A/N: PoaA's Super Happy Fun Time Hospital Episode: So, I went to see the doctor. He sent me home with possible apendicitus(spellcheck? no wai). That night(you know, after he sent me home a-okay) I was rushed to the hospital with kidney stones. One of my kidneys was, also, on the verge of shutting down. I've been in the hospital ever sense(I have yet to figure out why. They told mummy I was dying, like, five times.). Just got back a few days ago. MAN, I hate hospitals. The only good thing about it was that I coaxed my sister into letting me borrow her laptop so I could read fanfiction. Bwahahaha.
Passe: SO YEAH. Back to you, G0D.
G0D: Woah! We finally updated it! It's like 2 freaking months already! Sorry readers!!

Honestly, I was really freaked out when Passe had not responded to me for such a long period of time. I'm feeling so glad that's she's alright now. Also I was quite touched that she even made a will to email me her password if ever she's died so as to continue this story. However, I'm sure we don't need to resort to that as I'm sure she will outlive me. XD

PoaA: OMGWTF. Two days AFTER I sent this to G0D for editing... I'm back in the hospital. BUT I WILL NOT DIE. The doctors called us up, "WTFYOUNEEDTOGETBACKHERE." Turns out they mixed up my results with another person. A GUY, btw. AND they only told me they did the wrong tests after I insisted they do them(insisted with the threat of a malpractice lawsuit, because I was feeling DANDY). WTFWTFWTFomg. ...I hate hospitals.

Written By: Guardian 0 Devil, PoaA

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Final Fantasy VII, Vexen, or Square Enix, or anything else that is copyrighted. PLZ DUN SUE ME. Sophia, Emmie, and Roommate © Passè on an Angle.

WARNING: OOCness is a given. What's the next major holiday? I should probably start working on that now, just to have it done... Now, I admit I don't think this is quite as decent as the other chapters, but it'll do... for now. Let's all cross our fingers while thinking, "Passe will NOT be hospitalized before, during, or after summer break. Ever again." As a team, I think our thoughts can overcome ANYTHING.


Ongaku Niji

Day Seven :: Valentine's Off Target


My left eye twitches slightly, and Cloud notices.

"Who is this 'mother'?" I feel like I'm playing a word search game, but there's no word bank.

"Whose mother?" Cloud, I hate you.

'Your mother? My mother? Clooooooud's mother? Does this 'mother' come with a whip and toys for her favorite boy? Does Mother have a god complex and wish to destroy the world with a notebook?'

...I have a feeling you know who he's referring to.

My stomach isn't up to the challenge of cafeteria slop, so I opt to go back to the sick bay. Actually, Shalua opts for me, because she's the queen of this hive and I think she's stronger than me.

'Which you?'

...I feel schizophrenic.

Shalua is concerned with my nutrients intake. Cafeteria food must not be nutritious... I think my soup winked at me. Utter loathing fills me as we approach the sick bay, for I know what is coming. The Universal Power hates my guts and Shalua explains that the Hojo-lookalike is stationed there. I attempt to protest. I swear.

"Shalua... I don't wanna go," I whimper pathetically.

"Too bad." the scientist responds.

"Okay." I have been defeated. I demand some sort of sad, pathetic music start playing.

'I'm sure Vincent has a record or two in his angst-claw.'

Along the way, I start noticing couples; the scent flowers and chocolate waft through the area. Obviously, it is the season of love. Valentine's day. The sick bay door confirms my fears. Oh great, oh joy. I'm the admittedly hottest piece of ass around-

'...My bad.'

-and it's the most love-centered holiday ever. At least, where I'm from.

Just as predicted, when Shalua opens the door Hojo-doctor is there, filing some reports. Probably all the secret love-letters I've been getting. Yes, I'm aware of them Shalua. Hiding them for the sake of my sanity is very kind of you.

"..." I am at a loss for words. Shalua seems apathetic to my situation. Bitch.

She points to a bed. "Here you are. You won't be bothered here."

"...Isn't that doctor over there, like, my number one fan? ...Chibi." DAMMIT. Chibi. It's like hiccups, only this will drive me over the edge. Cloud sits on my shoulder because that's what Clouds do. ...The mental image of big-Cloud crushing my shoulder is unavoidable. I think it's causing temporary blindness.

Shalua pats my shoulder. "Don't worry about him, he's claimed to be unattracted to both sexes for years.

'Was she brain dead for the entire cafeteria episode?'

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

The female scientist excuses herself, leaving me alone with this creep. I sigh softly, laying back on a bed. Let him try to feel me up! I have the power of the chibis. Cloud, still clinging to my shoulder, nuzzles my hair. It either smells nice or he has a fetish. Personally, I thought he liked big breasts, if Tifa is any indication.

