Ok, I'll admit that I left so many plot holes in the last chapter it looked like Detritus had been using it for target practise. So I am going to attempt to fill a few of them as best I can with four or five shorter segments covering important points in his life only mentioned in passing.

Promoted to Glory
Retrospect 1: Destination Unknown

Xander's head hurt. In fact, it felt like the Marine Corps band was marching up and down in his skull playing Hail to the Chief with 21-gun salute during an earthquake that struck in the middle of a hurricane. It felt worse than when he'd been Hyena-boy.

In short, it hurt a lot.

He slowly opened his eyes, and found himself looking up at a large glass dome under clear blue skies. All in all, considering where he could have ended up, it didn't seem too bad at first glance. But if his life had taught Xander anything, it was to never trust first impressions.

"Ook?" a deep and excited voice came from one side, and Xander looked round to find himself face-to-face with a confused looking orang-utan, "Ook!"

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize." Xander sat up and pulled a battered looking book out from under his head, "My apologies." He looked at the ape, "Did I just understand what you just said?"




"Extraordinary. And they still don't know how to turn you back?"


"Oh, you don't want to be turned back."


"Ok." Xander nodded, decided to ignore for the moment that he could suddenly understand an orang-utan that claimed to be a Librarian, "Where am I?"

"Ook, Ook, Eek, Ook."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this..." Xander sighed, "Take me to your leader?"


Xander was amazed to find that spells could chafe, but the ones holding him to an otherwise ordinary chair were starting to hurt his wrists and ankles. He looked around the room at the assembled faculty of Unseen University and tried to find a sympathetic face but found none.

He could understand their reaction; he would have been the same in similar circumstances. But it was still taking for ever for them to come to any agreement as to what he was and what to do with him.

"I'm terribly sorry." The youngest of the wizards, who looked something like an older version of Harry Potter, sat down on a stool opposite Xander's chair, "It takes them a while to get to grips with any new idea."

"I've been is worse situations." Xander shrugged, "Alexander Harris; people call me Xander."

"Ponder Stibbons, Head of Inadvisably Applied Magic." The Wizzard smiled, "So, what can you tell me about the world you're from?"

"My world?" Xander took a deep breath, "Well..."


"We apologies for the inconvenience," Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully patted Xander on the back so hard he almost sent his spine flying out though his lungs, "but, well, the sort of thing that normally appears in the middle of the library tends to have more teeth than a river full of crocodiles and a temperament to match."

"I understand." Xander dodged another pat on the back, unsure that he'd be able to survive it, "Trust me; I've seen the sort of things you're talking about."

"Well, now we've got it all sorted out, I'm going to have young Stibbons look into getting you back to your home dimension." Ridcully did his best to sound reassuring, "Or at least let your friends know that you're ok."

"Thank you." Xander nodded as they passed though the main gates and into the city beyond, "Are you sure it's ok for me to stay at the University until this is all sorted out?"

"My dear boy, it isn't every day that we have guest literally drop in on us." Ridcully laughed, "And after the way we've treated you the past couple of days, it would be the high of bad taste to just through you out onto the street."

"Right, thanks." Xander nodded, "Suppose I'd better have a little look round if I'm going to be staying here for the time being."

"Enjoy your walk." The Archchancellor smiled, "And if there's any trouble, just say that you're staying here."


"Excuse me, sir?" A short, wisely man stepped out of an alleyway in front of Xander and flash a badge, "Thieves Guild: this is an official mugging."

"Thieves Guild?" Xander blinked, "Look, I'm staying at..."

He hadn't noticed the other man behind him with the cosh until it was too late, and the world went black.



"Ouch!" Xander hissed as he slowly regained his senses, "Keep it down will you."

"Ook." The Librarian said apologetically.

"That's ok." Xander tentatively raised a hand to his head and found it bandaged, "What the hell happened?"

"Ook, Ook Ook Ook, Eek." The orang-utan explained, holding up a piece of paper, "Ook."

"There's a Thieves Guild to regulate crime?" Xander looked at him blankly, "What about the police?"

"OOK!" The Librarian held up a small copper badge on a length of string that he was wearing around his neck, "Ook eek."

"Can I complain?" Xander asked as he slowly sat up, his head still throbbing.

"Ook." The Librarian nodded.

"City Watch? Right. Can you take me there? I just don't want to risk a repeat performance of my last walk."


"Thank you."

To Be Continued...