A Ranma/Futaba-kun Change crossover fan fiction

Started - 1 February 2001 Completed – 1 April 2001

Last revised - 10 May 2004 Reason - typos

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Futaba is also used without permission. This fan-fiction isn't intended for commercial use but is rather a tribute to the 'Ranma-universe' and Futaba ideas.

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Golden Lining by Cloud Dreamer

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Chapter 1 - Just Desserts

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Ranma grimaced as he held his aching jaw and tried to estimate where Akane had sent him to this time. He shrugged as he realized he didn't recognize anything coming up, well, at least it was something or somewhere new for once.

"Water, why is it ALWAYS water?" sputtered the fuming redhead as she surfaced from the large fountain. Ranma suddenly started as her feet felt something odd. She peered into the water and suddenly smiled. A quick dive and a few moments later she had scoured the entire fountain bottom clean of coins.

"Hey," yelled one of the girls who had just thrown in a coin only to see it snatched up from the water even before it could hit bottom. "Those are our wishing coins. They're not yours."

"Bite me." Ranma snorted as she clambered out of the water. She grinned and added, "They're mine now as this was just what 'I' was wishing for." She walked carefully as her bulging pants pockets threatened to cause her pants to slip off at each step.

Ranma walked a little deeper into the city, away from her home district of Nerima but toward what she hoped was a park (while airborne he had seen some trees in the distance). For once, her hopes weren't dashed as it did turn out to be a large and rather nice park. Finding a secluded spot, she set about drying her clothes and sorting her loot.

Ranma grinned to herself as she sorted the coins into the half dozen plastic cups she had fished out of the garbage. She had nearly 10,000 yen! She snorted at the huge pile of nearly worthless one yen coins, but dumped them into a bag and resolved to roll them up and turn them in for larger coins at a later date. A better and more immediate fate awaited the other coins, however. She chuckled to herself as she thought of an ice cream shop she had seen earlier.

An hour later she slumped back into her seat, a satisfied smirk on her face. "I never thought that I would ever say that 'I' had 'enough' ice cream." She glanced at the stacked bowls before her as she chuckled to herself, "BUT I am stuffed." She added with a slight groan as she patted her slightly bulging tummy.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught a flash of lavender-colored hair and immediately slunk out of sight below the table. She heard three familiar voices wondering at the mess on her table as they took seats at the neighboring table. Her face blanched with panic at first, but as she overheard their conversation, her expression became one of sadness; no, it was rather a blend of sadness, anger and despair all mixed together.

By the sound of the voice, Ukyou started off the conversation. "Well, Akane, Shampoo what's on the agenda for this week's meeting of the 'Ranma Fiancées Club'?"

"I can't believe that jerk!" snarled Akane. "So I'm not as good a cook as you two, he didn't have to make such a big deal about it. Honestly, turning blue like that was just over doing it."

Chuckling slightly, Shampoo asked, "Well what did it taste like?"

"What? Do you think I'm dumb enough to actually TASTE my cooking? Come on, get real. That's what I keep Ranma around for." Akane snickered.

"You know," Ukyou began hesitantly. "I've actually wondered why you do keep him around." She paused and then softly added, "Sometimes it seems almost like you actually do like him."

Ranma eased further back under the table in her corner booth. As she did so, she noticed she could see the three girls reflected in the window behind her table.

Akane shrugged, "Actually I have no choice about keeping that pervert around. As long as dad is so dead set on uniting the schools, Ranma stays." She started to massage her head before continuing, "I hate the idea that THAT smuck is to own MY Dojo. But to answer your question, NO, I do not really care for Ranma much at all. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the rescues and such. But as far a romantic feelings go, Kuno is ahead of him and I really hate Kuno."

"So you hate Ranma?" purred Shampoo.

Ukyou laughed, "Shampoo, you slipped again. You let your 'bimbo' persona fade."

Shampoo colored as she replied, "Sorry, it's just that I feel comfortable around you two at times like this." She sighed, "It reminds me of times that I would hang out with some of the other Amazon warriors and just talk. I don't feel as if I have other peers here except you two." She grinned, "If only grandma and the others only knew just how much of an act the 'bimbo' really was."

Akane chuckled as well, "That's true for all of us. None of the rest of the Nerima crowd has any real idea of what is actually happening." Her voiced hardened with anger as she continued, "I can't believe that they actually expect me to marry a pervert like that."

"Akane," interrupted Ukyou. "Why do you always call Ranma a pervert? I know he has about as much honor as his old man, but is there something that we haven't heard about him that you and Nabiki have been keeping to yourselves?"