Sleeping!Cloud is very cute. Though not as cute as Vinnie.

I start to doze. The last few months of my life have been some type of hell, haven't they? The third circle of hell must be filled with chibis and pure insanity. It's for people like me. Cookie addicts who haven't gone to any type of house of worship since their loved one died. ...I miss my mommy.

'I haven't seen my mother in about ten thousand years. Suck it up, you baby.'

No. I'm a sheltered child. I need love and comfor- Stop giving me that look!

'You can't see me.'

I can feel you glaring at me.

"U-um... excuse me..." I hear a squeaky voice from my right. Don't open, eyes! Don't you dare open!

A girl, probably eighteen(as that's the minimum age you have to be to join WRO) is standing at the edge of the bed. Her hairstyle reminds me of Sophia. In fact, if she were twelve years older, she could be my cousin's twin. Several female soldiers, all around eighteen, gather around my bed. These must be the new recruits.

"Er... Yeah?"

"U-u-I just w-wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's day!" mini-Sophia squeaks. That's cute. One of the girls asks about my life before WRO, which unleashes a flurry of other questions.

Request for rest: denied.

They start asking me questions. Horrible, personal questions. Girl questions. Questions I could not answer unless I was female. Can't these people see that I'm a real boy?

'...I really shouldn't have to comment on that.'

This interrogation is getting me kind of emotional. All of these questions are purposely reminding me of home. Hell, I would give anything to have my post-chibi life back. Screw normality! Just get me home! If Sophia were here, and not her younger clone, I would be able to get home no sweat. She has all sorts of strange gadgets and gizmos that could help me.

I think I'm crying.

One girl hugs me. There is a time, long ago, when I would have enjoyed this. Now I just want to cry more. Right. Now I remember why women are insane. Hormones. Lots of them. I am not mentally capable of handling such things!

'...Dammit, you're making me seem like a huge pu-'


The room goes silent as I answer a question about my favorite food. A single shadow falls over me as the rest of the girls scurry away. Mini-Sophia sticks around, going back to, what I can only assume is, her desk job. This actually makes me happy. Mini-Sophia doesn't exactly seem like the type who can asplode a person's head.


Shut the hell up.

The shadow is connected to another girl. She looks older, but still young, and probably breaking a lot of dresscode. Dressed in mostly black, severely pale, and wearing black make up. From her stance I can tell exactly what type of female she is. Easily jealous, 'hey! Look how naughty I am' girl. One that has yet to grow up and probably never will.

'Her make-up may be able to get her into the shadows, but I bet her skin glows in the dark.'

Must be great at parties.

The woman leers, leaning in uncomfortably close. "You stole my boyfriend!"

My face says 'WTF?', she translates it as 'Oh noes! I dun bean caut!'

"I challenge you to a duel to the death!" I don't think I'll ever be able to appretiate the unique situation I am in. I mean... I'm at a WRO base getting challenged to a duel by, what has to be the only punk-goth-whatever in Midgar.

I'm more specialer than she is.

'...Okay, Halloween Barbie, lay one on him. The hardest hit you've got.'

Don't brake a nail.

Looking at her, I sense there's no way reason will prevail. However, I am waaaay too emotional to fight right now. Dr. Phil and a tub of Rocky Road are the only things that can save me now.

"Go 'way," I sniffle, biting my thumb. Whether this is acting or not, I'll never say.

...For the record, I'm acting.

'Sure you ar-'


"What the he-? Why are you crying?" Too Naughty For School asks. I must be the best actress ever, or her anger is unjustified and she knows it. Mini-Sophia comes back from her desk, setting a clipboard of papers beside me. I guess she's Shalua's assistant? Perhaps she's the reason Mr. Shrink isn't hitting on me right now.

"It's a long story." I respond.

'Over fifty-thousand words, to be exact.'


"Hey, Emmie's back in tha TaaVaa!" Sophia chimes, watching the television in the corner of her dark hotel room. Roommate sweatdrops, as he has become a quite comfortable chair for the TURK chibis.

Sephiroth dozes on the inn's bed, hugging his poorly made 'mama' plushie. Chibi Tifa is playing some form of tennis with the Silver Trio. She and Yazoo are beating Kadaj and Loz. Fifteen love.

Elena is going over a set of plans. They are, naturally, for entering Deepground undetected. Sophia has already decided when they're going in. It is also clear from these plans that she intends to break into two groups. She and Sephiroth, along with Tifa and the Silver Trio, will enter Deepground. Roommate is suppose to take Yuffie and the remaining TURKs to Wutai for... some reason.

