Notes: Been awhile since I wrote a Squall/Rinoa fic. Okay, I'm not sure how accurate this fanfic is according to the game. I've been reading some plot analysis on Time and Time Compression so that was what inspired me to write this. Also, the RinoaUltimecia theory is rather fascinating too, but I think it's a bit too extreme. If you guys ever want to read some interesting Final Fantasy VIII theories, definitely check those out.
Anyways, thank you all for reading and please leave a review!