Akane looked at Ukyou in disbelief. "He has the body of a beautiful, voluptuous girl, and you think that he hasn't played with it?" Her battle aura started to show as she got into the subject. "It infuriates me to think what that pervert has done to that innocent girl's body. Why, do you know that most nights 'he' sleeps in his girl form?" She paused and added with a whisper, "I shudder to think what he does to that body in bed when all of the rest of the house is asleep."

Shampoo shook her head in disbelief, "Akane no understand, not matter what cursed body form is, one still remains self. Even if is jerk like girl-Ranma."

"Hummm," added Ukyou, "I don't think that's what she's saying. I mean, after all Akane still hits Ranma's girl form, so I don't think she thinks of that body as someone else." She turned a speculative glance at the girl in question. "You aren't into girls are you? Is that why Ranma's girl form bothers you so much?"

Akane blushed deeply as she fought down her anger. "NO, I am NOT into girls." She sighed. "But you are right in that his girl form does bother me." She looked out the window and hesitantly began to explain. "It's because I'm a girl martial artist. Somehow I got appointed to be the champion for all the local girls. I did what was needed to protect them from those guys that wanted to do perverted things to them. But every time I see Ranma's girl form, I see a girl that I can't protect from that pervert Ranma. And it makes me angry." She grinned at the other two girls. "Come on, we've shared enough of our selves with each other in the past that you know that I like men."

"Whoa yeah sugar," exclaimed Ukyou. "How's it going with you and Tofu. You get him in the sack yet?"

Akane grinned a very earthy grin, "Nope, not yet, but he's weakening." She laughed aloud, a happy bell-like sound that Ranma had never heard before. "I'm so glad that I found where he moved to. I've been going to see him almost every week and I think I've nearly gotten him over Kasumi."

Shampoo sighed, "Wish Shampoo had someone." Her voice saddened, "Wish grandma would let me give up on Ranma but nnooo, all she can see is best martial artist she ever meet. 'Prime breeding stock' she says. Bah! What she is missing is the obvious. Ranma has power to actually kill a demi-god. He is uncontrollable by amazons. He will destroy the tribe if I bring him in, but she doesn't see that. Besides, Shampoo never forgive for stealing Shampoo's moment of glory by humiliating just after 'I' won the tribal championship. Also his fault that grandma give me neko curse."

"So, who do you fancy as your stud?" goaded Ukyou, "maybe Mousse?"

Both Akane and Ukyou giggled at the horrified look on the Amazon's face. "NO, never Mousse." She sighed, "He is actually a friend but, well, the idea of having children by him is just not acceptable." She added in a barely audible undertone, "I actually do kind of like him but the idea of condemning my kids to a lifetime of physical handicap is just not something I could ever do." She looked up at the other two girls, "I saw how Mousse was despised and teased because of his eyesight as we grew up together. I would never agree to have his child because I could never condemn a child to such an experience, especially a daughter of mine."

The other two girls nodded in understanding. Akane smirked and added, "So you do look for breeding stock potential in a man after all then."

Ukyou guffawed and added her two yen; "Knock it off, Akane. You know we all do to some degree; the amazons more than most maybe, but we both do it too." Ukyou turned to Shampoo and added, "How about Ryouga? You consider him as husband potential?"

"No," answered both the other girls in unison. Through her blush, Akane continued, "maybe once, but after I found out about his curse and how he was using it to sleep in my bed, well, that ended any chance he might have had."

Ukyou chuckled, "How's that circus going? You haven't let those two morons know that you know yet have you?"

Akane shook her head in negation and replied, "No, I've been having too much fun watching the two of them dance around the whole issue."

Shampoo sighed, "Ryouga would be just about perfect for a husband except for his direction curse. There is no way that I want those particular genes in my village gene pool."

Both the other girls nodded in understanding and Ukyou added, "Yeah, I hear you there. Sometimes I really feel sorry for that kid though. His whole life is doomed to be one of loneliness."

"I felt sorry for him too until I found out how perverted he was being with me." Akane blushed as the other two girls laughed at her. "Alright, I had that coming." She sighed, "I guess I really should acknowledge that he tries not to be perverted. He does turn his face to the wall when I'm undressing . . . unless he faints first," she added with a chuckle.

"So you want someone with good physical genes that you can control?" mused Ukyou as she glanced at Shampoo. At Shampoo's silent nod, she continued "What about Kuno?" Ukyou held up a hand to forestall the other two girl's objections, "No, I'm serious. Physically he's a very good specimen of manhood. Being filthy rich doesn't hurt either. The only downside is that he is a bit on the dense side. But hey, with the right mother, the kids could be alright mentally and super physically."

"Does that mean you are interested in him 'sugar'?" teased Akane.