'You know, this is very elaborate for being drawn in crayon.'

They spelled 'secretive' wrong.

A small spaceship resembling Cid's airship crashes through the room's one window. It bounces off the wall five times before landing. The chibis ignore it. When I say ignore, I mean are completely unaware of it's existance. Sophia's smile widens slightly.

"Cid! Thar ya are!"

What does Chibi!Cid have to do with ANYTHING?


Quite a deep explination, I must say.


Operation: Bother Vincent is a go-go.

I will burn in hell for eternity and a half for this.

'Vincent needs some new friends.' Is the thought that started this entire mess. It started late last night, as in early morning. The Voice and I were playing a game on one of the base's many computers.

Valentine's day was yesterday, but nobody could tell when the day ended in this windowless hellhole. Vincent, ironically being the only one able to go outside on a whim, is nowhere to be found. I checked everywhere possible vampires could be. Bathrooms, closets, basements, dark laboratories. Nothing. Why is he never around when I need him?

'Because you're evil in ways unimaginable.'

No, that's you.

"...Viiiiiiiiiinnie!" Somebody in one of the corresponding rooms tells me to shut up, I respond with a threat that would make Hannibal Lecter twitch.

I sit back on my sick bay bed with a frown. Cloud is shuffling through a bunch of drawers looking for some paper and glitter. We decided during the night to make Vincent-dearest a Valentine's day card. Maybe I'll have Shalua deliver it to him. Just to add insult to injury.

'You're, like, a puppy-kick away from being the antagonist.'

Cloud finally finds the glitter. Chibis have glitter-dar, along with shiny-dar and cute-dar. Anything even relatively cute can be sense up to five miles away. If they need a snuggle, they know where to go instantly.

"So... We need a poem. You can draw, like, a stick figure of Vinnie being happy. I'm sure he'll dig it."

'Roses are red, violets are VIOLET. Colorblind freak.'

You have a way with words.

In the end, the card looks like it took the combined efforts of a kindergarten class to complete it. RAWR! IRTV managed to put several lovely holes on the construction paper, while Cloud's Vincent portrait is spot on. I think it's of Vincent, anyway. Could be Alucard or Sadako.

'I must say, your drawings are the dog's bollix.'

Why thank you, old chap.

'Plucked raisons and all that.'

You jest!

'Did you bite your thumb at me, sir?'

Qui- All right. Even I cannot keep this going.

Now we must stalk the corridors until we find Vincent. The ideal place is near Reeve's office, because I know Vincent has to go there sometime in the future. Seven books of word puzzles, twelve cans of soda, two bathroom breaks, and we get our chance. Vincent is just about to turn the corner into the corridor when I fling RAWR!(attached to the valentine, of course) at him with all my might.

Vincent seems genuinely surprised.

"...What is this?" he asks in a calm tone. If Vincent showed emotions I'm sure he would be trying to eat my head. Pink paper, glitter, and happy faces that would make a mother proud aren't exactly what one thinks when they think of Vincent Valentine.

"It's a card from me an' the chibis!"

"..." He seems shocked, just a little.

'I think we've lost him.'

Good. We need more people in this galaxy of insanity.

Without another word, Vincent turns and leaves, still clutching the valentine. Cloud looks disappointed, but remains silent. I'm sure he's just happy that he and Vinnie JR are covered in glitter. They look like GLITTER MONSTERS.


I expect to find a horsehead in my bed tomorrow morning.


Ongaku Niji

Twenty Nine :: End


A/N: So I hear there's a Trinity Blood chibi-fic called Rainbow Life floating around. I wonder who it's by... -insert music here-
G0D: -grins- Look forward to the next chapter of Day 8! Hint: Attack!
G0D: Okie, I think that's all for now. Currently, I'm in sickbed down with a little fever and flu. Gawd. Really, I need to update my another story, Insanity. It's left hanging for more than a month...
PoaA: Not if I have anything to say about it... wut? Boxes.
G0D: Oh, passe, please do try writing out the next chapter 30 of Day 8 too within 2 weeks. ON had been left on the shelves for way too long. I'm sure our readers are getting frustrated... Don't give me that look! I did not said about sexually frustrated!! Just... plain frustration...

For now, Ciao.


Thanks to all our reviewers! (No list today. My account is acting all screwy and I'm way too lazy to actually search for this story. XD). For, special not-dead Nero plushie! Huzzah!

Next Chapter: Day Eight? I do believe so! We're making thus up as we go. There will be no logic.