"NO, I mean HELL NO!" retorted Ukyou as the other two giggled at her. She grinned, "He's got nothing that I really want . . . not even his money."

"Really!" Shampoo paused a moment in thought before continuing, "I know you aren't interested in Ryouga, Ranma, Kuno, Tsubasa or Konatsu; is there anybody that you are interested in?"

All three girls giggled lightly as Ukyou slowly nodded amid her deepening blush. "Yeah," she glanced again at Shampoo, "You sure you don't want Mousse?" At the Amazon's shocked expression she continued, "Yeah, I really do like Mousse, but I don't see any way to break him from his obsession over you, Shampoo."

"His eyesight problems don't bother you?" questioned Shampoo.

"No, not really," responded the chef. "I mean he can always get contacts or eye surgery and maybe the kids won't be as bad. I mean, in the restaurant business that is an easy thing to work around." She sighed with a dreamy expression on her face, "He could be a great help in the business, and his martial arts skills would mesh with my family school so well."

Shampoo placed a hand over Ukyou's and confided, "Yes, he is a great help; at least as long as he keeps his glasses on." She grinned at the other girl. "I would be more than grateful to arrange for you to marry him." She paused in obvious thought for a few moments before asking "Do you think you can beat him in battle?"

Ukyou's face turned pensive in thought. It was several minutes before she answered. The other two girls spent the time finishing off their ice cream and ordering another round for themselves.

Ranma spent the time shrinking into herself as she huddled under the still messy table. Her thoughts were chaotic at best. "They don't want me. Akane KNOWS. They . . . she . . . I, oh kami, what am I going to do now?"

Ukyou finally admitted, "Humm, you know, Shampoo, with Mousse's hidden weapons style, I'm not sure I can actually beat him in a fair fight."

"So, who said the fight had to be fair?" Akane grinned at the other two girls, "Just challenge him to a marriage duel right after Shampoo works him over extra carefully just for you."

Shampoo grinned as she popped her knuckles. "Shampoo glad to oblige." She paused and then nodded to herself, "This work out well for Shampoo as well if Sha . . . I make sure that great-grandmother is witness as well. If she doesn't enforce the law on Mousse then she cannot enforce it on me." She chuckled, "If she does enforce it then I'm rid of Mousse, a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned."

Ukyou sighed, "Yeah, but I'm not sure I want a loveless marriage. On the other hand, he's so obsessed with you that I really don't see any other way to get his attention."

Akane chuckled, "I'm sure that Shampoo has more than a few potions that will work to ensure the marriage is anything but loveless."

Shampoo merely nodded as Ukyou cocked an eyebrow questioningly at her. "Trust me, maybe they didn't work correctly on Ranma, but then again we really didn't want them to and I somehow managed to sabotage each try successfully without seeming to do so."

Ukyou's grin was ear to ear, "Sounds like a plan to me." Ukyou appeared to recall something as she suddenly opened up her purse and handed Akane a few tape cassettes. "These are for Nabiki, though the two of you might find them interesting. Ranma came over and 'confided' in me again." She snickered, "Oh how I enjoy playing to cute loving fiancée who listens to all his troubles."

"Oh, that reminds me too," added Akane as she pulled out a fat envelope full of large yen bills, "Nabiki sends her regards and here is your cut of proceeds from the last bit of information you provided from Ranma's confessions."

"Glad to help make his life hell." Ukyou chuckled before asking, "How is Nabiki doing? Do you see much of her now that she's attending Tokyo University?" Not waiting for an answer she continued, "I like the idea about Mousse. Let's go for it, but not too soon. I don't want to lose my status as the cute trusted fiancée before my mortgage is paid off." She smirked, "as far as guys go that's two of us since Akane's almost got Tofu. Now all we need to do is get Kuno for you, Shampoo."

Akane shrugged, "Nabiki makes it home almost every weekend so it's almost like she's not even gone." Akane suddenly giggled, "I've got an idea." She began laughing as she thought about the idea. She finally turned to Shampoo and said, "I think I see a way for it to happen but it will only work if you don't know anything in advance." She bit her lip pensively, "If you really want me to do this for you, I need your permission to do it without you knowing any details."

Shampoo thought about it for a few moments, then decisively nodded, "Yes, I'm getting tired of being away from home for so long and for me he is about the best catch I can make." She looked pensive for a moment, "If only he weren't related to Kodachi."

Ukyou smirked, "well, since she found out about Ranma's curse, nobody's seen her around at all." She chuckled, "I still think we should somehow get Ranma-honey and the Black Rose married – it'd serve them both right."

Shampoo shuddered, "no thank you. It's bad enough that she's my potential sister-in-law, no way do I want Ranma as my bother-in-law too."

Akane smirked, "aww, are you sure. It would be one way for the amazon's to get a hold on Ranma without you marrying him and after Nabiki gets her hooks permanently into Ranma, it's only a short step for her to tap into his 'wife's' money too." She grinned, "it could be our final 'parting' gift to Ranma when we're done with him as well as a way to justify all of us breaking up with him; a win-win for all of us."

Shampoo considered the topic for a moment, and then nodded. "I think that slipping those two a strong potion just might work. A temporary one so that they'll both be in hell after it wears off," she added. "As for Kuno, well, as you remarked, being filthy rich doesn't hurt at all." She continued as she stood up, "I need to go to the 'little warriors' room, so why don't you explain it to Ukyou while I'm gone."

As Shampoo walked away, Akane giggled as she struggled to explain to Ukyou. "Remember that time on the beach when Ranma finally got the phoenix pill from Cologne?" Seeing her puzzled nod, she continued "Kuno has some sort of weird conditioning concerning watermelons. All we have to do is get Kuno to challenge Shampoo to a formal duel and then place a watermelon on her head. She'll be beaten before she realizes what's happening."

Ukyou smiled, "I can get Konatsu to put the watermelon there, so that's not a problem. But I don't see any way to get Kuno to issue a challenge."

Akane grinned a very evil grin. "That's not a problem. I'll tell Kuno that his 'pig tailed goddess' has promised to spend an entire weekend at his country villa with him but only if he formally challenges and defeats the 'wily Amazon' first."

Ukyou fell out of her chair from laughing so hard. Fortunately for Ranma, her back was to the table Ranma was cowering beneath. Very fortunately, as Ranma was too shocked to do anything but gape if she had been discovered at that moment.

As she regained her seat, Ukyou asked, "You'd really do that to Ranma?"

Akane just grinned, "Actually I think I can even get Nabiki to help. I'll bet we can work it out so the whole family goes with them on some sort of winter holiday."

"Oh, you're evil. Want to be friends?" snickered Ukyou.

"I'm evil?" retorted Akane as she moved aside briefly so Shampoo could sit down again. "And just who is pretending to forgive Ranma just so she can maximize her efforts to screw over the whole Saotome family? Who was it that led the effort to trash the Saotome home and threw bombs to break up my wedding, thanks again by the way for that."

"Hey, I'm not alone in that effort." Ukyou replied. "What do you think Ranma will do when he learns that Genma sold Nabiki all the marketing rights to Ranma's images in both his forms . . . well, until he turns 18." She amended.

Akane shrugged, "Who cares, I mean it's not as if he can do anything about it. He's too much of a wuss to even defend his rights and uncle Saotome does have the legal right to make those kinds of decisions for him as long as he's a minor. Besides the profit goes to feed us and them as well as repair the whole house too."

"Not to mention Nabiki has set up fully funded college savings accounts for you, herself and Kasumi as well with lots of cash left over too," added Ukyou.

"Yeah, so?" Akane grinned. "If he's too dumb to recognize his own star potential, that's his own fault."

"So what happens when he turns 18?" asked Shampoo.

"As I understand it, Nabiki is planning to trick Ranma into signing over his legal rights. She will become both his legal guardian and manager as well. She keeps him fed and housed while she rakes in the yen marketing him six ways from Sunday. It will be like when she was engaged to him but much, much worse for him." She snickered, "and the best part will be that he legally can't do anything about it after she gets him to sign the papers."

Shampoo grinned, "Ukyou was right, YOU are evil. Can I be your friend too?"

All the girls were giggling together as they rose and left. "Well, 'kitchen destroyer' and 'spatula girl', it's off to the Ranma Wars" snickered Shampoo.

Only when a harried clerk appeared at her table and began to clean up both tables did Ranma finally rise to her feet, how be it slowly, very slowly. She stood there in shock a few moments before stumbling to the door and back to the park across the street.

Once again in male form, Ranma sat on the roof of the maintenance building at the park and watched the setting sun. His mind was a confused welter of conflicting thoughts, urges and emotions.

"PREPARE TO DIE, SAOTOME"

Ranma's hand slapped his forehead in frustration as he absently dodged Ryouga's attack. 'Great, just great, I don't need this just now' he thought. To Ryouga he snarled, "Back off pig-boy. I'm not in the mood."

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Author's note: Additional Ranma fan-fiction can be found on my Web Pages.

C & C to cloud (underscore) dreamer2000 (at) yahoo.com

Web-page - www.geocities.com (slash) cloud (underscore) dreamer2000

And - mysite.verizon.net (slash) cloud-dreamer/index.html

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